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Ok here is the deal, i want to start a bullshit "viral" campaign involving "citrate omnivitamin tablets" (basically sugar and lemon flavoring) but i need some bullshit difficult to diagnose or prove "disorder" that it would not cure and claim that it does cure that very thing hypochondriac riches are at my (and your) fingertips lets make this happen 
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Jan 22, 2015 23:52
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I'll make the wiki
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Jan 22, 2015 23:53
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i tried your diet but i'm still a huge fatass
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Jan 22, 2015 23:53
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Top City Homo posted:Ok here is the deal, energy pills that keep you alert and burn fat, gimme my million dollars please
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Jan 22, 2015 23:54
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just say it cures hypochondria you'll suck in the dipshits that won't even bother looking up what that is and buy it anyways
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Jan 22, 2015 23:55
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Just use the cure for female hysterics pitch
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Jan 22, 2015 23:56
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turns out you actually want more fat in food as it helps with your digestion which can lead to both weight loss and sexual happiness. now pay me.
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Jan 22, 2015 23:56
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Chiropractors
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Jan 23, 2015 00:02
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Top City Homo posted:Ok here is the deal,
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Jan 23, 2015 00:10
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Just throw in a bunch of empathy, "It's not your fault" or "You've been unfortunate with your genetics". Tell them we understand. Tell them that this product is for them.
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Jan 23, 2015 00:12
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good good exploiting them emotionally and financially this can work
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Jan 23, 2015 00:16
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Cures the excess, flabby skin that comes with years of Goatse abuse.
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Jan 23, 2015 00:20
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the gatorade diet, you mix your beer with half gatorade and reduce your beer gut by half over time.
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Jan 23, 2015 00:20
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can we make a fake disease mainstream margellons or fybromyalgia or anal itching ' there has to be a minority i can exploit goddmanit
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Jan 23, 2015 00:28
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Top City Homo posted:there has to be a minority i can exploit goddmanit Say too much melanin is poisonous for you and that your pill can even out your melanin levels
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Jan 23, 2015 00:29
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CharlestonJew posted:Say too much melanin is poisonous for you and that your pill can even out your melanin levels they already have whitening creams for this 
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Jan 23, 2015 00:31
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I made the website lemonparty.org
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Jan 23, 2015 00:32
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Top City Homo posted:they already have whitening creams for this make one of those commercials where everything starts off in black and white and it shows a person fumbling around with whitening cream, putting it all over their shoes and their cat and poo poo while the narrator laments how hard it is to use whitening cream. Then BAM! You introduce Mela-B-Gone or something
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Jan 23, 2015 00:33
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Hey -- what about that multiple chemical sensitivity thing? It's like where ALL THE CHEMICALS everywhere affect you and make you sick. Like perfume people wear, laundry detergent, etc. Any chemical -- maybe every chemical -- is probably at this very moment bombarding our bodies with nanotoxins (think of better word here) so what we need is some sort of portable chemical neutralizer...
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Jan 23, 2015 00:35
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CharlestonJew posted:make one of those commercials where everything starts off in black and white and it shows a person fumbling around with whitening cream, putting it all over their shoes and their cat and poo poo while the narrator laments how hard it is to use whitening cream. Then BAM! You introduce Mela-B-Gone or something you sunnova bitch its genius
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Jan 23, 2015 00:35
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Top City Homo posted:anal itching ' this isn't a disease its a friday night
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Jan 23, 2015 00:36
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id like to buy one shipping container worth please of ur vitamins
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Jan 23, 2015 00:36
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I.C. posted:Hey -- what about that multiple chemical sensitivity thing? It's like where ALL THE CHEMICALS everywhere affect you and make you sick. Like perfume people wear, laundry detergent, etc. Any chemical -- maybe every chemical -- is probably at this very moment bombarding our bodies with nanotoxins (think of better word here) so what we need is some sort of portable chemical neutralizer... oh my god 
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Jan 23, 2015 00:36
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"formulated by iraq war veterans"
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Jan 23, 2015 00:36
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whoaaaaa e: anyway, I'm thinking it could be…a mist or a spray or something. Or nothing. Like a can of compressed air. Of homeopathic air. I.C. fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Jan 23, 2015 |
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Jan 23, 2015 00:37
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claim that it cures antiquated diseases like grocer's itch and milk leg that way the only people who know what the hell you're talking about are the elderly consumers that are easiest to scam
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Jan 23, 2015 00:44
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homeopathic spray is the best idea i have ever heard
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Jan 23, 2015 02:05
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Helps overcome wifi and electrical sensitivity by negativising your electrobalances. Simply insert a suppository whenever you feel slight discomfort.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:28
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pay an extra $20 for our special patented rag to dry off the mist spray if you don't feel like drip-drying yourself
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Jan 23, 2015 02:30
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People like drinking, I think there should be a wine based diet plan.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:33
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netally posted:Helps overcome wifi and electrical sensitivity by negativising your electrobalances. Simply insert a suppository whenever you feel slight discomfort. This right here is your ticket. You need an herbal remedy that reduces your sensitivity to EMF. Smart meters, wifi, cell phones etc are all the contemporary culprits to blame. Its a good choice for two reasons: There is no proven evidence that anyone is actually affected by EMF(short of sticking your head in a microwave), therefore there is no way to prove that your remedy isn't helping. Herbs(lawn clippings) are dry and lightweight, keeping your shipping costs to a minimum. You can even debunk some of the older bracelet/magnet frauds for what they are, and prove that a natural, biological remedy that you sell is the real solution.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:49
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OP you're going to want to claim it helps with fibromyalgia since it's also an illusion.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:50
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Lemon is a citrus so use some bs about powerful antioxidants Top City Homo posted:homeopathic spray is the best idea i have ever heard http://www.similasanusa.com
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Jan 23, 2015 02:55
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The gimmick is, you eat the food backwards. Like, through your butthole.
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Jan 23, 2015 02:55
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Jimong5 posted:Lemon is a citrus so use some bs about powerful antioxidants  how is that not parody
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Jan 23, 2015 02:58
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But this spray…you spray ON things, not IN you. It's like a crystal except better because it can penetrate…I don't even know.
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Jan 23, 2015 03:21
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Make it a suppository. A huge, huge suppository. Like eggplant size.
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Jan 23, 2015 03:44
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Internetjack posted:This right here is your ticket. You need an herbal remedy that reduces your sensitivity to EMF. Smart meters, wifi, cell phones etc are all the contemporary culprits to blame. this is why i love goons
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Jan 23, 2015 03:47
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say it cures fatigue and people will buy it
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Jan 23, 2015 03:47
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Top City Homo posted:this is why i love goons i skipped this post earlier but having read it now on ur recommend....it's a good post
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Jan 23, 2015 03:48
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