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 Just loving stop barking whenever the lead comes out, I know everyone else in this house reinforces you for it but it doesn't get the lead on any faster and probably actually makes it slower!!! ETA Also I can cut your nails without you literally dying so let me do that you dumb gently caress.
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Feb 23, 2015 08:07
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 04:47 |
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stop barking at literal shadows you old, deaf, half blind, arthritic piece of poo poo
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Feb 23, 2015 10:43
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Oh you're such a loving bad rear end when you see a cat outside? You wanna fight all the cats?  Such a tough dog at home where the cat literally makes you her bitch every time you interact. Also, keep your loving dirty rear end paws off my bed in the morning.
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Feb 23, 2015 21:30
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Squee and Noodles, y'all are too dumb to kill a mouse. I'm pretty sure you thought it was a toy, and you got bored with it. Spoiled assholes. Squee, just because you can see a little bit of the bottom of your dry food dish does not mean you get to be a little poo poo about waking me up. There's still food in there, loving eat it. Get back to me when it's finished. Noodles, shut the gently caress up already. You're a cat. We get it. And learn to keep your claws in. Squee is dumb as poo poo, and he can do it. Work on that.
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Feb 24, 2015 09:47
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drat it Queenie GET UP IN THE MORNINNNGGGG!
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Feb 25, 2015 13:09
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Gremlin that was a shard of broken glass why the gently caress were you swatting it around why did you want to cut your paw on it what the hell Gremlin?
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Feb 25, 2015 17:23
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Mocha, when I comment that I haven't seen you throw up in a while that's not an invitation to immediately show me how well you can hork
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Feb 25, 2015 18:55
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STOP RUNNING INTO THE loving DOOR AT 2 IN THE MORNING
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Feb 26, 2015 15:30
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LUTHER: You are not living up to your namesake, the bbc on BBC. I swear to loving god, allah, and juju you are such a dumbfuck sometimes. BE MORE SMART, CAT. My feet are not cool hangout spots for cat bros. I was sad that I stepped on your foot this morning, but I thought it might finally teach you a lesson about ninja-ing up to my feet. I was wearing shoes and, judging by the way you yelled, it really hurt. What was your takeaway from the experience? DUHR, THE KIBBLE BIN IS BAD so you run and hide under the bed when I open the lid on your food storage now. YOU ARE ALMOST THREE YEARS OLD and make the weirdest bridges about cause and effect. Is this why all the redirected aggression spazz outs? NEURO SHITLORD. Is this why you were abandoned at two weeks old? Could your mom smell the stupid in you? 
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Feb 27, 2015 03:31
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Jessie I understand you are less than a year old and prone to post-poo zoomies but please stop zipping back across the yard and stepping in your own turd before I have a chance to pick it up 
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Feb 27, 2015 03:39
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Arriviste posted:Is this why you were abandoned at two weeks old? Could your mom smell the stupid in you? Just look at that stupid little loving face. Of course she could. I can smell the stupid radiating through the screen.
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Feb 27, 2015 08:04
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Lola if you continue to react to my alarm by shrieking and leaping toward my face, I will punch you. Again. It's your own loving fault, dickhead.
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Feb 27, 2015 08:05
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Boo you are a adorable little creature, but for stop the constant loving finger biting. I'm trying to scratch you to make you happy, don't show your joy by clamping onto a cuticle and chewing for all you're worth you little bastard.
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Feb 27, 2015 12:35
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 Peanut the food tastes just as good when I give to you as when you steal if from Snoopy's mouth you loving idiot, it's the same piece of carrot. Also stop pooping on the one specific carpet right next to your toilet, I know you do it to show us who's boss but gently caress you.  Snoopy, the paint on the walls and the legs of wooden furniture are not your chew toys you poo poo-for-brains imbecile, you have a giant buttload of hay and a dozen other crappy things for that. And jesus christ climb all the way into the litter tray for peeing, leaving your rear end hanging out and pissing on the floor is the stupidest loving thing out of all the stupid loving things you two do. 
Prawned fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Feb 27, 2015 |
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Feb 27, 2015 15:53
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Prawned posted:And jesus christ climb all the way into the litter tray for peeing, leaving your rear end hanging out and pissing on the floor is the stupidest loving thing out of all the stupid loving things you two do.
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Feb 27, 2015 20:25
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 Jerry, Please please stop pooping so much, I know you are huge but you poo more than a dog twice your size would and unlike a dog you do it in a litterbox where I have to scrape it up.
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Feb 28, 2015 04:40
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Seamus, you shat IN the router, you glorious retard.
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Feb 28, 2015 05:10
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Holy_Zarquon posted:Seamus, you shat IN the router, you glorious retard. What? 
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Feb 28, 2015 05:12
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Malachite_Dragon posted:What? Pretty much exactly like it sounds. Explosive diarrhea, a whole bunch of it right into the vents of the router. He really was mentally retarded though.
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Feb 28, 2015 05:31
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You hate me? OK then, so I hate you too!  I saved you from life on the streets and you give me no thanks. No cuddles, no pets, just poop. You are a fatass and only talk to me when you're hungry. Otherwise you're hiding under the bed or in that hole you tore in my box springs.I ought to throw you out on the curb if this is how much you appreciate me you dick! I had your balls cut out, so I've already been more responsible than the average pet owner. Or I should leave the door open all day. You can't stand me? Then GTFO.
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Feb 28, 2015 19:24
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Hurley, if you wake me at 530 in the morning again when I have to wake up at 615 to get ready for work , I will rip off those huge derpy ears and beat you to death with them. Mommy works 12 hour shifts, you gigantic piece of furry poo poo. She needs all the sleep she can get!! I should quit my job and you will be forced to eat cheap rear end dollar store kibble, ya prick. Also, Buffy, the gently caress?????? If I am calling for you to go out, go the gently caress out. Don't wait til I go upstairs to sneak down and poo poo in the porch. Seriously dog??? Seriously??? I know you are old and don't have much fur, but come on, douche.
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Feb 28, 2015 22:51
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Sterling Mallory Archer, you fat piece of poo poo. It's bad enough that our roommate over feeds you, and you bitch and moan constantly if you don't get your daily 'too much food', and you're mean to the other cats (up until they stand up to you, then you run like a coward haha), and you poo poo outside your litter box as some kind of loving protest whenever roomie is gone for longer than 12 hours, but now you're sharpening your claws on my wife's leather sofa, and teaching the other cats to do it. I swear, I loving swear to Jesus tittyfucking Christ if I ever catch you in the act, your cute fluffyness will not save you, and I will have a brand new pair of slippers. Fuckhead. Yeah, you better run and hide.
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Feb 28, 2015 23:06
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Holy poo poo Poyo, you are not loving starving if you haven't had breakfast by 6. Stop loving yowling in the hallway, for the love of god. And Fatfat, quit loving barfing on the radiators. The barf bakes on and it's a bitch to chip off. Also, disgusting. drat cats.
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Feb 28, 2015 23:46
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Harriet, stop loving loving bullying the dog! It is her dog bed, not yours. It is her water bowl, not yours. It is her food, not yours. All your poo poo is in your cage, with your literal poo poo! Also, the dog is like 30 times as big as you, and will gently caress your poo poo up. EDIT: Also, stop peeing in your water bowl you stupid gently caress!
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Mar 1, 2015 04:22
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Quinn, stop pissing on the floor you loving moron. You have a whole goddamn backyard for that
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Mar 5, 2015 06:45
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What the gently caress are you doing? No really, what the gently caress are you doing 
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Mar 5, 2015 13:36
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JohnnyCanuck posted:What the gently caress are you doing? Feline yoga obvs
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Mar 5, 2015 14:32
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lazy as fuk cat 1 Edit: Fat gently caress cat 2 
Prescription Combs fucked around with this message at 05:31 on Mar 7, 2015 |
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Mar 7, 2015 05:24
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 Katarína you stupid dumb idiot BITCH stop tearing all my posters, stop EATING MY HOMEWORK, and for the love of god STOP WAKING ME UP AT FIVE loving AM goddAMN
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Mar 9, 2015 18:48
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She's just upgrading your Periodic Table with the element of surprise.
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Mar 9, 2015 19:57
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Sheila, stop banging on the door to the music room at THREE IN THE loving MORNING. There's nothing in there for cats.
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Mar 9, 2015 21:14
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gently caress you Francis Wolcott, enough. God forbid if my date and I pop in a dvd, you stare at my guest like a loving psychopath and then  attack. So instead of enjoying "Guardians of the Galaxy" , I am performing triage followed by making excuses for you."He's a great cat once you get to know him ohh let me apply another Snoopy bandage." I am tired of cleaning up after you. You are ruining my chance at a decent relationship. Have you noticed that only the crazy ones come back? Sane and healthy women will not put up with this loving madness in this house. You maniac.
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Mar 10, 2015 15:24
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Max Lucy  
Ramsus fucked around with this message at 06:21 on Mar 11, 2015 |
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Mar 11, 2015 06:19
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 helo why do you cost so much like, how can i be almost 6k in the hole and why do you have to have the most obscure presentation of addison's disease ever so we have been going to different vets for a year and you almost became blind wtf also your farts are horrendous and that thing where you bark in my ear when i'm asleep makes me want to murder you plus you're fat and you only eat like 1 cup of food per day and i know that's cause you're sick but gently caress it's embarrassing soap. fucked around with this message at 09:01 on Mar 12, 2015 |
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Mar 12, 2015 08:58
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 Ally. We do not have invisible zombie hordes roaming around our house. You do not need to bark at the movement of grass and the existence of small animals all day. Also you stink. How do you manage to stink immediately after a bath? Is this a mutt superpower I was unaware of? You're lucky you're cute. < >
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Mar 12, 2015 10:22
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 don't look sad about your muzzle at me you piece of poo poo, this is what happens when you bite someone.
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Mar 12, 2015 13:37
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 Neon, you goony rear end in a top hat. You spend all day looking cute but your fur is so black that I can't take photos of you with my cellphone and when I finally get my good camera out for the first time to take some nice photos of you, you reveal your true greasy, neckbeard self.
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Mar 15, 2015 04:50
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Your dog may actually be Slavoj Zizek.
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Mar 15, 2015 09:49
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you people can't even do it can you "oh Fido your hair is so lustrous it makes it hard to photoblog you with my DSLR!!" you disgust me
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Mar 15, 2015 12:11
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 04:47 |
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woah poo poo threads getting meta
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Mar 15, 2015 13:28
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