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Every month it has sex secrets. Those secrets always boil down to "Touch him in the gooch." It's not good.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:04
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What was his name OP?
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Dec 27, 2014 17:04
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One of their sex tips was to put a donut around his dick and then eat it off.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:04
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FactsAreUseless posted:One of their sex tips was to put a donut around his dick and then eat it off. Then put a donut hole in his anus and eat that off.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:05
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Take this quiz to find out if your man is cheating on u Your fall flannel fashion guide
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Dec 27, 2014 17:08
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A magazine by women, for women, focused entirely on shaming women into buying clothing and cosmetics.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:14
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I like to read this magazine, as it gives me realistic insights into how ordinary women think.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:14
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Cosmopolitan is going to be doing serious in-depth political coverage for women in their magazine now, and that's not a joke at all, it's a real thing that is happening.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:14
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7 tips to shave the gunk off your junk!
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Dec 27, 2014 17:22
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FactsAreUseless posted:Cosmopolitan is going to be doing serious in-depth political coverage for women in their magazine now, and that's not a joke at all, it's a real thing that is happening. 
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Dec 27, 2014 17:24
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When he's least expecting it, tell your man you need some change. Then stick your hand in his pocket and start rubbing his penis through the fabric, pretending that you're really digging around for that coinage you need. When he's good and hard, whisper something Mae West-ish in his ear like, "Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" He'll practically bust out of his pants.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:24
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You know how hotel sex is always extra-hot? Try re-creating that away-from-home atmosphere in your own bedroom. First, purge your room of any family photos or office equipment. Then buy sheets with the highest threads-per-inch count you can find (look for 200 and above), which feel supersilky to the touch without the cheesiness of satin. Invest in some thick, fluffy robes to lounge around in. And for the ultimate hotel-style indulgence, set up a tray of champagne and finger foods to savor after you make love. You'll both feel like you're on an incredible vacation from the rest of the world.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:25
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actually gently caress it everyone watch this video before they post more in this thread https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaKLD3ugJYA
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Dec 27, 2014 17:26
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQnUTgLssI
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Dec 27, 2014 17:26
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Let's just not talk about compolitan... seems easy
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Dec 27, 2014 17:26
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I love pretending my bedroom is a fake hotel, it makes me very erect, sexually.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:27
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Have a romantic dinner without utensils so you can feed each other. There's something sensual about placing food in your partner's mouth. It's such fun — especially when you serve stuff that's not supposed to be eaten with your hands, like salads or pasta. After a meal like this, serve yourself for dessert.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:29
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ArtIsResistance posted:actually gently caress it everyone watch this video before they post more in this thread
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Dec 27, 2014 17:29
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FactsAreUseless posted:You know how hotel sex is always extra-hot? Try re-creating that away-from-home atmosphere in your own bedroom. First, purge your room of any family photos or office equipment. Then buy sheets with the highest threads-per-inch count you can find (look for 200 and above), which feel supersilky to the touch without the cheesiness of satin. Invest in some thick, fluffy robes to lounge around in. And for the ultimate hotel-style indulgence, set up a tray of champagne and finger foods to savor after you make love. You'll both feel like you're on an incredible vacation from the rest of the world. I'd gently caress the poo poo out of those new sheets.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:31
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After my partner and I finish rubbing salad all over each other's bodies, we go into our fake hotel room and search everywhere for spare change.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:32
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Cut a hole in a head of iceberg lettuce and put his dick in it, this will drive your man wild and then you won't have to eat iceberg lettuce.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:32
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Whisper into his ear afterward "I used to be a dude", even if you are not, in fact, trans. Replace accordingly if you are in a homosexual relationship.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:33
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*reading nodding* Ah yes, this is trash for the garbage
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Dec 27, 2014 17:34
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How to turn on your man: 1. Take off your clothes Alternately 1. Take off his clothes 2. Take off your clothes Hth. Now I don't have to stare at a half inch thick, over perfumed Taylor Swift portrait while I wait to pay for my poo poo beer and jack off lotion.
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Dec 27, 2014 17:34
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sexy young infidel posted:*reading nodding* Ah yes, this is trash for the garbage
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Dec 27, 2014 17:34
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>tfw hair is apparently erogenous and you're balding
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Dec 27, 2014 17:35
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Heres a tip: touchingg the bepis
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Dec 27, 2014 17:38
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While walking in the woods, grab him for a little outdoors action. Hide caterpillars in your pockets. Then, when he's least expecting it, mash them into his gooch. Put a donut on his erect member. Eat it off. Then ask him about the raspberry filling. When he looks confused and scared, blow a raspberry into his gooch.
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Dec 27, 2014 18:06
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Why bother with cosmo? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaKLD3ugJYA poo poo ALREADY POSTED
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Dec 27, 2014 18:09
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Cosmopolitan has actually been around since 1886, but didn't start targeting a mostly female audience until the late 60's. I'm not sure if the ridiculous sex tips started around that time or later.
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Dec 27, 2014 18:25
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Lately I see it hidden behind those plastic shields in stores. Like Playboy or Penthouse. Probably a bit too descriptive with your headlines, ladies
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Dec 27, 2014 18:28
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ive read some weird cosmo tips, like one time they suggested basically giving the guy an indian burn on his dick and another time they suggested blowing black pepper into a mans face when he is about to cum
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Dec 27, 2014 19:28
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http://youtu.be/7TXHSwMzS8s I want to bone amy schumer
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Dec 27, 2014 19:37
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GrrrlSweatshirt posted:ive read some weird cosmo tips, like one time they suggested basically giving the guy an indian burn on his dick and another time they suggested blowing black pepper into a mans face when he is about to cum Women are easily duped. It's why they're the targets of fraud and advertising. They let their emotions rule and make themselves vulnerable to predators.
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Dec 27, 2014 19:39
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they are poo poo and they have poo poo articles like this poo poo: Female Graffiti Artist Is the New Most-Hated Person on Instagram And possibly your new hero because yes, Banksy-manques who paint sub-deviant-art-level doodles all over national parks with oil paint are most definitely feminist heroes, you go grrrrrl
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Dec 27, 2014 19:45
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"Suck his cock every day and let him gently caress your rear end when he feels like it" There ya go Cosmo. Just print that over and over and over. Worlds problems solved.
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Dec 27, 2014 20:15
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lightly stroke his shaft with a pine needle while singing his favorite song from when he was a kid. then insert a tiny pebble into his urethra
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Dec 27, 2014 20:17
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Cosmopolitan is what happens when you have all women in charge of something.
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Dec 27, 2014 20:21
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'HOW TO ACCEPT AND LOVE YOUR BODY' *turns page* 'HOW TO LOSE TWO DRESS SIZES IN A WEEK' *turns page* 'BE A BUDGET SMART BABE' *turns page* 'MUST HAVE SUMMER SANDALS FOR $1200 AND UNDER'
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Dec 27, 2014 20:30
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quote:"Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other... you can tap it back and forth like you're volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle." truly what man does not want some whore's razor-sharp nails clamping onto his poor nutsack
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Dec 27, 2014 20:32
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