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Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
No idea what the source on this is. A friend just emailed it to me with a subject of LOL. Nothing on google.

Oh yeah, this is very :nms: so you are warned.

quote:

Okay, so after doing a bit of research (on both RM, and a few other sites), I find out this place offers a one-way to ticket to Greece (anal). I'm thrilled! I have a fetish for rear end-pounding, more so than your average guy. I honestly would prefer anal, over a pussy, any day. But this visit, may have SINGLE-HANDEDLY, flipped my entire fetish, upside down. It's disheartening, tbh. Anyways, let me give a quick walk-through first. I get in, pay the house, and get set up. Take a quick rinse in the shower, and get set up with a Anna (who I specifically request), and we get off to a fairly smooth start. She's by no means attractive, nor youthful, but gently caress it. I'm looking for someone to fulfill my anal needs. She sucks me off a bit, licks my balls, and gives me a mean rimjob, tongue-loving my poophole. Highly advise NOT making any mouth-to-mouth contact with this one. I DATY, and some of you might be thinking, "Wow glub-lifter. That's pretty risky and probably NSFL." True, but I enjoy the taste of pussy very much; to me, it's almost as good as sticking your dick in one. Then I get to pounding her. Pussy first; she moans, and while she's not super-tight; it's kind of like an appetizer for my cock, before penetrating her rear end in a top hat, which would undoubtedly be EVEN tighter, by at least 5x.

Finally, it's time. I position my cock right above her rear end in a top hat, and slowly aim my ship towards the docking bay. I'm almost shivering with excitement, my eyes glinting with a wicked gleam. I watch her rear end in a top hat resist a bit, but take the tip of my cock in, and after the tip disappears into her brown door, I push the rest in slowly, spitting and lubing myself up as I go, as to not tear her apart. She moans louder and louder, wincing in pain here and there, but is an awfully good sport. Now, here is where things get weird. I hope I haven't lost your attention just yet. The sensation of a dick in an rear end is similar to a pussy, but the amount of muscle control in an anus is like comparing a Honda Civic, to a monster, souped up GMC truck. Now while I expected a pretty serious amount of contractions inside of her rear end...what I DIDN'T expect was the...weird sensation of tentacles squirming around the tip of my cock, the deeper I went it. I've done Greek plenty of times, and this is the first time I've felt it. Felt...kind of good! I gently caress her rear end nice and deep, and her backdoor takes in the entire length of my shaft. Now, I love to do this thing, where I pull out slowly, so I can peer into a woman's rear end in a top hat, wide and gaping. This is what you've been waiting for. When I pull out...my dick's not the only thing that comes out. I have bad eyes...so I squint a bit, to see what these weird, moving things hanging onto the tip of the rubber, and around her rear end in a top hat are. Holy fuc-. Is that what I thin-. Alive. They're look like little parasite/worms. The feeling that crept over me upon seeing that was...indescribable. Anna had loving worms in her rear end in a top hat. I gagged a few times, and almost threw up. I pull out completely THROW the rubber off, and immediately inform her. She doesn't understand, until she swipes at her rear end in a top hat, and sees the worms on her fingers. The fact that she did that, and didn't even panic, gave me a pretty good impression that this wasn't her first time. I later find out from a good friend of mine, who's occupation lays in the medical field, that what I came across, is called intestinal worms, often ingested through undercooked foods. Rest assured, there are 3 things that I have changed permanently in my life.

1. I will never, ever under-cook food again.
2. I will never, ever do anal without a raincoat.
3. I will never visit Anna again.

I hope this serves as a decent warning for the rest of you mongers. Beware the backdoor parasites, if you decide to venture that path. Most horrific experience of my life. Cut the session short, tipped her the regular amount, just so I could get the hell out of there, and scrub myself clean at home. Never. Again.

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GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
what a story mark

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

This is how I look to other people, isn't it?
Fine. I don't care. I DO care but I don't. MOSTLY I CARE.
A LOT.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
Bomping this lovely thread.

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
me too. bump

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

worms are part of the rear end pounding game. get with the program

open container
Sep 16, 2008
If you read one disgusting story this year . . . LET IT BE THIS ONE !

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's oval office when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

open container posted:

If you read one disgusting story this year . . . LET IT BE THIS ONE !

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's oval office when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

:bravo:

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
Ah, now time for the coup de grace of the evening: to look deep inside the rear end of a hooker.

Minimalist Program
Aug 14, 2010
I can't believe Anna and her infested rear end ruined what would have been the high point of the OP's evening: to use his eyes/vision to investigate the inside of her open rear end, by looking deep into it.

ChronicMasticator
Nov 5, 2008

Name:
Cesar, the Murderbear
Known Aliases:
Doug

Too bad it's fake. It'd be really funny if it weren't.
http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/lobster.asp

open container
Sep 16, 2008
i am so embarrassed :blush:

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
username idea: annas infested rear end

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
comes in right at the character limit

texasmed
May 27, 2004

open container posted:

her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
oh! haha. hate when that happens!

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

bum full o' worms

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
theres worms in me bum

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
all this reminds me of some trouble ive been experiencing with my dreamcast

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
I think "Greek" is a perfectly good euphemism for anal.

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
idk i immediately associate it with pedophilia

but then again what dont i, haha

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
saw the name "glub-lifter" in the OP and figured it would be a username for something, and so searched it in quotation marks in google.

There was only one google search result for this:



ohhhh boy



i begrudgingly click though, and this is the next page i see:



The other usernames on this site are already fantastic, including SlantedDong, but that's not why we're here.

Assuming the OP is going to be Glub-lifter's review of this particular rubbing hotspot, I click their name:



So, whoever sourced the OP is a paying, premium member of this website! hooray.

Here's the link if you guys want to dig around, I don't.

http://www.rubmaps.com/erotic-massage-aroma-beauty-care-san-francisco-ca-7538#review-155732

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



What does DATY mean?

kjetting
Jan 18, 2004

Hammer Time
I think Rub Maps must be it. He mentions researching on "both RM and other sites"

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

What does DATY mean?

According to urban dictionary itīs "Dining At The Y", or pussy licking.

I remember many years ago we were mocking another site that gave reviews for prostitutes, and they had all these stupid acronyms like BBBJWCIM.

kjetting fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Jan 17, 2015

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012
premium glub lifter and annas infested rear end

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

nms is gbs 1.0 bitchboy poo poo op knock it off.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
For once being Goatse would have helped with a problem

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

ohh my god im gonna scream out loud and piss my diaper from reading a boring lovely txtdump

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
:goatsecx::goatsecx::goatsecx::goatsecx::goatsecx::goatsecx::goatsecx:


a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



Today, I learned about RubMaps.

Today was a good day! :mrgw:

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
which would undoubtedly be EVEN tighter, by at least 5x.

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
this thread is disgusting. why would the op find this entertaining? i earnestly implore anyone who might have any influence on the op to urge him to seek professional help.

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

premium glub lifter and annas infested rear end

dine at the Y

a star war betamax
Sep 17, 2011

by Lowtax
Gary’s Answer
why do people put a peepee in the poop hole

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
"oh no not a bad day, spent 4 hours tweezing spaghetti worms out of some woman's small intestine"

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
they look kinda like soybean sprouts

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
wanna put that biomass in my bowl of pho

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Quickscope420dad posted:

Detective work

Wow. Good job. No wonder the story didn't come up in a google search.

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toggle
Nov 7, 2005

was this the pretty woman deleted scene everyone was talking about?

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