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All you need to know about the final installment of the epic is, instead of Bard just pulling off a million-to-one shot against the dragon, in this we have Smaug land, gloat, poo poo-talk Bard and threaten his son, before the fatal blow we apparently all know will be struck (they certainly don't shoot it as a surprise---note the fetishistic close-up when Bard draws the fatal bow). Everything from the book mist be ramped up, heightened---it's no longer enough for Thorin and his twelve kinsmen to make an heroic charge against the Goblin horde, now they must do so on the back of GIANT RAMS. Here is The Hobbit, a work of real imagination and one of the standouts of the twentieth century---packaged like a new Honda Accord, sold to Middle America with a love story and the pathetic spectacle of distinguished elder actors blatantly swApping places with stunt doubles to engage in utterly meaningless stage fights with computer generated counterparts. This pathetic spectacle left me depressed and irritated. What were we supposed to take from the two and a half hour witless chronicle, with Tolkien's wry humor and economy (for all his trumped up lingering over the mountains and woods of middle earth he did not take long to aptly explain a Denethor or a Thranduil), economy and humanity the Hobbit films badly lack
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Dec 29, 2014 11:19
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...fag.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:21
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It was kind of a letdown but it's just a movie so shut the gently caress up
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Dec 29, 2014 11:22
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Oh yeah another thing.... Goblin mercenaries. GOBLIN METCENARIES. They grew out of a complexifying cash economy back in Mordor. gently caress you.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:26
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You should play Shadow of Mordor for a quality Middle Earth experience.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:27
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Now it's a video game! Be one of the dunedain and kill the orcs in that book about how war is bad! Dhsndjdmdjdjdndndj
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Dec 29, 2014 11:29
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Harime Nui posted:All you need to know about the final installment of the epic is, instead of Bard just pulling off a million-to-one shot against the dragon, in this we have Smaug land, gloat, poo poo-talk Bard and threaten his son, before the fatal blow we apparently all know will be struck (they certainly don't shoot it as a surprise---note the fetishistic close-up when Bard draws the fatal bow). Everything from the book mist be ramped up, heightened---it's no longer enough for Thorin and his twelve kinsmen to make an heroic charge against the Goblin horde, now they must do so on the back of GIANT RAMS. Here is The Hobbit, a work of real imagination and one of the standouts of the twentieth century---packaged like a new Honda Accord, sold to Middle America with a love story and the pathetic spectacle of distinguished elder actors blatantly swApping places with stunt doubles to engage in utterly meaningless stage fights with computer generated counterparts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUGZwlLoZh0
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Dec 29, 2014 11:30
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Go back to your animes nerd. *snort*
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Dec 29, 2014 11:32
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Harime Nui posted:Now it's a video game! Be one of the dunedain and kill the orcs in that book about how war is bad! Dhsndjdmdjdjdndndj This is all true. I can't disagree with anything in this message. Still, you should play it. You'll have fun. I'm pro-fun. I'm just trying to make sure you're happy.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:34
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If you are wondering how this disaster happened, I was invited to see the movie with friends... I was a good sport and pretended to enjoy it... I withheld mu true feelings for ejaculation into the void of GBS later
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Dec 29, 2014 11:36
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thanks for the spoilers op, & the thread being a lead up to a humble brag about having friends jerk.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:38
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I vaguely recall jalopybrown had good opinions about (liberals? Anime? The fed?). So, I am sprry, I will be your friend
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Dec 29, 2014 11:41
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Another thing, not gay here but OHHHMIGOD ORLANDO BLOOM IS SO HOT BOW, he's not the waif from the first trilogy, he's got a man's body now, real thighs, real rear end
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Dec 29, 2014 11:43
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U mad?
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Dec 29, 2014 11:44
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Harime Nui posted:I vaguely recall jalopybrown had good opinions about (liberals? Anime? The fed?). So, I am sprry, I will be your friend its u i had good opinions about u, heartfilia & Ryuko and warned gently caress the row that the confusing one week anime challange ban thing (5 days remain) was a bad idea
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Dec 29, 2014 11:47
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I didn't really expect much from this movie!
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Dec 29, 2014 11:49
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Everuthing is so overblown.... Did Fili and Kili's deaths need to be miniature Passions of the Christ? The repeated callbacks to lines from the first trilogy, the duplo elves.... Do people really want this overblown garbage?
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Dec 29, 2014 11:50
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Harime Nui posted:Everuthing is so overblown.... Did Fili and Kili's deaths need to be miniature Passions of the Christ? The repeated callbacks to lines from the first trilogy, the duplo elves.... Do people really want this overblown garbage? What matters is Peter Jackson's legacy...everything else is secondary.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:51
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Harime Nui posted:Everuthing is so overblown.... Did Fili and Kili's deaths need to be miniature Passions of the Christ? The repeated callbacks to lines from the first trilogy, the duplo elves.... Do people really want this overblown garbage? My mom enjoyed it.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:52
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echronorian posted:U mad? I'm glad that Chris Tolkien at least cockblocked them from bastardizing Silmarillion or Children of Hurin...
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Dec 29, 2014 11:52
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Greed is eternal posted:My mom enjoyed it. I enjoyed your mom.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:52
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drat, is you retarded B ? Watch something you like you weirdo You probably went to all three of those lovely movies like a sucker. I bet you watched it in 3d and paid out the rear end to be miserable. Pathetic
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Dec 29, 2014 11:53
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Harime Nui posted:Another thing, not gay here but OHHHMIGOD ORLANDO BLOOM IS SO HOT BOW, he's not the waif from the first trilogy, he's got a man's body now, real thighs, real rear end its from Orlando Bloom beating the poo poo out of Justin Beiber repeatedly
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Dec 29, 2014 11:54
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Matoi Ryuko posted:What matters is Peter Jackson's legacy...everything else is secondary. He's a good filmmaker.... he knows how to shoot a movie.... it's what he was shooting that was garbage
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Dec 29, 2014 11:56
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Harime Nui posted:He's a good filmmaker.... he knows how to shoot a movie.... it's what he was shooting that was garbage Yeah but it was garbage in HD.
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Dec 29, 2014 11:57
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Fool me once, shame on you. Twice, shame on me. Three times, and I post about it on the Internet like it's impressive being a super opinionated idiot nerd with terrible spending habits. How many hours did you have to put in at Suncoast to afford those 3d tickets
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Dec 29, 2014 11:58
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i like the movie more now that i know you hate it op
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Dec 29, 2014 11:58
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Thanks for the heads up I was actually going to watch this .......... NOT.
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Dec 29, 2014 12:01
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echronorian posted:drat, is you retarded B ? Watch something you like you weirdo I have seen 2/3 Hobbits BCZ FRIENDS/Family did not want to see em not retarded
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Dec 29, 2014 12:03
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Monstrous Dooklord posted:its from Orlando Bloom beating the poo poo out of Justin Beiber repeatedly Agreed----his career needs a revival right now
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Dec 29, 2014 12:04
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I got really drunk and saw the hobbit. I want to be swole like the dwarf commander guys
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Dec 29, 2014 12:05
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My phone ran out of juice using friend's can't find prd Button or would have ellipses
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Dec 29, 2014 12:06
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there's a part where they get attacked by a bunch of orcs and they're like THERE'S 100 ORCS WE GOT THIS *does crazy star wars poo poo with battle axe* fukkin crazy
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Dec 29, 2014 12:07
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Smeego posted:I got really drunk and saw the hobbit. I want to be swole like the dwarf commander guys Dwarf headbuttingisnow an official dwarf power, mother fuc
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Dec 29, 2014 12:09
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Harime Nui posted:Dwarf headbuttingisnow an official dwarf power, mother fuc Dwarf gently caress this phone
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Dec 29, 2014 12:10
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I think Dori is sassaaay lol but Thorin is such a bad boy who is your favorite
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Dec 29, 2014 12:12
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echronorian posted:I think Dori is sassaaay lol but Thorin is such a bad boy who is your favorite The guy who played Thorin owned that role, he deserved to be in a better movie
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Dec 29, 2014 12:16
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I'm upset at how western your anime avatar is getting. Also who gets mad at children's movies. Lol if you're an adult in a movie theatre filled with kids.
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Dec 29, 2014 12:18
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However I like the bald Hardcase mother fuckety with the two axes and rtatts best in terms of who I'd make a D&D char off of
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Dec 29, 2014 12:18
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I'll be waiting for a good fan edit for the condensed version of all three films, with all the bullshit taken out. Should have a 30 minute run time by then.
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Dec 29, 2014 13:21
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