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I am sure many of you beer (but also spirits, food, and wine) geeks have come across a review of a bottle or dish of something you just ate, or plan on having. Most reviews are helpful, giving in clear terms what they are ingesting, what it looks, smells, and tastes like and generally gives you a good idea of what to expect. Sometimes however, reviewers think they are supposed to write poetry, or a novel filled with imagery and metaphors in every line. Sometimes you get a review like this:quote:Pours a deep mahogany that has sublte hues of cola and dark caramel brown. Impeccable clarity even though it is almost completely opaque. If you turn your attention to the bottom of the glass you can clearly see the tiny champagne like bubbles rising furtively to the top. The head is tan and creamy. It's slow to fall and it constantly refreshes with each turn of the glass leaving a pretty thick layer on top. Sheets of lace to look at as they slide back down into the beer as you drink. Yes, this beer is vigorous and bewitching! In honor of having a couple small bottle shippers laying around I am holding a contest. Give me your most pretentious, ridiculous review. Do they list contradictory terms in trying to cram as many adjectives as possible into the aroma? Do they say has a taste of every fruit imaginable? Then that is what we are looking for! Rules below: 1.) All reviews must be amateurs and include a link. Sites like Beeradvocate.com and ratebeer.com are perfect fodder. Don't link to some guy who is paid to do this. I am not interested. 2.) Any review of beer, wine, spirit, or even food is ok. Each review should be of something that you can get again. Some guys homebrew or a chefs private meal doesn't count. It can be a rare or difficult to get thing, but I must be able to get it in some way. 3.) 1st place gets two bottles of beer, 2nd place gets one. This is mostly a beer oriented event, but I am all for equal mockery of everything. That said, you will get some craft from South Florida. Its a surprise as to what you get, but it will either be something from the cellar, or a growler/crowler of local beer. Yes, this event is partly because I have no clue what to do with my one and two bottle shippers. Winners will be determined solely by what makes my friend and I laugh and roll our eyes the most. Deadline will be TBA, but I will put a three day notice on it. Regulars of the beer thread have occasionally posted ridiculous reviews, so they know what we are looking for. This is primarily a contest for them, but everyone is welcome to participate. Feel free to post as many as possible, but be reasonable. Don't just spam a ton reviews. Good luck!
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 05:16 |
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# ? Apr 23, 2024 10:10 |
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This one immediately came to mind. Dunno if Facebook is kosher though! This is not the first time he has said a beer was as black as Oksana Biauls heart.
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 06:15 |
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I got this locked down. Choose your favorite review from TheBrewo on BA. The first one that caught my attention was Bell's Black Note (best parts in bold): http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/287/37265/?ba=TheBrewo quote:We pop the top on a bottle of the 2012 stock (thanks Ashley P.!!), and pour into our oversized tasting snifters. It shows the deepest Tootsie pop brown, letting though a few faint rays of shimmering ruby when scrutinized intensely under direct light. The pour was delicate and produced only a few aggregates of chocolate mousse colored bubbles, but a rough swirl of the glass kicks up more of a crown. Spots of lacing are found peppered around the glass in rows. No haze or sediment is noted, and carbonation appears to be light. The aroma, right from the start, gives epic waves of buttery, warming bourbon smoothness, even when still cold at fridge temperatures. As it warms it really starts to bud, offering notes of densely roasted chocolate and brown malts, singed molasses crisp, sweet brown breadiness, rich milk chocolate creaminess, dried raisins and candied black cherries, plum juiciness, soy sauce saltiness, plastic and chemical phenols, powdered cocoa, charred oak, gentle charcoal, harsh fusel ethanol, and faint grassy hop bitterness. Our first impression is that this beer is absolutely fantastic, and lives up to the hype with everything you would hope for. As we sip, the taste begins with fusel boozy burn of bourbon and its accompanying soured oak, sweet and lactic creaminess, cloying cherry fruit juiciness, sweet chocolate, coffee, and general brown maltiness, dark plum flesh, burning stomach acid acidity, and crisply roasted espresso beans. The middle peaks with undeniable sweetness of white sugar, musk, tannic breakfast tea leafiness, slimy Muscat grape skins, cloying milk and dark chocolate syrups, ethanolic rumbles, and smoky X-mas ham. Following through the end is a blend of bitter char and light smoke, sweeter brushes of both melty nibs and powdered dark cocoa, fig, truffle and sesame oiliness, musky oakiness, gravel, heavy creamer, and a final heavy roast of the malts mixing with the fleetingly smooth sweetness of the bourbon. The aftertaste breathes of rich and dark chocolate cocoa, bittering leathers, plastic phenols, fuming smokiness, distant floral hops, black cherry and plum juiciness, burn of bourbon, cooked brown sugars, buttery pie crust, diacetyls and sweet banana esters, basement musk, and perfumed phenols. The body is medium to fully, but chewy, while carbonation is light to medium. Each sip gives excellent slurp, smack, cream, froth, and pop, with the lips left speckled with quickly drying residual sugars. The mouth is coated and left sapped with those same sugars. This remains for quite some time, eventually giving way to a surprisingly mild tannic pucker focused towards the far back of the palate. The abv is appropriately warming, and the beer sips wildly slowly, as you’re not quite sure if you’ll ever see her again, and want to savor every last minute you have left with her. How about Founders Dark Penance: http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1199/127483/?ba=TheBrewo quote:We pop some bottles, pouring into our St. Bernardus goblets. It appears a deep brown walnut coloring, holding a one finger head of oily, disjointed latte bubbles. Retention is moderate, leveling into slick dripping islands of lacing around our glasses. No haze or sediment is noted, and carbonation appears to be robust, at least at the periphery. Smells include the deepest dark black malt roastiness, fruity cherry flesh, bile acidity, tinny metallics, bright soapy and tropical nectary hoppiness, emollient essence, buttery diacetyls, toasted coconut meat, drying cocoa powder, cologne muskiness, cold pressed coffee coolness, weedy florals, white flour, dried corn, manure funk, diabetic foot ulcer purulence (in the most oddly delicious way possible), and cooked brown sugar cloy. The taste buds meet a simple but hearty blend of heavily charred and roasted black and caramel malts, floral hoppiness, rosewater sweetness, black coffee bitters, hollow boozy wash, graphite, leathery oiliness, adhesive stickiness, vanilla coolness, white sugar, surprisingly bitter piney hops, green aloe saps, synthetic red grape juiciness, perfumed musk and dust, parsnip rootiness, plastic phenolic bitters, fully bittered cacao, and chocolate ice cream sprinkles. The body is solidly medium, and the carbonation is equally as medium. Slurp and smack come nicely off the liquid, but cream and froth are entirely lacking. Pop and glug remain intact. The mouth is cooled and dried with a chalky powderiness. The abv is appropriate, and the beer drinks back nicely. Mmmmmm yeah, delicious diabetic foot ulcer purulence! WHAT THE gently caress Highlights from other reviews: quote:The first thing you get is this harsh vodka booziness that is slowly chipped away by bittered grassy, herbal, and resinous hoppiness, dandelion leafiness and floral petal stickiness, dried hibiscus, sesame seediness, dill, black and Cheyenne pepper grit, celery salt, iceberg lettuce vegetals, chlorine, Elmer’s glue, hot plastic phenols, wood lacquer, and brandy woodiness. quote:The taste to follow was a powerhouse of cloying milk and dark chocolate syrups and malt bite, thick black molasses, burnt black, chocolate, and coffee maltiness, equally as sweet nectary and tropical pineapple, mango, and citric fruity hoppiness, marijuana brownie butter and batter, cardboard and Styrofoam, fiery booze, pencil tip woodiness, big bubblegum esters, liquid caramel, coppery metallics, burnt Creme brûlée sugars, muddy mineral, and cocoa-powdered truffles DIABETIC FOOT ULCER PURULENCE
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 08:16 |
mmmm cardboardiness, styrofoaminess and pencil tip woodiness
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 13:40 |
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Hahaha okay now those are amazing.
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 15:22 |
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some good ones from BA user Paisan: Rodenbach Vin De Céréale: "I have caught a double-agent. The owner of "d'Afspraak" in Mechelen told me it was hiding in his cellar. Un-be-liev-able it hadn't yet been discovered there. It's a wine pretending to be a beer, and a beer posing as a wine. It is neither and yet both. It doesn't don the expected white hat, nor does it wear the classic frivolous lace. No-nonsense attire, and a nice tan to boot. Suspicious already, I wanted to sniff it out. And oh, this Rodenbach was good at its job; it confused me even more. Cider, oak, chocolate, grass, malt: it was all there. An eau de toilette that could conceal anything and everything. Now that I had my teeth into it, I was determined to reveal it as a fraud, but it threw everything it had at me. Sweet and alluring, sourly contradicting my accusations, flirting and warm, such a smooth operator. Nearly had me calling it honey. I may have caught it, but I have to admit it seduced me - like you might expect of the goodlooking spies in a James Bond movie. And I don't regret it one bit, nor will I ever turn it in. There are few of them left in the world, and less every day - you'll be lucky if you ever get to see one, let alone catch it." Cantillon Gueuze 100% Lambic-Bio "Picture this: You're standing in the door of a threshing barn, looking out over an orchard with apples, lemons and oranges. The setting sun pours an amber haze over everything. You close your eyes and feel the sun's warmth on your face, and the smells of the fruit - sweet and sour, almost stinging -, and barn - wood, somewhat mouldy, different cereals, dust, undefinable funk - swirl and mingle. And you feel like you'd want to stay there forever. That's Cantillon geuze: amber to golden colour, your expected barnyard funky smell, and a very sour bite to it, just enough alcohol to warm you without burning. It's a geuze, and i happen to love those, and this one is quite exceptional. The ONLY pure and natural geuze: no addition of any yeasts, the wort is inoculated with wild yeast spores in the air. The original beer, in every sense."
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 16:18 |
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Rhettroactive has some "good" ones, as well. Mother of All Storms "From 22oz bottle to glass at Shannon's Big Bad Barleywine Tasting on 4/9/11. *From notes Vintage 2010 A: Imagine you've accidentally added a heaping dollop of molasses to the richest red velvet batter you've ever seen. That my friends is what this Mother looks like. A careful, straight pour yields an eye opening 1.75 finger head and reasonable lacing. S: Like the best vintage port you've never had. The bouquet on this one is simply marvelous. I can't begin to explain quite how complex this is. There are so many wild and crazy nuances exploding within my nostrils: figs, plums, dried apricots and hard caramel candy. I think I spent more time inhaling this godly concentrate then I did drinking it. T: Buy a farm. Once you've settled in and cultivated the soil, spend the next fifty years growing the choicest fruit trees the world over. Figs, dates, plums, morello cherries, persimmons and more. Their roots will grow deep into the earth. The heavenly fruit these trees will bear will vine ripen, and once at their peak, you'll harvest them by hand. After a long day in the field, take your prized crop home and dry them. Allow the sugars to crystalize, the skins to shrivel and the flavors to concentrate. With your old, weary and wrinkly hands, squeeze the dried fruits, wring every last drop. And once you've painstakingly completed this arduous task, bottle the Godly nectar and call it the Mother of All Storms. M: It feels like I'm drinking motor oil. It's extremely thick and cloying. From the moment it enters my mouth, it explodes with a sticky nature not seen in many brews. O: I'll keep it simple: Pelican's Mother of All Storms is best Enlgish Barleywine I've ever had. Period." Marrón Acidifié "From 750ml bottle to Bruges hybrid glass on 4/24/11 *From notes A: It's a hazy charred burgundy to burnt umber. A .75 finger head is the byproduct of a generous pour. There are floaties as well, which look like curdled milk, though they have no substance and cannot be detected within the mouth. S: The sour funk of black cherries and dried figs is astounding. It also showcases quite a bit of what I decect as new, medium toasted oak. Immensely complex. T: Vinegar hits and instantly the mouth begins watering. The mid is a playground for the dark fruits, which come off like sun dried concentrate. As it winds down, the tannic acid and vannilin dry the mouth ever so slightly, prepping the palate for the next nip. I've never in my life had a beer quite like this. Putting it into words seems to trivialize the experience. It simply must be had to be understood. Perfection. M: The carbonation is really welcoming, as I find most beers within the sour realm tend to be somewhat soft or flabby. This is slightly oily, but it suits the beer and it certainly has more body then most within the style. O: The Bruery and Cigar City have created a masterpiece with their Marron Acidifie. It stands as a monumental achievement, and will certainly be at or near the top of my 2011 best-of list." really, anything he reviewed early on and scored above a 4.4 reads like this.
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 16:26 |
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funkybottoms posted:Cantillon Gueuze 100% Lambic-Bio This is what bothers me most about this review. It's 5% alcohol. 5% buddy...Never have I felt a warming sensation from a 5% beer.
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 18:56 |
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This may or may not count, but these are some of the best descriptions I've ever heard. Now, his reviews are super helpful, and very nice, but some of his descriptors are just a bit much. Here's one of my favourite examples: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2UVmcrp3Nk&t=497s "Seaweed, costal, bonfires on a beach... in winter" It's really worth watching just for the superlatives. Still love Ralfy, but amusing nonetheless.
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# ? Jan 27, 2015 20:16 |
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Midorka posted:This is what bothers me most about this review. It's 5% alcohol. 5% buddy...Never have I felt a warming sensation from a 5% beer. Dome a 750 and you'll feel it. Not a great example, but my pet peeve in beer reviews is the superlative "smooth". It's everywhere and it means exactly nothing.
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# ? Jan 28, 2015 16:22 |
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funkybottoms posted:Cantillon Gueuze 100% Lambic-Bio Is it wrong that I actually like this review? It's certainly a lot better than the ten thousand nonsensical flavour descriptors sort of reviews; it really captures the feeling that the beer can impart without being ten thousand words in length. Maybe I'm part of the problem.
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# ? Jan 28, 2015 19:42 |
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You can like the review but it is still overkill. I'm personally holding out for a balls to the wall Red Dog review.
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# ? Jan 28, 2015 19:57 |
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ExtremistCow posted:Dome a 750 and you'll feel it. Not a great example, but my pet peeve in beer reviews is the superlative "smooth". It's everywhere and it means exactly nothing. I think I have an alcohol problem then, a 5% bomber will do nothing to me... I should curb my drinking habits.
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# ? Jan 28, 2015 20:22 |
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Krustster is killing it with those reviews. I have nothing to top them, but this one seemed a bit excessive to me. Das Wunderkind from Jester King. In my mind I'm picturing this reviewer as Edward Nigma from the new Gotham tv show, nerdy socially awkward dude who doesn't understand why people don't want to know every thought he has.quote:Another saison from the darling brewery of Texas. Refrigerated for a few days prior to opening. 4.5% ABV confirmed per the label. OG: 1.035. FG: 1.002. IBU: 16. 1 pint 9.4 fl oz brown glass bottle with appealing label art and fantastic cap art (on a branded pry-off pressure cap) acquired at me local HEB Grocery and served into Cantillon stemware in me gaff in low altitude Austin, Texas. Reviewed live. Expectations are above average; I like their sours but I've yet to be blown away by one of their saisons. Reviewed as a saison because it clearly identifies as such on the label. I appreciate that this dude took the time to repeat everything on the bottle, and even describe the bottle and cap that this came in. I'm just not sure how this person thinks it's complex enough, but wants more, and also for more subtlety. americanzero4128 fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Jan 29, 2015 |
# ? Jan 28, 2015 22:39 |
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Oh wow. That review was only missing what car he drove to pick it up, the mileage from store to home and what he wore at time of consumption.
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# ? Jan 29, 2015 00:08 |
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americanzero4128 posted:Krustster is killing it with those reviews. I have nothing to top them, but this one seemed a bit excessive to me. Das Wunderkind from Jester King. In my mind I'm picturing this reviewer as Edward Nigma from the new Gotham tv show, nerdy socially awkward dude who doesn't understand why people don't want to know every thought he has. I recognize that one as Kojevergas right off the bat. Realistically, his reviews are somewhat useful since they actually talk about the beer rather than listing 100 random adjectives, but it drives me nuts how he always throws in a line about where he's drinking it "in me gaff at low-altitude ______". And every single one says "no bubble show forms as I pour." What the hell is a bubble show, and why mention it if it never even happens?! Lol I just noticed his profile says: "Why do I frequently note the altitude of the region I have my beer in in my reviews? It's not pretension; altitude affects head retention." krustster fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Jan 29, 2015 |
# ? Jan 29, 2015 15:05 |
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I had never even seen a shooting star before. 25 years of rotations, passes through comets' paths, and travel, and to my memory I had never witnessed burning debris scratch across the night sky.
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# ? Jan 29, 2015 17:14 |
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From the goldmine of anime beer reviews - http://animebeers.com/tag/russian-imperial-stout/quote:The Czar from the Dictator Series by Avery Brewing is an 8.5% ABV Russian Imperial Stout.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 04:36 |
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Slore Tactician posted:From the goldmine of anime beer reviews - http://animebeers.com/tag/russian-imperial-stout/ Why is ... anime involved
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 12:31 |
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Anime character pairings
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 13:29 |
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WHY AM I ONLY NOW LEARNING OF THIS loving poo poo?
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 14:13 |
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Gonna pair all of my beer posts with anime figures from this point onward.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 14:31 |
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danbanana posted:
Lmao I thought this was the regular beer thread and you were excited about BA Narwhal, and just happened to have an anime girl in the background.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 14:39 |
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air- posted:Gonna pair all of my beer posts with anime figures from this point onward. this guy has the mega-busty anime babe thing on lock, so you're gonna have to change it up- maybe play the yoai angle?
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 15:16 |
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steampunkbeerreviews.com
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 15:35 |
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Slore Tactician posted:From the goldmine of anime beer reviews - http://animebeers.com/tag/russian-imperial-stout/ Swickles, please just send Slore Tactician all the beer. This is endlessly amazing. The most recent review contains these sentences: quote:Trust me, she gets you good as you try to take her on further and further. She will always bee the Dragon that gives the Dragon’s milk. THAT IS SO AMAZING.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 15:46 |
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danbanana posted:Swickles, please just send Slore Tactician all the beer. This is endlessly amazing. The most recent review contains these sentences: while they're highly entertaining, these reviews are way more sad/hilarious than pretentious.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 16:30 |
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Lmao what a site. Why even have a rating system if everything is like 6/5. Though I guess there are other questions I should be asking about this guy.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 17:44 |
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My co-worker emailed it to me last night. I suppose I've got some questions for him now.
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 18:14 |
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So far I vote the prize split between Slore Tactician and Krustster, because "DIABETIC FOOT ULCER PURULENCE".
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# ? Jan 30, 2015 18:33 |
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crazyfish posted:So far I vote the prize split between Slore Tactician and Krustster, because "DIABETIC FOOT ULCER PURULENCE". Don't forget that the diabetic foot ulcer purulence is "oddly delicious"
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 02:43 |
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Slore Tactician posted:From the goldmine of anime beer reviews - http://animebeers.com/tag/russian-imperial-stout/ 6/5 You win. This is amazing. Truly Master Pairings at work.
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 06:03 |
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can i post descriptions from brewery websites?
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 15:33 |
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funkybottoms posted:can i post descriptions from brewery websites? Hill Farmstead is low-hanging fruit, man. No deal.
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 15:38 |
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danbanana posted:Hill Farmstead is low-hanging fruit, man. No deal. naw, Adroit Theory: "Tear off your suit-and-tie straightjacket; this soulful beer plunges you into the blackness we are normally numb to. Submerge yourself in the riches of an alternate life, outside the corporate fishbowl. Obscured in the depths of this Russian Imperial Stout you encounter a full-roasted body that provides food for dark contemplation. Hiding behind the toasted tones lurk intriguing wisps of complex flavors: aged woods, fresh fruits, earthy nuts. This malty exploration of the soul leaves you wondering: was the darkness in the bottle, or was it in me all along?" "The world trembles with the beat: the marching steps of mechanical sheep in plastic stalls. Where are they going, and who is holding the remote control? Resentment simmers, revolution boils, and the rage is just waiting to explode. A Siberian bitterness and a tropical Citra heat create anarchy in a glass, a rabble-rousing brew that refuses to be mastered. This Molotov Cocktail demands a response, hinting at ashes and ruin as we stare down the commercial/industrial monster. Join the protest. Craft the revolution." i mean, poo poo, i can link any single page from that site and it will never get less awful.
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 16:58 |
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That diabetic foot ulcer thing has to be a joke
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 19:10 |
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Holy poo poo, anime pairings can not be topped...
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# ? Jan 31, 2015 19:17 |
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Whodat Smith-Jones posted:That diabetic foot ulcer thing has to be a joke I'm not so sure. More from the same guy(s): quote:Otherwise, notes of powdery pale grain and dry white wheatiness, herbal lemongrass and thyme, burnt table crackers, wood lacquer, sidewalk salt, light clove and coriander spice, faint citric and herbal hoppiness, fragrant morning dew, wet wood mold and moss, and pencil erasers filled in the remainder. The taste to follow showed puckering saltiness and lemon rind tartness, hollow raw cocoa and carob powder without any of the depth of roast or graininess, hot bronzy metallics, chemical phenols, green grassiness, souring wet wheat, toasty pale malt grit, funky and tart wild yeast and bacterial fermenters, and corny adjuncts. With warmth to near room temperature, the flavoring took on a much, much sweeter vibe, with white sugars and raw and herbal honey twinge. The body was extensively light, with carbonation bubbling away at a medium clip. Despite a decent slurp and smack, cream and froth around the mouth were entirely subdued, with the mouth formed in an expectant pucker. The mucosa was otherwise quickly depraved of any wet coating as an astringent dryness rode along this creeping and definitive puck. quote:. The aroma was wildly unique, boasting notes of hot licorice, burnt sunflower seeds, Magic Marker phenols, massive sunscreen chemical smear, soothing but equally as synthetic aloe gel, rich and sweet chocolate and coffee malt roastiness, marshmallow sugars, nutmeg, allspice, black pepper, sweetly soft ethanol, and fresh vanilla coffee creamer. The taste followed in an identical shell, with the most prominent note being that planty aloe stickiness. Otherwise, dissenting flavors included an earthen herbal hoppiness, dustier black malts, olivine brine, phenolic plastics and chemicals, gingerbread, and honey-dipped Graham crackers. quote:The aroma offered notes of heavy synthetic lemon cleaner and choppy citric hoppiness, harsh aluminum, light plastic phenols, soft black peppery booziness, honey, concrete, wood lacquer, partially toasted pale malts, amber grain brush, and adjuncty filler malt. The taste was much, much less robust, with teasing hints of a more bittered and grassy hop watered through with pale and corny, adjuncty malts, whole wheat and oatmeal crackers, simple but brassy ale yeastiness, straw, tart lemon rind, manila envelope, and plastic garbage bags. quote:...vanilla bean ice cream, devil’s food cake, freshly wiped dry-erase board, soy sauce, spicy booziness, balsa wood, and cinnamon lip gloss. The flavoring followed nicely in a purity of balance between sweet and bitter. Notes included harshly bittering raw cocoa flakes, more sugary sweet melty milk chocolates, richly roasted and charred chocolate and black malts, clean black hazelnut coffee flavoring, burnt caramel, kiwi skin, dried cherry fruitiness, plastic phenols, raw cereal graininess, mild shortbread cookie breadiness, buttercream icing, flannel, and earthen mineral. There's well over a thousand of these reviews. And every one mentions "slurp, smack, cream and froth" and I have absolutely no idea what that is actually supposed to mean. I'm still looking through these to find another favorable comparison to infected open wounds though. No luck so far.
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# ? Feb 1, 2015 21:29 |
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BEERchitect's review of DBH "Maturity, power, grace. Savory, succulent, robust. These are the repetitive words that's going to be used as there are few flavor descriptors that can fully explain this transcendent ale. Its simply in a class all to its own. The most gentle and rolling pour coats the glass like black ink. Leaving its indelible dye on the glass, a slow and simmering release of creme creeps to the surface looking much more like viscous espresso than of stout. With no meaningful retention or lace, the beer simply doesn't need it- its own imposing darkness and denseness speaks for itself. Double Barrel Hunaphu's Imperial Stout releases a decadent aroma matrix that seduces the nose with dark chocolate, espresso, fudge, brownie batter, port wine, rum, bourbon, vanilla and caramel- speaking to only the high notes, the mere whiff brings about mouth-whetting and meat-sweats conviction. Its taste is even more lavish as its silky and marshmallowy sweetness is laces with full bodied espresso, bittersweet chocolate, and all the fudgy, brownie, nutty and oaken richness that the nose saw so profound. Its vinous middle ground is of savory sherry, port wine, oaked merlot, spiced rum and bourbon-sweet vanilla, char and wood spice. Its long and villainous finish wraps around the mouth with a dessert-like coat that's never wavering. Silky smooth and velvety throughout- its milkshake-like consistency gropes each and ever taste bud and slathers on its decadent richness. Even the most supple sip coats the mouth with its creamy cocoon and is slow to release- a definite sipper meant for the most profound of celebrations. As its spicy warmth trails, notions of liqueur-laced choclate desserts come to mind yet this is an ale with utmost complexity and satisfaction sure to top every craft beer enthusiasts wish list" this guys has written thousands of reviews, so he might have something equally bad in there, but no way am i going to keep reading them.
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# ? Feb 1, 2015 22:22 |
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# ? Apr 23, 2024 10:10 |
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funkybottoms posted:this guys has written thousands of reviews, so he might have something equally bad in there, but no way am i going to keep reading them. I'm amazed he didn't use the word "lush"
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# ? Feb 1, 2015 22:25 |