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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I'm sure she means every kiss even though she can identify every male from her home town based on the taste of their semen alone

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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Sure she says she was tired on your wedding day cause she couldn't sleep from giddyness but it was actually because the male strippers she hired ran a train on her

smoobles
Sep 4, 2014

e/n is that way, sorry about your relationship

dads_work_files
May 14, 2008

important_document.avi

wow my wifes brother makes another thread on gbs.... thanks gary

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Too bad she doesn't want to try anal with you cause she learned she didn't like it when three large black men hosed her rear end for over an hour when she was in college

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

Congrats on locking in on inexperience and sexual incompatibility.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
you seem really bitter, OP? is everything ok? it's fine to go gay :glomp:

Wootman
Sep 6, 2014

by XyloJW
Are u okay friend? Did your wife get slammed in the rear end by your best friend while you watched?

youre wife
Dec 25, 2014

by Ralp
Hey! What's with all this baseless slander?

Slow News Day
Jul 4, 2007

Wootman posted:

Are u okay friend? Did your wife get slammed in the rear end by your best friend while you watched?

i believe there's a word for that

go on, you can say it

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
Yer wife was a virgin when I met her.

Prostheticfoot
Mar 27, 2002
Clearly you have no idea what a super annoying clingy psychopath a woman becomes when you take her virginity. You instantly become "the one." Think Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. No thanks

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

I don't know if she was a virgin when I met her but she sure isn't now!

Literal Carehaver
Oct 20, 2014

by Cowcaster
*knock knock*

HYMEN INSPECTOR!

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW
What kind of a loving creep weirdo would marry a virgin?

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
sorry your micropenis can only satisfy women who don't know any better

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Hobohemian posted:

What kind of a loving creep weirdo would marry a virgin?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
I put my peepee in her poopoo place.

Business Octopus
Jun 27, 2005

Me IRL

Prostheticfoot posted:

Clearly you have no idea what a super annoying clingy psychopath a woman becomes when you take her virginity. You instantly become "the one." Think Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. No thanks

The best is to be her third or fourth guy. Enough experience that she knows a thing or two, but not enough that she has an accurate sample size to determine how small your penis is.

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Business Octopus posted:

The best is to be her third or fourth guy. Enough experience that she knows a thing or two, but not enough that she has an accurate sample size to determine how big a loser you are.

Quoted for truth

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
HELLO LADY I WOULD LIKE TO DATE! WOULD YOU MIND TAKING THE ANCIENT CHINESE HYMEN BREAKING EGG TEST BEFORE WE SALLY FORTH?!?!?

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop
a woman just needs to be able to carry a century egg in her nethers without smushing it. then she is marriage material

The Whole Internet
May 26, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Hobohemian posted:

What kind of a loving creep weirdo would marry a virgin?

aatrek joke

BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007

is this jon pop again??

Frogisis
Apr 15, 2003

relax brother relax
lol if you marry some uptight boring loser chick who never got laid

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

I like holes

Dr. Video Games 0112
Jan 7, 2004

serious business
Marrying virgins is something of a popular thing in India I heard.

fearlessflyingfish
Dec 24, 2014

Did you seriously pack drugs and candy for dinner?
After getting a 4chan kid drunk, I discovered that all those people crying about how their women need to be virgin are actually terrified that their lack of experience will show and that all the wimmin will go swimming away.

It's kinda adorable actually!

ZombieJesus
Feb 26, 2005

He died for your sins, he rose for your BRAINS
lol if you get married, congrats on only loving one person for the rest of your life (or until you go through a bitter divorce cause your wife is unhappy with your ED)

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Frogisis posted:

lol if you marry some uptight boring loser chick who never got laid

remember this famous kiss?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp-jZyzQSms

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Laffo! If you even consider marrying a woman before smashing it. Typical beta bitch. Give me a months salary & I'll show you how to tighten that poo poo up.

fearlessflyingfish
Dec 24, 2014

Did you seriously pack drugs and candy for dinner?

Dude, you're just jealous that you've never had a love so pure that you devoured her tongue before her screaming family.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014
my wife's vag tells a colorful story of past sexual deviance, just how i like it

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
is this where i can post about how christians placing so much importance on marriage and not having sex before it makes them get married really quickly (trashily quickly some might say) to people they barely know and make it all about getting to gently caress each other for the first time

ie placing too much value on marriage has caused them to devalue marriage in an xtremely ironic turn of events

idc because im doing it anyway

Laslow
Jul 18, 2007
Of course my wife was a virgin. How do you think I cured my HIV?

Cake Smashing Boob
Nov 5, 2008

I support black genocide

Volume posted:

I'm sure she means every kiss even though she can identify every male from her home town based on the taste of their semen alone

yeah well so can I

fearlessflyingfish
Dec 24, 2014

Did you seriously pack drugs and candy for dinner?

XMNN posted:

is this where i can post about how christians placing so much importance on marriage and not having sex before it makes them get married really quickly (trashily quickly some might say) to people they barely know and make it all about getting to gently caress each other for the first time

ie placing too much value on marriage has caused them to devalue marriage in an xtremely ironic turn of events

idc because im doing it anyway

http://thelantern.com/2015/01/opinion-pope-right-to-warn-against-breeding-like-rabbits-overpopulation-is-a-serious-issue/

Even the Pope was like "Yo, you guys are doing this all crazy and stupid" and then they were all like "WHAT DO YOU KNOW POPE HUH?!?"

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
lol if your cock isnt coated in so much pussy juice from all the women you've banged that you can actually feel your wife's sliz

gay sewer monster
Jan 18, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

fearlessflyingfish posted:

After getting a 4chan kid drunk, I discovered that all those people crying about how their women need to be virgin are actually terrified that their lack of experience will show and that all the wimmin will go swimming away.

It's kinda adorable actually!

Wow, this is something that I never could've inferred using common sense! Thanks for getting that one computer kid drunk so that we can learn, though. :science:

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fearlessflyingfish
Dec 24, 2014

Did you seriously pack drugs and candy for dinner?

gay sewer monster posted:

Wow, this is something that I never could've inferred using common sense! Thanks for getting that one computer kid drunk so that we can learn, though. :science:

You're very welcome, thank you!

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