|
This is the I got laid in Basic Training thread. I know I wasn't the only one. Back in the 90's Drill Sergeants always liked to start basic off with some disgusting tale of how they busted some Privates loving in a dumpster and how if you even think about it you will get busted and shamed. But we went above and beyond! Improvised, adapted, overcumed! We hosed in basic and didn't get caught. And hopefully didn't have to gently caress in a dumpster either. My story: I was a support MOS (signal) in the 90's and went to Ft Jackson for co-ed basic. I am 6'0 and in my squad I was flanked on either side by a loving Amazonian chick taller than myself on one side and a petite little blonde who couldn't do 3 push-ups on the other. It started with the Alpha-female Amazon who made it clear day one I was hers to all the other bitches in our platoon. I wasn't gonna argue, bitch was bigger than me. She claimed me so I didnt even have to try for this one. Like first week of basic she was blowing me in the laundry room. A few days later we both happened to have assigned guard duty one night on the 2-4AM shift. We met up in the stairwell between the male and female bays (which were right next door) It was clumsy as hell and I blew my first load just trying to get it in. But I played that off and managed to hit it and GTFO before we got caught. Only problem was this was the day of the Bayonet course and I'm guessing she didn't shower because holy poo poo it was loving STANK! I mean fishy nasty stanky dank pussy. I could just smell my dead fish covered dick emanating through my PT shorts and was loving nauseous afterward. Spent the rest of the 4 - wakeup hours trying to wash the stank off my dick. Luckily the very next day during the whole mail call Drill speech the Drill Sgt mentioned that she had her eyes on certain "couples" that were getting too close and that poo poo had to stop. I had gotten mine, and couldn't get that loving smell out of my mind, so I was quick to break that poo poo off in the name of 'not loving up our careers'. Amazon bitch cried but managed to quickly latch on to my 'battle buddy' (thanks bro!) for comfort. So after Amazon bitch is off my jock and into my bunkmate and poor petite blond is a recycle risk for being a PT washout I start working with her to get her poo poo together. Its pretty obvious to both of us where this poo poo is headed. I think the fact I was on to her and protecting her from the dominant Amazon bitch actually gave her a huge confidence boost. Then one night Amazon and Petite happen to have guard duty on a 2-4 and me and my 'battle buddy' easily manage to volunteer our way into the same shift. Good buddy takes the stair route as of course I told him all about how that went for me and I, with the keys to everyfuckingthing, decide to bring Lil Petite into the 'supply room' with all the mattresses and poo poo. Luckily we hit the loving jackpot! Flashback to a few days prior.. We were like security for some Shriners Special Olympics thing like the 2nd to last week and had access to tons of candy and soda and poo poo (this was also the day I lost my position as platoon guide from all the loving dipshits that had pockets full of candy at shakedown but thats another story) Anyway while arranging mattresses to make our gently caress pad we came across a garbage bag... full of candy... All the poo poo taken from the special olympics shakedown.. Lil Petite and I loving gorged on candy and soda and hosed like rabbits. Not the best but probably one of the most memorable of gently caress sessions I've ever had given the circumstances. It was GLORIOUS. She still got PT recycled but gently caress it at least she worked that upper body riding my poo poo while I munched on skittles and Dr Pepper. I like to think I at least helped her out in a way. On the day before graduation I saw the hottest chick in all of basic from another platoon on the phone and grabbed the phone next to her. Pretended to be talking to a friend back home and said "Dude you wouldn't believe the hot rear end bitches in the Army. This chick on the phone next to me is loving smoking hot" She blushed and smiled at me so I chatted her up and ended up loving her too a few days later during that first free week of AIT, but she doesn't count toward the Basic Training haul. But goddamn she was loving smoking hot! Felt bad blowing my load in her in under 5 minutes but gently caress it 32 weeks of AIT was ahead and I had a whole new batch of desperately lonley hotties to gently caress. After AIT though it was Ft Bragg and 50k dudes to less than 10k chicks, half lesbian, so prospects fell quickly after that. But driving back to Ft Gordon with a maroon beret was a shower of pussy every weekend. Luckily the pussy usually showered there. So who else did it. Managed to get laid in basic? poo poo was sooo drat easy I know I wasn't the only one. Lets hear those sordid stories. Who knows maybe you'll give some poor bastard in the sandbox reading this poo poo some jack material for the night. Or some on the fence highschool kid will decide that yeah maybe the Army aint so bad after all.
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 08:33
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 16, 2024 09:27 |
|
|
Thread of the year.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 08:47
|
|
|
i hosed your mom while you were in basic training
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 09:06
|
|
|
I was in a co-ed division as recruit chief. Got a handy and a blowjob from my female AROC and YN in the fishbowl but never had the opportunity or energy to have sex. Pretty sure they would have hosed the guidon if it wasn't locked up after drills.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 13:14
|
|
|
Anasai returns. Stronger. Better.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 15:41
|
|
|
ded posted:i hosed your mom while you were in basic training
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 17:17
|
|
|
JayZen posted:Who knows maybe you'll give some poor bastard in the sandbox reading this poo poo some jack material for the night. Or some on the fence highschool kid will decide that yeah maybe the Army aint so bad after all. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 17:53
|
|
|
While in infantry OSUT we had lots of sex. Gay sex. Like, I'm talking the gayest sex you can possibly imagine. Oiled up with olive oil salad dressing stolen from the DFAC like a bunch of Greeks (and we totally went "Greek" if you know what I mean). Like, the entire platoon in one night, all over the killzone getting wet and wild. The drill sergeants knew what was going on every night (they must have, what with the poo poo/cum/blood stains everywhere) but they turned a blind eye. I even think another platoon's DS actually got in on the action. You might think this was all born out of desperation where we were doing it and imagining that fellow man's rear end was a woman's hole but you would be mistaken, it was all about the pleasure of men and there was LOTS of kissing. I remember one guy got med boarded because the whole platoon loved loving him so much that his rear end ended up sort of permanently prolapsed. After we graduated we never spoke a word to each other ever again after that, many are happily married in hetero relationships and I myself have a girlfriend, but I will never forget that summer of sweaty, dripping, oiled-up nightly homo orgies. I know this story seems farfetched but I assure you that cycle was the most sexual experience any of us ever had. You never forget the taste of twenty men's cum all at once. Justin Tyme fucked around with this message at 18:12 on Jan 21, 2015 |
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 18:09
|
|
|
Justin Tyme posted:While in infantry OSUT we had lots of sex. Gay sex. Like, I'm talking the gayest sex you can possibly imagine. Oiled up with olive oil salad dressing stolen from the DFAC like a bunch of Greeks (and we totally went "Greek" if you know what I mean). Like, the entire platoon in one night, all over the killzone getting wet and wild. The drill sergeants knew what was going on every night (they must have, what with the poo poo/cum/blood stains everywhere) but they turned a blind eye. I even think another platoon's DS actually got in on the action. You might think this was all born out of desperation where we were doing it and imagining that fellow man's rear end was a woman's hole but you would be mistaken, it was all about the pleasure of men and there was LOTS of kissing. I remember one guy got med boarded because the whole platoon loved loving him so much that his rear end ended up sort of permanently prolapsed. After we graduated we never spoke a word to each other ever again after that, many are happily married in hetero relationships and I myself have a girlfriend, but I will never forget that summer of sweaty, dripping, oiled-up nightly homo orgies. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 18:22
|
|
|
I got laid for nine straight years in the army. The big green weenie has no standards  I still walk funny to this day.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 21:54
|
|
|
I've jerked off in a porta shitter.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 22:00
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a porta shitter.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 22:51
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a guard tower
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 23:19
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a porta shitter. So did I, and I certainly wasn't alone. In fact I've jerked off in a porta shitter with three full grown MAM's in it. Top that.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 23:37
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off inside a bradley right next to a mosque in a crowded square in the driver's seat while on patrol.
|
|
#
?
Jan 21, 2015 23:46
|
|
|
The drill sergeant left their office door unlocked one night, and the other guy on fire watch tipped the rest of us off. We went through all their nudie mags and I tore out a pick of some big titty blonde chick and pretty much just jerked it to that one pic for the next two months. So yeah that's my basic training story, thanks for reading
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 02:27
|
|
|
Someone took another person's ID tags and slipped them into their rear end in front of everyone in the room. It ended with some tears on both sides and the ID tags being soaked in Listerine overnight. I think that counts, enjoy the jack material.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 03:15
|
|
|
Slim Pickens posted:The drill sergeant left their office door unlocked one night, and the other guy on fire watch tipped the rest of us off. We went through all their nudie mags and I tore out a pick of some big titty blonde chick and pretty much just jerked it to that one pic for the next two months. So yeah that's my basic training story, thanks for reading Do you still have it?
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 03:28
|
|
|
There was a married dude in our platoon whose wife got hosed by his recruiter while he was in boot camp
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 03:38
|
|
|
Bomber took 2 decks of cards that had nude women on them to Desert Shield. Waited till November, after Finance rolled through and let everyone get a $50 field draw, and sold those loving cards for $10-$20 each after giving the crew one each. I jerked off to the 5 of Hearts.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 06:14
|
|
|
ManMythLegend posted:Do you still have it? Nah, once I got out of Javelin school (bascially right next door to my OSUT barracks and locked down as well) I got some real porn.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 06:42
|
|
|
Slim Pickens posted:Nah, once I got out of Javelin school (bascially right next door to my OSUT barracks and locked down as well) I got some real porn. That's too bad. I had this image of you as an old man with this faded, wrinkled, and tattered titty pic framed on your mantle shedding a tear remembering the good old days before those drat kids ruined everything.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 06:48
|
|
|
We didn't have no drat stress cards! Basic is soft these days! -Basically everyone 6 months out of basic
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 06:53
|
|
|
Slim Pickens posted:We didn't have no drat stress cards! Basic is soft these days! Are stress cards still (or even ever really) a actual thing? I heard they added those not long after I went through. My rotation was the first to get "Sensitivity Training" Army basic was originally 8 weeks when I started and halfway through they added an extra week for sensitivity and values and all that poo poo. This was in '96. In '97 They had a big crackdown on hazing (think the marines accidentally killed some loving noob or something and was all over the news at the time) the week I graduated airborne school and we couldn't do "Blood Wings" or "Blood Rank" anymore, had to fill in "The Pit" which was a doughnut pond we threw people in when they hosed up and got a DUI or something. I got to do all the cool poo poo, and then got to see it all taken away during my enlistment.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 07:24
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a porta shitter. I jerked off on top of my turret with the hatch closed, waiting for a vehicle a few hundred yards away to get recovered at like 3 in the morning.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 07:35
|
|
|
Turret watch was the only time I jacked off in Iraq/Afghanistan. Hand crank the turret with my left hand, scanning my sector, while cranking down on myself with the other.
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 07:44
|
|
|
Jody Tocroach posted:Are stress cards still (or even ever really) a actual thing? I heard they added those not long after I went through. My rotation was the first to get "Sensitivity Training" Army basic was originally 8 weeks when I started and halfway through they added an extra week for sensitivity and values and all that poo poo. This was in '96. In '97 They had a big crackdown on hazing (think the marines accidentally killed some loving noob or something and was all over the news at the time) the week I graduated airborne school and we couldn't do "Blood Wings" or "Blood Rank" anymore, had to fill in "The Pit" which was a doughnut pond we threw people in when they hosed up and got a DUI or something. I got to do all the cool poo poo, and then got to see it all taken away during my enlistment. From what I hear, every rotation is the one just before they added stress cards. I haven't ever heard a story about them that wasn't an anecdote. Supposedly our rotation was a new, experimental "easier" basic where they gave us more freedom (we had pizza parties right before a 8-9 hour pass, and had 2 passes 2 weekends in a row) to see if it would make us not act out and do less dumb poo poo. I am pretty sure that is hogwash and the real reason was our DSes were lazy pieces of poo poo who were on their last rotation and hated their life for having to lie about how much the army is good and right every day.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 07:51
|
|
|
I'd never heard of "Stress Cards" so I went looking for more information. They don't exist. http://www.snopes.com/military/stresscards.asp
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 08:17
|
|
|
MassivelyBuckNegro posted:Turret watch was the only time I jacked off in Iraq/Afghanistan. Hand crank the turret with my left hand, scanning my sector, while cranking down on myself with the other. I also jerked off every time our living quarters' circuit breaker would trip thanks to facing the afternoon sun on LNK. Went to the head and abused myself, when I came back the power would be back on. Worked every time.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 08:53
|
|
|
I had it in an O's rear end in the morning and an E's babyhole that night in the 'stan, because as an intel guy what the gently caress was I supposed to do, work?
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 17:56
|
|
|
We had the "mile high solo club" which consisted of a group of dudes who would jack off in one of the lavs during a mission. I couldn't fathom jacking off on a mound of poo poo and blue goo so I never got in.
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 18:50
|
|
|
Isn't that basically the same as jacking it in a porta shitter
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 19:14
|
|
|
Bolow posted:Isn't that basically the same as jacking it in a porta shitter airborne porta shitter 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 19:36
|
|
|
Fewer flies to tickle your balls/rear end
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 20:39
|
|
|
Helldump Immunity. posted:I couldn't fathom jacking off on a mound of poo poo and blue goo so I never got in. welcome to n4is world 
|
|
#
?
Jan 22, 2015 21:43
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a CUCV.
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2015 00:27
|
|
|
Ogrel72 posted:
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2015 02:01
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a porta shitter.
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2015 05:15
|
|
|
Helldump Immunity. posted:I couldn't fathom jacking off on a mound of poo poo and blue goo so I never got in. I used to stare at the blue goo and mountain of poo poo and imagine i was flying over a tropical paradise and the water was so blue and clean and oh man its loving paradise
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2015 05:17
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 16, 2024 09:27 |
|
|
Nostalgia4Butts posted:I used to stare at the blue goo and mountain of poo poo and imagine i was flying over a tropical paradise and the water was so blue and clean and oh man its loving paradise Keep going. Almost there. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 23, 2015 05:23
|
|