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Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
>Ask about the cross



game that is word for word what you said directly before this choice, you need help

The orphan smiles with a few missing teeth and says, "Crusaders trying to kill you, eh? Now you know how it is to live in Istanbul!" You throw a gold coin to the child, and he nods in appreciation before disappearing silently across the rooftops.

You hold the silver pendant up and look at it, dangling across the skyline of the city below. "Order of the Dragon..."






And with that, we have now unlocked the final area for the first half of the game. There's still plenty to do of course, and the end of Chapters 3 and 4 will unlock additional events as well, but let's not get too ahead of ourselves. We could go check in on the Sultan, or simply carry on as we were. Take it away, goons.

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drkeiscool
Aug 1, 2014
Soiled Meat
Wait, we can just talk to the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire?

"Yo, what's up Mehmed my man?"

"Just hangin' , bro."

Kulkasha
Jan 15, 2010

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Likchenpa.

Veyrall posted:

Yeah, isn't he just an old hero to actual Romanians? Like, just some guy who really didn't want his whole land to be eaten by the Turkish empire?

IIRC Vlad was a Turkish subordinate ruling over Wallachia as a vassal, ruled super brutally (impalings, etc), rebelled against the Turks, ran away like a little bitch, and was then killed by the Turks. I doubt any of his contemporaries missed him.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Well, I suppose that bit in the catacombs was choosing a flower instead of a sword?

What a nice man to meet in the middle of the night!

RudeCat
Aug 7, 2012

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs


Must be close to morning now, time to head down to the docks to see what the catch of the day is.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Seriously,the omega-3 fatty acids, or whatever, in fish at the waterfront should sharpen us up for some sleuthing.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Day 7: Find a Local Fisherman

It's a new chapter and a new day, so what better time to go get a bite to eat? Desserts are all good and well, but we could really use something filling. Let's take a stroll down to the docks, and see if we can get the catch of the day.



Turning, you find a woman wearing a European dress, waving at you from a docked ship. "Pardon me," she says in a German accent, "but would you have a moment to assist my Lady?"

Curious, you call back, "What seems to be the problem?"

"My Contessa is ill and needs help leaving the boat. Would you please be so kind?"




Well goons, there's a lady in need of our help. We could help her (after all, it would only take a moment), or we can be on our way, and hopefully go find ourselves some fish while we're at it.

gegi
Aug 3, 2004
Butterfly Girl
Of course we help ladies in distress! It's not like a sweet ill old lady would be a press gang in disguise, right?

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

We must help her. We are nice gentlemen who help people and talk to other nice gentlemen like Mr. Vampire before.

Also she might know where we can find food, she is rich after all.

Eighties ZomCom
Sep 10, 2008




Help her, she's clearly rich and she might give us something as a reward. Like food.

Veyrall
Apr 23, 2010

The greatest poet this
side of the cyberpocalypse
Tourists always help each other out.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Excuse me mam, but does your mistress have any fine fish for me to dine on? No? What I shame, I shall have to continue my search for delicious fishy goodness elsewhere.

RudeCat
Aug 7, 2012

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs


Ugh, keep on walking. Whatever crazy German creeping crud she's got we don't need. Last thing we want is to ruin our vacation.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
I doubt a minor noble who has just arrived in town is going to be much help. "Madam, if you seek help with your ship, ask one of the many porters or sailors. I'm sure they would be glad to assist for a few small coins."

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
No. because what needs help crossing over water? That's right. Werewolves. And we don't need loving werewolves in our Vampire game.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
I thought it was the ghosts of mummies that couldn't cross water without the help of a tourist. My lack of monster knowledge might get is killed. :ohdear:

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Well I was hoping this would resolve itself overnight but we're tied, next post decides it.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
Assist the Contessa! A gentleman, even one on vacation, always has time to help.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
>Help the Contessa



"Could you please carry me to the pier?"

"It would be my honor," you reply, gathering up her lithe form in your strong arms. Her delicate hands drape around your neck as you carry her off the boat and on to the pier. A carriage has arrived since you went aboard, and you carefully deposit the Contessa inside, next a black woman in a colorful turban.

"There you are, Contessa..." you say, but then realize that you have yet to be properly introduced. Her eyes meet yours, and she replies "Karnstein. Carmilla Karnstein of Styria." You kiss her hand, "Welcome to Istanbul, Contessa." She leans in and kisses you on the cheek, then the coachman cracks his whip and the carriage pulls away into the city.

When it has gone, you resume your search for the fisherman. You find him two piers down and ask what he knows about people being bought and smuggled.

"I'm not talking to any lover of the Upir!" he hisses.

"What do you mean?"

"Upir!" he spits back. "Vampire! They cannot cross running water except at noon and midnight... Unless someone carries them over it!" He crosses himself and walks away from you.


rear end in a top hat. :colbert: I bet he was just jealous that we got to meet such a lovely young lady. The whole dread and death atmosphere must be getting to the locals.

Results

-1 Charm

Updated Stats

Agility: 5
Dexterity: 5
Strength: 6
Constitution: 5
Intelligence: 7
Magic: 8
Charm: 9

Well to hell with you too game, I think we were plenty charming. But enough about that, What's next on the agenda?

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
Hey, guy, the last vampire we met was pretty nice! Jeez.

Anyway let's snoop around the docks at night some more.

RudeCat
Aug 7, 2012

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs


Well great, there goes our fish. Maybe it's time to nourish the mind instead of the body? Off to the palace to assist in an excavation!

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

I'd really like to know what's the reasoning for lowering the player's charm on this one. They haven't done anything particularly uncharming, in fact, they helped a lady! That should add to their charm, no matter if the lady was a vampire, especially when being nice to the last vampire was considered positive.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
I think it docked us Charm there because we were looking for the fisherman and he was like :fuckoff: because we helped the nice vampire lady. Since that was our actual goal and we pissed him off, that's a charm penalty.

I guess. I would think helping the lady would make up for that but what do I know, I'm not a game designer.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
The vampire giveth stats, and the vampire taketh them away.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
We lost charm because that fisherman is going to tell everyone he knows that we carried a vampire into the city because we're dumb. I think that might not help us warm up to the locals.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.

Pvt.Scott posted:

We lost charm because that fisherman is going to tell everyone he knows that we carried a vampire into the city because we're dumb. I think that might not help us warm up to the locals.

Well the nicest dude we met so far is a vampire, and the locals kinda suck, so I'm inclined to just get some good food and watch Istanbul burn to the loving ground. :colbert:

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Bregor posted:

Well the nicest dude we met so far is a vampire, and the locals kinda suck, so I'm inclined to just get some good food and watch Istanbul burn to the loving ground. :colbert:

I'm not saying he's in the right, but I assume that's why the game kicked us in the balls.

Alkydere
Jun 7, 2010
Capitol: A building or complex of buildings in which any legislature meets.
Capital: A city designated as a legislative seat by the government or some other authority, often the city in which the government is located; otherwise the most important city within a country or a subdivision of it.



Pvt.Scott posted:

I'm not saying he's in the right, but I assume that's why the game kicked us in the balls.

It's more of a kick to the shin.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Day 8: Assist an Excavation

Well it took a little longer than we might have liked, but we've made a few friends here in Istanbul (even if they are of the undead kind), and that in and of itself is cause for celebration. There's no time for that today though, we're headed to the palace on official business.



There seems to be some sort of excavation going on there, yet there appears to be a large number of Janissary guards for a mere hole in the ground. An educated man in a white turban approaches you and shakes your hand.

"Thank you for coming," he says. "I am the Master of Antiquities to His Excellency. I know it is unorthodox, but I was told to use any resources necessary and I've heard that you have experience in these matters."

"What matters?"

"Let me show you." The man leads you down a series of ladders into the ground. At the very bottom, you find yourself in what appears to be a stone tunnel of some ancient architecture. "This has apparently been down here entire time. We were digging in order to build an underground store room for preservation of perishables when we broke through into this tunnel."

You look at the winged monsters carved into the walls. "These are Persian," you say.

"Yes. But these are not." He stops and raises his torch. The tunnel ends in two black iron doors, with strange hieroglyphs molded into their surface. "Do you recognize them?"

A chill runs through your body as you realize where you are. "You need to get your men out of here."

"But why? What does this mean?"

You turn to him and look him dead in the eyes. "These are the Gates of Gog and Magog. They are demons of the ancient world, locked away until the End of Days, when they will come forth and do battle with the Kingdom of Heaven. You cannot open these doors."

The Master of Antiquities nods. "It is as I feared, then."

"Nonsense!" says one of the lesser viziers standing behind you. "The Sultan is ordained to rule by the wisdom of Allah! God would not allow His Excellence to build a palace on top of such an unholy place!" The vizier brushes past you toward the doors.




Well, that's certainly a tale we've spun there. I'm not sure how much of that I actually believe, but we've already met ghouls and vampires so ancient demons don't sound too far-fetched. Regardless, we're certainly convinced that those doors are bad news, so do we stop him before he can reach them, or simply get the hell out of Dodge, NOW.

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009
Since he chooses to not listen to us, let us charge bravely in the opposite direction.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Fortunately for us we've seen plenty of Raider's of the Lost ark. Let's save our own skin and let the nazi vizier suffer the consequences of his desire.

Corbeau
Sep 13, 2010

Jack of All Trades
Run away! :stonk:

RudeCat
Aug 7, 2012

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs


Grab the vizer and suplex him into...wait,no, wrong lp.

I say we grab dickless before he lets all the badness out. We're a wizard, dammit, master of the arcane and eldritch powers. No way we're letting some bureaucrat ruin our vacation.

Materant
Jul 22, 2010

see, what you don't understand is he now has

THE MANLIEST MUSTACHE

it defies physics


Tactical retreat! Let the vizier eat hell for his own dumbass move. And if by some dumb chance we were wrong, hey! We're not here anymore to yell at.

Veyrall
Apr 23, 2010

The greatest poet this
side of the cyberpocalypse

UnwiseTrout posted:

I say we grab dickless before he lets all the badness out.
He's a vizier, not a eunuch.

That said, let's grab dickless before he lets all the badness out.

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
You can't spell "vacation" without "action." Grab him!

Arcade Rabbit
Nov 11, 2013

So we got vampires coming in every which way, ghouls in the catacombs, and now Tweedledee and Tweedledum literally sleeping under the palace. Its honestly no wonder that things are bad in this city. Frankly, I'm surprised poo poo didn't hit the (probably possessed) fan sooner.

Oh yeah, run. Let the vizier kill himself, he's a vizier. He's probably evil anyway.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Let nature take its course by performing a tactical rearward advance. Letting the vizier get his dumb rear end killed will prove you were right, and thus wise enough to replace him. My guess is the vizier knew what was down here and that trying to control or confront Gog and Magog, of all things, will get him mulched.

Darkest Auer
Dec 30, 2006

They're silly

Ramrod XTreme
Brave Sir Batman ran away, away.

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Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

If he doesn't want to believe, let him not. His funeral. Meanwhile, let's do the wise thing and run the hell away.

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