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I just broke up recently with my boyfriend and I thought I might try Tinder or OkCupid to see what it was like out there (LTR for 5 years). I loaded up the app and I was surprised at how many guys were matching up with me; I've always had low self-esteem so it was a pleasant surprise. The next thing I know, after a couple messages back and forth, I had a date Friday with a guy named Greg. On his profile it said that he loved board games / table-top games, and that he was an avid Japanese cinema fan, a true aficionado of story telling. Since he was a writer and he had "yet to make it big" he was still living at his parents' place. I thought it was kind of admirable that he was saving his cash; most of my friends are still in their late twenties down in L.A. going into debt but loving it, it was a nice reprieve from the Hollywood attitude. I picked him up at around 7 and I was surprised by how he looked. Firstly, he was wearing an ill-fitted graphic T-shirt (I think with a horse or a pony on it?) with a pinstripe long-sleeve and a trilby or some kind of hat that rested on his head sideways. Second, he was about 40 pounds overweight and looked like had never owned a razor in his life. As he lumbered over to my car I tried to keep myself from physically expressing disgust. If I had liked the guy enough to message him, I shouldn't judge him based on appearances alone. My resolve was tested again as he opened the door and slid into the seat I could smell this emanating odor that reminded me strongly of cat litter. It was almost as if he had rubbed both of his armpits with the stuff. As the door clipped shut the stench intensified and I almost gagged. I rolled down both windows and started to drive until he finally complained to me that it was December and how cold air hurt his lungs because of his asthma. I had picked out the location since I was an East bay native and he said that he didn't "do the bar scene". We went down to a French Vietnamese fusion restaurant called Le Cheval, that I loved for their claypot rice (the rice near the rim is always chewy and delicious). What he did at the restaurant I can't even begin to describe.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:09
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 13:25 |
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Did he score?
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Dec 28, 2014 00:11
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Aferisan posted:What he did at the restaurant I can't even begin to describe. ok cool
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Dec 28, 2014 00:13
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Take a pic of your feet
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Dec 28, 2014 00:14
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So what happened after you gave him a bj?
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Dec 28, 2014 00:14
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Maybe you should try to describe it, as that seems like the main appeal of this story?
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Dec 28, 2014 00:14
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Aferisan posted:What he did at the restaurant I can't even begin to describe. Then why have the thread. You live in Sanfran yeah? The alarm bells should of been ringing the moment you had to pick this dude up.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:14
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Go on...
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Dec 28, 2014 00:14
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Shout out to Greg.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:15
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thanks for half of a post OP
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Dec 28, 2014 00:17
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Omally posted:thanks for half of a post OP he cant describe it i feel like the post was adequately concluded
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Dec 28, 2014 00:19
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The real hammer that's going to drop here is when the Goon you went on a date with rolls into this thread and tells us that you were twice his weight, but thanks to a lot of self-conditioning through the endless click-circling on Salon and Tumblr you don't believe you should be held to the same standard as loving MEN and you spent a lot of time talking about how you really adored Arianna Huffington and talking about how Dragon Age Inquisition was tearing down everything we believed about what videogames could be.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:20
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He had sex with you at the restaurant on the table BUT he would lean over your shoulder to get food off the plate in the middle of it?
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Dec 28, 2014 00:21
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you picked an anime fan living with his parents as a good date, no wonder you have low self esteem
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Dec 28, 2014 00:25
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and that goon was albert einstein god bless
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Dec 28, 2014 00:44
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Jst0rm posted:Then why have the thread. East bay. That could be Walnut Creek or Berkeley or who really gives a poo poo, east bay sucks.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:46
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i am the waiter at the french restaurant in the OP, i'd be happy to share my perspective of the night... needless to say both of these people are banned from our restaurant now
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Dec 28, 2014 00:46
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donkey salami posted:Take a pic of your feet Preferably slathered in mayonnaise with funfetti sprinkles on them.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:47
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I was Greg's trilby, and let me just say, my perspective of that night was significantly different.
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Dec 28, 2014 00:48
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greg is my ally on these hosed up forums
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Dec 28, 2014 00:50
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Ape Fist posted:The real hammer that's going to drop here is when the Goon you went on a date with rolls into this thread and tells us that you were twice his weight, but thanks to a lot of self-conditioning through the endless click-circling on Salon and Tumblr you don't believe you should be held to the same standard as loving MEN and you spent a lot of time talking about how you really adored Arianna Huffington and talking about how Dragon Age Inquisition was tearing down everything we believed about what videogames could be. a weird assumptions post
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Dec 28, 2014 00:51
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- hi
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Christmas Present posted:and that goon was albert einstein god bless At what point did everyone in the restaurant stand up clapping and cheering?
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Dec 28, 2014 00:51
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its fairly loving epic that he was wearing a trillby, the most comedy hat for MRA fucktards around
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Dec 28, 2014 00:53
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smoobles posted:i am the waiter at the french restaurant in the OP, i'd be happy to share my perspective of the night... needless to say both of these people are banned from our restaurant now Why can't the events that took place at the restaurant be described?
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Dec 28, 2014 00:53
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boom boom boom posted:Why can't the events that took place at the restaurant be described? have you ever read any lovecraft? it's indescribable in a cthulu sense, in the sense most humans' minds can't wrap around what happened in that restaurant
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Dec 28, 2014 00:55
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like the vastness of space, i cannot comprehend the actions of a nerd on a date
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Dec 28, 2014 00:56
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the op really went for it with this sort of thread but found out you do actually need to be able to be funny to pull it off
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Dec 28, 2014 00:56
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STDH.txt
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Dec 28, 2014 00:57
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Stoic Commie posted:like the vastness of space, i cannot comprehend the actions of a nerd on a date this but unironically
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Dec 28, 2014 00:58
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I'm Greg. OP sucked my dick and I never called again.
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Dec 28, 2014 01:02
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Aferisan posted:Since he was a writer and he had "yet to make it big" he was still living at his parents' place. How long did it take him to get your man-panties down around your ankles with his bard-like storytelling?
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Dec 28, 2014 01:03
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i saw 50 shades of grey brand blindfolds for sale at target, on a display hanging right out on the main aisle and i was like...wtf?
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Dec 28, 2014 01:09
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Stoic Commie posted:i saw 50 shades of grey brand blindfolds for sale at target, on a display hanging right out on the main aisle and i was like...wtf? O brave new world, with such products in it
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Dec 28, 2014 01:11
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EZipperelli posted:At what point did everyone in the restaurant stand up clapping and cheering? once the marine punched the op
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Dec 28, 2014 01:11
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c'mon op..i'm close
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Dec 28, 2014 01:16
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Carpet posted:once the marine punched the op repost if ur a true blue american patriot whos upports the troops
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Dec 28, 2014 01:16
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ive probably dated lots of goons but i'd never ask
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Dec 28, 2014 01:23
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This is hosed up.
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Dec 28, 2014 01:25
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I once went on an okcupid date with some girl and I mentioned somethingawful, and she was all like "That place is still around?" lol
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Dec 28, 2014 01:25
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GAYS FOR DAYS posted:I once went on an okcupid date with some girl and I mentioned somethingawful, and she was all like "That place is still around?" what kind opf hat were you wearing???
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Dec 28, 2014 01:29
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