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BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Have at it, Goons. Throw your best zingers at each other!

But btw I am un-insultable. :colbert:

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Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
You seem nice.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

bb I have the DLC to ur heart

Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
That's sweet.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Rando posted:

You seem nice.

You smell like rancid rear end and your parents never loved you.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
poofter!!!!

Obligatory Toast
Mar 19, 2007

What am I reading here??

Retail Slave posted:

You smell like rancid rear end and your parents never loved you.

You work retail so who gives a gently caress

iSheep
Feb 5, 2006

by R. Guyovich
i love you

HUGE SPACEKABLOOIE
Mar 31, 2010


You work in retail

Rando
Mar 11, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
I take your hate and return love.

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a shitposter clothed with the sun, and the moon under his feet, and upon his head a crown of twelve cheeses.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
u have a face like a salami!!!!

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Orkin Mang posted:

u have a face like a salami!!!!

You have a dick the size of a pin.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

you have a dick the length of a PIN.

Electric Charity
Mar 22, 2009
you have a brain the width of a pin

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
^ You ^

A stupid, probably fat, oval office of a poo poo poster. (also, gay)

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

a hole-y ghost posted:

you have a dick the length of a PIN.

Only when soft! Geez!

I'm a grower, not a show-er.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
you funnytasting cum belch!!!

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

gently caress that dogs getting stomped lmao

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

a hole-y ghost posted:

I hosed that dog

Hey look, everyone! Morally Inept is back!

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

oh poo poo i don't remember saying that

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

guys did I gently caress a dog??? help

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

a hole-y ghost posted:

guys did I gently caress a dog??? help

Also, you have a really bad memory. Sorry to break this to you, but it's probably a tumor.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
gently caress you OP

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
windows 98 is a poo poo os

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

Orkin Mang posted:

windows 98 is a poo poo os

Orkin is a poo poo pest-removal service.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

your spirit animal is twee cockboy

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

a hole-y ghost posted:

your spirit animal is twee cockboy

holes are cool bro

hope the afterlife is nice for you

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

get an av white noise human being

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
i took a poo poo in your sock drawer

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen

TEAYCHES posted:

get an av white noise human being

No av at all is better than the pile of crap you have.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Retail Slave posted:

No av at all is better than the pile of crap you have.

Thanks for standing up for me, Retail Slave

I hope your Retail Masters are good to you this week! have a great one!

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

You're a skeleton, you cannot be trusted.

Helpimscared
Jun 16, 2014

I love you

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

you have a face perfect for rodeo.

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!
i think a holey ghost is a great guy

tvayisnihyaami
Dec 23, 2012

by Lowtax
god is love

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois
For some time now, I've been writing letters grounded on two key principles:

Tvayisnihyaami's the most quixotic, intransigent fast-talker in the annals of Man, and
Tvayisnihyaami has the manners of a repulsive, cocky drongo.
So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. Here's a purely hypothetical situation: Let's say you were a puerile lummox who believes that Tvayisnihyaami could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. Wouldn't you then at least consider the option of harming others or even instilling the fear of harm? I ask because Tvayisnihyaami is too oppressive to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that he is locked into his present course of destruction. He does not have the interest or the will to change his fundamentally eccentric editorials.

Tvayisnihyaami maintains that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately lubricious. Given Tvayisnihyaami's proclivity to make claims first and check facts later, this is an absurd untruth and means nothing. A more honest statement would be that I certainly hope that if we all keep Tvayisnihyaami's disciples at bay, this will bring us together in a national dialogue of learning instead of reducing us to recriminations and accusations. At a minimum, I expect it to help a large number of people see that there has been little scientific or scholarly analysis of Tvayisnihyaami's mean-spirited slogans. This is a glaring omission in strategic discourse, one that can be rectified only by examining how there is a format Tvayisnihyaami should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

I want to reinforce what is best in people. But first, let me pose an abstract question. If Tvayisnihyaami is allegedly such a proponent of open inquiry and debate, then why doesn't he want us talking about how it pains me to avoid profanity in describing his sullen, pestiferous bunco games? We should be able to look into our own souls for the answer. If we do, I suspect we'll find that his thesis is that justifying condemnation, constructive criticism, and ridiculing of him and his grotty arguments is something to be regulated, policed, feared, and controlled. That's utterly conceited, you say? Good; that means you're finally catching on. The next step is to observe that by locking people who need our help into a vicious cycle of indigence and ignorance, Tvayisnihyaami has erected a monument to Zendicism. Only it does not seem proper to say that such a thing has been “created”. “Excreted”, “belched”, “spewed”, and “spat out” are expressions more appropriate to the object here described. You see, in public, Tvayisnihyaami vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Tvayisnihyaami never fails to break us up into a set of quarreling, wrangling, squabbling factions.

Since this is one of those “don't say I didn't warn you” letters, I want also to note that I urge you to pay very close attention to Tvayisnihyaami's stinking propositions. Once you do, I am in no doubt that you will see what the rest of us clearly can, that Tvayisnihyaami has been taking credit for others' accomplishments. Such utter contempt for the autonomy and free agency of others is the hallmark of Machiavellianism and has no place in a free society. In a free society people can state, without fear of retribution, that many people think of Tvayisnihyaami's vicious demands as a joke, as something only half-serious. In fact, they're deadly serious. They're the tool by which pompous manipulative-types will substitute pap for art quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “indistinguishableness”. A second all-too-serious item is that the number of vagarious, dishonest carpetbaggers who wish to foster corruption and repression is on the rise. This statistic alone portends an encroaching, escalating, and all-encompassing calamity. What can we do to protect ourselves? Whenever that question is asked, Tvayisnihyaami and his drudges run and hide. I suspect that that's precisely what they're going to do now so as to avoid hearing me say that the one thing that's central to all of Tvayisnihyaami's maladroit, jealous crusades is a desire to dissolve the bonds that join individuals to their natural communities. I call this the New Cameralism. The old cameralism was concerned only with dumping effluent into creeks, lakes, streams, and rivers. Although that was bad enough, Tvayisnihyaami has been trying desperately hard to make the case that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of pretentious stereotypes. Sorry, Tvayisnihyaami, but I must respectfully disagree. My counterargument is that Tvayisnihyaami and his groupies are a cancer on our society. They will therefore do what cancer always does: kill the host. What's noteworthy about that observation is that I've heard Tvayisnihyaami say that the moon is made of green cheese. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Tvayisnihyaami secretly trying to panic irrationally and overreact completely? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that he keeps missing my point. More specifically, he keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that Tvayisnihyaami has a history of converting our children to cultural zombies in a mass of unthinking and easily herded proletarian cattle, he seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that if we do nothing, he will keep on causing riots in the streets. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can make Tvayisnihyaami pay for his crimes against humanity.

My purpose is to think outside the box. Most of the battles I fight along the way are exigencies, not long-range educational activities. Nevertheless, Tvayisnihyaami's policy of unleashing the forces of nihilism upon an unsuspecting populace must not go unchallenged. To leave it unchallenged is to condone Tvayisnihyaami's grandiose plans for world hegemony, plans in which no one is free to say that Tvayisnihyaami's teachings are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, communism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge.

I, speaking as someone who is not a rash cockalorum, defy the mudslinging faitours who deprive people of dignity and autonomy, and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. I myself suggest that we accentuate our universal humanity. This right and truthful proposition, practically established, will help us improve the world.

There are three points I need to make here. First, Tvayisnihyaami deems as off-limits, no matter how true or important, any commentary about how he is as beggarly as the sky is blue. Second, mad mouthpieces for abhorrent, belligerent conformism speak in order to conceal—or at least to veil—their thoughts. And third, according to him, the entire concept of happiness is a lie designed by unseen overlords of endless deceptive power. He might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Tvayisnihyaami would realize that he wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe “as many as six impossible things before breakfast”. Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that the rules don't apply to Tvayisnihyaami. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that if Tvayisnihyaami wants to be taken seriously, he should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults.

Tvayisnihyaami likes to argue that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that we must give you some background information about Tvayisnihyaami. I realize we cannot easily accomplish that in an environment grossly shaped by the insidious and obtrusive bias that his rantings inject into our society. That's why I like to say that the legality of Tvayisnihyaami's irritable mind games seems dubious. Alas, I am not aware of any lawsuit that has challenged them so all we can say for now is that the reason Tvayisnihyaami wants to spread lies, propaganda, and misinformation is that he's completely obstinate. If you believe you have another explanation for his stubborn behavior, then please write and tell me about it. Tvayisnihyaami is sympathetic to biased causes of all stripes. That's probably obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse. Nevertheless, I suspect that few people reading this letter are aware that if we don't disseminate as widely as possible all of the information we have regarding Tvayisnihyaami's xenophobic hastily mounted campaigns, then Tvayisnihyaami will soon become unstoppable. No borders will be able to detain him. No united global opinion will be able to isolate him. No international police or juridical institutions will be able to interdict him.

To the best of my knowledge, Tvayisnihyaami has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which he is God's representative on Earth. Then again, just because Tvayisnihyaami is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that people find his unrelenting, over-the-top hostility rather refreshing. His dour malisons are an evil without remedy. Of that I am certain because I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to take the lemons that he's handing us and make lemonade. And just let him try and stop me. One could imagine that some good might come from letting Tvayisnihyaami replace Robert's Rules of Order with “facilitated consensus building” at all important meetings. But the only one whose imagination is vivid enough is Tvayisnihyaami.

What we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with Tvayisnihyaami stating that he would never dream of converting houses of worship into houses of nosism. That prevarication incited his secret police to take us all back to the Stone Age. Nettlesome sleaze merchants reacted, in turn, by contravening decency. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in serfism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that we must put our religious and factional differences aside if we are ever to condemn Tvayisnihyaami's criminal ineptitude. This is worth noting because I myself have a practical plan for improving the state of education in this country. I propose that we get knowledgeable and well-trained teachers, equip them with syllabi filled with challenging texts and materials, and have them teach students that Tvayisnihyaami professes that he is perched atop the moral high ground. If so, then maybe he should climb down to scavenge for some facts before claiming that matters of racial justice should enter a period of “benign neglect”. One final point: Nothing sickens me more than seeing Tvayisnihyaami strap us down with a network of rules and regulations.

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
Tldr ruined this thread for everyone

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I Love Loosies
Jan 4, 2013


a garbage dick

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