Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Gunky Junket
Oct 30, 2014

by Ralp

I think pelican-guy may still have some contraband stashed upon his person.. somewhere.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Trash Trick
Apr 17, 2014

GiantAmazonianOtter posted:

I wish his micropenis was as MASSIVE as his gaming rig.

Do you seriously? Is a micropenis an issue? Does penis size really matter?

Suicide Sam E.
Jun 30, 2013

by XyloJW

Fandyien posted:

about four years ago someone robbed my house, and i'm like 99% sure it was someone i know. all they stole was my laptop, specifically, but they kicked in the door and broke a window to do it. they also left my half ounce of weed, carton of cigarettes, and 15 vicodin

they also stole my dads chepa watch i think

Thieves are typically someone local, like teenagers, and they usually see themselves as being clever for doing so. When it isn't children, then the next likely candidate is drug addicts.

Although you do have to watch out for organized rings of thieves.

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer
few years back someone busted into my exgf's car and stole an iphone, a cheap camera and a few bucks in change. Somehow they missed a deposit bag with nearly 5 grand in cash in the glove compartment(she was responsible for the night deposits at her secretarial job, before anyone asks if she was a whore. though in fact she was something of a whore, but not a good enough one to make 5 gs in a week)

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.
I had a place in Richmond Va that was broken into while I was at the hospital watching my baby flop into the world.

Some stuff they didn't touch:
Six guitars worth from 350 to 2500 bux.
A new $4000 PA head, and a bunch of amps and speaker cabs sitting by the door they left through.
An effects rack {with handles on it) full of around 6K worth of compressors and poo poo.
Full set of Pearl drums, a handgun, some game consoles, and a couple of crates full of high end mics and a couple wireless rigs.

What they took:
An ancient heavy rear end 19" TV.
6 disc CD changer.
$50 micorwave.
Leather jacket, a pack of disposable razors, and half the food in the fridge.

I mean maybe they didn't have a big enough car, but a couple of amps would have weighed less than the TV and they could have bought a proper burglar truck or two from pawning them. When the cops came and saw what wasn't stolen, I think the were kinda pissed I bothered calling them.

Khorne
May 1, 2002

utterlycorrupt posted:

few years back someone busted into my exgf's car and stole an iphone, a cheap camera and a few bucks in change. Somehow they missed a deposit bag with nearly 5 grand in cash in the glove compartment(she was responsible for the night deposits at her secretarial job, before anyone asks if she was a whore. though in fact she was something of a whore, but not a good enough one to make 5 gs in a week)
Why would you leave any of that in a car?

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer

Khorne posted:

Why would you leave any of that in a car?

this was my first question as well. evidently this happened really quick, she stopped to pick up a few things at the grocery store and when she got back the window was smashed and the stuff was gone. she was rather stupid i suppose--she was dating me at the time, after all

Suicide Sam E.
Jun 30, 2013

by XyloJW

Frankenstyle posted:

I had a place in Richmond Va that was broken into while I was at the hospital watching my baby flop into the world.

Some stuff they didn't touch:
Six guitars worth from 350 to 2500 bux.
A new $4000 PA head, and a bunch of amps and speaker cabs sitting by the door they left through.
An effects rack {with handles on it) full of around 6K worth of compressors and poo poo.
Full set of Pearl drums, a handgun, some game consoles, and a couple of crates full of high end mics and a couple wireless rigs.

What they took:
An ancient heavy rear end 19" TV.
6 disc CD changer.
$50 micorwave.
Leather jacket, a pack of disposable razors, and half the food in the fridge.

I mean maybe they didn't have a big enough car, but a couple of amps would have weighed less than the TV and they could have bought a proper burglar truck or two from pawning them. When the cops came and saw what wasn't stolen, I think the were kinda pissed I bothered calling them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHqzF_btfYk
"Amplifier"

Brand New Malaysian Wife
Apr 5, 2007
I encourage children who are bullied to kill themselves. In fact, I get off to it. Pedophilia-snuff films are the best. More abused children need to kill themselves.
Now adding boyfriend's lovely £1 mint shower gel to the list. For fucks sake.

The_Franz
Aug 8, 2003

About four years ago somebody smashed the window on my brother's car just to steal a mid-90s era portable CD player and tape adapter. The CD in it wasn't even worth anything as it was a recording of some local avant-garde concert. The CD player was buried under a pile of paper so the thief probably saw the wire from the tape adapter going under there and though he was getting an iPhone or iPod.

That window cost $200 to replace and I guarantee that the CD player ended up tossed in the trash or gutter.

There was also a case where some kids went through my neighborhood at night stealing change and other random junk out of unlocked cars. One of the neighbors said that they stole about $1.50 in assorted change from a cup holder, but left $90 in actual paper cash that was just behind it.

Crewmine
Apr 26, 2012

GiantAmazonianOtter posted:

Now adding boyfriend's lovely £1 mint shower gel to the list. For fucks sake.

gently caress you that stuff isn't lovely it's great value

END OF AN ERROR
May 16, 2003

IT'S LEGO, not Legos. Heh


Op do you have a picture of your boyfriend and his tasteful leather purse?

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 8, 2007

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe
I have rear end burglars syndrome

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
op strokes her boyfriends MASSIVE computer rig then surprises him by licking her finger and inserting it into the ethernet cable port

de_dust
Jan 21, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
how do you know it's a her? gotta be careful with those pronouns in 2014 TYOOL

Trash Trick
Apr 17, 2014

Ok, seriously though, penis size doesn't matter, right?

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Nubile Hillock posted:

I have rear end burglars syndrome

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



When you ask your bf does he say it's a satchel or a goodie bag

Pierat
Mar 29, 2008
ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THE BNP
someone stole my moms gps from her car and she was like "those burglars arent too smart, they didnt even take the change from the cupholder"

who the gently caress wants change. if i break into a car i'll loving leave any change i have on me.

Francis Baconator
Jul 11, 2008

Thanks for the avatar man!
I'm burgin' hard

Kleen_TheRacistDog
Feb 17, 2014

Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com
Your BF sounds like a bad protector. Hit me up via PM if you want a real man who can handle business, in the bedroom, the boardroom, in the streets, and otherwise. :)

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

SixPabst
Oct 24, 2006

A few years ago some assholes broke in my house and stole a bunch of random poo poo including the thanksgiving turkey I was thawing in a cooler outside.

I didn't really care about the old DVDs and iPod but who the gently caress steals a turkey?

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
Someone desperate?

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

calusari posted:



guy steals neighbor's christmas decorations and puts them up in his own yard, gets arrested

this happens right after he gets out of jail for stealing another neighbor's halloween decorations

http://www.kktv.com/news/headlines/AFFIDAVIT-Accused-Grinches-Stole-2K-In-Christmas-Decorations-286764941.html

d'awww, maybe one day he'll be a real criminal. :3:

lmao 42 year old woman 18 year old dude when he could at least be scoring with 19 year old skinny crack hos

Brand New Malaysian Wife
Apr 5, 2007
I encourage children who are bullied to kill themselves. In fact, I get off to it. Pedophilia-snuff films are the best. More abused children need to kill themselves.
At this point I'm surprised we've still got toilet paper and washing up liquid.

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
I cnat believe the burgerlgs left the boyfriend's MASSIVE computer rig and throttle untouched, h aha!

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

utterlycorrupt posted:

few years back someone busted into my exgf's car and stole an iphone, a cheap camera and a few bucks in change. Somehow they missed a deposit bag with nearly 5 grand in cash in the glove compartment(she was responsible for the night deposits at her secretarial job, before anyone asks if she was a whore. though in fact she was something of a whore, but not a good enough one to make 5 gs in a week)

Nice to hear that your bad whore ex got robbed, lol.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
ive had two breakins. once i wasnt there but my roommates scary loving boyfriend was and just scared him away with his full body tattoos (from what he said, he walked in the bedroom then ran away and nobody said a word)

second time i was alone and they opened the front door and came in and i got up and then they ran away

my roommate was also shot multiple times but that was probably unrelated

Hungry Joe
Nov 27, 2006

DDFH

Hirez posted:

This is how I afford my crack habit... fill up then zoom out with my cart



Schoolboy Q spotted

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

1gnoirents posted:

ive had two breakins. once i wasnt there but my roommates scary loving boyfriend was and just scared him away with his full body tattoos (from what he said, he walked in the bedroom then ran away and nobody said a word)

second time i was alone and they opened the front door and came in and i got up and then they ran away

my roommate was also shot multiple times but that was probably unrelated

why did you shoot your roommate

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

1gnoirents posted:

ive had two breakins. once i wasnt there but my roommates scary loving boyfriend was and just scared him away with his full body tattoos (from what he said, he walked in the bedroom then ran away and nobody said a word)

second time i was alone and they opened the front door and came in and i got up and then they ran away

my roommate was also shot multiple times but that was probably unrelated

rename me Silent Tattoo Frigthener

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



Rename me full body breakin

Hungry Joe
Nov 27, 2006

DDFH

Tiny Lowtax posted:

Op do you have a picture of your boyfriend and his tasteful leather purse?

Necros
Jul 23, 2003

rename me bicep barbwire beatdown

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010

Necros posted:

rename me bicep barbwire beatdown

actually, rename me breakin-blocking bicep barbwire bro.

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
I'd steal that rig. pc master race ftw

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
Real men run the big gaming rigs

HodjasBitch
Apr 24, 2003

Too bad you revealed what a huge asshole you are so early in the game.....I woulda put out.
Fun Shoe
Someone slept in my unlocked car about 6 months ago and dug through my center console, probably looking for loot. There were only charging cords, Altoids, and tissues in there, so he just left a beer can full of piss on the floor and knocked my maps out of the door pocket where they got soaked in the rain.

Ex-Priest Tobin
May 25, 2014

by Reene
Your boyfriend seems to own a lot of lovely stuff. If you disrespect his possessions so much, are you sure he's the right one for you?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
sounds like you have an admirer OP. One that wants to dress and smell like you.

  • Locked thread