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I am so sick and tired of spending days and days working out a nice ham, going at the ham with my ham machine and really applying myself to constructing a professional ham, for christmas, only to have the goddamned ham patrol come by and destroy everything. Do I have a ham license? wtf do you think, you ham patrol chucklefuck? WOuld I be out here, in the biting cold, working my rear end off on this ham machine, if I hadn't got a ham license? Oh, but is the ham license I have then notarized and updated to concur with ham guidelines 2014??? Of course its loving not. Do I know Mia Hamm, the soccer player who wrote "go for the goal"? Wtf kind of question is that. You're not the Hamm patrol. SHe's not made of ham, that's racist. The ham patrol is a bunch of retards with too much power and I'm sick of it, frankly. It's nearly christmas and I'm out here and my ham is smoking and the ham patrol is harassing me due to racial profiling and soon, christmas will be ruined.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:57
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 14:51 |
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I read it.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:58
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Post good ways to sabotage the ham patrol, in this thread, or gtfo.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:58
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jk, i didn't, gently caress you OP.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:58
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Minimalist Program posted:Post good ways to sabotage the ham patrol, in this thread, or gtfo. Oh poo poo, I'll gtfo.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:58
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1st_Panzer_Div. posted:jk, i didn't, gently caress you OP. I don't care, I ham what I ham.
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Dec 22, 2014 22:59
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Actually I have to post your amazing E/N Humor:Minimalist Program posted:sorry about youre dead baby
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Dec 22, 2014 23:00
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1st_Panzer_Div. posted:Actually I have to post your amazing E/N Humor: IF youre going through my cool post history, be sure to also own me over the fact that I have posted continously in a goon doctor thread about a guy's fissured rear end in a top hat, asking how him how is rear end is doing about once every two weeks for almost a year now.
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Dec 22, 2014 23:02
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1st_Panzer_Div. posted:Actually I have to post your amazing E/N Humor: Lmao, high 5 to MP, only way I'd have chuckled more was if it was the first reply
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Dec 22, 2014 23:04
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im gay
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Dec 22, 2014 23:06
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maybe you should have got a more respectable ham.
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Dec 22, 2014 23:09
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Minimalist Program posted:Post good ways to sabotage the ham patrol, in this thread, or gtfo. spike your ham
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Dec 22, 2014 23:10
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paranoid randroid posted:spike your ham I am going to do this.
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Dec 22, 2014 23:11
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hog is raging?
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Dec 22, 2014 23:17
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Minimalist Program posted:IF youre going through my cool post history, be sure to also own me over the fact that I have posted continously in a goon doctor thread about a guy's fissured rear end in a top hat, asking how him how is rear end is doing about once every two weeks for almost a year now. that is some impressive shitposting commitment
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Dec 22, 2014 23:33
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My grandfather was killed by the ham patrol for runnin' hams across state lines. Now I do it for revenge!
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Dec 22, 2014 23:33
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Big Beef City posted:My grandfather was killed by the ham patrol for runnin' hams across state lines. got one ham underneath my coat and another one in my boot drove a big ol cadillac and bought a new one anytime i pleased and i put more lawmen in the ground than alabama put cottonseeds
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Dec 22, 2014 23:35
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Big Beef City posted:My grandfather was killed by the ham patrol for runnin' hams across state lines. the ham patrol used to be brutal. These days its mostly red tape and pencil pushers, making life hard on small time ham men such as myself....
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Dec 22, 2014 23:39
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There is an art to letting your own thread die. Let the voice of the people be heard.
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Dec 23, 2014 02:00
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I'm in the market for epic randomness this Christmas, and oh boy Ham Patrol is hot number one on my list!!!
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Dec 23, 2014 02:07
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Gaia Forums » GAIA Community » Chatterbox » Well, my christmas ham got owned by ham patrol.
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Dec 23, 2014 02:20
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wow the ham patrol is still up to their old tricks huh? i wondered so but im not surprised considering i one of the unlucky ham artisans who got caught up in the great ham debacle of 2003. good luck fellow ham machinist! ps: my new years ham is almost complete, i re calibrated my ham lathe to take into account that its now past the solstice.
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Dec 23, 2014 02:39
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I am the one that called Ham Patrol.
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Dec 23, 2014 02:40
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I enjoyed the story gently caress yall
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Dec 23, 2014 02:43
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Minimalist Program posted:Post good ways to sabotage the ham patrol, in this thread, or gtfo.
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Dec 23, 2014 03:05
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Eating ham for Christmas 
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Dec 23, 2014 03:10
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swine is the devil's flesh OP
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Dec 23, 2014 03:17
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In 2103, in one of the last great megalopolis, there is only lawless butchery. Cheap meats flood the streets and destroy the minds of the youth. But out of the darkness comes an ancient and solid tradition. Ham Patrol. Not the sandwich you wanted. It's the lunch... You. Needed. Ham Patrol.
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Dec 23, 2014 03:20
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Hate when coppers smacks my hams
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Dec 23, 2014 03:31
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Regulation ham is sliced too thin. I want a nice 3/4 inch chunk, smashed down inside a buttered roll. I want to live.
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Dec 23, 2014 19:17
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Let them smash up your ham then laugh in their face and tell them it wasn't ham at all but it was gammon, then watch them kill themselves instead of facing retribution for smashing gammon instead of ham.
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Dec 23, 2014 20:05
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Put ham in their tailpipe if you know what i mean.
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Dec 23, 2014 20:17
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Dec 23, 2014 20:18
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OP we use a diversion ham to throw off the ham patrol. We buy a cheap walmart type ham machine and some bottom shelf ham parts and let them seize it every year. Never bother to go pick it up so we don't have to pay impound fees. Meanwhile the real ham artistry is going on in a bunker constructed solely for this purpose. We use a P&G 1901 Ham Master with an iron press and copper phalanges. Runs off steam and honey. Hope this helps.
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Dec 23, 2014 20:32
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its still good
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Dec 23, 2014 20:32
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Get out of my ham, government. Audit the ham reserve!
AKA Pseudonym fucked around with this message at 20:46 on Dec 23, 2014 |
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Dec 23, 2014 20:36
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Ratjaculation posted:its still good It's gone, Dad.
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Dec 23, 2014 20:45
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Minimalist Program posted:I am so sick and tired of spending days and days working out a nice ham, going at the ham with my ham machine and really applying myself to constructing a professional ham, for christmas, only to have the goddamned ham patrol come by and destroy everything. Do I have a ham license? wtf do you think, you ham patrol chucklefuck? WOuld I be out here, in the biting cold, working my rear end off on this ham machine, if I hadn't got a ham license? Oh, but is the ham license I have then notarized and updated to concur with ham guidelines 2014??? Of course its loving not. Do I know Mia Hamm, the soccer player who wrote "go for the goal"? Wtf kind of question is that. You're not the Hamm patrol. SHe's not made of ham, that's racist. The ham patrol is a bunch of retards with too much power and I'm sick of it, frankly. It's nearly christmas and I'm out here and my ham is smoking and the ham patrol is harassing me due to racial profiling and soon, christmas will be ruined. Same
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Dec 23, 2014 21:53
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You should shove them inside the ham machine and taunt them about how they're now being turned into ham Alternately, and this will take some time, you start making kosher and halal imitation hams. It's easy enough, you just load it up with a live calf and a few chickens instead of a pig. It won't taste like ham, but that's not the point, the point is that the ham patrol has no jurisdiction over non-pork hams. You'll need to do this for at least 3 months, during which time they WILL grill you heavily about your ham-making activities. Eventually, though, they'll come to think all you ever make is imitation ham. That's when you switch back to pork. Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Dec 23, 2014 |
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Dec 23, 2014 22:01
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 14:51 |
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gently caress THE HAM PATROL
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Dec 23, 2014 22:07
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