Nice guy thread

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1000 Sweaty Rikers: Oct 13, 2005

*prints a 3D version of her head in secret*

# ? Jan 12, 2015 12:00

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:35

Maldoror: Oct 5, 2003; by R. Guyovich; Nap Ghost

girls only like big dumb obnoxious bullies

r. crumb says

# ? Jan 12, 2015 12:00

Hingehead: Nov 24, 2013

Al Cowens posted:

I think you�re lying, because my desire to believe that nerds are balls of pure goodness oppressed by 80s-style cartoonish jock villains cannot countenance the idea that nerd men could ever do anything wrong, ever. Never mind that the movie epitomizing the nerd/jock dichotomy I lean heavily on features a nerd raping a woman in an act of revenge, which is treated like a triumph instead of an act of violence.
Despite saying he�s steeped in feminist discourse, you will find that the only feminist whose name he appears to remember is Andrea Dworkin�s, i.e. a woman modern day feminists reference rarely (if ever) but misogynists tend to obsess over because they want her to be the spokeswoman for feminism.
Having to explain my suffering to women when they should already be there, mopping my brow and offering me beers and blow jobs, is so tiresome.
This is a critical passage, because it really lays out his thesis: That fear of rejection is a male-only experience, and one that is so awful that any suffering women have endured through history is a mere pittance compared to it. The possibility that women want love and attention and worry about being humiliated and denied simply has never occurred to him. I have some theories as to why.
I was too busy JAQ-ing off, throwing tantrums, and making sure the chip on my shoulder was felt by everyone in the room to be bothered to do something like listen.
I believe that women and gay men do not experience either sexual desire or fear of rejection, mostly because I haven�t considered the possibility that people not exactly like me have internal lives and desires of their own.
I skimmed through feminist literature and got angry when I realized that they were going to spend all their time yapping about women�s problems, instead of getting onto the real problem that they, as women, are obligated to solve. Which is how to get someone to touch my cock without making me work at it.
Unwilling to actually do the work required to address my social anxiety�much less actually improve my game�I decided that it would be easier to indulge a conspiracy theory where all the women in the world, led by evil feminists, are teaching each other not to gently caress me. Because bitches, yo.
There are many women out there who are also crippled by social anxieties who would prefer to hide in their hobbies and interests. The difference is a) they can�t blame the entire opposite sex instead of themselves for their mental health issues and b) when they actually try to turn those interests and hobbies into professions, they are told by various social forces, both explicitly and implicitly, that their femaleness means they will always be second-rate at best. Being able to hide in mathematics is, in fact, a privilege, because it is one that has long been and continues in many ways, denied to women.
I�m not a doctor, but I can imagine that it�s nearly impossible to help someone who is more interested in blaming his testicles, feminism, women generally, or the world for his mental health problems than to actually settle down and get to work at getting better. Perhaps actual therapists might want to weigh in on how you handle cases like this.
This is a common theme: He isn�t failing himself. Women are failing him by not showing up naked in his bed, unbidden.
It�s unfair that I can�t just go to the wife store and buy the latest model.
I have no doubt that men who spend their dates flirting with women instead of demanding that the answer for something Andrea Dworkin wrote 35 years ago do, in fact, get laid more. What�s interesting is Aaronson doesn�t seem to grasp that some of that rear end-grabbery might be, you know, consensual. Because that would be admitting that women have sexual desires like he does, as opposed to being sex-dispensing machines who have been broken by feminism and their own inherent female wrongness.
I�ve completely absorbed the idea that dating nerds hurts your social status, so I only pay attention to women I have nothing in common with while turning my nose up to women who share my interests. When those women inevitably reject me, I refuse to accept that it might be because they don�t share my interests, but instead choose to believe that it�s because they are fundamentally broken and therefore must be attracted to men who are bad for them. I categorically refuse to accept that any of my romantic rivals might actually be okay guys. I also categorically refuse to accept that women have a right to have sex with who they want instead of dole pussy out like it�s gold stars for getting good grades.
I wouldn�t call it hidden. And it�s entirely possible that said �Neanderthals� are not acting entitled but are flirting and trying to impress women they�re interested in, which suggests that they understand that they aren�t owed but that women should have to want it, too.
In other words, his problem was not feminism or women, but his crippling unwillingness to put himself out there. When he got over that a little and actually started to interact with women, he discovered that they were not actually the man-hating hell beasts he believed.
However, he continues to be unwilling to believe that he was the one with a problem, and prefers to believe that it�s women and feminists in particular that are out to get him. He is utterly unwilling to accept that what happened was he overcame a personal problem and instead imagines that he defeated a cabal of man-hating feminists that exist only in his mind.
The eternal struggle of the sexist: Objective reality suggests that women are people, but the heart wants to believe they are a robot army put here for sexual service and housework.
While continuing to build your social and sexual identity around this specific conspiracy theory.
I say that women aren�t to blame, but look at them! They gently caress men who aren�t me. Clearly they are screwing up.
I reluctantly claim to believe women are equal, but clearly I believe they are a bunch of bitches who have denied me. Denied me.
You can have the vote, I guess. But you are failures for not loving me.
The notion that women respond with enthusiasm to having someone sexually assault them will not be moved by any number of Hollaback videos. He needs to believe that women did not gently caress him not because of anything he did, but because women are fundamentally broken, as a gender. No evidence otherwise will penetrate.
We deserve all the pussy cookies and you women, being broken, keep failing to provide the pity fucks we have earned by pretending, badly, not to hate you.
He�s not equating them. He�s definitely suggesting that having to learn to speak to women instead of having naked women show up in your bed by magic is worse than being raped. You know, because people pity you if you�ve been raped. They may even pity gently caress you, which is clearly all he ever wanted.
He really has a problem with women reacting normally to objective facts about the world, doesn�t he?
I am not buying the argument that his mind was ever actually open to hearing from women about their experiences, lest that disturb his belief that we never suffer rejection, anxiety, or fear.
Despite my claim to be afraid of women, I feel powerful enough around women to decree whether or not a woman�s response is acceptable or not, based strictly on how much it flatters me.

I was nice enough to read this rambling wall of text.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 12:09

Bozza: Mar 5, 2004; "I'm a really useful engine!"

Can one of you nice guys link me to the original printer post? I see it referenced all the time but have never read it

# ? Jan 12, 2015 13:12

Torka: Jan 5, 2008

I used to have a copy but I got rid of it after the guy killed himself because it seemed in poor taste to continue after that

I'm sure someone'll post it though

# ? Jan 12, 2015 13:14

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

I'm swole and alpha.

*dunks this thread in the toilet*

# ? Jan 12, 2015 13:15

Bozza: Mar 5, 2004; "I'm a really useful engine!"

Torka posted:

I used to have a copy but I got rid of it after the guy killed himself because it seemed in poor taste to continue after that

I'm sure someone'll post it though

I did not know he had topped himself. Now I feel sad and bad

# ? Jan 12, 2015 13:30

itsgotmetoo: Oct 5, 2006; by zen death robot

Borky posted:

A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.

I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.

By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed.

After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that

To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall.

This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door.

So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.

he is still carrying her printer in heaven.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 13:39

Diesel Fucker: Aug 14, 2003; I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.

Luckily I've never been refered to as a "nice guy" it's usually "that ugly oval office"

# ? Jan 12, 2015 13:46

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Universe Master posted:

I'm swole and alpha.

*dunks this thread in the toilet*

yeah well when your girlfriend realizes what a jerk you are, she'll come running to me

# ? Jan 12, 2015 14:16

.lnk to the past: May 3, 2005; psoting while drunk

"veddy nice" -- borat

# ? Jan 12, 2015 14:18

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

itsgotmetoo posted:

he is still carrying her printer in heaven.

Sad thing is she probably did appreciate and if he wasn't so dead set on "doing stuff in the hope of touching girl flesh" he might have had an actual friendship there.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 14:19

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

Shadoer posted:

Sad thing is she probably did appreciate and if he wasn't so dead set on "doing stuff in the hope of touching girl flesh" he might have had an actual friendship there.

"Friendship? Fri---"

:inarticulate huffing and puffing with outrage:

# ? Jan 12, 2015 14:38

Instruction Manuel: May 15, 2007; Yes, it is what it looks like!

Hingehead posted:

I was nice enough to read this rambling wall of text.

I wasn't and won't.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 14:42

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

Wicker Man posted:

"Friendship? Fri---"

:inarticulate huffing and puffing with outrage:

Right I forgot, friendship with a member of the opposite sex is the worst thing ever. It's just a guise so that she can taunt you sexually while you try and figure out how to get out of the friendzone. Unfortunately jumping from the friend ladder to the relationship ladder is so difficult that only a fool would ever attempt it.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 14:47

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Your boyfriend doesn't even open the door for you

# ? Jan 12, 2015 16:04

I am Toni Lippi: Aug 16, 2004

Nice guy? I'd say that I'm the perfect gentleman.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 16:21

Kimmalah: Nov 14, 2005; Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

Lasher posted:

Luckily I've never been refered to as a "nice guy" it's usually "that ugly oval office"

No one calls guys who ramble on about being in the friend zone genuinely nice, that's just what they call themselves.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 16:59

n4: Jul 26, 2001; Poor Chu-Chu : (

I've been a really good friend to you. You're obligated to have sex with me. If you don't you're a bitch.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 19:36

NiceGuy: Dec 13, 2006; This is my BOOMSTICK; College Slice

gently caress off you all get the gently caress out of my thread

*combs lock of hair snipped from 8th grade crush's head*

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:02

CISMALES DID 9-11: Jun 5, 2002; chaotic good STEM major; INTJ

*keeps a running tally of all favors done and creates a spreadsheet estimating value of favors in terms of sexual acts*

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:05

Wooten: Oct 4, 2004

So maybe I could hang out later and make an rear end of myself for ab hour until you have to have your friend text you so you can pretend you have something important to do. You loving whore.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:07

Console Role Player: Sep 15, 2007; Snooch to the Gooch

Could some one please post that pic of the fat pimply goon sitting on the floor across from a girl he clearly has a crush on. It's in a dorm I think and they're having a cheese and wine party or something.

That pic cracks me up every time.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:19

Console Role Player: Sep 15, 2007; Snooch to the Gooch

Haha foul wench! I've caught you in my logical trap! Now provide me with the sex or reveal yourself as the slut bitch you are!

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:23

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Just like those jerk jocks, I only want you for sex. Unlike them, I am also dishonest and insincere.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:26

Hingehead: Nov 24, 2013

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd2aNEHKj1o

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:27

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Applewhite posted:

Just like those jerk jocks, I only want you for sex. Unlike them, I am also dishonest and insincere.

Also physically unattractive and annoying.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 20:32

GBS Ambassador: Oct 31, 2013

I'll suck everyone's dick except yooooooooooooou

# ? Jan 12, 2015 21:01

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

GBS Ambassador posted:

I'll suck everyone's dick except yooooooooooooou

If I were an attractive woman with a "nice guy" acquaintance it would be difficult to resist the temptation to say exactly this.

# ? Jan 12, 2015 21:15

Al Cowens: Aug 11, 2004; by WE B Bourgeois

# ? Jan 12, 2015 21:15

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

GBS Ambassador posted:

I'll suck everyone's dick except yooooooooooooou

Whyyyyyy?

# ? Jan 13, 2015 00:53

itsgotmetoo: Oct 5, 2006; by zen death robot

Gaunab posted:

Whyyyyyy?

you're really sweet and funny it's just that underneath you're basically a sociopath

# ? Jan 13, 2015 00:55

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

B-but I love you

# ? Jan 13, 2015 00:59

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Gaunab posted:

B-but I love you

*spoken in a whisper while watching her ride off in a corvette with another man*

# ? Jan 13, 2015 01:01

Wearsyourgodnow: Jul 21, 2009

pretend i copied and pasted the 100 page manifesto that MRA spree killer wiener wrote

edit: 140 pages hahahah http://www.scribd.com/doc/225960813/Elliot-Rodger-Santa-Barbara-mass-shooting-suspect-My-Twisted-World-manifesto

Wearsyourgodnow fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Jan 13, 2015

# ? Jan 13, 2015 01:04

Kimmalah: Nov 14, 2005; Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

Wearsyourgodnow posted:

pretend i copied and pasted the 100 page manifesto that MRA spree killer wiener wrote

edit: 140 pages hahahah http://www.scribd.com/doc/225960813/Elliot-Rodger-Santa-Barbara-mass-shooting-suspect-My-Twisted-World-manifesto

*throws a drink at you and runs away*

# ? Jan 13, 2015 01:18

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

What women really want is a butler that tries to have sex with them

# ? Jan 13, 2015 01:30

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Yeah of course. Someone who knows they're special, will hold the door for them...smell their hair...

# ? Jan 13, 2015 01:36

PurdWerfect: Aug 29, 2000

If you could only comprehend the depths of my feelings for you, your heart would melt and you would be happy to fulfill my skewed fantasy of you rather than forcing me to see you more as the person you actually are.

# ? Jan 13, 2015 01:43

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:35

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

I masturbated to the thought of you

# ? Jan 13, 2015 05:38

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Nice guy thread

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