Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Father_Johann
Aug 28, 2008
I can't quite reach yet, but, I too feel the urge to gobble my knobble. I basically do what has been stressed: stretch, get on my shoulders with my back up against a wall and inch my pelvis as near to my face as possible. I feel so close that pre cum starts oozing out in anticipation but I can't reach my mouth. Yet.

I came up with a solution, though. It's kind of cheating, but then again so is using a dildo or fleshlight.

I found a perfect mom and pop burger joint about a mile away, walking there is a good warm up. I get the biggest, juiciest burger I can, two patties, tomatoes, onions, extra bacon, mustard, no goddamn lettuce. I leave out the mayo so I don't visually get turned on by the white creaminess and cum too early and end up having a messy pair of underpants instead of an eyeful of hot jizz, which is the obvious objective.

I get into position like normal, grab that burger and use it as that link between my mouth and pulsating member. If you try it, stick the burger in the microwave for just fifteen seconds on high for optimum warm tingles. Just remember to wash your face and hair afterwards in case of surprise visitors ;)

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Father_Johann
Aug 28, 2008

Lasher posted:

I heard there's more feeling in your mouth than dick so it feels more like your sucking a dick as opposed to getting your dick sucked.

Confirm/Deny

Look at COCKrates getting all philosophical

  • Locked thread