Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?
I'm the Gene Simmons Doraemon in the background.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Blistex posted:

When the red guard attempted to embolden the high school students the principal walked right up the the red guard ringleader and told him to shut up. The red guard went to strike him with his club and promptly got punched in the chest and doubled over. The principal bellowed, "I've killed enough Japanese devils and Yankee aggressors to fill fill 100 graves. What have any of you done for the party? These men (high schools were predominantly male teachers) are trying to prepare you to do the same, get on your knees and apologize!"

Every molecule in my body wants this to be true. Never doubt old nigga strength!

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?
:siren: ATTENTION CITIZEN! YOUR gently caress RESERVES APPEAR TO BE DEPLETED. YOU MAY EXPERIENCE AN INABILITY TO GIVE ANY FUCKS. PLEASE BE COOL AND CONTINUE STRUTTING. :siren:

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Cthulu Carl posted:

Why bother? Hold a team building exercise to see who can come up with the dumbest, most absurd plans until China Co figures out what's going on!
Also be sure to save China Co.'s email where they are super mad about it, and how you are at fault because you gave them plans that aren't good enough to steal. :lol:

Also:

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

JaucheCharly posted:

Somebody dig up that article about that TCM pyramid scheme.
I'm almost a week late for this, but gently caress it: http://thinkafricapress.com/uganda/get-rich-or-die-trying-chinese-herbal-medicine-death-sentence-uganda

Supplemental reading: http://aeon.co/magazine/health/james-palmer-traditional-chinese-medicine/

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

etalian posted:

It also got overthrown and disrupted by foreign invaders multiple times.
Who were inevitably Sinicized and thus retroactively became Chinese. Because Chinese culture is apparently a memetic virus. Fnord fnord fnord, la-li-le-lu-lo.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

madeupfred posted:

The last time I was in China, one of the guides spent at least three days explaining the concept of anime and how she wants to marry Detective Conan. It was very endearing but also sad because she really truly loved this anime lad.
http://healthland.time.com/2012/11/27/autism-and-air-pollution-the-link-grows-stronger/

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Wee Tinkle Wand posted:

There is a hotel near me that for some reason is the place to stay if you're a businessman and need to do NYC stuff but don't want to stay in NYC itself and they have a whole Asian stand near the lobby that has a section with Chinese stuff, a section with Korean stuff and a section with Japanese stuff because otherwise they can't sell any food to the Asian guests at all. Those guests won't even take the cheap/free breakfast with coffee, they want noodles from their home country or apparently they just starve?
http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/2013/dec/22/chinese-tourism-changing-the-world

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Stick Insect posted:

I think this is happening because of what happened in 2008: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Chinese_milk_scandal

The idea that such a large quantity of contaminated milk powder slipped past safety checks.

Safety checks? Wha? :smith:

There was no QC. They deliberately added the melamine so they could cheat the protein content tests and pass off their product as high-protein milk powder. Whatever FDA inspector equivalent was probably paid to look the other way.

So it goes.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

BONGHITZ posted:

What kind of drugs do chinese people do?

weed? heroin? coke? meth?

crazy other drugs that i might like to try?

Shitloads of Special K: http://motherboard.vice.com/blog/the-great-k-hole-of-china

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

WorldsStrongestNerd posted:

In most parts of East Asia the idea that South East Asians should be treated humanely is still new

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Sheep-Goats posted:

The best instant noodles are the Mama brand ones from Thailand BTW.
Fuckin' truth. Just eat the sour tom yum flavor every time. Every. Time.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

effectual posted:

Isn't :420: illegal in China?

^Well Frisco is famous for its Chinatown...
Technically yeah, it's illegal, but weed doesn't really register on peoples' radar in China, for some reason. Every now and then you'll see a Uyghur dude smoking up in public, but weed isn't really a thing. Special K and meth are the drugs of choice here.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

caberham posted:

I blame Henan. The most populous province and the one which gets all the blame for everything.
Henan is so 'hood, not even modern plagues will gently caress with it.

Seriously though, serial killer capital of China, jesus christ.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Accretionist posted:

Chinese man eating rice, early 1900s:

And that's just white rice. Imagine how hype he would be if it was fried rice.

poo poo, now I want fried rice. The place across where I lived in Dongguan had fried rice with bits of five-spice pork, that poo poo was bomb.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?
This is the basic translation process in China:
1. Look up foreign word in dictionary. Quality and age of dictionary is irrelevant.
2. Take the first synonym you find. The first one, no matter what it is, because it's obviously the best one. Why else would it be listed first?
3. Move on to the next word in the sentence. Repeat until you have run through the entire text.
Optional: Once text is finished, move words around so that they make a little more sense. (Spoiler: The translator will never be paid enough for this to happen.)

Bhodi posted:

I had normal poop in China. Were you eating stuff cooked in sewer oil or something?
You will notices that most Chinagoon anecdotes are about nasty air, watery shits, constant staring, street making GBS threads, and repeatedly being HALLO-ed at. This is because about 85% of Chinagoons live in peasant-infested, grey-skied armpits, for some reason.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Arglebargle III posted:

corn
chilis x 1000
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to explain to someone from Hunan that chillies are originally a New World crop, along with corn and tomatoes.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Lucy Heartfilia posted:

I've also heard the the tape recorder thing about teaching foreign languages in Japan. What the gently caress is wrong with the people who thought this is a good idea?
Actual answer:
Probably because they're trying to shoehorn language studies into the 'rote memorization' route that dominates most Asian education systems. I believe there were situations where parents and administrators reprimanded teachers for doing things like skits, show-and-tell, etc. because "they're not learning, just playing". You don't run into these problems at the better private or international schools, of course.

Comedy answer:
The so-called foreign 'language' is merely a series of strange noises that foreigners seem to think mean something. Simply follow the script regurgitated by our authentic foreign noise dispenser, and you can get more business and increase your salary.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

syscall girl posted:

Telling you specifically that this little prick or another is going to help you feel better.
I hear the same pitch is used by PUAs as well.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Sheep-Goats posted:

The Chinese subs at the end of Spartacus have guy after guy standing up and proclaiming "Chairman Mao was more wrong than he was right!" and that's why t they got crucified.
Only 30% of them, though.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

The Saddest Rhino posted:

cetal rectal suppositories

mopidick lotion

Mopey Dick Syndrome is no joke, my friend.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Modest Mao posted:

yo those in this thread living in China with citizenship elsewhere, why not pack up (or pack your families up) and get the gently caress out ?
Because the cost of living is low enough that even on an American entry-level salary you can save poo poo-tons of money.

Although I agree there are other countries in Asia where you can do the same thing and not deal with a society still recovering from the social traumas of the Cultural Revolution.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Sheep-Goats posted:

IMHO the opposite is actually the problem. They know the grammar rules in an abstract sense but don't have any words to say.
I feel that the most common problem with scrub-tier ESL learners is that they hear, but do not listen. They are looking for a very specific sequence of foreigner noises, and that's their cue to respond with the sequence of foreigner noises they memorized. If you go off the beaten track in a conversation, things grind to a halt pretty quickly.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

etalian posted:

chinese make sense when you realize they are the russians of the east.
I dunno though, Russians seem more aggressive and consistent with their nationalism.

Most Chinese racism I've encountered usually stems from the person not having a loving clue on how to deal with anything beyond their home town/province. This is a trait I usually associate with bland, awkward WASPs from Middle America.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Gibberish posted:

Seems like the Wild West of ESL
China is the Wild West of everything. Absolutely zero fucks given.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?
The Ogling of Post-90's Beauties by the Lecher Rene Chang

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?
Honestly, if you told incoming Western expats that living in China is like "The Beverly Hillbillies" in real life, they'd adjust to it much quicker.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Gorilla Salad posted:

Okay, these two mother fuckers right here are dope as gently caress.
Halabojis ain't give a gently caress, struttin' down the street, peepin' all the fine young yoojas at the market.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Gibberish posted:

i almost wretched
The toppings, I can mostly look past. But every single one of these is going to have the most wretched, cardboard-like dough possible.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Tuxedo Gin posted:

i recently learned, from terrible taiwanese pop music, that chinese has a specific word that means what those anime/drama guys do where they pin a girl against a wall which i guess is supposed to be romantic: 壁咚
http://www.marycagle.com/letsspeakenglish/77-romance-101

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Arglebargle III posted:

don't confuse profession of belief with belief.
A key point to keep in mind if you want to work/live in Asia without losing your mind.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

goldboilermark posted:

Jacques keeps coming back to "the world becoming more Chinese". Like what is that supposed to mean? We all ignore intellectual property rights everywhere? We avoid any kind of uncomfortable situation with embarrassingly dumb and transparent lies? We can sleep for two hours every day after lunch at the expense of everyone around us? When it rains literally everything shuts down? We can just pee in plastic bags wherever we want? What part of this 5,000 years of continuous civilization is China going to bring to the rest of the world, I wonder
He probably means/hopes that more governments will adopt authoritarianism with Chinese/Singaporean characteristics. Strong, decisive governments that Get Things Done, run by Hard Men who make Hard Decisions.

So much better than representative democracies, soooo slow and indecisive, and this one time people I didn't like/agree with got a chance to vote.

I wonder if you drilled down a little, maybe you could find the exact cultural/demographic shift that frightened him enough to switch into "Man, democracy sucks!" mode.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Haier posted:

I don't know what the big deal is. A stick sits in a gym doing nothing. She has a generic north face/chin and flat/thin hair. I would still plunge, but I don't see the appeal. Then again, most Chinese men have no idea how to women and it would explain the attention on these photos.
Based on what I've seen and from Magna Kaser and gbm's gym anecdotes, East Asians and exercise usually results in hilarity. I've got Japanese expats here doing like a billion hammer curls with 2kg and their forearm moves like, 10 degrees. It's like the training room for the Onanist Olympics up in this bitch.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

waitwhatno posted:

This was in reply to a guy who claimed that sportclothes are consumerist crap and how great it is that chinamans just go on random runs in their work clothes, in the middle of the day.
What's the Chinese equivalent of "Vinnie, you smell like an anchovy's oval office. Take a fuckin' shower."?

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?
Are we seriously min-maxing pussy ITT?

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Shayu posted:

It is pronounced as "dong guo"
Wo shi Dong Guo ren

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

The Great Autismo! posted:

I don't think people realize what a challenge it is in China on a daily basis to complete even the most simple of things. after taking forums user Moneyball to the train station I was taking the subway home and there was a group of people trying to shove one yuan bills up the machine where the ticket comes out from. Like three people shoving bills in a place that is marked "please take your ticket". I helped each person purchase a ticket and it was just the most foreign thing to them even though it was clearly marked in Chinese. Sometimes there are no words
As funny as I find the 'goblin camp' analogy, I really do think that living in China is more like being stuck in a never-ending episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies". Just all of these hilljacks from Nowheresville suddenly thrust into modern living. Hilarity ensues.

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Ceciltron posted:

Tupperwarez posted:

As funny as I find the 'goblin camp' analogy, I really do think that living in China is more like being stuck in a never-ending episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies". Just all of these hilljacks from Nowheresville suddenly thrust into modern living. Disasters that could have been prevented with a modicum of forethought ensue.
fixed that for you
Expanded on your helpful revision to emphasize the sitcom analogy.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Tupperwarez
Apr 4, 2004

"phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Grand Fromage posted:

Yeah this is a 100% accurate analogy.
Also, everybody is Jethro.

Every.

Body.

  • Locked thread