itt we don't like football

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > itt we don't like football

FreakerByTheSpeaker: Dec 3, 2006; You got your good things
And I've got mine

I dunno. I like drinking beer in the afternoon and watching my team with friends, but I think it's pretty silly for full grown humans to hinge their emotional wellbeing on how people who they've never met play a game. :shrug:

# ? Jan 19, 2015 16:46

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:31

Sancho: Jul 18, 2003

'full grown humans'

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:07

GreatGreen: Jul 3, 2007; That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.

FreakerByTheSpeaker posted:

I dunno. I like drinking beer in the afternoon and watching my team with friends, but I think it's pretty silly for full grown humans to hinge their emotional wellbeing on how people who they've never met play a game.

Hey whatever dude if MY TEAM, located in a city I don't live in and made up of people people who I've never even seen in person much less met or interacted with in any way, loses a game then I am inconsolable for days.

I mean I even wore my lucky jersey AND my lucky idiot styrofoam hat AND only drank beer on odd numbered plays for luck like I always do and those loving assholes still didn't even pull it off.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:14

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

AssassinPrincess posted:

It's because we'd rather watch that then willowy men running around in short-shorts and excitedly hugging each other *soccer*

Those willowy men seem to be capable of 90 - 120 minutes of solid activity as opposed to about 15 seconds. The most definitely not willowy men in rugby seem to manage the same while getting smashed all over the place without the dubious benifit of body armour.

I will concede one thing about football though, there are loads of players who love to really wuss up falling over https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-b6875gzR0

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:17

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

English football > Canadian football > American football

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:20

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

Seaside Loafer posted:

Those willowy men seem to be capable of 90 - 120 minutes of solid activity as opposed to about 15 seconds. The most definitely not willowy men in rugby seem to manage the same while getting smashed all over the place without the dubious benifit of body armour.

I will concede one thing about football though, there are loads of players who love to really wuss up falling over https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-b6875gzR0

you're dumb as dogshit hth

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:26

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

GreatGreen posted:

Yes those poor poor multi-millionaires who are idolized like gods by people the world over.

It's more insidious than just looking at it from a money/fame perspective. it perpetuates the stereotype of the feral and savage black man, unleashed for our viewing pleasure. it's a human zoo. it's a racist spectacle.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:35

logical phalluses: Mar 18, 2009; The living look upon the corpse with their eyesight,
But without eyesight lingers a different living and looks
curiously on the corpse.

Damo posted:

drat I was just about to post that.

have this instead

source: http://www.sportsonearth.com/article/64441086/nfl-statistical-analysis-average-nfl-game

football is a poo poo sport for poo poo people

this doesn't make any sense how can there only be 11 minutes of game play when the game clock runs for an hour.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:36

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

logical phalluses posted:

this doesn't make any sense how can there only be 11 minutes of game play when the game clock runs for an hour.

the clock often keeps running between plays.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 17:40

Hesh Ballantine: Feb 13, 2012

GreatGreen posted:

Yes those poor poor multi-millionaires who are idolized like gods by people the world over.

those guys are almost universally conned out of their money from day 1 by promoters/managers/family/hangers on, you would be surprised how much sympathy you might have for them, there's a pretty good short doc about this, might just be called "Broke"

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:20

1gnoirents: Jun 28, 2014; hello

football is a really good game

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:31

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

GreatGreen posted:

Yes those poor poor multi-millionaires who are idolized like gods by people the world over.

world over pfffff

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:31

Bishop: Aug 15, 2000

Football is a complex sport, I can understand why people think it's boring if they have no idea what's going on. It's a shame too because TFF is probably the funniest subforum

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:33

Afro: May 29, 2007; Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit

surprised no ones posted a fat lineman and chuckled at the "average" american athlete

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:54

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

i can't wait till the NFL collapses once the boomers die.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:55

Bishop: Aug 15, 2000

TOILETLORD posted:

i can't wait till the NFL collapses once the boomers die.

the nfl prints money you might have to delay that hope for a few more generations

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:58

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

Bishop posted:

the nfl prints money you might have to delay that hope for a few more generations

we just need top trick young people into making it so universities can't have sports teams and the NFL has to pay to fund actual farm teams.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 18:59

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

Dirty Sanchez posted:

Because on the same field you have men who:
Are bigger and stronger than world class sumo wrestlers.
Are as tough and take hits as well as the best rugby players in Australia.
Are faster than the olympic sprinters in many countries in the world (who incidentally, may run for less than 10 seconds at a time).
Have better reflexes and agility than some of the best handball players.
Can punt an oddly shaped ball farther than most goalies who played in the world cup.

These men could've won medals in multiple sports, but wouldn't get the same money or glory as playing in the nfl.

lol nice hero worship for a bunch of lovely ballplayers

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:12

chickie nugs for brekkie: May 17, 2010

Watching/going to football games with friends is fun. Watching it purely for the game and not social interaction isn't.

I like to laugh at the people who base their entire lives around and feel a more than superficial connection to the team. "We should have played better." Who's we? Well maybe next time tell the coach to put you in and things should go differently.

Story time: I met this really obnoxious girl at a bar who told me her aunt had made a bet with a Vegas bookie that her team would have a perfect season and win the Super Bowl. Apparently the team had a perfect season and she stood poised to make a million dollars on the SB. The bookie called and offered her 100k or so to cancel the bet which she refused so she wouldn't jinx her team. The team loses and she gets dick. I laughed in the girl's face and said her aunt was an idiot.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:15

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

rrrrugby thighs

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:25

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

more like hand evgg 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# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:27

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

they shoulds force all players to meet weight and height restrictions and break the league up into teams by weight class like boxing.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:28

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

Firmy Shoyombo posted:

'handegg'

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:29

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

comes along bort posted:

handegg larf i read manga and listen to devin townsend

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:30

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

C.P.A.N. posted:

Story time: I met this really obnoxious girl at a bar who told me her aunt had made a bet with a Vegas bookie that her team would have a perfect season and win the Super Bowl. Apparently the team had a perfect season and she stood poised to make a million dollars on the SB. The bookie called and offered her 100k or so to cancel the bet which she refused so she wouldn't jinx her team. The team loses and she gets dick. I laughed in the girl's face and said her aunt was an idiot.

the '07 patriots losing that super bowl was one of the greatest sports moments ever for many reasons, and this is just another one on the pile

# ? Jan 19, 2015 19:31

Nameless_Steve: Oct 18, 2010; "There are fair questions about shooting non-lethally at retreating civilian combatants."

*smugly declares that I read BOOKS as though football and literacy are mutually exclusive*
*only slightly above-average intelligence*

# ? Jan 19, 2015 20:11

TOILETLORD: Nov 13, 2012; by XyloJW

Nameless_Steve posted:

*smugly declares that I read BOOKS as though football and literacy are mutually exclusive*
*only slightly above-average intelligence*

*is first year freshman kicker*

# ? Jan 19, 2015 20:12

chickie nugs for brekkie: May 17, 2010

Fullhouse posted:

the '07 patriots losing that super bowl was one of the greatest sports moments ever for many reasons, and this is just another one on the pile

It was the Pats? Well good, gently caress em.

# ? Jan 19, 2015 20:25

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

HANDE EGG

# ? Jan 19, 2015 20:30

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

clothes only count in hoarse jews and hand eggs

# ? Jan 19, 2015 20:31

logical phalluses: Mar 18, 2009; The living look upon the corpse with their eyesight,
But without eyesight lingers a different living and looks
curiously on the corpse.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

the clock often keeps running between plays.

yeah that's part of the game play thouigh.....

# ? Jan 19, 2015 20:51

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

the football defenders get as mad at these threads as they do yelling at the tv and its glorious

# ? Jan 19, 2015 21:49

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

C.P.A.N. posted:

It was the Pats? Well good, gently caress em.

Another beautiful 19-1 moment was when some mad goon on TFF posted a huge essay about how winning 19 straight games and then losing the superbowl was like being about to gently caress a beautiful supermodel with perfectly spherical breasts and then having eli manning stumble into her dick-first instead, wish I had it on hand

e: whoops it was 18-1 not 19

the bitcoin of weed fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Jan 19, 2015

# ? Jan 19, 2015 21:55

chickie nugs for brekkie: May 17, 2010

The only reason I'm a sports fan is to watch other sports fans cry. I couldn't be arsed otherwise. Living in Wisconsin it's been like Christmas part 2 for me.

# ? Jan 20, 2015 03:32

opus111: Jul 6, 2014

Dirty Sanchez posted:

Because on the same field you have men who:
Are bigger and stronger than world class sumo wrestlers.
Are as tough and take hits as well as the best rugby players in Australia.
Are faster than the olympic sprinters in many countries in the world (who incidentally, may run for less than 10 seconds at a time).
Have better reflexes and agility than some of the best handball players.
Can punt an oddly shaped ball farther than most goalies who played in the world cup.

These men could've won medals in multiple sports, but wouldn't get the same money or glory as playing in the nfl.

Lol people actually believe this. I hope you swallow all that USA USA USA propaganda in one go.

# ? Jan 20, 2015 03:45

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

FreudianSlippers posted:

American Football would be a hundred times better if it weren't for the sixty million timeouts and ad breaks. I mean I get it that just how the sport is structured but it makes it a lot harder to watch.
Football is really boring and I'm literally incapable of watching it for any length of time but at least they have the decency to only have one break at halftime.

There were actually very few fatalities in gladiatorial combat. At least among proper gladiators. Training and arming gladiators was very expensive and obviously not every slave was suited to that sort of thing so usually mercy would be shown and it's likely that the blades weren't very sharp to avoid serious injury. Prisoners got killed of course but that was usually via feeding them to animals. Sometimes they'd fill up stadiums or basins with water and have big naval fights where the losers would most likely drown but for that they usually used people who would have been executed anyway instead of trained gladiators. It was basically the WWE of it's time except every now and then the winner would actually really murder his opponent.

Most good gladiators were tubby fuckers too so they could take some cuts but not have their stomach get ripped the gently caress open

Though even back then when the mortality rate was relatively low except for the prisoners a ton of people were pissed at how people were cool with watching a bunch of dudes slice each other open

# ? Jan 20, 2015 04:09