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Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!


What is this?
This is Crypt Worlds: Your Darkest Desires Come True. A game that assumes you already know it's trash and works with that. In fact, Crypt Worlds couldn't care less what you think about it. It doesn't have to please you. The developers flat out lie to you about how the game will play and what to expect. Just look at the instruction manual. The graphics are deliberately messy and the sound feels disjointed all hiding the fact that this is a labor of love. I mean, there IS original sound design and there IS original artwork.

That's the thing about Crypt Worlds. It tries to fool you into thinking that it doesn't care, but there was so much invested in its design. The puzzle pieces weren't lazily fitted together. There was meaning to it.

And I love it.

That's great, but what IS this?
Let's call it an adventure game.
An adventure game about routine and video game tropes.
...and pissing.
...and disturbing dream geometry.



This looks... Strange.
Why would you want something normal?
Normal is boring.

Alright, what's the plan?
I'm going to lead you through the Crypt Worlds slowly, casually, and holding back as much irony as I can. There's no reason to rush. I'll give you a tour of the different areas and then we'll start working on the multiple endings from good to bad to worse. The text is small, so I'll have to read it to you, but I must warn you, I failed reading comprehension in high school.

Update tempo will be every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I do not know how long the process of touring will take.

What about Spoilers?
Spoiler Tag it. The game depends on experience, so it is very hard to spoil the game anyway. If you find something new that I don't know about, I'm super hyped to hear it. Especially if you know how to talk to sky pilgrims or defeat that drat coffin in the tunnels. (But we'll get to that).

Can I play?
Yeah, man. The game is free and stuff. Here's a link to the official page.



Okay, it time to grab your bergs and fill up on pee.

Let's Play Crypt Worlds.

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Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!
Videos











The Bonus Video

Grimwit fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Feb 3, 2015

dancingbears
May 10, 2011

You're an idiot,
so start acting
like one.

Huh. Yeah, I think I'll be watching this. Let's see where this goes, ironically.

bawk
Mar 31, 2013

I can read the text perfectly fine in the video, so you really don't have to read it out loud for the videos. It really slows things down, and I want to see as much of this insanity as possible.

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

death .cab for qt posted:

I can read the text perfectly fine in the video, so you really don't have to read it out loud for the videos. It really slows things down, and I want to see as much of this insanity as possible.

Sorry, but I plan to continue, if for no other reason than to practice my reading skills.

The good news is we'll get to everything in time. Be at ease.
There's more content in the Crypt Worlds than one normally sees from a Unity game. And there's no need to rush.

Bible Ian Black
Jul 16, 2009

I'M THE GUY
WHO SUCKS

PLUS I GOT
DEPRESSION

death .cab for qt posted:

I can read the text perfectly fine in the video, so you really don't have to read it out loud for the videos. It really slows things down, and I want to see as much of this insanity as possible.

I'm actually legitimately unsure if the LP would benefit from having the narration removed. It seems too appropriate.

Also what the gently caress is this guy's beef with Archaeologists? They like bones and ancient civilizations, for gently caress's sake!

thomawesome
Jul 19, 2009
I worked as an archaeologist and all of those statements they say are true.

thomawesome fucked around with this message at 07:12 on Jan 13, 2015

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

All I know about archaeologists is that when kids see dinosaurs in a museum and someone asks them "what do you want to be when you grow up?" some of them will answer "An archaeologist so I can study dinosaurs!" :eng99:

...Maybe that's why there's so many unhappy archaeologists. Wrong job choice.

Sessile
Feb 27, 2008

Caught a couple of "streams" of this game, and am unironically looking forward to seeing this.

RickVoid
Oct 21, 2010

Carbon dioxide posted:

...Maybe that's why there's so many unhappy archaeologists. Wrong job choice.

This. They are the poor bastards who didn't figure out that archeology very rarely has anything to do with cool poo poo like dinosaurs and usually doesn't pay poo poo.

I should watch this video at some point, I guess. I have it on good authority there is no rush.

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

RickVoid posted:

I should watch this video at some point, I guess. I have it on good authority there is no rush.

It's like the opposite of the Flywrench thread.

Can I offer you some herbal tea? A cookie perhaps?

thomawesome
Jul 19, 2009
A good portion of my job was digging holes on the side of an interstate. Of course archaeologists are bitter.

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!
Hello, people.
Do you like pee?
Cuz it's time to rate our pee.

bigass jncos
Dec 3, 2007

Ridin' on a Mershaq back.
What is the underrated web comic, Natch Evil?

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

bigass jncos posted:

What is the underrated web comic, Natch Evil?

It wasn't underrated.

Natch Evil was my web comic for 11 years and one I considered a failure. Too much mess and not enough focus.
Now, I use the website as a hub for all my projects, including my Let's Plays, which is why I end my videos with my logo.

If you're curious, take a look, but I warn you; I'm not good at finishing big projects.

bigass jncos
Dec 3, 2007

Ridin' on a Mershaq back.
What would you have done differently to focus the storyline?

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

bigass jncos posted:

What would you have done differently to focus the storyline?

Yes. Yes if I had done things differently I would have focused on one story line.
But I wanted to do everything all at once, which meant I kept losing sight of the story over and over and over. So nothing got finished.
Not Saffron's story. Not Sherry's. Not Devil Joy's.

I was young.

Soooo...

If you want to talk more about this, (and I appreciate the attention) I would recommend PM'ing me, because in this thread we're discussing the avant-garde masterpiece that is Crypt Worlds.

:crossarms:How can we relate to peeing on a door until it opens, for example. (Shower of gold?)
:crossarms:What does trash say about life and the struggle of the ignorant masses. (Sky Pilgrims know all)
:crossarms:Will archeologist find self worth? (Hint: No)

That sounds about right.

Onwards!

EagerSleeper
Feb 3, 2010

by R. Guyovich
Can you pee in the archaeologist effigy, and stop the archaeologists who are burning inside? I'm sure they would appreciate that.

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

EagerSleeper posted:

Can you pee in the archaeologist effigy, and stop the archaeologists who are burning inside? I'm sure they would appreciate that.

I'll be honest, I didn't think of that.

Perhaps this says something about the value I place on archeologist suffering.

Hee hee. Listen to the bones crack.

I will experiment with that later.

No Gravitas
Jun 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Jesus.

Umm....

What the loving hell is this strange game?

DumbRodent
Jan 15, 2013

Heart Thumping Field Trip
BIG PANIC?
I like this a lot. This game is a magical experience that I will carry to my gravecrypt.

Teketeketeketeke
Mar 11, 2007


This is amazingly strange. I feel like I am on drugs just by watching it.
Your commentary style fits perfectly.

Bible Ian Black
Jul 16, 2009

I'M THE GUY
WHO SUCKS

PLUS I GOT
DEPRESSION
The bart simpson head analogy is good, voted 5

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!
You know what this world needs more of?

Bergs.

Let's head to Mart Donnalds and gets some bergs, guys.

Kgummy
Aug 14, 2009
I think I recall something about your spoiler requests.

The Sky Pilgrims I think you have to get use the screaming wall pilgrim as a stepping stool, and use the 3d one you can push around to get on top of that? I'm not entirely sure. I do remember someone at least trying that. And I vaguely recall someone managing it.

As for the coffin thing, I looked for a video showing off how to do it. You almost had it, just need to put your back in the walled corner while spam clicking.

Randalor
Sep 4, 2011



That was... uh... the hell am I watching, and why can I not look away?

Pyroi
Aug 17, 2013

gay elf noises

Randalor posted:

That was... uh... the hell am I watching, and why can I not look away?

1) You are watching Crypt Worlds: Your Darkest Dreams, Come True.

2) Your neck muscles responsible for turning your head have exploded, as have the muscles needed to adjust your eyes.

Kobold eBooks
Mar 5, 2007

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AN OPEN PALM SLAM A CARTRIDGE IN THE SUPER FAMICOM. ITS E-ZEAO AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE THE MAIN CHARACTER, CORPORAL FALCOM.
I like to think thecatamites would approve of being depicted as a man in a trash can.

Oh and the Nindendy that pilgrim kid was talking about might be a reference to the Dendy, which was, from what I can tell, what Russia got instead of the Famicom. This seems Russian as hell in general, but I might be wrong.

Kobold eBooks fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Jan 16, 2015

Beffica
Apr 6, 2009

by Azathoth

bathroomrage posted:

I like to think thecatamites would approve of being depicted as a man in a trash can.

Oh and the Nindendy that pilgrim kid was talking about might be a reference to the Dendy, which was, from what I can tell, what Russia got instead of the Famicom. This seems Russian as hell in general, but I might be wrong.
Dendygar himself is an edit of the Dendy mascot.

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

The short speech sound clips do not sound like complete gibberish to me. They sound like some kind of language.

Does anyone know whether it's a real language and if so, what's being said?

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

bathroomrage posted:

Oh and the Nindendy that pilgrim kid was talking about might be a reference to the Dendy, which was, from what I can tell, what Russia got instead of the Famicom.

Yup. I just finished editing that into Episode 4.
Here's a link to what the Liko looked like. (youtubez)

Chemical Bastard posted:

Dendygar himself is an edit of the Dendy mascot.

Good eye. When I first played this game, I didn't even know what a Dendy was, but some searching put me on the right track.

Carbon dioxide posted:

Does anyone know whether it's a real language and if so, what's being said?

I am 31.4159% certain it's Russian.
Anyone know Russian? I, too, would love to know what is being said.

Beffica
Apr 6, 2009

by Azathoth
There's a pretty decent series about the Dendy experience with subtitles here. I hope Dendygar lives up to the insanity that is Dendy.

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

Chemical Bastard posted:

There's a pretty decent series about the Dendy experience with subtitles here. I hope Dendygar lives up to the insanity that is Dendy.

I watched the first vid of that, and it's fantastic.

I was expecting some crappy console with their own crappy games. While that's partially true, it gets much better. The dozens upon dozens of Mario games it got... some bootlegs of the Nintendo games, other cheap romhacks. There was even a cartridge for this 8bit console that had a shine sprite on the cover.

And it's great he has to have the console sitting next to him on the table so he doesn't have to get up when he needs to press the reset button again.

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

Chemical Bastard posted:

There's a pretty decent series about the Dendy experience with subtitles here. I hope Dendygar lives up to the insanity that is Dendy.

Holy cripes, man. Thanks for that link.

I may waste all weekend watching these. The first one was great!

Crabtree
Oct 17, 2012

ARRRGH! Get that wallet out!
Everybody: Lowtax in a Pickle!
Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle!

Dinosaur Gum
I didn't know Giancarlo Esposito played video games about piss. Guess I'll have to see where all this bone planting, bug triggering and hole filling simulation goes.

Teketeketeketeke
Mar 11, 2007


At least one of the voice clips is definitely Japanese but I can't quite make it out... (the frequently-used one with the high-pitched female voice ending in "dakara")

Teketeketeketeke fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Jan 17, 2015

Grimwit
Nov 3, 2012

Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!
Time to get Weird...er...

Update Magic Happen!

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
This is a good game and a good LP. Look forward to more piss related adventures.

thomawesome
Jul 19, 2009
This is like if you tried to host a D&D campaign in the world of LSD: Dream Emulator.

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Anoia
Dec 31, 2003

"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."
CliffyB shows up as a giant nerd in game design hell, and my first thought is "yeah, that seems about right."

This game is getting to me.

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