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MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Don't take it anywhere near Mordor you loving morons, the ring fell into a river and went missing for thousands of years, just take it on a boat to the middle of the sea and throw it overboard. That motherfucker ain't gonna climb the continental slope all by itself. What's the worst that can happen, an octopus with delusions of grandeur?
Whose loving idea was it to take it to Mordor anyway?

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iroguebot
Feb 15, 2001

Nerf this!

Put it up your butt.

Flesh Forge
Jan 31, 2011

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG
thanks for this suggestion, I'll take it to Gandalf and Galadriel right away OP!!

e: Ok they got it, they said they'll be sure to have a statue made of you in the epilogue!!

Flesh Forge fucked around with this message at 16:16 on Jan 17, 2015

Acid Haze
Feb 16, 2009

:parrot:
Oh. I thought this was going to be a holocaust joke.

VectorSigma
Jan 20, 2004

Transform
and
Freak Out



it stayed lost because sauron got his rear end kicked and had to live in his parents' basement until he regained influence

dentist toy box
Oct 9, 2012

There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.


but you see no matter where it goes it will still get found somehow, because it wants to be found.

Juanito
Jan 20, 2004

I wasn't paying attention
to what you just said.

Can you repeat yourself
in a more interesting way?
Hell Gem
Tolkien would roll over in his grave :argh:

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Possibly Chicken posted:

but you see no matter where it goes it will still get found somehow, because it wants to be found.


How deep can an orc possibly dive?

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
it'd get swallowed by a fish and then the fish would get caught and then you're back to square one. that's magic rings 101 material, really

Iamblikhos
Jun 9, 2013

IRONKNUCKLE PERMA-BANNED! CHALLENGES LIBERALS TO 10-TOPIC POLITICAL DEBATE! READ HERE
Just copy the videotape.

dentist toy box
Oct 9, 2012

There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.


MeLKoR posted:

How deep can an orc possibly dive?

it doesn't have to be an orc like maybe it would wash to shore or whatever or millions of years of science stuff could make the ocean become land.

FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014


In a world that has walking trees and ride-able eagles I'm sure Sauron could have bribed a fish to go get it

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

XMNN posted:

it'd get swallowed by a fish and then the fish would get caught and then you're back to square one. that's magic rings 101 material, really
Put it inside a block of dwarf cement of something.


Possibly Chicken posted:

it doesn't have to be an orc like maybe it would wash to shore or whatever or millions of years of science stuff could make the ocean become land.
It'll get suctioned under the crust and then good luck with that.

Emerson Cod
Apr 14, 2004

by Pragmatica
Once Middle Earth reached a sufficient level of technological advancement, you know some hobbit with a god complex is going to get the bright idea to build an underwater city, the next logical step from an underground village...

BRB going to write a LotR/Bioshock mashup fan fiction.

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




MeLKoR posted:

Don't take it anywhere near Mordor you loving morons, the ring fell into a river and went missing for thousands of years, just take it on a boat to the middle of the sea and throw it overboard. That motherfucker ain't gonna climb the continental slope all by itself. What's the worst that can happen, an octopus with delusions of grandeur?
Whose loving idea was it to take it to Mordor anyway?

If you throw it into the sea then one day a couple hobbits will be fishing, one falls overboad and finds the ring great idea genius. Better idea is to put it up your butt.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Hexel posted:

If you throw it into the sea then one day a couple hobbits will be fishing, one falls overboad and finds the ring great idea genius. Better idea is to put it up your butt.

The Deadliest Catch

Emerson Cod
Apr 14, 2004

by Pragmatica
Is a hobbit not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

VectorSigma
Jan 20, 2004

Transform
and
Freak Out



Emerson Cod posted:

Once Middle Earth reached a sufficient level of technological advancement, you know some hobbit with a god complex is going to get the bright idea to build an underwater city, the next logical step from an underground village...

BRB going to write a LotR/Bioshock mashup fan fiction.

humans would be the last race though we kill everything and the elves all peaced out to space and became vulcans and then we have star trek

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
ya great, of coure melkor the great deceiver would suggest this lplan

what a loving rear end in a top hat, do NOT listen to this guy

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

are you saying with all this magic and elf poo poo you don't have someone who can launch it out of earth orbit? it'd fall into the sun then. maybe it would take decades but gravity would do the work eventually. nothing's hotter than the sun. i bet the sun is like, 10 mount dooms at least, and it's right there. just go to elfrond's backyard and magic it to escape velocity on a nice day where the sun is right over you. done.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Bacons posted:

Put it up your butt.

Would your poops be invisible?

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
you dumb baby the sun is just a bit of glass holding the light of the fruit of blah blah blah it's not hot and even if it was you can't get anything inside it because of teh glass

seriously though dudes, the "alternative plan" was suggested by melkor, sauron's boss, and he is just trying to trick you into letting sauron win here, do not take the bait!!

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Mr. Pumroy posted:

are you saying with all this magic and elf poo poo you don't have someone who can launch it out of earth orbit? it'd fall into the sun then.

I'm no rocket scientist but I think the delta-v for that might be a little beyond even the best of Gandalf's fireworks.

Hellsau
Jan 14, 2010

NEVER FUCKING TAKE A NIGHT OFF CLAN WARS.

nomadologique posted:

ya great, of coure melkor the great deceiver would suggest this lplan

what a loving rear end in a top hat, do NOT listen to this guy

poo poo he almost got me, thanks No Mado Logique.

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe

Mr. Pumroy posted:

are you saying with all this magic and elf poo poo you don't have someone who can launch it out of earth orbit? it'd fall into the sun then. maybe it would take decades but gravity would do the work eventually. nothing's hotter than the sun. i bet the sun is like, 10 mount dooms at least, and it's right there. just go to elfrond's backyard and magic it to escape velocity on a nice day where the sun is right over you. done.

Fairly certain Arien wouldn't want folks tossing things at her.

california roll
Feb 23, 2009
saoron didnt need to the ring to conquer the world a better question is why that idiot made it in the first place

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
OP got his poo poo hosed up by Fingolfin lmao

iroguebot
Feb 15, 2001

Nerf this!

VendaGoat posted:

Would your poops be invisible?

Every time a cock enters your anus, Sauron gets poked in the eyeball.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
it's bs that it was indestructable. They had all those wizards and ancient elves and poo poo and they couldn't figure out a way to ruin the magical ring? :cmon:

Carol Pizzamom
Jul 13, 2006

a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

Mr. Pumroy posted:

are you saying with all this magic and elf poo poo you don't have someone who can launch it out of earth orbit? it'd fall into the sun then. maybe it would take decades but gravity would do the work eventually. nothing's hotter than the sun. i bet the sun is like, 10 mount dooms at least, and it's right there. just go to elfrond's backyard and magic it to escape velocity on a nice day where the sun is right over you. done.

in that gay universe i think the sun is like some piece of poo poo some god launched into the sky or maybe its a god. i forget but its probably retarded, unlike our sun, which is a huge ball of gas doing physics stuff to make heat and light, which is sick as hell.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Tonality is for babies and anyway you guys should really cut it out with the valar-shaming. :negative:


Zzulu posted:

it's bs that it was indestructable. They had all those wizards and ancient elves and poo poo and they couldn't figure out a way to ruin the magical ring? :cmon:
Gandalf Knew

Pulp Can Move
Oct 4, 2012
"Keep it secret..."
*Takes pipe out of mouth and points the stem at Frodo's butt.*
"...keep it safe."

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
hey op remember trhat time you got your head bashed in by a mortal weiner?

we're all still laughing about that dude it's practically a meme around here

Zeniel
Oct 18, 2013
Just give it to Sour Ron. He's a bit of a dick but he's had a rough day at work.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
They already solved it by putting it in lava butt hanks.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

nomadologique posted:

hey op remember trhat time you got your head bashed in by a mortal weiner?

stdh.txt :cmon:

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

Carol Pizzamom posted:

in that gay universe i think the sun is like some piece of poo poo some god launched into the sky or maybe its a god. i forget but its probably retarded, unlike our sun, which is a huge ball of gas doing physics stuff to make heat and light, which is sick as hell.

gently caress middle earth. the sooner sauron and saruman tears that agriarian nonsense society apart and stains its verdant landscape with the soot and fire of industry the better. jesus christ, can't believe anybody in the fellowship took one look at that dumb elf town in the trees and said "yeah, this is def worth dying for" uproot it all and put elves in chains

Lets Pickle
Jul 9, 2007

nomadologique posted:

ya great, of coure melkor the great deceiver would suggest this lplan

what a loving rear end in a top hat, do NOT listen to this guy

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Mr. Pumroy posted:

jesus christ, can't believe anybody in the fellowship took one look at that dumb elf town in the trees and said "yeah, this is def worth dying for" uproot it all and put elves in chains

Elves should gently caress off back to the ivory tower they came from, this is human lebensraum. Dwarves can stay as long as they don't get welfare benefits or unionized.

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VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Mr. Pumroy posted:

gently caress middle earth. the sooner sauron and saruman tears that agriarian nonsense society apart and stains its verdant landscape with the soot and fire of industry the better. jesus christ, can't believe anybody in the fellowship took one look at that dumb elf town in the trees and said "yeah, this is def worth dying for" uproot it all and put elves in chains

Dwarves.txt

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