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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

mcmagic posted:

The idea of Rex Ryan coaching Kaepernick's make or break year as a QB in the NFL is just a laugh riot.

Rex made it to two AFC Championship with Mark Sanchez under center. He'd fit the 2015 Niners like a glove.

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TheGreyGhost
Feb 14, 2012

“Go win the Heimlich Trophy!”
Good Things for the Browns:
- No double digits in the loss column!
- Mike Pettine looks like an actual competent coach
- The defense is fundamentally sound
- Our offense was good when we weren't injured on the line
- We have two loving awesome running backs for the first time in eons
- Hawkins, Gabriel, and Austin can all be serviceable receivers

Bad things for the Browns:
- Still a losing season
- Our first rounders were hot garbage
- Hoyer likely hates us now
- Jimmy Haslam is a loving moron
- Our WR1 dogs routes and doesn't give a poo poo

Expectations:
- We're drafting a QB at some point this draft.
- We're also going to be shopping for a long term option to replace Gordon at this rate

Hopes:
- Getting another pass rusher seems like a necessity since Mingo is mediocre right now
- Another ILB wouldn't be bad either
- Get rid of Manziel. gently caress, can we con someone into trading for him?
- Keep Shaw. He looked actually competent for a 3rd stringer. Maybe we can make a good backup out of him some day.

Fears:
- Trading up for Jameis
- Losing one of our awesome starting O-line guys
- Trading back in the draft again when we have obvious holes that we need loving talent for.


Honestly, Haslam proved he at least cares about the team this year which is nice. Now we just need him to care less so people who actually know football can draft our quarterbacks instead of people who literally live on the streets.

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

One more month until the Raiders bring back Hue!

HarlanHell
Nov 16, 2012

Nevermind that shit here comes Mingo!
Typical Browns season with a couple more wins. The highs were really high, and the lows sunk down past the burning of hell, and into cold inky nothingness of oblivion. Once again we've won enough to lose out on the can't miss picks in the draft but lost enough, and in such a style to remain a league punchline. We are the Emanuel Augustus of sports franchises. The worst thing about the Browns is that they never seem to make any progress. At this time for the last eight years the Browns have been a young team with a competent defense, no QB, and more questions than answers with the teams culture, and front office. This year is no different. The only bight spot is I do believe that the Browns have locked down the running back potion for a few years.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

I'd rather have Haslam own the team than Lerner.

I also feel that Pettine and Farmer have earned the right to keep their positions.

I think Manziel is gone at this point. The guy just has no loving clue. It's not even about the parties or anything. I'm cool with that and I would have loved to have seen a Namath/Farve type of guy piss off the league.

Sadly he's not like either of those two.

Gordon is gone. I mean...why keep him at this point?

I have no loving clue what you do at QB. I know Shaw now deserves a roster spot, but aside from that? You got nothing. I would go hard after Marriotta, but I don't think there's any chance at the guy. I mean...I just don't know.

EugeneJ
Feb 5, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Bills season exceeded expectations, but the offense is mediocre and we're never winning a playoff game without major changes on that side of the ball.

I like Orton and think with a new running core (CJ is poo poo and injury-prone, Fred is old and will be retired soon, Boobie is mediocre) he's fine for the job. Shore up the offensive line and we're golden.

Of course this is Buffalo, so we'll nuke everything and start over.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS
Well, the Bills are done. They finished 9-7, almost entirely because their defense is amazing. They finished 9-7 because the offense is nearly as bad as the defense is great. It rings a bit hollow, because, if only they had managed to not poo poo the bed against the Oakland Raiders, they would have made the playoffs. Nonetheless, 9-7 represents their best record in a decade, and they actually beat the Patriots, something they've done twice(counting today) in the past 13 years. In this case, one shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Everyone should or will stay exactly where they are for another year, at least in terms of coaches and the front office.

As far as actually returning to the playoffs goes, the Bills have two major issues to address.
The first(and the easier of the two) is overhauling the offensive line. Glenn and Henderson are fine, and Wood is good, but the guards are terrible. Urbik is serviceable, and he is by far the best guard on the roster. Erik Pears is terrible, and Cyril Richardson was a loving disaster, and how he was ever placed in the starting line-up is a mystery. To make matters worse, Cyrus Kouandjio, our 2nd-round pick, looked completely lost. For the purposes of improving the line, they should all be treated as lost causes. If Kouandjio or Richardson show anything at all, it would be a miracle. That means we need to acquire at least one starting guard, as well as depth for pretty much the entire line. If one of our three good linemen had gotten hurt(hell, even if Urbik had gotten hurt), things would have gone straight to hell in a hand basket. And our offense was already bad in all facets.

The second one is far thornier: what to do at quarterback? Kyle Orton demonstrated that he's a pretty good back-up, but he's our starter. That's a problem. Manuel suffers from erratic accuracy, but it seems to me counting him out entirely is premature, given he has only started 14 games. In any case, we clearly need more talent at the position. The problem is that improving on what we already have will be difficult. The free-agent quarterback class this year figures to be headline by the likes of Brian Hoyer and Sam Bradford: not exactly promising prospects. They are all arguably worse than Orton, though sometimes you strike gold where you least expect to.
The other avenue, of course, is the draft. However, they traded away this year's 1st-rounder to move up for Sammy Watkins(which looks pretty bad in hindsight, not because they were wrong about Sammy, but appear to have underestimated every other wide receiver who had a 1st-round grade) last year. Teams strike out often enough on 1st-round quarterbacks, and the success rate with quarterbacks from later rounds is worse. I fear that our quarterback situation will not improve unless they hit the jackpot or E.J. Manuel's accuracy improves precipitously.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Lance of Llanwyln posted:

It rings a bit hollow, because, if only they had managed to not poo poo the bed against the Oakland Raiders, they would have made the playoffs.

Oh hey, I didn't realize another team was in this position. The off-season feels a little less lonely now.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

Grittybeard posted:

Oh hey, I didn't realize another team was in this position. The off-season feels a little less lonely now.
Actually, I just learned I'm wrong. The Ravens still would have gotten in ahead of us.
Even so, it's the principle of the thing.

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

Lance of Llanwyln posted:


As far as actually returning to the playoffs goes, the Bills have two major issues to address.
The first(and the easier of the two) is overhauling the offensive line. Glenn and Henderson are fine, and Wood is good, but the guards are terrible. Urbik is serviceable, and he is by far the best guard on the roster. Erik Pears is terrible, and Cyril Richardson was a loving disaster, and how he was ever placed in the starting line-up is a mystery. To make matters worse, Cyrus Kouandjio, our 2nd-round pick, looked completely lost. For the purposes of improving the line, they should all be treated as lost causes. If Kouandjio or Richardson show anything at all, it would be a miracle. That means we need to acquire at least one starting guard, as well as depth for pretty much the entire line. If one of our three good linemen had gotten hurt(hell, even if Urbik had gotten hurt), things would have gone straight to hell in a hand basket. And our offense was already bad in all facets.

The offensive line is indeed terrible. The two guards were the worst but neither of the tackles or Wood are in danger of going to a pro bowl anytime soon.
Part of that is that Orton does hold on to the ball too long and can't escape out of the pocket, but the team isn't able to run either. If they get two solid guards either in free agency or in the draft I think Orton can do just enough to get them over the hump. If they aren't able to fix the line they will have to get a QB who can either make quicker decisions or scramble.

Barring unforeseen FA losses the Bills will again have an elite defense with Kiko returning. Although no one player on their line is as good as Bruce Smith was in his prime, as a unit this is the best line the Bills have had in my lifetime and very likely in franchise history. With Gilmore's and the secondary's progression and competent LB play this has to be one of the best all around defenses the Bills have fielded in a long time. Overall I feel Doug Marrone done a good job keeping the team playing pretty hard all season, and has earned another year. If he wants to keep his job he has to fix the offense and specifically the line. If he does that the defense will carry them into the playoffs next year.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
I can't even take solace in the fact that we prevented other teams from going to the playoffs. We killed the Orton ring dream. :smith: Chiefs on the other hand, gently caress the Chiefs lol.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.
I think for next year Pittsburgh has to...

hahaha sike we won the division later losers

,!,,

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

R.D. Mangles posted:

Is there any point for the Bears even continuing to play football? They have no hope to hire an even mediocre coach, they are capable of only being not terrible at one phase of the game in any given season, everyone hates Jay Cutler except for me, the ownership is a bunch of idiots, and they have no chance of making the playoffs until Rodgers retires. Just move the team.

I don't hate Jay, and if the Bears don't play football how else are the Mccasky's going to make money.

LEGO Genetics
Oct 8, 2013

She growls as she storms the stadium
A villain mean and rough
And the cops all shake and quiver and quake
as she stabs them with her cuffs

Volkerball posted:

I can't even take solace in the fact that we prevented other teams from going to the playoffs. We killed the Orton ring dream. :smith: Chiefs on the other hand, gently caress the Chiefs lol.

Forty-Niners, Chiefs and Bills. Better add Chargers to the list too just because.

Kazak_Hstan
Apr 28, 2014

Grimey Drawer

LEGO Genetics posted:

Forty-Niners, Chiefs and Bills. Better add Chargers to the list too just because.

No single team gets to claim they knocked us out of the playoffs. We sucked in too many ways.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

pasaluki posted:

Barring unforeseen FA losses the Bills will again have an elite defense with Kiko returning. Although no one player on their line is as good as Bruce Smith was in his prime, as a unit this is the best line the Bills have had in my lifetime and very likely in franchise history.

I'd agree with this, and the thought of Kiko Alonso coming back next year is insane. This line with Kiko will be the best defense in the league next year.

Offense was horrid this year. Watkins did some good stuff, Fred Jackson still owns, Robert Woods is becoming better and better, CJ did ok, but seems like he still needed more time to recover from IR. Boobie Dixon came out and did some good things, and Stephon Gilmore, would be a lot better if he wasn't collecting flags for the flag god,

Orton did everything expected of him as a temporary QB. He wasn't the shitshow we've seen in the vast library of Bills QBs following Bledsoe/Flutie, but yeah. He's a temp.

Special teams did pretty well this year, even with Spiller on IR.

Bills went 9-7 this year though. They beat the Lions, Packers, 2nd-string Patriots, and almost beat the Broncos. It's been a good year for them.

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

Mel Mudkiper posted:

I think for next year Pittsburgh has to...

hahaha sike we won the division later losers

,!,,

May the curse of Tebow forever ruin you

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Febreeze posted:

curse of Tebow

hiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssss

*retreats into dark cave*

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


The Jets were not good at football this year. I'm almost not sure if they were even supposed to be good at football this year.

Rex is almost definitely on his way out. I always liked him. It's very possible we pick up a worse coach. Realistically, six seasons, it's time to go. I'm sure he'll kick our asses in Oakland or Washington because that's what Jets football is.

Idzik had a hard job. Guys like Wilkerson, Demario Davis and especially Richardson (who he drafted) are great pieces, but we don't have a ton of young home-grown talent here. We've been net sellers of picks and our drafting hasn't been any better than average. Rebuilding wasn't the worst idea in the world. Maybe he'd stick around in Tennessee or Jacksonville, but this is the New York media and it's kind of a clusterfuck. I'm okay with it because gently caress Calvin Pryor.

May Geno Smith throw footballs off of Johnny Manziel's helmet forever.

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."
there was nothing good about the tennessee titans this year. They were terrible. They weren't even memorably terrible. They just sucked on ice all drat year, and then couldn't even finish the drill and at least get the #1 draft pick. poo poo, we won't even draft Jameis so we can at least be funny while being a disaster. We'll get some anonymous schmuck who neer REALLY pans out but never REALLY is a great player so everyone in 5 years just goes 'oh... that guy, was he a bust? No, not a bust. poo poo. Well, at least they have the 2nd pick again, because they never got better but never got lovely enough to be interestingly bad!"

Go Titans

Moxie
Aug 2, 2003

Fat Lowtax posted:

Rex is almost definitely on his way out. I always liked him. It's virtually guaranteed we pick up a worse coach.

ftfy

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Mukaikubo posted:

there was nothing good about the tennessee titans this year. They were terrible. They weren't even memorably terrible. They just sucked on ice all drat year, and then couldn't even finish the drill and at least get the #1 draft pick. poo poo, we won't even draft Jameis so we can at least be funny while being a disaster. We'll get some anonymous schmuck who neer REALLY pans out but never REALLY is a great player so everyone in 5 years just goes 'oh... that guy, was he a bust? No, not a bust. poo poo. Well, at least they have the 2nd pick again, because they never got better but never got lovely enough to be interestingly bad!"

Go Titans

I know its kind of a memetic joke and all but I literally forgot about the Titans until you mentioned them right now and we played them this year

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

axeil posted:

The Eagles went 10-6 same as last year. Except this time we don't go to the playoffs. We are officially the best of the non-playoff teams.

By the same token, we didn't deserve to make the playoffs given all our fuckups over the year. It's really disheartening starting 4-0 and then being 9-3 and 3-0 in the division and finishing 10-6 and 4-2 in the division.

Fire Bradley Fletcher and Cary Williams and pray there are corners out there. Do that and we should be a terrifying team.

If you want a laugh, Cary Williams would be the best player on the secondary if he was still with the Ravens this year.

sponges
Sep 15, 2011

Mel Mudkiper posted:

I know its kind of a memetic joke and all but I literally forgot about the Titans until you mentioned them right now and we played them this year

Yeah, the Titans are one of those teams that no one ever talks about

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
I feel like they're cutting in line for the draft. You scroll down the draft order and you're just like "Whoa wait a minute, who said you could be here?"

DancingMachine
Aug 12, 2004

He's a dancing machine!
Reading the Viking fan optimism makes me happy. I can't wait for the day the NFC North is owned by one of the Lions or Vikings. Sadly Aaron Rodgers probably has like 8 more years of HOF-level play left in him.

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

Mel Mudkiper posted:

*retreats to a different team*

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.
Apart from everything that went wrong with the Niners this year (and there was a loving LOT) there's a very strong possibility that the conference championships this year will be Seahawks/Cowboys and Steelers/Patriots.

gently caress this NFL season so hard.

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

Mukaikubo posted:

there was nothing good about the tennessee titans this year. They were terrible. They weren't even memorably terrible. They just sucked on ice all drat year, and then couldn't even finish the drill and at least get the #1 draft pick. poo poo, we won't even draft Jameis so we can at least be funny while being a disaster. We'll get some anonymous schmuck who neer REALLY pans out but never REALLY is a great player so everyone in 5 years just goes 'oh... that guy, was he a bust? No, not a bust. poo poo. Well, at least they have the 2nd pick again, because they never got better but never got lovely enough to be interestingly bad!"

Go Titans

The team wasn't entertainingly bad, no, but they were bad enough to get the second pick and I can't help but feel that will say more to the ownership than the usual 6-9 draft position the team ends up at. This team loving sucked. It ended the season on Charlie Whitehurst, and even the blind could've seen that happening from the season's outset. No more hinged chances on Locker, no more ignoring the running back position... there has to be some kind of reckoning, right?

Oh, wait, Whisenhunt is running the team, never mind, gonna enjoy the third pick next year when San Fran and Oakland edge us out again.

SunshineDanceParty
Feb 7, 2006

One Road. Two Friends. One Ass.
Whisenhunt being everything predicated in the worst way, like Manziel, is one of the best things about this season. Caldwell isn't even a good coach, but I don't think the Lions are in the playoffs with Whisenhunt. I hope he calls Kurt Warner every month and thanks him for the millions he gifted him.

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

Titans like the Raiders were bad, and were bad all year. With that being said, I'd rather be terrible and expect it instead of being the 49ers and watching your team implode for all to see throughout the season.

The latter is so devastatingly gut wrenching I would expect most niner fans to despise the ownership for years to come.

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Mukaikubo posted:

there was nothing good about the tennessee titans this year. They were terrible. They weren't even memorably terrible. They just sucked on ice all drat year, and then couldn't even finish the drill and at least get the #1 draft pick. poo poo, we won't even draft Jameis so we can at least be funny while being a disaster. We'll get some anonymous schmuck who neer REALLY pans out but never REALLY is a great player so everyone in 5 years just goes 'oh... that guy, was he a bust? No, not a bust. poo poo. Well, at least they have the 2nd pick again, because they never got better but never got lovely enough to be interestingly bad!"

Go Titans

Holy poo poo a Titans fan

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

DOOP posted:

Eagles :smith:

Their implosion was soul-crushing, which coincidentally is what I would trade for some DBs

I am the opposite. I thought it was a fun year and losing Foles right the O line got healthy was rough. But it was a fun year and they played to their talent level I think.

I am excited for the offseason to see how they patch up holes.

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling

Volkerball posted:

I can't even take solace in the fact that we prevented other teams from going to the playoffs. We killed the Orton ring dream. :smith: Chiefs on the other hand, gently caress the Chiefs lol.

I am just pretending that the Titans knocked us out of the playoffs because its just as valid

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
I think overall this was a really good season for KC.

The defense I think is set for the next year or two:
- young, improving DL of Poe, Bailey, Howard
- young, improving DB rotation of Smith, Gaines, Fleming, Cooper as future CBs and Coleman, Abdullah and Parker at S
- great pass rush with a) the aging, mentor vet (Hali) b) the prime elite (Houston) and c) the ascending rookie (Ford)

the offense is a mess BUT
- Albert Wilson came on strong enough at the end of the year that he will be a decent WR going forward
- DAT is being used really well by Andy Reid
- Kelce is a great young piece
- Jeff Allen and Donald Stephenson will hopefully be starting again next year


So if KC just can find some more WRs, Guards, ILBs in the draft and FA they should be in a position to be at least .500 next year

Glass of Milk
Dec 22, 2004
to forgive is divine
Injuries to the Chargers personnel led to the coaching staff adopting an overly conservative strategy on offense. At least I'm hoping that's what happened. The two runs up the middle with Donald Brown near the end of the final game are demonstrative of the whole season, offensively- repeatedly using ineffective tactics while lacking personnel.

Mathews is the hardest runner made of paper mache I've seen. I wish he was more durable but it's time to move on.

Yaws
Oct 23, 2013

Always a sad time of year for us non-playoff folk. Now I have to root for the team I hate the least in the playoffs.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008

Yaws posted:

Always a sad time of year for us non-playoff folk.
Four years of not knowing what that's like. :smug:

Please ignore this post next week.

b-minus1
Jul 24, 2008

She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
the rams have not had a winning season since 2003.

Ways to improve the team:
Fire brian schottenheimer
cut jared cook, jake long, joe barksdale, scott wells immediately
Fire brian schottenheimer
actually discipline players for committing drive-killing penalties and/or giving up big plays
Fire brian schottenheimer
cut Shaun hill
Fire brian schottenheimer

That's a start.

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Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president

briang posted:

the rams have not had a winning season since 2003.

Ways to improve the team:
Fire brian schottenheimer
cut jared cook, jake long, joe barksdale, scott wells immediately
Fire brian schottenheimer
actually discipline players for committing drive-killing penalties and/or giving up big plays
Fire brian schottenheimer
cut Shaun hill
Fire brian schottenheimer

That's a start.

I thought Joe Barksdale was doing well?

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