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Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


:sparkles: THUNDERDOME CEE-TRIPLE-X: Twice Told Tales of Magic and Sparkles :sparkles:



Guess what I love? Retold Fairy Tales. Read em, write em, put em in a stew. I treasure them when they’re well done. Ah, that last part’s the rub, ain’t it? Well done. So let’s see what you chucklefucks can do with old as balls story elements.

Pick a fairy tale. Perrault, Grimm, Anderson, etc.—you hopefully know the drat classics (and if you don’t you’re on the internet, so Google that poo poo). If you don’t/won’t pick one or want to take your chances with what I can give, I’ll pick it for you. I know some obscure poo poo. Once someone takes a story it and all its variants are off the table, so move fast.

You are to then take two to three (and no more) well known elements from that story and use it in your entry. So if you pick, say, Cinderella? You can pick the glass slipper, the midnight deadline, birds pecking the stepsister’s eyes out, mice, and/or many other things in the story. And don’t Disneyfy this poo poo. If you pick Snow White and write about some bastard named Doc or Grumpy, that’s fanfic and you can suck a poison apple rear end in a top hat and die. I want the semi-classic stories, none of this Tangled Frozen House of Mouse nonsense.

Things that are not Fairy Tales (including but not limited to): Epics, Poems, Myths, Just So Stories, Aesop's Fables, Fantasy Novels, The Wizard of Oz. Don't game the system.

And to try and get actual stories out of you like swords out of stones (bee tee dubs, that's not a fairy tale), your story must either travel in a line—be at a different place at the end than at the beginning—or a circle—end near the same place it started, but with some significant, detectable change.

No: erotica, GoogleDocs, poetry, fanfic, or funky word tricks that put the Head Judge’s vision at stake.

1550 words to turn these frogs into princes or these princes into frogs. Magic at the ready.

Signups end: 11:59 p.m. Friday, Jan 30th, Pacific Standard Time
Stories in by: 11:59 p.m. Sunday, Feb 1st, PST

Three Good Fairies:
Nethilia
SaddestRhino
Your Sledgehammer

Story Weavers:
leekster: The Bronze Ring
ZeBourgeoisie: Little Brother and Little Sister
Capntastic: Bearskin
Crab Destroyer: The Girl Without Hands
Ironic Twist: Vasilisa the Beautiful
Screaming Idiot: Jack and the Beanstalk
Pete Zah: The Wolf and the Seven Little Kids :toxx:
thehomemaster: King Thrushbeard
Djeser: Puss in Boots
curlingiron: The Golden Bird
Savagely_Random: The Emperor's New Clothes
SadisTech: The Dirty Shepardess
Fumblemouse: The Fisherman and His Wife
Grizzled Patriarch: Our Lady's Child/Mary's Child
hotsoupdinner: The Juniper Tree
docbeard: Godfather Death
kurona_bright: The Death of the Little Hen
Mercedes: Little Red Riding Hood
Drone Incognito: Hansel and Gretel
crabrock: One-Eye, Two Eyes, and Three Eyes
newtestleper: King Goldenlocks
Chairchucker: Aladdin
Benny Profane: The Steadfast Tin Soldier
Entenzahn: Thumbelina
A Classy Ghost: The Bremen Town Musicians
HopperUK: Sleeping Beauty
Tyrannosaurus: The Princess and the Pea
ExtraNoise: Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
Echo Cian: Koschei the Deathless
Dr. Kloctopussy: Beauty and the Beast :toxx:
December Octopodes: The Red Shoes
Schneider Heim: The Goose Girl
Benny the Snake: The Lawyer and the Devil
asap-salafi: Pied Piper of Hamelin

Nethilia fucked around with this message at 08:46 on Feb 1, 2015

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leekster
Jun 20, 2013
I'm in.

Uh I'd like to use Beowulf. Unless that isn't fairy tale enough.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


leekster posted:

I'm in.

Uh I'd like to use Beowulf. Unless that isn't fairy tale enough.

Not a Fairy Tale, that's an Epic.

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER
In, and because I'm feeling dicey choose the tale for me.

leekster
Jun 20, 2013

Nethilia posted:

Not a Fairy Tale, that's an Epic.

I choose The Bronze Ring. An Arabic Fairy Tale.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


ZeBourgeoisie posted:

In, and because I'm feeling dicey choose the tale for me.

Little Brother and Little Sister

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

In with The King of Elfland's Daughter

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition



That's a novel, not a fairy tale. Roll again.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Nethilia posted:

That's a novel, not a fairy tale. Roll again.

It's a long fairytale.

Crab Destroyer
Sep 3, 2011
In and requesting a fairy tale from a judge.

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

I'm bokeh, you're bokeh
In with Vasilisa the Beautiful.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


Capntastic posted:

It's a long fairytale.

It's a novel. Roll again.

Crab Destroyer posted:

In and requesting a fairy tale from a judge.

The Girl Without Hands

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
In, with Jack and the Beanstalk.

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

In more with Bearskin

wigglin
Dec 19, 2007

In with a :toxx:

Conjure me a tale.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


Pete Zah posted:

In with a :toxx:

Conjure me a tale.

The Wolf and the Seven Little Kids.

thehomemaster
Jul 16, 2014

by Ralp

Crab Destroyer posted:

In and requesting a fairy tale from a judge.

Me too, please. This one sounds fun.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


thehomemaster posted:

Me too, please. This one sounds fun.

King Thrushbeard.

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES
So since Broenheim was gracious enough to offer me a line-by-line, I'm gonna pay it forward. Who wants a Bennycrit?

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

b l o o p

Ok, I'm in, hit me.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

In. Puss In Boots.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


curlingiron posted:

Ok, I'm in, hit me.

The Golden Bird

Benny the Snake
Apr 11, 2012

GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES

curlingiron posted:

Ok, I'm in, hit me.
What story?

Savagely_Random
Jan 28, 2015

THUNDERDOME LOSER
In with The Emperor's New Clothes.

SadisTech
Jun 26, 2013

Clem.
In with The Dirty Shepherdess no get your mind out of the gutter it is intended literally

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT
Grimey Drawer
In - please provide me with a tale to rip the entrails out of and wear in an unfashionable style.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


Fumblemouse posted:

In - please provide me with a tale to rip the entrails out of and wear in an unfashionable style.

The Fisherman and His Wife

Grizzled Patriarch
Mar 27, 2014

These dentures won't stop me from tearing out jugulars in Thunderdome.



In. Let's see what you've got.

hotsoupdinner
Apr 12, 2007
eat up
In and requesting a fairy tale.

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!
Gonna have to sit this week out.

Will take Mr. crabrock's line-by-line. It's amazing how poo poo can one get without a DH. I want to get better so I could purchase an avatar one day and keep it!

Plus, the whole getting better thing.

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


Grizzled Patriarch posted:

In. Let's see what you've got.

Our Lady's Child/Mary's Child

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


hotsoupdinner posted:

In and requesting a fairy tale.

The Juniper Tree

kurona_bright
Mar 21, 2013
I'm in for this week. Could you give me a fairy tale? :)

docbeard
Jul 19, 2011

In, with Godfather Death

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


kurona_bright posted:

I'm in for this week. Could you give me a fairy tale? :)

The Death of the Little Hen

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




In with little red riding hood

Drone Incognito
Oct 16, 2008

There are no drones here. No way no how.
I've been lurking this thread for ages, and I think it's about time that I get in.

In with Hansel and Gretel.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






chit me with chor best chot

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003
In
King Goldenlocks
http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/king-goldenlocks-a-newly-translated-fairy-tale

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Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

erm... quack-ward
in with peter pan

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