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BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

I mean seriously?

They both come from a naughty place, smell bad and sound funny. To add to the hilarity, neither are things that one can happily do at ones grandmother's funeral.

Yet farts are afforded respect in the comedy pantheon, whilst queefs are regarded as weird and yucky. Why is this?

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MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004

The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.
They only happen to women and women aren't funny.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
when my gf queefs during sex i laugh and try to make her do it more

i hate everything
Oct 15, 2010

MegaGatts posted:

They only happen to women and women aren't funny.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

patriarchy op

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp

MegaGatts posted:

They only happen to women and women aren't funny.

Yep.

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


FordPRefectLL posted:

when my gf queefs during sex i laugh and try to make her do it more

like you've ever touched a girl

FreshCutFries
Sep 15, 2007

There is a dearth of queefs in comedy. We need a real life version of that farting rear end movie in idiocracy, but with queefs, to correct this.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy

Doctor Dogballs posted:

like you've ever touched a girl

i cant help that your mother has a small vagina

Alec Bald Snatch
Sep 12, 2012

by exmarx

Thingyman posted:

There is a dearth of queefs in comedy. We need a real life version of that farting rear end movie in idiocracy, but with queefs, to correct this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs6-o7Ci8J0

Cosmic Charlie
Apr 6, 2009

How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue

MegaGatts posted:

They only happen to women and women aren't funny.

Women can be really funny, imagine kathy griffin except instead of trying to be funny she just walked up to the mike, bent over and queefed. Now isnt that so much better?

Bad Titty Puker
Nov 3, 2007
Soiled Meat
Butts are funnier than dicks or cunts, therefore by the transitive property of taking-all-the-fun-out-of-it farts are funnier than queefs. But if you can fart out of your dick you're almost as cool as the guy who can smoke with it.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
Butts are funny, vaginas are not funny.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Cosmic Charlie posted:

Women can be really funny, imagine kathy griffin except instead of trying to be funny she just walked up to the mike, bent over and queefed. Now isnt that so much better?

That's not what she does normally?

Sufficient
Aug 7, 2006
I'M A FUCKING IDIOT
p.s. don't wear condoms

BrigadierSensible posted:

I mean seriously?

They both come from a naughty place, smell bad and sound funny. To add to the hilarity, neither are things that one can happily do at ones grandmother's funeral.

Yet farts are afforded respect in the comedy pantheon, whilst queefs are regarded as weird and yucky. Why is this?

You never had to hold back a chuckle when you finger bang a girl and both of you are trying real hard to ignore that she's queefing a ton? They're silly OP.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
its because a fart could always be a shart aswell and its the inherent risk factor

Alec Bald Snatch
Sep 12, 2012

by exmarx

notZaar posted:

Butts are funny, vaginas are not funny.

vaginas are funny as gently caress, didn't you see predator?

Cosmic Charlie
Apr 6, 2009

How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue

Robo Reagan posted:

That's not what she does normally?

Apparently not, cause im not laughing

Maldoror
Oct 5, 2003

by R. Guyovich
Nap Ghost
farts are funny

queefs are funny

south park isn't

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Sexism you sexist fucks.

dirtymurphy24
Nov 30, 2014

The doctor is in.
Girls can fart too, OP.

Cosmic Charlie
Apr 6, 2009

How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue

dirtymurphy24 posted:

Girls can fart too, OP.

But they can double fart at the same time! How can I even compete with that?

Dead Precedents
May 5, 2005

Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.
'cause there's no queef-like noise that comes from dicks, but everyone has butts.

DoctorStrangelove
Jun 7, 2012

IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

rape culture

The_Book_Of_Harry
Apr 30, 2013

More specifically, men write most comedy, and they cannot queef.

The fart, therefore, has been more thoroughly explored.

The_Book_Of_Harry
Apr 30, 2013

Also, while farts can be embarassing, boys are often willing to choose being obnoxious rather than ashamed.

Women are less likely to combat embarassment head-on, especially in the case of a queef. They'd have to public acknowledge their ladybits.

(Apologizing in advance to all the carefags who might be uppity about my cis-specific language.)

defectivemonkey
Jun 5, 2012
Wow extreme flawed premise, OP.

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp

detectivemonkey posted:

Wow extreme flawed premise, OP.

yeah who tf says queefs arent as funny as fart

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
when a man and a woman love each other very much sometimes a lot of air will get trapped in a vag and be expelled violently post coitus and it is a very rude sound that is extremely hilarious due to the relaxed vulva making the lips flappy

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
Because I get too turned on to even think about laughing.

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Queefs aren't usually funny because you're usually fuckin when it happens.

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014
queefs aren't supposed to smell, op. tell your lady to clean herself once in a while

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum
realtalk: the only way air can become trapped in a woman's vagina is through sex or masturbation

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
queefs come at a time when laughter is not appropriate

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Baba Ganoush posted:

realtalk: the only way air can become trapped in a woman's vagina is through sex or masturbation

Thanks for the advice Sex God...Jesus loving christ.

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum
welcome

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010

you can't pull cool tricks with queefs like blaming it on the dog or queefing as you walk by a hated coworkers cubicle

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

Cuz they aren't farts.

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
The funny part isn't the queef, it's watching my girlfriend basically do situps to try and get all the air out..lol

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Rex Deckard
Jul 15, 2004

ZombieParts posted:

queefs come at a time when laughter is not appropriate

If you cant laugh during sex and all of the hilarity that can occur you are not doing any of it right. Sex is better when you both lighten up.

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