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Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Which one would win in a fight if they were both pissed off? They're both males; gorilla is a silverback.


:siren::siren:RULE UPDATES:siren::siren:

The fight takes place in the gorilla's natural habitat. If you don't think one gorilla is enough, then there are two gorillas.

Gaunab fucked around with this message at 20:00 on Dec 22, 2014

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a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

what weapons do they have

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Has either of them been trained in Krav Maga?

Do either of them lift?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Grizzly.

Gorillas are pussies.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
You're talking mobility in the Gorilla and intelligence vs the Tank nature of the Bear. Kodiak Grizzlies can be over 1000lbs and 10ft tall with very thicK hyde. It'd depend if the Gorilla could strangle from the back or some such. Otherwise the bear is no slouch on movement and climbing and has massive paws.

I'd edge bear.

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
grizzly, not even close. two gorillas vs one grizzly, maybe.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

What's the arena, I'm inclined to say grizzly but major climate differences also make me think the choice of venue could play a big role. in the jungle the bear could overheat or get hit with a sleeping dart by a pygmy, since it doesn't have the appropriate street savvy to dodge

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp
Is the gorilla straight or gay?

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax
are they in freefall, this is important

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
it doesn't matter what the gorilla does, grizzlies feel no pain and are as strong if not stronger and have massive claws and teeth. grizzlies are also insanely aggressive and decapitate people for fun. if a bee stings a grizzly, the grizzly will destroy anything within an acre's radius, trees, whatever

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
if it's one of the laser gorillas from congo tho that's a whole different matter

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
op updated

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp

Frostwerks posted:

are they in freefall, this is important

If it was so important you'd have used a question mark. Clearly mine is the more important question.

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

Frostwerks posted:

are they in freefall, this is important
if you have to assume the scenario occurs a vacuum, it doesn't

i think it depends on how keen the gorilla is to using natural tools. like if he tries to just go head-to-head with that bear he would probably get hosed up but if he brings a log wwe-style then he has it in the bag

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Is the gorilla horny? Because if so that bear would get raped so bad it wouldn't be able to walk never mind fight.

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012
Grimey Drawer
If it occurs in a vacuum I say they all lose in under 2 minutes.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I think the grizzly would easily win. A chimp vs grizzly would be a little more interesting.

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

Frostwerks posted:

are they in freefall, this is important

Lunar gravity

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Serious answer: The bear would take the gorilla's head off with one swipe. Gorilla's may be more intelligent, but it's not like it can make weapons or traps. Nor are they known for climbing and then "dive bombing" prey: they are so big they just assume they can attack anything head on. The bear is heavier, stronger, and has claws.

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012
Grimey Drawer

spud posted:

Serious answer: The bear would take the gorilla's head off with one swipe. Gorilla's may be more intelligent, but it's not like it can make weapons or traps. Nor are they known for climbing and then "dive bombing" prey: they are so big they just assume they can attack anything head on. The bear is heavier, stronger, and has claws.

dont underestimate the opposable thumb.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

The bear's offensive weaponry would be it's sheer mass and bite force, but I think the gorilla could counter that with it's durable frame and raw strength. Even if the bear got its jaw locked onto the gorillas arm, the other one could cave its head in. Weight doesn't always mean muscle, and muscle doesn't always mean strength.

flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Dec 22, 2014

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Jst0rm posted:

dont underestimate the opposable thumb.

I already asked if the Gorilla was horny and no-one gave me an answer, so I assumed not, so that thumb wont do poo poo

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp

spud posted:

Serious answer: The bear would take the gorilla's head off with one swipe. 

naem
May 29, 2011

What would they fight? What's the motivation?

Like two animals my get scared and threat display at each other but they mostly keep their distance.

Is it a delicious cherry pie? On a picnic table?

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

How did I used chainsaws???

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

naem posted:

What would they fight? What's the motivation?

Like two animals my get scared and threat display at each other but they mostly keep their distance.

Is it a delicious cherry pie? On a picnic table?

Bear is making fun of Gorilla titties and Gorilla is making fun of Bear's baggy pants.

Neither is gonna let that poo poo go down.

Commoners
Apr 25, 2007

Sometimes you reach a stalemate. Sometimes you get magic horses.

naem posted:

What would they fight? What's the motivation?

Like two animals my get scared and threat display at each other but they mostly keep their distance.

Is it a delicious cherry pie? On a picnic table?

A pic-a-nic basket full of bananas.

NihilismNow
Aug 31, 2003
Now that has been settled: Grizzly vs. Polar bear, takes place in Alaska.

Is there anything on the planet that can defeat a Grizzly/Polar bear (no humans)?

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

NihilismNow posted:

Now that has been settled: Grizzly vs. Polar bear, takes place in Alaska.

Is there anything on the planet that can defeat a Grizzly/Polar bear (no humans)?

yes a gorilla

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp

spud posted:

How did I used chainsaws???

You're special.

naem
May 29, 2011

NihilismNow posted:

Now that has been settled: Grizzly vs. Polar bear, takes place in Alaska.

Is there anything on the planet that can defeat a Grizzly/Polar bear (no humans)?

They would make sweet sweet love:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grizzly%E2%80%93polar_bear_hybrid

BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax

NihilismNow posted:

Now that has been settled: Grizzly vs. Polar bear, takes place in Alaska.

Is there anything on the planet that can defeat a Grizzly/Polar bear (no humans)?

The Ebola Virus.

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

NihilismNow posted:

Now that has been settled: Grizzly vs. Polar bear, takes place in Alaska.

Is there anything on the planet that can defeat a Grizzly/Polar bear (no humans)?

The steamroller from Maximum Overdrive

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Grizzly would beat a polar bear.


How about 5 black bears versus a grizzly?

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

redshirt posted:

Grizzly would beat a polar bear.


How about 5 black bears versus a grizzly?

What? Polar bears are the largest bears you idiot. Did you get mixed up with Adults and Children again?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

spud posted:

What? Polar bears are the largest bears you idiot. Did you get mixed up with Adults and Children again?

Polar bears are used to weak rear end prey whereas a grizzly has to fight every day.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

spud posted:

What? Polar bears are the largest bears you idiot. Did you get mixed up with Adults and Children again?

the polar bear's bigger but the grizz wants it more

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

is the gorilla being enraged by a dutch woman??

Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp

redshirt posted:

Polar bears are used to weak rear end prey whereas a grizzly has to fight every day.

Big male polar bears fight each other for territory and to root the womenfolk bears. You best believe they know how to fight.

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TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
pretty sure a gorrilla can hit harder because it is capable of throwing a punch with proper form like a boxer, I also remember the 5 foot thick section of shatter proof glass they had at the san diego zoo years ago, that a gorrilla hit and made the whole thing crack like an unbroken windshield. It was done by the zoo's old silver back who got angry, and it wasn't injured by hitting the glass as hard as it could.

it would make the bears head explode

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