Agag posted:

The whole show is Titus Pullo.

Ramsus posted:

lmao this show sucks poo poo

Baracula posted:

Rome was better

BigBoss posted:

nutranurse posted:

the funniest thing about this show is how you've got all these uber fit muscular dudes walking around with their little wieners flopping freely

the contrast between masculinity and masculinity is great

LordArgh posted:

the actors actually wore prosthetic penises to appear larger

Kitchner posted:

This show was amazing. Someone told me to watch it because it was all tits and violence, and I saw it happened to be on one night and I out it on, is 20 minutes saw some naked bitch getting hosed on a table and a guy's head being cut off. It was awesome.

quote:

Then there's the sex. Apparently ancient Rome played host to more blowjobs than the internet. Rich couples nonchalantly screw slaves while discussing the weather. There's a lot of nudity here, and not just female nudity either. It's always dick o'clock in Spartacus land. The first time our hero indulges in a little locker-room back-chat with his fellow gladiators, the main antagonist paces around him, penis swinging proudly in the breeze.

Usually I find it impossible to hear what actors are saying during a nude scene – my brain's too busy screaming LOOK AT THEIR TITS LOOK LOOK LOOK to process anything as complex as dialogue – but here, for once, the nudity is so persistent, the mind quickly compensates for it. By episode four I was staring at orgy sequences and wondering who composed the background music.

quote:

It's always dick o'clock in Spartacus land

Double Bill posted:

you know what to do OP

Jon Do posted:

I remember almost all the women having really really bad fake tits and/or not being attractive despite being naked. Thus, without my own eye candy at some point I reached a dick maximum. Plus I thought the slo-mo poo poo in the fights and massive poorly done CG seemed like a bootleg 300 attempt. Watch what you like, my .02. No hate.

I'd also advise watching HBO and BBC's Rome. There's a bunch of gnarly rear end poo poo in it too, the fight scenes are better choreographed, and the sex is hotter. Tits better too, generally. Now that I've watched Game of Thrones first season, which is still good, Rome did it better.

Kitchner posted:

Also Marcus Crassus is the best character in the series because he's loving amazing. Dude was bad rear end.

Also if you think that's a spoiler try not watching TV shows about poo poo that's actually happened and try reading a book.

Nanomashoes posted:

"And yet when he was further on in years, he was accused of criminal intimacy with Licinia, one of the vestal virgins and Licinia was formally prosecuted by a certain Plotius. Now Licinia was the owner of a pleasant villa in the suburbs which Crassus wished to get at a low price, and it was for this reason that he was forever hovering about the woman and paying his court to her, until he fell under the abominable suspicion. And in a way it was his avarice that absolved him from the charge of corrupting the vestal, and he was acquitted by the judges. But he did not let Licinia go until he had acquired her property." -Plutarch

Tweet Me Balls posted:

AFAIK crassus was mad jealous of pompey and others like him because even if you had all the money, you were still a little bitch in the eyes of the romans unless you tore rear end across the Mediterranean to get your wealth.

i haven't watched spartacus or rome but I just got done watching the show about henry the 8th having sex and the Netflix show about the mongols having smelly mongol sex (featuring Marco polo) so maybe roman orgy show is next to round things out.

nutranurse posted:

this is the image some crazy roman carved into a block of stone: a bipedal cock cumming with a smaller cock into an evil eye/onto a scorpion. For, ya know, good luck.

its just goes w/o saying that its good luck to cum in any evil eye

Kitchner posted:

It was more the fact that Crassus wasn't of noble birth. All the noble families had the huge lineages and old money and we're influential people. As such all the generals and senators were chosen from noble families.

Crassus basically rose up from nothing and became the richest man in all of Rome. Usually no one would give a poo poo what is essentially a merchant had to say to a noble general or senator, but when that man is the richest man in the world you kinda got to listen.

Boogoose posted:

Crassus was pretty cool but you have to admit that his tactic of fighting Parthians by hoping they'd just run out of arrows is pretty dumb