naM sdrawkcaB posted:

I'll just link to the wikipedia page for this one:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_Hearts

Variant_Eris posted:

90% of fanfiction is total and utter crap

Zenzizenzizenzic posted:

You'll pay for this injustice...

NomChompsky posted:

Someone wrote a crossover fiction between The Fast and the Furious and the Bible.

It's called 2 New 2 Testament.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9471657/1/2-New-2-Testament

CHAPPER FOUR HERE COMES PIKACHU

Chicken Doodle posted:

I present to you http://whatthefanfiction.tumblr.com/post/95473019910/legolas-by-laura-text

And quite possibly the funniest reading of it ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMbjK1m6alg

It's been an inside joke with my friends for years. Enjoy.

Zenzizenzizenzic posted:

You'll pay for this injustice...

Variant_Eris posted:

To be fair, Kingdom Hearts was basically a crappy Disney/Square Enix crossover with an annoying self-insert, a JRPG-Anime plot that no one really cared about, and a very kiddy theme.

"Darkness! Souls and feelings and darkness and stuff!"

NomChompsky posted:

Someone wrote a crossover fiction between The Fast and the Furious and the Bible.

It's called 2 New 2 Testament.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9471657/1/2-New-2-Testament

CHAPPER FOUR HERE COMES PIKACHU

quote:

Colin looked off the Whose Line stage as Wayne Brady did a doo wop improv song about Andy Dick. As he did so, he realized that someone he admired was in the audience admiring him.

Sitting there in his meth lab getup with his cock out of the zipper, fully erect, was Walter White.

Through the negro spiritual blasting its intense and patented Brady sound throughout the laugh stadium everyone found themselves in, Mochrie was still able to make out a single phrase amongst the stomach tremoring laughter filling up the orifaces of everyone in the studio.

"We have to cook"

quote:

As the cripple fell in slow motion down the stairs, hearing the beautiful sound of Wayne Brady's voice and how it elicited leagues upon leagues of raucous laughter, he became further crippled. The stairs were breaking parts of his body doctors couldn't even identify upon his gimp birth, and in turn, he became a mega cripple.

When his lank, broken body finally reached the bottom where his father and Colin stood, Walt Jr. had already been dead for 5 minutes.

"JESSE NO," Walter yelled, clearly forgetting that he actually had a son.

Colin broke the drama with his kind, beautiful Canadian voice. The first time he had been able to speak 1 word during the show thus far. He said, "Since he fell head first, guess he finally got a leg up on the world."

The crowd roared. There was applause and laughter and projectile defecating and women in labor who weren't even pregnant, obviously miscarrying some sort of egg cluster reject fetus monster that the hilarity of the joke caused to form within their whorish wombs. It had been the best joke ever told on Whose Line Is It Anyways? and all of the studio audience not only knew this instantly, but it would be etched into their brains until the very day they die (from diabetes).

Drew Carey stood up from his desk, pantless, and pointed at Colin. He shouted, "IT'S YOUR LINE. WE FOUND THE ANSWER."

And with that, Colin Mochrie had been proven as the second coming of Christ, effectively showing that all the hard religious work and sexual experimentation of the Whose Line staff had been worthwhile. Walter White was also eventually proven to be the Antichrist, forming what would soon become NBC's best rated sitcom in history.

The End.

Irish Joe posted:

This thread would suck less if you guys posted excerpts.

quote:

Team Possible had just entered Drakken's lair because he was threatening the world with a machine that could blow up the weather or maybe it was space.

quote:

Within seconds, the two powerful wizards had taken off their robes and wizard hats, and were pouncing on each other like Kavus.

Len posted:

Fine. You want excerpts? I'll give you excerpts.

While I play online games with a friend whenever he gets lost or is taking forever to load I boot up Fanfiction.net and read him lovely lovely stories.

Kim is a Closet Lesbian and so is Shego


Duel Sex: Jace vs Chandra


That second one is certainly a thing. I'm pretty sure those two were made to be terrible on purpose but they got laughs out of us when I found them.

Variant_Eris posted:

Also, if you're posting an awful fanfic, make sure that it does not revolve purely around porn, you complete asshat. I'm sure we've all had enough talk of that for a lifetime.

That loving Sned posted:

What's the longest fanfiction? How about the longest written by a single person?

Zenzizenzizenzic posted:

It was, and is, a beautiful work of outsider art.

Variant_Eris posted:

quote:

He sat behind him like he did everyday. He was wearing his usual leather jacket, pink t-shirt, and blue jeans looking fine and juicy as always. Who is he, you might ask? He is Bulk, aka the most beautiful creature Skull has ever laid eyes on. Even more beautiful than Kimberly.

The teacher was droning on about something Skull didn't care to pay attention to. But how was Skull supposed to pay attention with that beautiful sex god known as Bulk sitting in front of him. Everyday he sat and stared at the back of his friend's head, oggling the greasy hair pulled back in a ponytail that Skull fantasized about roughly pulling as his rotund friend thrust into his scrawny bod.

Boxman posted:

Does the fictional setting of "some suburban mall" make this Fan Fiction enough? Because it's definitely art.

Live Action Sora vs. Roxas

Len posted:

My bad. I didn't really think it would count as porn since it's not erotic in the slightest.

Variant_Eris posted:

It's fine. It was more of a polite request, because I feel like porn doesn't make for an interesting conversation. It's about two fanfic characters doing each other with a lot of awful writing mixed in. Move along.

Chocobo Nights posted:

Tifa came, all over Chicabo's arm, and then collapsed. "Oh.... Your really good!" Said Tifa as Chicabo licked the cum off of her arm. "Mmmmm, Best cum I've tasted in a while!" Chicabo got up and mounted Tifa in the 69 position. "Now, we do each other!" Chicabo plunged her thung into Tifa's oval office. Tifa raises her head and does the same, as well as stroking Chicabo's rear end with her hands. Soon, muffled moans could be heard on both ends of Chicabo. "mmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm MMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MM MM m MMMMMM!" They both cum into each other's mouths. "MMM, I love the taste of you Honey!" "I like yours too, except, it tastes different than usual, almost like some vegetable." "I put Greens in my pussy!"

later on posted:

"AAAAHHHHHHH! OHHHHH! IT'S SO FURRY! OH OH OH OH!"

oh no posted:

Something shoots out of Tifa's oval office and onto Chicabo's lap. "W... What was that?" "Congratulations Honey, It's a girl!" "WHAT???!!!!!!!!!" Chicabo shows her a tiny yellow chocobo. "She's.... Mine?" "Yep!" "But... but that's impossible!" "Not many people know that humans can bear chocobo young, it only takes a few hours, they don't even need an umbilical cord. I found out by accident, when i dropped one of my tampons in the Greens, one thing led to another, well, you can guess the rest.

the fic's dates posted:

Updated: Dec 28, 2002 - Published: Jul 29, 2002

The Metal Gear wiki page on Substance (release date segment minus HD version dates) posted:

Xbox
NA November 4, 2002
EU March 7, 2003
PlayStation 2
JP December 19, 2002
NA March 3, 2003
EU March 28, 2003

Variant_Eris posted:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8240891/1/Fate-Zero-Sense

Silver2195 posted:

As someone who doesn't read Marvel Comics, I have to ask: Is Deadpool that annoying canonically?

Sham bam bamina! posted:

If laughing at that is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Screaming Idiot posted:

Even without reading your fiction yes, yes he is. It's literally canon that one of his greatest assets is to be so annoying that nobody can focus on fighting him.

He's basically 4chan: The Superhero (minus the pedoporn),

Variant_Eris posted:

Worst of all, is the fact that this badly-written piece of crap has its own TV Tropes page. It baffles me how people can look at this stuff and say "Wow, that's really good! You're a fantastic writer!".

It's like that PokeWars fanfic all over again.

Screaming Idiot posted:

Could be worse. At least it's not Pokégirls.

quote:

The story of a boy, a fox, and a whole lot of ecchi…

Kevin Swift has the worst luck with women. It’s not that he’s unattractive or even unpopular. He just can’t talk to them. He blames it on all those Shōnen love comedies he enjoys watching. Fortunately, or unfortunately―depending on who’s asking―Kevin’s love life is about to start looking up.

After saving a fox’s life Kevin discovers that he actually rescued a Kitsune, a shape-shifter capable of transforming into a beautiful girl who appears to have popped right out of the pages to a Shōnen manga. Her name is Lilian, and she apparently wants to mate with him.

Between dealing with an overly amorous vixen’s zealous attempts at getting into his pants, his inability to talk to girls and school, Kevin is going to have his hands full.

quote:

Surun and Aura, two young females from the world of dragons, are thrilled to be part of the student exchange program to attend college on the human world of Earth. But when they unexpectantly go into their mating heat, they are forced to turn to their one real human friend for help.

But is shy, nerdy Jericho up to the challenge of two horny dragon women twice his size?

pentyne posted:

I weep for the death of literary culture.

Variant_Eris posted:

Unfortunately, literary culture has gone to smoke itself to death with lung cancer. Please leave a message right after the beep.

The mystery genre needs to come back, dammit.

That loving Sned posted:

What's the longest fanfiction? How about the longest written by a single person?

bewilderment posted:

People realise that My Immortal is intentionally parody of bad Harry Potter fanfiction, right? Like, you'd have to be pretty dense to not realise that a main character named Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way isn't a bit of a pisstake. Even hive of bad writing and groupthink SCP Foundation only got as bad as 'Dr Kain Pathos Crow'.

For a truly insidiously bad fanfiction of Harry Potter, you want Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. It starts out as what could be a competently written what-if story - "What if Petunia, Harry's aunt, married a top scientist instead of Vernon Dursley, and raised Harry appropriately?", and gentle poking at some of the more nonsensical bits of Potter. Instead it turns into smug atheism, violence for no actual reason, and rape threats from 11 year old Draco Malfoy while he's on the train to Hogwarts.

The writer is also head of the 'Machine Intelligence Research Institute' which is about as scientific as a Bible-approved science textbook, including a re-invention of religion and hell based on the idea of a future machine god that would be able to reconstruct you from the mark you left on the world and would torture infinite AI copies of you for not donating to its creation, and so you should donate to MIRI now to stop it doing that because it knows you're helping it.

Senior Woodchuck posted:

Imagine, if you will, Daria Morgendorfer studying for a semester in Japan.

Imagine that she is essentially switching places with her Internet friend, Ami Mizuno, who, unbeknownst to her, is secretly Sailor Mercury.

Imagine that, so as not to leave Japan undefended, the Sailor Scouts draft Daria into their number as the new Sailor Mercury.

Imagine that, at the same time, an insane nationalist faction of the Japanese military steals an experimental war plane and goes on an orgy of violence because reasons.

Imagine that, also at the same time, the plane taking Ami to America is hijacked by Arab terrorists who fly it into the Lawndale homecoming game.

Imagine that, in the wake of the crash, the Lawndale Militia attempts to conquer the town.

Imagine that Beavis and Butthead are at the game for some reason, and take advantage of the chaos to attempt to rape Daria's sister, Quinn.

Imagine that there is a completely superfluous Japanese superhero called the Solar Warrior.

Imagine that this is all taken very seriously by the author.

Imagine that people spend a lot of time introducing one another.

Imagine that the author is a diagnosed Asperger's patient who has never heard the phrase "kill your darlings".

Imagine that one of those darlings is an appendix almost as long as the fanfic itself, which is easily the length of a Tom Clancy novel, for largely the same reasons.

You still haven't imagined anything one-tenth as painful as Peter Guerin's magnum opus, "The Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkrieg Debacle." An entirely appropriate title.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here: http://outpost-daria-reborn.info/fanfic/the_misery_senshi_neo-zero_double_blitzkrieg_debacle.html

pentyne posted:

I think it was Stephen King who dismissed fanfiction as ultimately harmful to budding writers because for many of them they develop too many bad habits of working within established franchises and are not able to generate good original fiction.

Nckdictator posted:

Have a source? I'd love to read that.