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mysterious frankie
Jan 11, 2009

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
*chews up brisket, discharges wet bolus of pummeled meat into squawking father's face*

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mysterious frankie
Jan 11, 2009

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
That was actually how my parents are in restaurants, but it's also mostly what I did while unemployed.

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


Masturbating on and off for last 4 hours. My cock has friction burns.

FormerPoster
Aug 5, 2004

Hair Elf

Riosan posted:

Well I could be looking for work but I just bought a PS3. I think we all know what the right choice is :cmon:


Not only this, but I hear from several of these people that the only reason that I haven't found a job is that I'm not going to enough places and just dropping off resumes willy nilly. And now I hear that <10% of jobs posted online are actually filled by online applicants? gently caress :smithicide:

I used to get that bullshit about dropping off resumes in person too. You know what happened when I tried it? Everyone told me they don't take paper resumes. The only people who give that 'in person' advice are parents who still think its the 1970s.

EDIT: But my favorite line was always 'just go somewhere and tell them you'll work for free, then once you've impressed them enough they'll hire you as a full employee.' Why the gently caress would they do that if I already agreed to work for free? Also needing money to actually survive is important but imo the futility of the endeavor outweighs the pointlessness.

AllPraiseToAllah
Oct 30, 2014

MegaGatts posted:

When I was looking for one after being unemployed for four months I averaged about two hours a day. All at home though. In 95% of places if you show up physically and drop off a resume or something they'll still make you email one to HR and possibly fill out an application on line.

Your standards are too high. I see help wanted signs at every fast food joint I go to.

AllPraiseToAllah fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Jan 6, 2015

Last Buffalo
Nov 7, 2011
Lol, does everyone in GBS work at Walmart or something? Put on a tie, get a job with benefits and some responsibility, then backstroke through the pussy juice. It's not that hard.

"Waaa, I spent 10 minutes applying for a low skill job on a corporate website. Why don't I have a great life already"

Hungry Joe
Nov 27, 2006

DDFH

Naerasa posted:

I used to get that bullshit about dropping off resumes in person too. You know what happened when I tried it? Everyone told me they don't take paper resumes. The only people who give that 'in person' advice are parents who still think its the 1970s.

This x100

withak
Jan 15, 2003


Fun Shoe
Today's equivalent of dropping off resumes in person is calling up people you know in your field to see if they are hiring.

HCFJ
Nov 30, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.
I've been looking for a job for 3 months and have literally no idea what I'm doing. Places don't take paper resumes, online classifieds never get back to me. Is the only way to get a job in 2015 America to be referred by a friend? What if I have no friends?

Edit: I'm talking bullshit jobs too. Grocery stockboy and poo poo like that.

sexy young infidel
Nov 13, 2014

Faggot of the Year
2012, 2014
Put out 100 resumes a day

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe

HCFJ posted:

I've been looking for a job for 3 months and have literally no idea what I'm doing. Places don't take paper resumes, online classifieds never get back to me. Is the only way to get a job in 2015 America to be referred by a friend? What if I have no friends?

Edit: I'm talking bullshit jobs too. Grocery stockboy and poo poo like that.

Yes, you need friends these days to get a good job.

Unless you are really good at unix

HCFJ
Nov 30, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

Arian_Samurai posted:

Yes, you need friends these days to get a good job.

Unless you are really good at unix

I *have* friends, but none of their workplaces are hiring. Nepotism has failed. Also notice I said nothing about the job being good.

Vin BioEthanol
Jan 18, 2002

by Ralp
Where's the posting/blogging from a $3000 gaming-rig about community-college-marxism/guaranteed wage section? (possibly while cosplaying in ur posts/blog to be a minority)

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

HCFJ posted:

I've been looking for a job for 3 months and have literally no idea what I'm doing. Places don't take paper resumes, online classifieds never get back to me. Is the only way to get a job in 2015 America to be referred by a friend? What if I have no friends?

ehhh, depends but probably. having friends owns. i got mine through an eng internship while in grad school, because i was referred by a professor since it wasnt even advertised :toot:

whats your previous experience like? honestly if you have non/poo poo past experience, just fake that poo poo since you're applying to bullshit grocery jobs and hope the hr person there is also a lazy lowpaid millenial whose too scared to call to check references. better than getting it in the void i suppose.

City of Tampa
May 6, 2007

by zen death robot
The problem with America is that poor people just aren't trying hard enough and their lives are too easy. Have they no bootstraps?

killaer
Aug 4, 2007
Hahahahahahahsha hahahahahahahsha resumes hAHahahahahah who cares

krampster2
Jun 26, 2014

haven't read thrad no time gotta get this joke in quick

POSTING ON THE SOMETHING AWFUL FORUMS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!

Riosan posted:

Not only this, but I hear from several of these people that the only reason that I haven't found a job is that I'm not going to enough places and just dropping off resumes willy nilly. And now I hear that <10% of jobs posted online are actually filled by online applicants? gently caress :smithicide:
The only times you can do that are for retail and food service jobs and it's still no guarantee.

Incredulous Dylan
Oct 22, 2004

Fun Shoe
How are so many people in this thread able to work out AFTER jerking it?!

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

Naerasa posted:

I used to get that bullshit about dropping off resumes in person too. You know what happened when I tried it? Everyone told me they don't take paper resumes. The only people who give that 'in person' advice are parents who still think its the 1970s.

if you tried to drop off a paper resume where i work theyd get creeped out and tell you to leave. if you were insistent at all theyd call the police

yea basically if you dont know someone you are hosed

the only other decent way to do it if you have no connections is a staffing firm, and if you dont have pretty useful skills and experience you are still hosed

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

seriously tho if you are struggling to find any work imo the best way to do it is job agencies and staffing firms. if you can get an interview with them they will have better luck trying to place you than you will throwing yourself out randomly to places

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
You guys need to apply to the local Marxist coop and work for potatoes or second hand shoes.

Pendent
Nov 16, 2011

The bonds of blood transcend all others.
But no blood runs stronger than that of Sanguinius
Grimey Drawer

TEAYCHES posted:

seriously tho if you are struggling to find any work imo the best way to do it is job agencies and staffing firms. if you can get an interview with them they will have better luck trying to place you than you will throwing yourself out randomly to places

My girlfriend and I moved to a new city because I was offered a pretty kickass job. She struggled for several months to find work in her field. Eventually she gave up and gave a temp agency a call.

Literally her first placement hired her for a job better than the one she had left.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
every job ive had in the past 10yrs has come from either networking or craigslist. both typically involve far less bullshit without having to create a new account for every company u apply to and/or copy and paste ur beautiful pdf resume into a digital meat grinder that will turn it into an unremarkable lop of poo poo

and if ur lucky enough to get called in for an interview that isnt an outright scam take a loving xanax (or a beta blocker) or something so u can ace that poo poo...remember ur life and future is on the line, no time for gently caress ups. good luck!

Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Jan 7, 2015

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


I keep losing out to "internal candidate"

gently caress you guys, if you were just going to hire someone internally why did you waste my time for 3 interviews

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
does anyone remember that thread from a little while ago where that HR employee goon was like "if you don't specifically tailor your resumes for each and every interview then you aren't even trying and don't desrrve a job" lol

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008


I've had like 13 interviews since September, no call backs.

i look good on paper by my grotesques appearance must be loving me over.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

Tsinava posted:

does anyone remember that thread from a little while ago where that HR employee goon was like "if you don't specifically tailor your resumes for each and every interview then you aren't even trying and don't desrrve a job" lol

never met a single HR person who was undeserving of me wishing disease and misfortune upon. i really wouldnt if they didnt personally buy into that type of poo poo as gospel being some lower level drone but they always seem to, and typically make a joke out of some p desperate people sending poo poo their way. my current job was initially sent a completely copied and pasted cover letter with no more than five words changed that was also created months before when I was prob drunk casually watching Jail on Spike TV at 2:30am while banging out applications in a stupor.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


posting on gbs

Dick Fagballzson
Sep 29, 2005
So unemployed people spend their days sleeping, drinking beer and watching the Maury show. Riveting stuff.

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


Threads like these make me feel like some kind of awesome super job getter. I've got every job I've applied for since 1996, except for one (in 2003, doing accounting for a record store, but I really didn't have the accounting experience at the time).

MLKQUOTEMACHINE
Oct 22, 2012

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

open container posted:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/...&abt=0002&abg=1

lmao it's like 2% looking for work 50% watching tv

That's not that surprising consiering that it's real easy to search for a job, especially when you're in a certain fiel an there are so many jobs open in your region

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
poverty kicks rear end if youre ok with dying alone at any age or have a highly introverted gf

MLKQUOTEMACHINE
Oct 22, 2012

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

TEAYCHES posted:

if you tried to drop off a paper resume where i work theyd get creeped out and tell you to leave. if you were insistent at all theyd call the police

yea basically if you dont know someone you are hosed

the only other decent way to do it if you have no connections is a staffing firm, and if you dont have pretty useful skills and experience you are still hosed

man when i was fresh out of college and decided that working in a museum was a no-go i turned to a staffing firm and spent the next several months playing a runaround with getting them to place me anywhere. like i've got 3 years of office work experience via jobs i did during college and i still had trouble. staffing firms are real dicey.

eventually i just got a gig with my aunt helping her catering company while i do random intermittent work on the side so i can put away cash for grad school

nepotism and social networking is really the only way to get a decent job these days unless you're in some really high-demand field :v:

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Shithouse Dave posted:

I've got every job I've applied for since 1996,

well you certainly weren't applying for jobs where you needed any writing skills

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

nothing wrong with that sentence but im from texas

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

joblessness for me was spending about an hour a day looking at one of three websites and seeing that nothing new has gone up in the small segment of work i had any qualification for. then the rest of the day was for drinking and rap music.

i have a job now where i get plenty of posting time, but not so much for drinking and rap music.

Dick Fagballzson
Sep 29, 2005

nutranurse posted:

man when i was fresh out of college and decided that working in a museum was a no-go i turned to a staffing firm and spent the next several months playing a runaround with getting them to place me anywhere. like i've got 3 years of office work experience via jobs i did during college and i still had trouble. staffing firms are real dicey.

eventually i just got a gig with my aunt helping her catering company while i do random intermittent work on the side so i can put away cash for grad school

nepotism and social networking is really the only way to get a decent job these days unless you're in some really high-demand field :v:

Nepotism helps a lot. I'd probably still be broke and unemployed if my stepmother hadn't had a position open up at her logistics company. I don't think most employers even look at applications from random people from the internet tbh.

MLKQUOTEMACHINE
Oct 22, 2012

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Dick Fagballzson posted:

I don't think most employers even look at applications from random people from the internet tbh.

i honestly have my doubts about it too.

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Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


Crusty Nutsack posted:

well you certainly weren't applying for jobs where you needed any writing skills

Actually I edited and published stock market analysis for a little over a year until I realized I hated everything about finance and quit (in late 2007 lol). Sorry my forums posting isn't up to APA standards tho I guess.

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