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VitalSigns posted:Well I have lost all this weight, so the ladies will want to see my alpha physique. Wifebeater Achievement Unlocked (2 points). Your score is 2/100. It might be a bit too cold for this, but it's only a short walk to the mall - you'll manage. The girls are sure to be impressed, even with the bit of loose skin hanging around. Four minutes later, you are out of breath and slightly shivering as you approach the Starbucks just inside the mall and step up to the counter. The short 20-something brunette with perky br...don't think of her that way shut up shut up shut up gives you a smile as she looks at you. "May I take your order?" >
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Dec 25, 2014 00:27
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VitalSigns posted:Aside from the questionable precision of getting communication ratios down to two significant figures... It doesn't mean the words are unimportant. The words are the only windows we have into someone's thoughts that are direct confirmation. What it does mean is that after a two-year friendship and one romantic cue after another it's no surprise I was confused, and this person was not forward with me and that led to an enormous amount of hurt. They should admit 'aromanticsm' or whatever the hell that get-out-of-jail-free card was from the beginning every time they seek a male friendship or they risk a very confusing and hurtful situation, it turns out.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:28
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CowOnCrack posted:A recent experience in romance has led me to reflect on the nature of romantic relationships and come to some conclusions that I would love to hear other viewpoints on. After staying up far too late last night immersed in the ridiculous tale you are discussing I think think you are being a little disingenuous. A better phrasing might be "A recent experience in stalking someone..." or perhaps "A recent experience in unrequited obsession." Nothing about your situation speaks to romance. I hope this helps. quote:A basic question to ask is: can we objectively decide who is better off with who in a romantic relationship? In our society the answer is not really, we decide whoever we want to be with based on whatever criteria we invent. This means that no case can be made that, for example, if I was longing after someone in what I considered to be a poor, unhealthy relationship for them for their sake, I risk being labeled all sorts of horrible things when it seems to me that my intentions are sincere. No. Oh, I'm sorry that is probably a little too short of a reply. Absolutely not? Definitely in no possible way? I want to be bringing some content to this thread so I don't want to just leave you hanging. To be serious for a moment, no it is not possible to objectively decide who is better off with who in a romantic relationship because people are irrational beings who make decisions, particularly ones of the romantic nature, for a variety of individualistic reasons that have nothing to do with rational objective measurements. What works for me will not for thee and all of that. I suppose if we had some sort of over the top supercomputer filled with all human knowledge it might be able to pair people, but the best we can do at the moment is stupid poo poo like E-harmony rankings. Also it doesn't matter that your intentions were sincere. The reason you got labeled as all sorts of horrible things is not your intentions, it is for your actions. No one is blaming you for what you intended to do, they are blaming you for what you did, which was proposition a woman in a committed relationship and continue to harass her both publicly and privately long after she'd asked you to stop. quote:I would argue that it IS possible to (more or less) objectively evaluate human relationships as long as we have a destination with which to orient them - marriage. I have stated openly that I am a fundamentalist Christian and believe firmly in God's plan for marriage. Without it, I believe human romantic relationships can become chaotic with no direction and clarity. My experience recent experience has taught me that the heartache involved in these things, and the reality of a world where marriage isn't a priority, is very grim and unpleasant. Why is marriage some sort of holy grail to you? I mean I get the whole fundamentalist christian guy, but as a married man I can tell you it really doesn't change anything. The day before I was married to my wife and the day after were fundamentally no different, there wasn't some magical tether that kept us together. I could start cheating on her tomorrow if I wanted, or she could do the reverse. A bunch of people commented on this earlier, but your relationship ramblings seem to have all the hallmarks of young confusion. I had a lot of trouble in my early years dealing with emotions I had for people. I got obsessed with one girl after another whom I utterly 'loved' but looking back it seems comical how little I actually had in common with most of them beyond a few shared interest and some physical attraction. You've worked yourself up into a tizzy which is why you're totally not at all bitter and obsessed even now. quote:[i]The Art of Love This is weird. I hope you understand that writing an essay like this and distributing it to someone who has rejected you is incredibly unhealthy behavior. If I was her boyfriend I'd have kicked the ever loving poo poo out of you under the principle that you seem like you plan to be wearing her skin at some point in the not too distant future. quote:The Nature of Love I know you claim not to be an MRA, but are you aware that this is fundamentally very similar? Your 'understanding' on the nature of men and women is incredibly misogynistic and shallow. I would expect to read this from someone born in 1930, not from someone in the prime of their youth in ttyol 2014. I mean gently caress all of your weird pseudobabble, how does homosexuality fit into any of this? Oh wait you're fundamentalist christian so I guess they are just aberrations who should get hosed and die? quote:From the male point of view, when a woman receives the love and affection of a man, he is happy and fulfilled. In effect, when a woman receives love from a man, she is giving happiness and fulfillment to him. True love is selfless. From the point of view of your reader, I am confused as gently caress. These passages are ultimately pointless because you are repeating the same thing verbatim but switching the gender roles. So what is the point of all of this? Were you doing this for some class assignment you needed to pad out? Or did you think she wouldn't get the point unless you repeated it in a creepy, cultlike fashion? quote:Giving and receiving are actually, in this case, two sides of the same coin. We lack better words to describe it because they are semantically equal. Giving and receiving end up being the same. Uh huh. I'm totally following you man. Like... everything is the same.  quote:This duality is mirrored in the act of intercourse itself. Love is the most powerful force of human nature, pulling two people together in order to become married, have a family, work alongside each other, grow old together, and die in each others' arms. This is what everyone wants, even if it takes a lifetime for them to never realize it. Personally I believe spite is a lot more powerful than affection, since I've seen people do stuff that is actively more harmful to themselves and others in the long run than I have seen people make heroic, loving sacrifice. This essay, for example, shows an alarming amount of spite despite the fact that it is actively hurting the one you 'love' as well as your own educational prospects. quote:Love is a life creating force. Sex is the life creating instrument of this force. Creating life is the ultimate commitment, the ultimate responsibility, and the purpose of life itself. Without it there would be no life. Unless two people are in love (and married), they have no business creating life or making use of this instrument. Whew, thanks for solving the meaning of life ITT. Apparently the purpose of life is to love and have babies ad infinitum. That said, gently caress you and the high horse you rode in on. Five of my close friends are in committed relationships with children, but apparently they had no buisiness having children or having sex because they haven't fulfilled some arbitrary ceremonial requirement that will remind you that you shouldn't try to gently caress their girlfriend. quote:Society has taken the life-giving force and stripped it of the life-giving, the commitment, and even the emotional bonding of a couple in love, leaving only the carnal act of lust and pleasure. Sex is fun dude. My wife and I have sex pretty regular with all manner of birth control because I don't want to have a child right now because I am a responsible adult not a man-child with a crush. I'm sorry that it bothers you that women can have sex without having children and that somehow has ruined the world for you and your desire to have them as baby making property. quote:Sex should only take place in a married, full commitment, with the purpose of creating or at least accepting the chance of creating life (a family). Even if we have the means to avoid that responsibility with our clever tools, our brains and our bodies haven't forgotten what sex means. Love is the force of nature, and sex is the instrument. By separating the two, we have introduced endless pain and woe into our hearts, minds, and souls. So again, gently caress the gays? And apparently gently caress me as well (or don't? I'm confused). Out of curiosity I'm sort of confused about what parts here are coming from your scripture and what are from your personal hangups. I mean I get that the bible isn't exactly hyped on pre-marital sex but you seem to be injecting a whole bunch of your personal crazy here. Why is it that people in a loving relationship cannot have sex without the possibility of having children? My wife is going to school and a pregnancy at this point would really gently caress up her chances of getting the education she wants and alter our family's ability to succeed, so should we just not have sex? Why? Why should I deny myself the ability to express my love physically simply because I'm not trying to have a child. Do you just generally hate birth control? Do condoms make you just oh so mad? quote:Sex without love is an abomination. Boring and awkward sometime, sure. But an abomination? Go get laid dude, it'll help clear your head. quote:Communicating Love What? So I'm trying to persuade someone when I care about them? Get help. quote:All communication is rhetorical, in other words, all communication both verbal and nonverbal contains persuasive power. While this is technically true it rather makes the word rhetoric lose all meaning if all communication is rhetorical. quote:Romance is, if you want to call it a game (a pathetic, inadequate word for something so powerful and mysterious in my opinion), is a cooperative game where we are all trying to find the person we will be happiest with. Compatibility is the key, because who we are compatible with is who we will fall in love the easiest with and enjoy life with, thus creating a harmonious foundation for a family. No you goony gently caress, romance is not a game. Jesus christ it is no wonder this girl is creeped out by you when you approach human emotion like it is some sort of numerical equation where you can parse out the best proverbial mate to bare your undoubtedly numerous children. Romance is human interaction. The most romantic interaction I ever had with a woman was sitting in a dark room watching TV holding hands and realizing that she actually did like me. Its not super mario brothers it is just people being weird, irrational people. quote:The key to success in the world of romance is for both men and women to engage in open, honest communication about their feelings. Ooh! Like how that girl told you that she was in a years long committed relationship and you somehow misinterpreted it as "You should admit all your romantic inclinations to me!" or how "I think we could still be friends but I don't like you that way and I am dating someone else" was clearly code for "Please talk about how you want to marry me". I can honestly see how you might confuse "Keep away from me you creepy gently caress" with "Please send me insulting emails." One key to communication is listening. Its hearing what the other person has to say not what you want to hear. It is picking up on signals that are sent rather than misinterpreting them. quote:Everything is an act of communication - how much time you spend with someone, how much you come to rely on their support (emotional, financial, logistical, or otherwise), how much you talk to them (regardless of content), how you act around them and what gestures you use, as well as what you say to them, are all cues that the romantic "computer" inside our brain receives as input to decide if affection and love is being communicated. This woman does not owe you sex and marriage because you kept agreeing to give her rides places. Sorry, I've been waiting to post that since I read your posts last night. I have relied plenty on my former roommate, we purchased a house together as an invention, we frequently finish jokes or sentences that one another start because we have been friends for the better part of a decade. I do not want to have a romantic relationship with him, and we both understand that this is the case because neither of us are gay. The fact that your biological computer interprets a female depending on you as a good male friend as a romantic desire is a problem with your lovely romantic computer, not with her. And again, the problem was not with her behavior but with how you acted on it. Even if she was sending you romantic signals (which she wasn't) there were ways for you to behave that did not require you to be sperglord mcgee. quote:Because 93% of communication is nonverbal according to a UCLA study, that means only 7% of communication is considered 'valid' even though our romantic minds make use of the other 93%. That means the room for error is enormous in the world of relationships without openness and honesty between men and women about the other ways we communicate. Why are you ultimately not responsible for any of your failure to read her signals. She clearly wasn't interested in you, so why do you think that she was sending out signals indicating the opposite? Because she is a manipulative whore? But surely you would not have fallen for such a woman. quote:For example, if there is a woman who says she likes a guy as a 'friend', but then frequently spends time with him and relies on him for emotional support, logistical support, and even financial support, her words don't match the other (up to) 93% of her rhetoric. If this is willful dishonesty on her part, this is emotional predation, also known sometimes as the "friendzone". This is a form of harassing men. gently caress you, you misogynistic piece of human garbage. To refer you to my above point, at many times in our friendship I have relied on my friend Tyson for emotional, logistical and even financial support while spending tons of time with him. By your logic I was exploting the poo poo out of him since he must have interpreted that as me wanting to gently caress his brains out and deciding that it was the perfect way to make him dependant on him. This is of course, absurd. Friends rely on friends do do things for them because that is the nature of friendship. If it was annoying you that you were constantly providing support for your friend you should have said something. If it bothered you that you were spending a lot of time with someone you were not dating, then you should have said something since you were clearly not her friend. She is not responsible for the fact that you cannot differentiate friendship from attraction. quote:There is no such thing as the 'friendzone', only men and women submitting to willful dishonesty. Concepts invented on 90's television rarely have any basis in reality. Then why did you reference it above in an almost textbook definition you sperglord? quote:The Formula of Happiness and Fulfillment Wow. Just wow. So to be clear: Man + Woman + Friendship = Pointless Man + Man + Love = Pointless Man + Woman + Love + Infertility = Pointless Do you want me to go on about how hosed up your worldview is? It is just absurd that you think that everything must boil down to marriage and children or it is ultimately without worth. I can't at all see why this quote:Quality Yeah, gently caress those people who just want to live a life, or who aren't sure about themselves. I mean I really hate my sister something fierce since she dated a guy for seven years but never sealed the deal and pumped out babies like god intended. quote:There are two kinds of men on opposite ends of the "quality" spectrum. And of course you're Man 1 and her boyfriend is Man 2. Because he couldn't possibly have any redeeming qualities that you are incapable of seeing through what I can only imagine is a haze of barely constrained rage and self-hatred. She couldn't possibily love him because he is better looking than you, or more charming, or funnier, or no doubt better in bed. Or what about me? I consider myself pretty lustful (Sorry TMI) and I dated a lot of women before I got married. But I'm not Lazy, or Unethical, or immature or selfish. Its almost as if a binary system for determining whether someone is good or bad is something a literal angry child would develop. quote:There are two kinds of women on opposite ends of the "quality" spectrum. Why were you obsessed with a woman who was lazy, unethical, irresponsible, immature, lusting and selfish? What the gently caress is wrong with you that you see a woman with all of those qualities and you go "Man, I ought to go after that woman instead of one of the various other women around." I ask because those are pretty obvious catagories of failure. You'd think you'd have noticed that she was lazy and irrresposinble the moment that you tried doing classwork with her, but you said that you always worked so well together. Could it be that you're just making all of this up in a way to justify your deep seated pain and anger at being rejected by someone? No... no that couldn't be it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdozkeNqNQk quote:Possible Formulas Unless one of them is infertile. Then they can't have children and a happy marriage. quote:Formula 2: Man 1 (Good) + Woman 2 (Bad) Okay, realtalk for a moment. Do you know what you are doing with the bolded section here? Its called dehumanization. You know that the person you're talking about isn't an awful waste of life, indeed you probably still feel what you call 'love' and affection towards her. This is causing you a huge cognitive dissonance where you are uncomfortable with the idea that you are so perfect, yet you got rejected. The only way you can reconcile your failure is by calling her names, by saying that she is a monster, that she is a waste of life and decietful. This is not healthy behavior. You said in the previous thread that you are getting therepy and I urge you to continue it and to try and work through it since this behavior is ultimately going to cause you nothing but harm. I know from experience. When I was twenty two I started dating a girl for about six months and things were going... well. But the problem was that I was a pretty lovely boyfriend, I messed up on her birthday supper and the gift to get her, and I ultimately really upset her and we broke up. She started dating one of my closest friends almost immediately thereafter and for years I had to try and justify it to myself that she must have been cheating on me the whole time, that we broke up because of that rear end in a top hat not because I was a terrible boyfriend. Because no one wants to think of themselves as terrible. You are terrible. The problem in this whole thing is you. Fix yourself and your life will get easier. That all said, you are (or were) harassing her. You misinterpreted signals as what you wanted to see, and when you finally acted on those incorrect signals she shut you down. I suspect she shut you down rather gently and was put in an awkward position because of your entwined school work. You are a friend and she didn't want to lose that. Then you started acting weird and straight up harassing her with poo poo like this essay. Stop doing that you creepy fucker. quote:Formula 2: Woman 1 (Good) + Man 2 (Bad) I'm sorry, that don't belong to him? Are you implying that in Formula 1 (also your formulas are poorly numbered) the woman belongs to the man? Because that is really hosed up. A woman is allowed to have sex with whomever she choses to you misogynist. quote:Formula 2: Woman 2 (Bad) + Man 2 (Bad) People who aren't like me are subhuman - CowonCrack 2014. quote:Conclusion Does it bother you at all that your argument is essentially the same as a rapist? Well her eyes said yes even as her mouth repeatedly and in no-uncertain terms screamed oh gently caress no. Even if you are right in that 93% of communication is non-verbal that does not mean what you think it means. Much of non-verbal communication is unconscious responses, whereas actual verbal responses are entirely conscious. If I say that I am dating someone the that should way far more heavily in your calculation that the fact I ask you to drive me somewhere. quote:What is friendship you ask? Friendship is merely the respectful equilibrium between two people who are not yet romantically interested in each other. Where friendship ends and romance begins is a naturally nebulous barrier between Men and Women. There will always be difficulty until the man or the woman is happily married and in a full commitment. Where that equilibrium exists rests on the calculations of compatibility that our romantic minds make, and is always subject to change as certain people work on being better people and others let their standards for themselves slide. Jesus, do you just have no friends at all? Are women just not allowed to have male friends in CowonCrack land until they are married? Get help. Lots of it. quote:After all, if you are a man, would you let a lazy, irresponsible woman be the mother of your child? If I loved that person? Absolutely. quote:Obviously, this essay is a work of rhetoric that uses extremes and balanced language to make a point. It reflects my point of view in that time and space when and where I had a bit of an axe to grind. The main point of the essay is that 'friendzone' is a bunk concept - someone who spends a lot of time with you, whether or not they have a boyfriend, is clearly communicating affection and a desire to be near you. This is a perfectly legitimate grounds to believe a romantic relationship is possible and there is nothing wrong with seeking that as long as you are respectful and prepared to deal with the consequences of being rejected. I also believe that a boyfriend is not something I can respect too much - I believe in courting, and eventually marriage, which gives me legitimate grounds for doing what I did. I did eventually let this person go, although of course there was some drama, and of course I have some sour feelings that I have to process, but it was kept to a minimum by us both and in time I am confident we can forgive each other (in big part because we are both Christian). The complaint people have with you is not that you got your signals crossed and figured "This girl hangs out with me a lot, maybe we should hang out." I have no doubt that this is not her problem with you either. Your behavior when you decided to act on those mistaken interpretations was the problem. For the record, I don't think someone dating is necessarily a dealbreaker. That girl I told you about above, the one who's hand I held in a darkened room? She was dating someone, and we ultimately spent half a decade in a weird series of flings that never came together properly because one of us was always dating while the other was single. It is absolutely a lovely thing to do to cheat on your boyfriend, but when it comes to romantic love I can understand the desire to act out even knowing that the other person is 'taken'. I don't fault you for that. What we fault you for is your behavior. I simply do not believe that you were as polite or gentle about it as you pretend, particularly in light of things like this essay or your creepy stalker e-mails. I believe that you approached this woman and she shut you down gently, but that driven by emotion you really didn't want to take no for an answer, or that you took no very, very badly. As Who What Now asked, I'd be curious to know what your single greatest number of sobbing voicemails or creepy texts was in one night, because your behavior and understanding of women as talked about in this thread is really unhealthy. Edit: Wow, you got the full Jrodefeld treatment, complete with there being four full pages of posts before my breakdown of your crazy was finished.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:28
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TheSpookyDanger posted:wait OP what do you even think that sex is like? I bet five bucks that OP thinks sex is like a man and a women are together on their wedding night and then they take their clothes off and then a muscular black dude comes in and fucks the woman.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:29
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CowOnCrack posted:It doesn't mean the words are unimportant. The words are the only windows we have into someone's thoughts that are direct confirmation. What it does mean is that after a two-year friendship and one romantic cue after another it's no surprise I was confused, and this person was not forward with me and that led to an enormous amount of hurt. Were you forward with her? If you detected a discrepancy in her conscious verbal communication and what you
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Dec 25, 2014 00:30
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whoever keeps buying his red text av please keep it up because he's already dropped $20 in under an hour to maintain his non-existent e-pride, even after posting his real name
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Dec 25, 2014 00:31
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you know op you convinced me, every single other person in the world is crazy and you are in fact the sane one. well played you sure got all of us. way to stand up to the neurotypicals for justice, i salute you in your quest to normalize medieval gender and sexuality and attitudes w/r/t rape (it isn't real, it's just dumb bitches not understanding they want my D even if their words betray them)
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Dec 25, 2014 00:34
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CowOnCrack posted:This person admitted to me they have issues. She said she was 'aromantic' and had trouble understanding romantic cues, and she's had major issues in the past leading guys on. There is no doubt in my mind this person is poorly functioning in their own romantic life and probably shouldn't be in a relationship at all. No that is pretty much exactly how it works. You gently caress up and learn from it and you gently caress up and learn from it or the other person fucks up and you still learn from it. Romance isn't a formula you weirdo. Someone who isn't this guy tell me about six sigma
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Dec 25, 2014 00:35
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Cerebral Bore posted:I bet five bucks that OP thinks sex is like a man and a women are together on their wedding night and then they take their clothes off and then a muscular black dude comes in and fucks the woman. Wait that's not what sex is?
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Dec 25, 2014 00:36
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Adar posted:Wifebeater Achievement Unlocked (2 points). Your score is 2/100. >check BIBLICAL KNOWLEDGE for correct beverage choice
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Dec 25, 2014 00:36
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quote:The Formula of Happiness and Fulfillment  Rodatose fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Dec 25, 2014 |
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Dec 25, 2014 00:36
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only a fag would have sex with a woman
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Dec 25, 2014 00:36
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Literally The Worst posted:No that is pretty much exactly how it works. You gently caress up and learn from it and you gently caress up and learn from it or the other person fucks up and you still learn from it. Romance isn't a formula you weirdo. CowOnCrack posted:Hah, I will defend my actions to the end because they were completely justified. Please, keep testing me.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:37
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Jagchosis posted:Wait that's not what sex is? Of course that's what sex is ya dingus. OP has this poo poo figured out, haven't you been paying attention at all?
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Dec 25, 2014 00:37
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to determine if you should have a relationship and get married you need to roll 4d20 and consult the table of probabilities chart to see whether it will be a happy marriage or an abusive one and if you roll trips 20 you know you have 6-sigma compatibility and then can sex her whenever you want and it cant be rape. pretty sure that covers OPs marriage statistics though he may have an excel file with more potential outcomes
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Dec 25, 2014 00:39
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I have two very god friends that have an open relationship and no plans to every get married despite wanting to be together until they die. Also they never, ever want kids. Please explain in as many words as possible all the ways this is wrong. I mean I know sex is an abomination and that they are engaged in a protracted spiritual war with each other due to the lack of procreation, but what else.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:39
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Caros posted:After staying up far too late last night immersed in the ridiculous tale you are discussing I think think you are being a little disingenuous. A better phrasing might be "A recent experience in stalking someone..." or perhaps "A recent experience in unrequited obsession." Nothing about your situation speaks to romance. I hope this helps. Assuming things you don't know. quote:To be serious for a moment, no it is not possible to objectively decide who is better off with who in a romantic relationship because people are irrational beings who make decisions, particularly ones of the romantic nature, for a variety of individualistic reasons that have nothing to do with rational objective measurements. What works for me will not for thee and all of that. I suppose if we had some sort of over the top supercomputer filled with all human knowledge it might be able to pair people, but the best we can do at the moment is stupid poo poo like E-harmony rankings. I believe there is such a thing as compatibility. We learn to love from our families and these affects the way we love in our relationships. Certain arrangements work better than others. Not to mention, having common ground and interests is important if you are going to spend the rest of your lives together. These things create the most harmonious conditions for a happy family life. quote:Also it doesn't matter that your intentions were sincere. The reason you got labeled as all sorts of horrible things is not your intentions, it is for your actions. No one is blaming you for what you intended to do, they are blaming you for what you did, which was proposition a woman in a committed relationship and continue to harass her both publicly and privately long after she'd asked you to stop. You have no idea what the details of the situation were. I never harassed them. My case for their harassment of me was very well documented. I handled it and let it go. quote:Why is marriage some sort of holy grail to you? I mean I get the whole fundamentalist christian guy, but as a married man I can tell you it really doesn't change anything. The day before I was married to my wife and the day after were fundamentally no different, there wasn't some magical tether that kept us together. I could start cheating on her tomorrow if I wanted, or she could do the reverse. And you call that marriage? Wow. I pity you. quote:A bunch of people commented on this earlier, but your relationship ramblings seem to have all the hallmarks of young confusion. I had a lot of trouble in my early years dealing with emotions I had for people. I got obsessed with one girl after another whom I utterly 'loved' but looking back it seems comical how little I actually had in common with most of them beyond a few shared interest and some physical attraction. You've worked yourself up into a tizzy which is why you're totally not at all bitter and obsessed even now. Yes, and you made a mistake because you weren't seeking marriage. Myself and this person had an enormous amount in common and that's why we were friends for nearly two years before I told her i liked her. There was zero problems in our 'friendship' until someone brought up romance. quote:This is weird. I hope you understand that writing an essay like this and distributing it to someone who has rejected you is incredibly unhealthy behavior. If I was her boyfriend I'd have kicked the ever loving poo poo out of you under the principle that you seem like you plan to be wearing her skin at some point in the not too distant future. It was necessary, because this person freaked out and declared I could no longer talk to them and we needed to work together in school in order to perform for our final concert. I distributed this essay to some other students and it ended up in her hands, which led her to meet with me and the choir director and she agreed to drop it until the end of the semester. quote:I know you claim not to be an MRA, but are you aware that this is fundamentally very similar? Your 'understanding' on the nature of men and women is incredibly misogynistic and shallow. I would expect to read this from someone born in 1930, not from someone in the prime of their youth in ttyol 2014. I mean gently caress all of your weird pseudobabble, how does homosexuality fit into any of this? Oh wait you're fundamentalist christian so I guess they are just aberrations who should get hosed and die? I believe in a happy equilibrium between Men and Women. I believe they are different and complimentary in romance, but otherwise equal in every other aspect. I believe women can work and earn a living for example and should be treated equally in the workplace. I would be happy to explain more of my views and why I am not a terrorist, but rather someone who is trying to synthesize and old valuable idea with new more modern ideas. quote:Personally I believe spite is a lot more powerful than affection, since I've seen people do stuff that is actively more harmful to themselves and others in the long run than I have seen people make heroic, loving sacrifice. This essay, for example, shows an alarming amount of spite despite the fact that it is actively hurting the one you 'love' as well as your own educational prospects. The spite wasn't out of jealousy or anger as much as just making my point about what I wanted. It was a sanity check for myself to flesh out exactly what it is I am looking for in romance. quote:That said, gently caress you and the high horse you rode in on. Five of my close friends are in committed relationships with children, but apparently they had no buisiness having children or having sex because they haven't fulfilled some arbitrary ceremonial requirement that will remind you that you shouldn't try to gently caress their girlfriend. Whatever it is they have, it resembles marriage. Cool with me. quote:Sex is fun dude. My wife and I have sex pretty regular with all manner of birth control because I don't want to have a child right now because I am a responsible adult not a man-child with a crush. I'm sorry that it bothers you that women can have sex without having children and that somehow has ruined the world for you and your desire to have them as baby making property. I think sex for emotional and even pleasurable reasons in a committed relationship is fine. I do feel that without the possibility at least of children, there is something missing, but birth control can be a responsibly used tool. quote:Out of curiosity I'm sort of confused about what parts here are coming from your scripture and what are from your personal hangups. I mean I get that the bible isn't exactly hyped on pre-marital sex but you seem to be injecting a whole bunch of your personal crazy here. Why is it that people in a loving relationship cannot have sex without the possibility of having children? My wife is going to school and a pregnancy at this point would really gently caress up her chances of getting the education she wants and alter our family's ability to succeed, so should we just not have sex? Why? Why should I deny myself the ability to express my love physically simply because I'm not trying to have a child. It's my personal experience confirming what is stated in scripture - there is an optimal to orient ourselves towards. quote:No you goony gently caress, romance is not a game. Jesus christ it is no wonder this girl is creeped out by you when you approach human emotion like it is some sort of numerical equation where you can parse out the best proverbial mate to bare your undoubtedly numerous children. I don't think it's a game either, which is what I wrote actually. quote:Ooh! Like how that girl told you that she was in a years long committed relationship and you somehow misinterpreted it as "You should admit all your romantic inclinations to me!" or how "I think we could still be friends but I don't like you that way and I am dating someone else" was clearly code for "Please talk about how you want to marry me". I can honestly see how you might confuse "Keep away from me you creepy gently caress" with "Please send me insulting emails." Didn't do any of these things, and you don't know the details. quote:One key to communication is listening. Its hearing what the other person has to say not what you want to hear. It is picking up on signals that are sent rather than misinterpreting them. Yes, and the potential for mis-communication is enormous if people aren't forward with their feelings and differences, such as 'aromanticism.' quote:Why are you ultimately not responsible for any of your failure to read her signals. She clearly wasn't interested in you, so why do you think that she was sending out signals indicating the opposite? Because she is a manipulative whore? But surely you would not have fallen for such a woman. I am responsible for that, but so is she. It's a two-way street. Aromanticism is not a get out of jail free card (which this woman thinks she is entitled to every time this happens to her) and her flipping out and trying to hurt me was her issue, not mine. quote:Wow. Just wow. So to be clear: Replace pointless with "not ideal, and some things are vastly better than others." It's effective rhetoric. quote:Why were you obsessed with a woman who was lazy, unethical, irresponsible, immature, lusting and selfish? What the gently caress is wrong with you that you see a woman with all of those qualities and you go "Man, I ought to go after that woman instead of one of the various other women around." I ask because those are pretty obvious catagories of failure. You'd think you'd have noticed that she was lazy and irrresposinble the moment that you tried doing classwork with her, but you said that you always worked so well together. That was my mistake, and I learned from it. I was focusing only on compatibility and not carefully examining her romantic life. quote:Okay, realtalk for a moment. Do you know what you are doing with the bolded section here? Its called dehumanization. You know that the person you're talking about isn't an awful waste of life, indeed you probably still feel what you call 'love' and affection towards her. This is causing you a huge cognitive dissonance where you are uncomfortable with the idea that you are so perfect, yet you got rejected. The only way you can reconcile your failure is by calling her names, by saying that she is a monster, that she is a waste of life and decietful. I do have feelings, and sometimes they can be spiteful. quote:This is not healthy behavior. You said in the previous thread that you are getting therepy and I urge you to continue it and to try and work through it since this behavior is ultimately going to cause you nothing but harm. I know from experience. I feel fine now. It was a learning experience. I am seeking help and will continue to seek help as needed. quote:Does it bother you at all that your argument is essentially the same as a rapist? Well her eyes said yes even as her mouth repeatedly and in no-uncertain terms screamed oh gently caress no. Even if you are right in that 93% of communication is non-verbal that does not mean what you think it means. Much of non-verbal communication is unconscious responses, whereas actual verbal responses are entirely conscious. If I say that I am dating someone the that should way far more heavily in your calculation that the fact I ask you to drive me somewhere. That makes it all the more effective. Using extremes like this is effective rhetoric. quote:Jesus, do you just have no friends at all? Are women just not allowed to have male friends in CowonCrack land until they are married? Get help. Lots of it. My best friend since childhood is happily married. quote:The complaint people have with you is not that you got your signals crossed and figured "This girl hangs out with me a lot, maybe we should hang out." I have no doubt that this is not her problem with you either. Your behavior when you decided to act on those mistaken interpretations was the problem. I recognize the faults in my behavior, and hers. Thank you for actually reading the essay and sharing your views on it. CowOnCrack fucked around with this message at 00:47 on Dec 25, 2014 |
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Dec 25, 2014 00:43
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Answer my question next. Also i'm loving dying over here at you, a person that has admitted to never having been in a relationship, telling another that their marriage is a sham. You're gonna have a real rough time if you ever manage to get married.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:45
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CowOnCrack posted:And you call that marriage? Wow. I pity you. drat it feels good to read this read
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Dec 25, 2014 00:45
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Literally The Worst posted:No that is pretty much exactly how it works. You gently caress up and learn from it and you gently caress up and learn from it or the other person fucks up and you still learn from it. Romance isn't a formula you weirdo. No, I'm really not interested in this happening again. I am very sorry this ruined such a great friendship and I sincerely hope we can forgive each other. I doubt we will ever be friends again and it's probably best we never see each other again. The outstanding issue is that this person and I still have common musical commitments and have to learn to be around each other.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:45
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just so you know even in biological "pass on the genes is all that matters" theory, it's not just about male + female passing on genes. You'd have to ignore animals' tendencies to take part in self-sacrificing behavior to help those that are similar to them. friends helpin' friends means biological success for your friends and the chance that people who are at least similar to you get their genes passed on. (a longer read is this, and the idea of sacrifice for group success is pretty relevant when you consider the topic that this came from was religion) also you're imposing monogamous relationships as the only biologically viable model of successfully raising species which is like really wrong when you compare it to the many types of not just regular animal parenting models but also human ones too.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:46
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CowOnCrack posted:No, I'm really not interested in this happening again. I am very sorry this ruined such a great friendship and I sincerely hope we can forgive each other. she has nothing to apologize for, you stupid mental fuckup piece of poo poo
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Dec 25, 2014 00:47
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kustomkarkommando posted:>check BIBLICAL KNOWLEDGE for correct beverage choice You order a cappuccino and pick up a BLT from the sandwich cooler. The violation of the Old Testament feels all the sweeter since it's permitted by the New. As you finish your drink, you feel calmer. You are ready to move on. Off to the left of the mall you see a small ice skating rink, with many young couples and a few kids skating around an artificial tree. On the right there is a sporting goods store, a Games Workshop and two clothing stores. The restrooms are down the hallway in front of you. Voting ends whenever I come back from the shower or this thread is gassed. >
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Dec 25, 2014 00:50
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Does your therapist think this thread is a good idea or is he running around somewhere firing tranquilliser darts into bushes?
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Dec 25, 2014 00:53
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Rodatose posted:just so you know even in biological "pass on the genes is all that matters" theory, it's not just about male + female passing on genes. You'd have to ignore animals' tendencies to take part in self-sacrificing behavior to help those that are similar to them. friends helpin' friends means biological success for your friends and the chance that people who are at least similar to you get their genes passed on. (a longer read is this, and the idea of sacrifice for group success is pretty relevant when you consider the topic that this came from was religion) That's interesting, and perhaps another foundation for a close friendship. I don't disagree there are many foundations for a friendship, but I do believe that friendship between men and women carries a particular difficulty that revolves around what I was discussing in my essay. Without clear communication between the two people they can't know what biological tendency is leading them on. As far as other models for parenting, what are you proposing besides what I believe is ideal? nopantsjack posted:Does your therapist think this thread is a good idea or is he running around somewhere firing tranquilliser darts into bushes? Waiting for the moment this thread becomes about what I'm saying rather than criticizing me for the inspiration of what I am saying. It's getting really old.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:53
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Adar posted:You order a cappuccino and pick up a BLT from the sandwich cooler. The violation of the Old Testament feels all the sweeter since it's permitted by the New. >I wanna go to the games workshop now that iv lost weight so i can alpha all over all the bretonnian betalords hanging out there. One of them even seems to have his arm around a woman and I don't understand at all what this is meant to signify in the absence of a ring.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:54
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Effort not being met with effort isn't a good thing, but I'm busy today so try to forgive it this once. You styled your essay on a scientific paper, but it breaks a number of rules that the scientific method sets out. The biggest one would be that you make assumptions. Now I hate to be the rear end that says you need to prove "Love is a life creating force" or "Sex without love is an abomination" and so on, but it needs to be done for every single thing your point relies on. Original research isn't necessary, referencing sourced research (not a plagiarism issue, it needs to be sourced so that the experiment you reference can be repeated and verified) is fine. Feels mean to stop there, but it's enough for your paper to be thrown out by any decent academic.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:55
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nopantsjack posted:>I wanna go to the games workshop now that iv lost weight so i can alpha all over all the bretonnian betalords hanging out there. One of them even seems to have his arm around a woman and I don't understand at all what this is meant to signify in the absence of a ring. I actually laughed at this. Well done. This is sort of the distilled essence of how I felt. Spooky Hyena posted:Effort not being met with effort isn't a good thing, but I'm busy today so try to forgive it this once. You styled your essay on a scientific paper, but it breaks a number of rules that the scientific method sets out. The biggest one would be that you make assumptions. Now I hate to be the rear end that says you need to prove "Love is a life creating force" or "Sex without love is an abomination" and so on, but it needs to be done for every single thing your point relies on. Original research isn't necessary, referencing sourced research (not a plagiarism issue, it needs to be sourced so that the experiment you reference can be repeated and verified) is fine. Feels mean to stop there, but it's enough for your paper to be thrown out by any decent academic. Of course it would be. This whole concept I am arguing needs a lot more work and data obviously. But this is the beginning of that exploration. And actually it was a rhetorical essay, not truly a scientific paper.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:56
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CowOnCrack posted:That's interesting, and perhaps another foundation for a close friendship. I don't disagree there are many foundations for a friendship, but I do believe that friendship between men and women carries a particular difficulty that revolves around what I was discussing in my essay. Without clear communication between the two people they can't know what biological tendency is leading them on. no one gives a poo poo about what you're saying because it's meaningless garbage written by a psycho. making fun of you for being that psycho is way more entertaining because you're still under the delusion anyone here thinks you're not a huge loving baby with the emotions of a 13 year old boy who got turned down for winter formal by a girl who he never talked to and then blames her for it
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Dec 25, 2014 00:56
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CowOnCrack posted:
Did you ever wonder if maybe that, say, in the case of the entire internet versus you, that meant that there was something wrong with where you are coming from here? I'll level that I never read your stupid essay because it looked wicked boring and you've never been in a relationship, sorry. I'd also not bother to read a 17 year old whose never gone out of the house's thread about how everyone should go skydiving.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:57
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OP cites EVE Online in his resume as relevant experience for IT work. lmbo e: holy poo poo i gets better he loving cites being in high school model UN 15 years ago on his resume as an accomplishment pffffftahahahaha
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Dec 25, 2014 00:59
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CowOnCrack posted:I actually laughed at this. Well done. This is sort of the distilled essence of how I felt. We've all been there man, thats why we're coming down so hard on you. Cause we've all been that stupid idiot freaking out in front of a nonplussed woman. Hell, I fell in love with and confessed to a girl who in retrospect I didn't even really fancy. ... I didn't write her an essay though, I fumed for a while then got over it when I realised how it looked from her perspective.
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Dec 25, 2014 00:59
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Adar posted:You order a cappuccino and pick up a BLT from the sandwich cooler. The violation of the Old Testament feels all the sweeter since it's permitted by the New. >Look for a hunting section through the window of the sporting goods store
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Dec 25, 2014 01:00
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nopantsjack posted:Did you ever wonder if maybe that, say, in the case of the entire internet versus you, that meant that there was something wrong with where you are coming from here? Never occurred to me, and until I actually am convinced of it, it won't. At the end of the day, I have never given a gently caress about what anyone thinks of me in my life except the people I respect and care about. Also, the internet makes you stupid. I have confidence in my beliefs. wheez the roux posted:
Glad you typed my name into google, you stalker you. Are you looking for a stable committed relationship? I am not interested. While you are at it, check out the Chopin Nocturne I recorded on YouTube. CowOnCrack fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Dec 25, 2014 |
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Dec 25, 2014 01:00
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TheSpookyDanger posted:I have two very god friends that have an open relationship and no plans to every get married despite wanting to be together until they die. Also they never, ever want kids. Please explain in as many words as possible all the ways this is wrong. I mean I know sex is an abomination and that they are engaged in a protracted spiritual war with each other due to the lack of procreation, but what else. Also do you really think it's a good plan to go through life disregarding what other people say just because they Sloppy Milkshake fucked around with this message at 01:06 on Dec 25, 2014 |
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Dec 25, 2014 01:03
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CowOnCrack posted:Glad you typed my name into google, you stalker you. Are you looking for a stable committed relationship? I am not interested. Hey, I don't see a ring around your finger so how are we supposed to know? Also your nonverbal communication indicates that you actually want it.
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Dec 25, 2014 01:03
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CowOnCrack posted:Never occurred to me, and until I actually am convinced of it, it won't. At the end of the day, I have never given a gently caress about what anyone thinks of me in my life except the people I respect and care about. Also, the internet makes you stupid. I have confidence in my beliefs. it's not our fault you posted your manifesto with your full name on it in this very thread but i'm not even linking it to anyone else not did i quote your name for others to be able to find it. knowing that you view playing EVE and doing high school model UN 15 years ago as achievements worthy of being on your resume explains a lot more than your word salad ever could Cerebral Bore posted:Also your nonverbal communication indicates that you actually want it.
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Dec 25, 2014 01:06
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Literally The Worst posted:Someone who isn't this guy tell me about six sigma It's a term from statistics that he's inappropriately using to quantify an unquantifiable (and non-reciprocated obviously) feeling of his. Sigma is the street name for "standard deviation". Six sigma compatibility would mean he thinks her bonded-mate potential is six standard deviations above the mean of womankind is, or I guess that he expects she's a better match for him than 99.99966% of all females on earth. You can see why he's upset, because there are only 11,900 women on the whole planet as good as she.
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Dec 25, 2014 01:07
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My mom is apparently a firm believer in CowCrack's idea that marriage is the key to creating a harmonious relationship. She's been married four times now. My parent's divorce made an incredible improvement in the lives of my father and me and our relationship as father and son. Meanwhile, my father and stepmom are probably never going to get married and they've been staying strong for almost 7 years now. My dad's far happier now than he ever was married.
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Dec 25, 2014 01:07
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TheSpookyDanger posted:I have two very god friends that have an open relationship and no plans to every get married despite wanting to be together until they die. Also they never, ever want kids. Please explain in as many words as possible all the ways this is wrong. I mean I know sex is an abomination and that they are engaged in a protracted spiritual war with each other due to the lack of procreation, but what else. Could be worse. They would be happier with a family, but for now they are only focused on themselves and their happiness which means they wash their hands of responsibility for the next generation. But at least they love each other and can be productive members of society with each others' emotional support. Cerebral Bore posted:Hey, I don't see a ring around your finger so how are we supposed to know? Also your nonverbal communication indicates that you actually want it. But you can't see me!
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Dec 25, 2014 01:07
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