Plafop posted:

He's a moderator
On the internet
On a comedy message board
He does it for free
He takes his "job" very seriously
He does it because it is the only amount of power and control he will ever have in his pathetic life
He closes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
He closes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
He will never have a real job
He will never move out of his parent's house
He will never be at a healthy weight
He will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
He will never have a girlfriend
He will never have any friends