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Frank Jameso
Nov 24, 2014
it's the exact length of a stick of starburst

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Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

proof of concept posted:

maybe pose an action figure so it's doing that "I caught a fish thiiiiis big!" hands spread apart gesture but spread the length of your cock, and take a picture of that with something else in there for scale

Frank Jameso
Nov 24, 2014

Orkin Mang posted:

no a promise, its like a thought or something.

post a really good comeback and i'll do it.

since your thoughts are so good.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
im prepared to offload the OP d jpg for 500,000 nuyen, chummer

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!
Mine is 1 inch.

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Frank Jameso posted:

post a really good comeback and i'll do it.

since your thoughts are so good.

howsabout "it's not small, it's inscrutable"

Slugnoid
Jun 23, 2006

Nap Ghost
call it your sissy clitty then its a double hate crime if they make fun of you

tote up a bags
Jun 8, 2006

die stoats die

iirc south korea has the smallest average so just point out you aint south korean

unless you are in which case

uhhhhhhhhh

Drunk & Ugly
Feb 10, 2003

GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR
tell them only sluts love big cocks so that makes their girlfriends and moms dirty sluts

then you and your friends will all be problematic

Car Hater
May 7, 2007

wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!
Go to an ivy league, stack cash, and acquire a hot wife of your preferred nationality. Pre-emptive comebacks are the best comebacks.

Frank Jameso
Nov 24, 2014

The Groper posted:

Go to an ivy league, stack cash, and acquire a hot wife of your preferred nationality. Pre-emptive comebacks are the best comebacks.

or i can just gently caress girls of all kinds of nationalities now and while i'm making cash after i finish school and then marry the one i liked best

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Look them straight in the eye and say "actually for your information yes i am a retard also i just poo poo my pants" then walk out, head held high

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN

Frank Jameso posted:

or i can just gently caress girls of all kinds of nationalities now and while i'm making cash after i finish school and then marry the one i liked best

but what's the point when you have a tiny dick?

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Spanish Manlove posted:

but what's the point when you have a tiny dick?

That's what she said.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
put fire on them

1.1% of the worlds population is even above average at all i knew it

MUSCULAR BEAVER
Dec 26, 2014

HENDO! HENDO!

Frank Jameso posted:

everyone is always making fun of me :(

my weiner is actually 5" so my usual response is "my penis is actually big for an asian", but that means getting all serious and makes me look lame. there probably isn't anything to say to that. and if i say something mean back then people think i have a small dick...it's a hosed up situation

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

i would thank them genuinely for their concern and obvious interest but i'm just not sexually attracted to them. i'm flattered, i'm sure they're great, don't worry about it, we can both the whole thing and still chill and hang out. that would make them realise that thinking about people's dicks is weird if you don't want to gently caress them.

unless i was interested in them and then say agree that it might be small right this second but it could be persuaded to grow pretty quickly given some encouragement. that would make them realise the power of the dick size was in their hands all along, like captain planet.

but for you, you should say 'my dick may be small but at least i don't have any wit'

saihttam
Apr 15, 2006
Enter sadman
tell them you have a somethingawful.com forums account

batteries!
Aug 26, 2010

saihttam posted:

tell them you have a somethingawful.com forums account

but they already know he has a tiny dick

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
tell them you aren't azn you're just retarded then they'll feel bad for making fun of some1 with a handicap

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009

Lipstick Apathy
Tell them if they make their eyes squinty and then look at it it'll appear bigger

phobo
Aug 7, 2008
fart in they mouth

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Frank Jameso posted:

everyone is always making fun of me :(

my weiner is actually 5" so my usual response is "my penis is actually big for an asian", but that means getting all serious and makes me look lame. there probably isn't anything to say to that. and if i say something mean back then people think i have a small dick...it's a hosed up situation

just punch them real hard in the crotch and make their balls pop, and say "at least i got balls"

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014




lol you can't fit that many dicks into one condoma t the same time trust me

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012

cenobites have majorly long boners w/ good girth

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

become large and strong

smoke hella weed

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

cenobites have majorly long boners w/ good girth

i think about this a lot

Frank Jameso
Nov 24, 2014
there are no good comebacks :(

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
realtalk: say its bullshit and most of those infographics you see are actually made from faked data spread by a bunch of 'race realists' whose thing is saying black people have big dicks and tiny brains, asians the opposite, and white people are the superior middle

IzzyFnStradlin
Jun 19, 2004
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this sovereign citizen stuff might be closer to the truth than we are willing to admit.
call them the n-word...the version with the hard "er".

mysterious frankie
Jan 11, 2009

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
Deal with your social issues in the traditional Japanese way; lock yourself inside a breadbox sized apartment and obsessively construct a woman shaped automaton whose only purpose in this world is to belch homogenized milk into a highball glass.

site
Apr 6, 2007

Trans pride, Worldwide
Bitch
hope you're not mentioning the 5" cuz that's still :laffo: small

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
is there nothing you can say to comfort a small dick man, nothing at all?

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
maybe this is just my big dick instincts talking here but if someone was giving me serious grief about my supposed peen length i would very aggressively challenge them to a public dick measuring contest with judges and an audience etc and really put them on the spot about it and if they dont immediately say yeah sure just jump down their fuckin throat for being a babydick pussy bitch and turn to someone else and jab your thumb in their direction and go like can you believe this fuckin human being thats exactly what i would do in your sitch op

Pladdicus
Aug 13, 2010
I don't care enough about GBS to read more than the OP


OP, whip it out.

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
most people wont just whip their dicks out they dont have bold spirits and theyll never achieve anything

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

fanged wang posted:

most people wont just whip their dicks out they dont have bold spirits and theyll never achieve anything

lol if you don't stand six feet back from the urinal and cut a piss trail right between the two betas to either side

Khorne
May 1, 2002

proof of concept posted:

maybe pose an action figure so it's doing that "I caught a fish thiiiiis big!" hands spread apart gesture but spread the length of your cock, and take a picture of that with something else in there for scale
what action figure can hold a ti-84 length wise help me out here bro

Frank Jameso posted:

there are no good comebacks :(
Just confidently make a depreciating joke.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Khorne posted:

what action figure can hold a ti-84 length wise help me out here bro

Stretch armstrong

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fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
your mom didnt care about my small dick when i was wearing her rear end like a feedbag! and then get in their face and exhale deeply out of your mouth and be like smell that bitch thats your moms rear end

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