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jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012
what say gbs? Pretend you do but its online atm because that's the modern way? Come out as gay/ephebophile in a panic? parrot redpill & mens rights talk points? WHAT DO GBS, ThE TABLE HAS FALLEN SILENT AND EVERYONE IS AWAITING UR ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!

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Rodatose
Jul 8, 2008

corn, corn, corn
i drank a chemical castration potion grandma. so rude to ask but sometime I forget you are from a bygone era.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
look ur meemaw in teh eye & say


"im gay"

Iseeyouseemeseeyou
Jan 3, 2011
idk i have 1 :smug:

Iseeyouseemeseeyou fucked around with this message at 11:00 on Dec 22, 2014

The Taint Reaper
Sep 4, 2012

by Shine
Because I have a wife and gently caress paying alimony

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014
"What the gently caress, are you hitting on me, Grandma?"

Nude Bog Lurker
Jan 2, 2007
Fun Shoe
stare her in the eyes and chant TEE EFF DUBYEW over and over again

KillTylerDurden
May 15, 2004
I watched Fight Club one too many times.
This is why I've taken my RealDoll to every family function and public outing over the last 10 years.

Whorelord
May 1, 2013

Jump into the well...

gently caress Nana you're supposed to be dead

generative grammer
Jul 28, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
"well the times are different granny, these days you got to try and shop around and strive in the cutthroat sexual marketplace while in the olden days you married the first ugly hag you managed to knock up at the village fair, just like grandpa had to"

Torka
Jan 5, 2008

it'd be worse if nobody asked you that question because the answer was obvious

Obligatory Handle
Feb 27, 2004

by Lowtax
All the girls I know are stuck up. (Has a neckbeard and constantly smells like rotten garbage.)

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Obligatory Handle posted:

All the girls I know are stuck up. (Has a neckbeard and constantly smells like rotten garbage.)

Gramma all the females are lesbians

(I'm actually gay)

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

Torka posted:

it'd be worse if nobody asked you that question because the answer was obvious

stop spying on me

Smeego
Sep 9, 2001

japan sucks
*looks up from awful app* GRANDMA

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
both my grandmas died thinking im straight lol

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

Tsinava posted:

both my grandmas died thinking im straight lol

They can see you sodomising in heaven and they're probably making this face :/

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
Good.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
I hope my grandpas are watching too.

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
You should be proactive and hold a party where you come out as having no gf. Like maybe print out the horrific anime tentacle abominations you jerk off to and hold dramatic readings of the spockxsherlock fanfics where grandma can join the fun

The Bible
May 8, 2010

Just kick her as hard as you can right in the oval office.

School Nickname
Apr 23, 2010

*fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*
:ussr:

Smeego posted:

*looks up from awful app* GRANDMA

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
"Because I'm a straight woman, grandma, take your pills."

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp
Jalopy, next year I'll let you borrow me for such occasions - I'll step in as the girlfriend your Nanna wished you had, and [now] apparently do have. :D

The only problem I see with that cunning plan is that you're gonna be majorly pissed off when the inevitable happens: Nans will be charmed by me, bequeathing all her worldly possessions to me in her Will.

Then you'll be left with a pseudo-girlfriend that yourself and rest of the family hates, but whom now-deceased Nanna adored.

But, them's the breaks, eh?

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

Gunky Junket posted:

Jalopy, next year I'll let you borrow me for such occasions - I'll step in as the girlfriend your Nanna wished you had, and [now] apparently do have. :D

The only problem I see with that cunning plan is that you're gonna be majorly pissed off when the inevitable happens: Nans will be charmed by me, bequeathing all her worldly possessions to me in her Will.

Then you'll be left with a pseudo-girlfriend that yourself and rest of the family hates, but whom now-deceased Nanna adored.

But, them's the breaks, eh?

I'm glad of the offer but I'll drunkenly argue with you over posting Immodest pictures on gbs (feet)

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 8, 2007

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe
I'd explain to her the ins and outs of the modern porn industry and how hard it is to really have any meaningful interactions when there are new releases every few hours. Then I'd go on to tell her the differences between modern plastics and how good vacuum forming technology is nowadays, and that all you really need from a woman is a plaster cast of her vagina so the good folks at fleshlight can work their magic.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012
Any unsullied not a whore goonettes or troons want to extend the offer though?

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp

jalopybrown posted:

Any unsullied not a whore goonettes or troons want to extend the offer though?

Lol you beastly man!

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
yeah op i bet your grandmother has no idea why her obese shut in grandson has no gf

Its a real head scratcher that one

Frozen to Death
Mar 27, 2010

I stopped getting asked this question years ago haha

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007

this pic is giving me sympathetic toe cramps

Diesel Fucker
Aug 14, 2003

I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.
Because I'm loving ugly! Thanks for the lovely genes, Granny.

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
just give me a couple months grandma,

opus111
Jul 6, 2014

i just tell her i cant meet a nice girl and she nods understandingly. hope this helps you in your hour of need. op.

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
"You know, I've been dating around but I just haven't found a girl that I connect with. I know that I'm part of the issue, I'm wary and sometimes difficult, but I've always been just so disappointed every time I've really gotten close to someone that it's made me gun-shy about getting deeply involved with anyone. Add to that my crazy work hours and my shallow, looks-based hurdles that I put in front of every woman that I date, and I really limit my pool."

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

grandma don't you remember, i'm a hologram on youtube

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


youre the only girlfriend i need grandma

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Calmly explain to grandma that I'm not here to educated her on what it means to be an asexual genderfluid otherkin with headmates.

loving cisscum.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
Your shoddy genetic material has left me a fat sterile shell of a man.

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flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

"Women these days aren't worth dating, grandma. They don't know how to respect a man like your generation did."

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