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*titties w a football between em or something but they man titties*
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Jan 14, 2015 04:31
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:00 |
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*A well kept smoking room, Victorian or possibly Tudor in design. A prim and proper English gentleman quietly strolls across the room before reclining in a beautiful leather chair. He slowly lights a pipe in complete silence and then takes a short drink from a glass of whiskey. Setting the glass down, he turns and looks towards the camera. In a quiet, reserved voice he simply states "2015 Cricket World Series" before smiling slightly and reclining. Seconds later Drew Brees runs in from offscreen and crushes the gentleman in a bone-shattering tackle before screaming "SYKE" and headbutting a nearby bookcase. One of the books falls open to reveal the NFL logo.*
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Jan 14, 2015 04:31
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*A carefully selected palatable and relatable black couple gasp in horror from the stands as their baby tumbles off a ledge and falls toward the field. The background fades to black leaving only the vibrant green grass and slow motion falling baby visible. Baby slowly morphs into football and is caught by a chrome textured 3D quarterback, who sprints toward the end zone. Small fighter jets bank into frame trailing blue and white smoke. They fire their missiles and veer away toward the camera. The view quickly rotates to an above view of the quarterback as he reaches the end zone and the missiles converge creating a screen filling explosion. Riveted metal letters fly out of the flames and smash into glass as if they were breaking your tv with their force. They spell out Monday night football before the flames expand and re engulf them. Fire parts to reveal anchor desk. One of the anchors is wearing a very ostentatious suit or tie.*
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Jan 14, 2015 09:11
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*A shot of two football players crashing into each other. Random explosion happens and the NFL logo appears*
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Jan 14, 2015 11:15
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*extreme closeup of Payton Manning's face* OH WA AH AH *total silence as Manning blinks in extreme slow motion* *chorus of Down With The Sickness blares out as he charges across the field through multiple brick walls. The camera follows one of the bricks from the last wall as it spins rapidly around and lands on a stage, where the singer of Disturbed picks it up and shoves it into the camera in time with the song ending. It has the NFL logo on it.*
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Jan 14, 2015 11:33
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*A bright, clear sky with beautiful clouds* *a godlike football parts the clouds, held in a gargantuan hand* *the hand is followed by the tattooed body of Chad Johnson, revealing that by changing his name to Ochocinco, then changing it back, he has been deified* *the leviathan football comes into contact with the United States, cratering the entire midwest and sending a shockwave seen from a horizontal angle annihilating entire countries* *the screen fades to black. A gravelly voice announces, "INK. Not Mink." The PETA logo appears and the entire scene is revealed to be part of a strategically slated Super Bowl commercial*
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Jan 14, 2015 14:10
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*the year is 31389, the last football game is being played, one player goes for a field goal but throws the ball into deep space, forever spiraling into the cosmos* *trillions of years pass and all matter has been reduced into background radiation, all except that football, around which the infinite begins to compress* *a new big bang begins, forming a football-shaped universe with the letters 'NFL' formed of the millions of lightyears of galaxies and nebulas*
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Jan 14, 2015 20:40
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Establishing shot, a morbidly obese man sits on a couch behind a coffee table full of snack food, gesticulating wildly at the unseen TV behind the camera, throwing random bits of snacks at the TV in rage and occasionally motioning angrily while appearing to yell at someone off screen, apparently behind him somewhere. After lingering on this scene for an uncomfortably long time, he suddenly clutches at his chest and falls off the table, unconscious. A slightly less obese woman appears from out of frame briefly looking shocked, then disappears. After another uncomfortably long pause, red and blue lights flash across the back wall of the scene. Jump cut to a hospital room. The man from the couch is in the hospital bed wearing a respirator as his family weeps at his bedside. The woman is holding his hand as she weeps, and the hospital bracelet is visible on his wrist. Slow zoom into a full frame view of the bracelet, on which his name is replaced with "MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL". Cut to gravestone emblazoned with NFL and ESPN logos. Pan to additional gravestones for sponsors of the game with announcer voiceover.
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Jan 14, 2015 21:51
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*the camera follows a tall, lanky, older white male, wearing a cheap gray suit, walking through a Brazilian village. It's cloudy, and humid, and the man's bare feet squish through thick mud. He is guided by a short, older woman, hunched, with stringy gray hair falling out of a scarf tied around her head. She has a scattering of teeth, yellowed and decaying, peering out of a grin which is more sinister than it is pleasant. She is missing several fingers of one hand. She leads the man to a door, and knocks twice. The door opens, and a man cracks the door, speaking Portuguese to her. They exchange words briefly and the door is opened wider. The man is lead inside, while the old woman stays outside. It has started to rain. The man is lead through the filthy hut, lined on all sides by stained, disgusting mattresses. On them sit children of varying ages. The man examines the children, and they him, pawing at him as he walks by. The Brazilian man swats their hands away, hissing something at them in their native tongue. He leads the man to a mattress in the back, where a boy sits, a strangely defiant sneer on his face. The white man stands before the child and nods. He hands the Brazilian man a small amount of money, and the guide nods to the child. The child reaches behind him, and produces a soccer ball. The man takes it, strips off his suit to reveal a soccer jersey, and dribbles the ball out of the hut and down a dirt road towards a stadium in the distance. The camera flies back to a close up zoom of the child's dirty face, as he whispers "FIFA World Cup 2014"*
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Jan 15, 2015 01:10
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Hi I'm a sports channel graphic. AMA
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Jan 15, 2015 05:19
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nucleicmaxid posted:Hi I'm a sports channel graphic. AMA What should I get ready for?
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Jan 15, 2015 06:06
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nucleicmaxid posted:Hi I'm a sports channel graphic. AMA
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Jan 15, 2015 06:28
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nucleicmaxid posted:Hi I'm a sports channel graphic. AMA what's coming up next on fox after the game?
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Jan 15, 2015 07:23
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Fake fireplace. Because holidays,
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Jan 15, 2015 08:05
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The game plays out as normal, but with no commercials. Instead, at halftime, the halftime show is replaced by fully animated version of Mastaba Snooby, with every iteration possible within the interactive fiction shown in full, in the style of the original animated specials. This takes six hours. The game continues immediately after, with no other aberration, except again, there are no commercials, and the scores for both teams are 999 to 999. doctorfrog fucked around with this message at 10:08 on Jan 15, 2015 |
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Jan 15, 2015 10:05
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swims posted:Fake fireplace. Because holidays, *Player stat windows have snowflakes falling in the background*
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Jan 15, 2015 13:46
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Applewhite posted:*Player stat windows have snowflakes falling in the background* *turkeys wearing football helmets randomly wander across screen during replays*
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Jan 15, 2015 17:48
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Camera shows a magazine office filled with editors and cartoonists going about with their daily work. All of a sudden 2 figures in ski-masks holding a massive burlap sack burst into the room. As the employees look on in shock, the 2 figures reach into the sack and pull out rubber balls. With lightning speed and monstrous strength they throw hundreds upon hundreds of balls into the office, killing the employees near instantaneously. The masked figures run off into the distance with the burlap sack, the sounds of sirens, screaming, and the thud of rubber smacking into a brick wall accompanying them. The camera pans to survey the carnage in the office. As the audience ponders why this senseless act of violence has occurred, the nearby wall is full of holes that spell out "NATIONAL DODGEBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS 2015"
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Jan 15, 2015 18:22
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:00 |
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Cheap Shot posted:What should I get ready for? SOME FOOTBALL!!!!!! CrashCat posted:why won't you get out of the way when i want to see the guy in the third row with the funny hat or the weird lady over there what is that is it a cyst? oh god gently caress no I'm not buying a car because of this ad get back to the game already BECAUSE OF AD REVENUE!!!!!!! Howard Beale posted:what's coming up next on fox after the game? SOME lovely TV SHOW!!!!!!!
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Jan 15, 2015 22:14
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