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spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Boss, BIG FAT GIANT OBESE OVERWEIGHT MARIO keeps eating the drugs. We gonna go bust at this rate.

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ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Happy Bear Suit posted:

nyahhh I'm a gangsta see

BRETT "THE HITMAN" HEART ur jobs to run the underground gambling ring and to make sure that the mole people gamblers and chuds do not escape to the surface by keeping them in debt via their gambling addictions

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014
i wanna be a part of "the" family. i'm tired of being nothing but the son of a blue-collar schmuck, tired of it

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Monkey Fracas posted:

how about i give you a name OP

BIG SITTIN MARTY

whoa whoa whoa don't try to get that guy to stand up!!

whaddya crazy ya big cannoli cmerree

thats a good name thank u

ur name is

MICKY JEGGINGS and ur assignment is to do pat downs on ppl that are meeting w/ the dons and godfathers. but ur way to thorough and take a overly long time and every once in a while u just kind of tenderly hug the person and pat them on the back lovingly. then they break down crying and u say there, there it will be alright gently. thats how the mafia makes friends

scopes
Jun 5, 2004

spud posted:

Boss, BIG FAT GIANT OBESE OVERWEIGHT MARIO keeps eating the drugs. We gonna go bust at this rate.
boss don't listen to this mook jabroni I's guardin the pucks like you said or whatever

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Cnut the Great posted:

i wanna be a part of "the" family. i'm tired of being nothing but the son of a blue-collar schmuck, tired of it

GOOD AT MATH DONNY ur the mafias accountant bc nobody else knows math. u better not be skimming off the top or its curtains for u!!! not that wed ever figure it out bc we basically have 2nd grade educations lol but its all good we trust u donny we trust u naively w/ 100% certainty

Bike without wheels
Jan 2, 2005

this post
can i be squishy steve

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Bike without wheels posted:

can i be squishy steve

CRUNCHY CARL ur don of the whole northwest granola operation

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer

ilikedirt posted:

thats a good name thank u

ur name is

MICKY JEGGINGS and ur assignment is to do pat downs on ppl that are meeting w/ the dons and godfathers. but ur way to thorough and take a overly long time and every once in a while u just kind of tenderly hug the person and pat them on the back lovingly. then they break down crying and u say there, there it will be alright gently. thats how the mafia makes friends

I like it

this character has legs

Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.
I call it the milky way when I haven't jacked off in a long time and bust off a long ropey load I dress up in a swirl like a cinnamon roll

the damn Ruskis are back
Jan 25, 2006

And blew, Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came!
oi im just a good ol irish boy from the bronx but i got the stuff, i really do.

MUSCULAR BEAVER
Dec 26, 2014

HENDO! HENDO!
PUBES MALONE is a good name

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

The Kraken posted:

I call it the milky way when I haven't jacked off in a long time and bust off a long ropey load I dress up in a swirl like a cinnamon roll

MUSCULAR THIGHS DANIEL ur hired muscle, specifically thigh muscles

joxxuh
May 20, 2011
hit me with that 'fia name ild

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

efnii posted:

oi im just a good ol irish boy from the bronx but i got the stuff, i really do.

FRONTY MCREARY ur a hamburglar

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014
i wanna be a made man, op

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


mookface posted:

I need one

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

MUSCULAR BEAVER posted:

PUBES MALONE is a good name

FRANK STALLONE u are silvester stallones lesser known brother who occasionally appears in movies and has low level musical aspirations. also u are one of the most prolific mafia hit men in all of history and looking into ur glassy sharklike eyes sends a chill down even the coldest mens spines

Literal Carehaver
Oct 20, 2014

by Cowcaster
graagrhgh robblesnarlgeeee

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

joxxuh posted:

hit me with that 'fia name ild

BRAD ur job is to man the laundromat business front for the teddy bear drug operation

Padical
Nov 29, 2004
Yo, can I join and be called Sticky Fingaz?

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Bobert Bobertson posted:

i wanna be a made man, op

TURTLENECK JIM ur in charge of counting the money and making sure the girls who cook up the cocaine are sexy and look sexy in their cocaine cooking bikinis. unfortunately u have a weird neck that looks like a turtles neck but thats good bc it keeps the bikini girls at a professional distance

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

BIG RED McCRACKEN u are advisor to the godfather on affairs mostly dealing with the incredibly complicated heirarchy of the mafia and mafia ettiquette and heraldry

bunky
Aug 29, 2004

can i put my prostitution ring on ilikedirt

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

hello mafia :)

Harakiri Potter
Oct 18, 2004

REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY
tell me how to mafia op

Dr. Scheme
Apr 28, 2013

hello I would like to join your gang

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Literal Carehaver posted:

graagrhgh robblesnarlgeeee

GODFATHER TONY "THE BABY" VINCIENTE u are leader of the rhode island mafia the mafia family that occupies the smallest land area in the continental US.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Padical posted:

Yo, can I join and be called Sticky Fingaz?

ROTTEN TOM ur job is to stab ppl

Bobert Bobertson
Apr 1, 2014
look boss just let me get enough coke to pay for my neck shortening, its really gross

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle
my gangster skills would be finding shoes that dont get stained very easily and baking

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Lucky Guy posted:

hello mafia :)

FRIENDLY JAMES youre head of extortion and protection rackets. make sure u have plenty of rackets tgey are available at sporting goid stores such as dicks (no homo) or sports authority (no homo)

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

is BIG FAT GIANT OBESE OVERWEIGHT MARIO one of those ironic names too?

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW
Are we being recruited for some sort of ARG?; because I did not sign up for that.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Harry in Rio posted:

tell me how to mafia op

its really easy u just gotta be mean to ppl and say stuff like ayyy and badabing and mama mia etc

ur mafia name is NEW GUY ROY ur a seasoned mafia veteran that offers advice in the form of sicilian witicisms

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Fagmaster posted:

is BIG FAT GIANT OBESE OVERWEIGHT MARIO one of those ironic names too?

no unfortunately

i am very concerned about his weight

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

Dr. Scheme posted:

hello I would like to join your gang

GANG BANG FENG u run all the gang bangs and are in charge of the porn business operation and also ur main job tho is to put japan style censoring on all the porn

Flavor Truck
Nov 5, 2007

My Love for You is like a Truck
Did you bring the goods.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting
ok i need to go to sleep )thankfully not with the fishes heh... heh... heh...)

even mobsters have to sleep fellas!!!

pictured above: candid photo of notorious mobster Al "Cup of Joe" Capone caught napping peacefully

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Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


poast

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