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burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Never understood this. "Hey let me go to all this work and effort and training to put a dick in my mouth." If you want to put a dick in your mouth there are easier ways.

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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

easy

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



Did it for the first time but having some trouble trying to put it back on after

DGib
Jan 22, 2010

Prettz posted:

I bet I'm not the only one who has dreams where I'm able to suck my own dick. You know, suddenly it's long enough that I can bend over and put my mouth around most of it. As one would expect, I always notice in the dream that I can't feel anything. This situation has happened enough times that occasionally I notice the fact that I can't feel anything despite me sucking myself and suddenly know that this must be a dream.

Have this dream all the time

psyman
Nov 1, 2008
The furthest I've gotten is about 3/4 way down my penis, but that's only after a lot of stretching or after a day out, but no special training or anything. On the rare occasion where I do it, I just masturbate upside down with my head in my mouth and a few times I have drunk my own cum (not gay!!). I have a very clean penis that I exfoliate and wash with sensitive handwash in the shower and also moisturise a lot. I can also lick my own balls.

My next accomplishment will be to insert my own penis into my own butt (also cleaned out in the shower by injecting sensitive handwash and moisturised internally with Palmers Cocoa Butter, yes my anus is moisturised most of the time). I can almost get the tip in there if I twist it backwards while limp but then it gets hard and I can't bend it in.

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
Suckin your own dick mmm

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.


Buglord
I would if I could but I have no flexibility so I'll have to settle for other people's dicks

pr0k
Jan 16, 2001

"Well if it's gonna be
that kind of party..."
Where in the gently caress is the link to pt I of this thread? Fail, OP, just fail.

VectorSigma
Jan 20, 2004

Transform
and
Freak Out



angerbeet posted:

awesome cougars

Diesel Fucker
Aug 14, 2003

I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.
I heard there's more feeling in your mouth than dick so it feels more like your sucking a dick as opposed to getting your dick sucked.

Confirm/Deny

Father_Johann
Aug 28, 2008

Lasher posted:

I heard there's more feeling in your mouth than dick so it feels more like your sucking a dick as opposed to getting your dick sucked.

Confirm/Deny

Look at COCKrates getting all philosophical

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



Father_Johann posted:

Look at COCKrates getting all philosophical

look at cockrates getting all fill-ur-esophagal

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp
it does feel very sensual in your mouth but its more like when you close the circuit and alternating current of pleasure and satisfaction races thru u at the speed of light very spiritual

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
after i get my pudge in my mouth how do i get my balls out of my wifes purse

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax
One I sucked my own dick so hard that I thought I had a hernia and I went to the doctor later that week and he touched my balls and said that maybe I just had gas or something and prescribed some anti-gas medicine and I immediately went from the doctor to the store to pick up the prescription because I didn't know any better and the lady at the desk got all annoyed with me and said I had to give them time to get it ready so I just left and never ended up picking up the gas medicine.

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

lot effort to get that nut

fanged wang
Nov 1, 2014

by Ralp

psyman posted:

My next accomplishment will be to insert my own penis into my own butt (also cleaned out in the shower by injecting sensitive handwash and moisturised internally with Palmers Cocoa Butter, yes my anus is moisturised most of the time). I can almost get the tip in there if I twist it backwards while limp but then it gets hard and I can't bend it in.

the self gently caress requires years of conditioning your dick and butthole. the only person ive seen successfully and comfortably perform a self gently caress with full erection and jizzing in his own rear end is our very own kirk johnson, better known as "goatse" or "goatman", who maintains an active and popular xvideos account which documents his exploits. you need a penis pump to gently caress your own rear end, but im not sure why. my theory is that using a penis pump allows you to maintain a sizable "soft erection" which gives you both the flexibility and length required to stuff your own dick in your rear end but i dont know enough about pumped peens to speak with any authority about it, just the curiosity of an eternal novice.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
could probably suck my own dick. got that long dick.






THAT LOOOOOOOONG DICK

Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

psyman posted:

The furthest I've gotten is about 3/4 way down my penis, but that's only after a lot of stretching or after a day out, but no special training or anything. On the rare occasion where I do it, I just masturbate upside down with my head in my mouth and a few times I have drunk my own cum (not gay!!). I have a very clean penis that I exfoliate and wash with sensitive handwash in the shower and also moisturise a lot. I can also lick my own balls.

My next accomplishment will be to insert my own penis into my own butt (also cleaned out in the shower by injecting sensitive handwash and moisturised internally with Palmers Cocoa Butter, yes my anus is moisturised most of the time). I can almost get the tip in there if I twist it backwards while limp but then it gets hard and I can't bend it in.

*insert loopback.jpg here*

SaviourX
Sep 30, 2003

The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt.

fanged wang posted:

the only person ive seen successfully and comfortably perform a self gently caress with full erection and jizzing in his own rear end is our very own kirk johnson, better known as "goatse" or "goatman"

Nah man just search on xham for self gently caress, ywia (you're welcome in advance). Where the fuckin you own butt thread at, that's where the pros live.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
OP sorry but once again SA is slow, fat and out of date before a thing is popular and good. reddit has you beat with lots of pics and guides to help you suck your own dick http://www.reddit.com/r/autofellatio/top/?sort=top&t=all




Xaris fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Jan 22, 2015

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



One of the biggest reasons I still selfsuck is for the workout and the sense of physical satisfaction. I just stretched out after work and sucked my cock for maybe twenty minutes, didn't cum, now resuming my evening.

Most of the time I don't finish in my mouth, or even with my mouth, unless I'm really horny and/or drunk. I just like the really deep stretching, the sorta sensuality around my cock getting hard in my mouth (sucking it soft is my favourite), but cumming is not really the goal for me!

Anyone else feel the same?

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
http://www.reddit.com/r/autofellatio/comments/2nndde/cant_seem_to_do_it/
lol

[–]onemagictrick 2 points 1 month ago
This is very normal. Took me a couple of months before I could really get contact at all.
Just focus on your breathing more than anything. Keep your clothes on and listen to your body as you stretch. Take deep breaths in, and as you exhale, push your stretches further, then hold them until your next deep breath, repeat.

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[–]YogaStretch 1 point 1 month ago
I usually stretch clothed so that I can focus on my body and not my dick. Every two weeks or so I get hard and try to gage where my mouth is in relation to my dick. My biggest problem now is not the stretch (I'm pretty deep into it) buy my cock points back towards my chest and away from my mouth! So now I'm low enough, but off by roughly 2" because of position.

permalinksaveparentreportgive goldreply
[–]onemagictrick 2 points 1 month ago
Ahh, ok. Then the biggest problem is the angle of the stretch basically at your ribcage. Try this: After you've stretched quite a bit, sit down, pull your legs up to your chest, wrap your arms around your thighs. Keep your legs in the same position, but push the middle of your back down towards the floor/bed. Don't pull your face towards your cock yet, just keep pushing backwards and with every breath lower your arms so they are almost around your rear end. Once you get to that point, there should be a pretty good bend in the middle of your back. Then rest for a bit.
The next time you bend down to aim for your cock, do that backward stretch first, then lean forward. I think the backward stretch is more important.

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[–]YogaStretch 1 point 1 month ago
I am trying to follow your direction. I hit a point where I roll backward and lose the stretch. I think I get where you're going, though. Definitely a round, close stretch. Do you have pics of this (he asks in a non creepy way, he hopes)

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[–]marsvenus4u[S] 1 point 1 month ago
Thanks a lot:)
I'll start this and see where I get. Will update here on progress.

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[–]ThisCatIsFakeJust the tip 1 point 1 month ago
I haven't been as successful as some of the people here, but I can offer my experience. For background, I'm 5' 11", very slim, 6.5" cock.
At first (a number of weeks ago), I couldn't touch the tip with my tongue. Often, I couldn't even stretch my foreskin to my tongue. I kept trying, and now I can stretch my foreskin to my tongue pretty much any time, and with a good warm up/hot shower, I can touch the tip. The furthest I've been able to go is putting my lips on the head of my penis.
So, it's been slow going, but I'm definitely making progress, which is exciting. Keep at it, and you should make progress. It might make things better if you have way of measuring your progress. For me, my foreskin was a good inbetween, but you might be cut. Perhaps a ruler can give you an idea of how close you're getting.

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[–]marsvenus4u[S] 1 point 1 month ago
Thanks for the suggestion. I have my foreskin intact, but as I'm a few inches away, I'll use a ruler or something similar. I'm pretty slim, so that'll help me. The problem: I've never done any exercise, ever.

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[–]ThisCatIsFakeJust the tip 1 point 1 month ago
Keep us posted! Yoga would probably be a good exercise for this kind of thing, if you're interested. I wouldn't consider lack of exercise a huge problem for this, except that it might mean your body isn't used to stretching. Strength-wise, there should be no problem; it doesn't take much. Yoga would help with stretching though.

Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Of course they have a guide there. No one is going to go down on one of them without being paid (or drugged) first.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
There is an entire episode of Metalocalypse about sucking your own dick

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



why would i want to suck my own dick when someone could do it for me?

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

vyst posted:

why would i want to suck my own dick when someone could do it for me?

Exactly.

bunky
Aug 29, 2004

angerbeet posted:

awesome cougars

how dare you beat me to this

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless

vyst posted:

why would i want to suck my own dick when someone could do it for me?

you are in the somethingawful forums, in the most antisocial subforum. literally everyone here wants to suck their own loving cock.

gently caress your cock.

Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

a bone to pick posted:

you are in the somethingawful forums, in the most antisocial subforum. literally everyone here wants to suck their own loving cock.

gently caress your cock.

So is that an offer orrrrrrrrr? I'm getting some mixed signals here.

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless

Wamdoodle posted:

So is that an offer orrrrrrrrr? I'm getting some mixed signals here.

let me make this very clear: I want to suck my own bone.

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

I'm not joking when i say i want my own tongue in my own dick hole. This is full serious.

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Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

a bone to pick posted:

let me make this very clear: I want to suck my own bone.

Ah, got ya. A noble pursuit.

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