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Naylenas
Sep 11, 2003

I was out of my head so it was out of my hands


A friend of mine started, in December, getting calls from an old lady regarding some money owed to her by a "Troy". This isn't my friend's name. He assured her that he wasn't Troy, that he didn't know who has her money. She accused him of lying. She called back constantly, so he blocked her number.

But she kept leaving him voicemails. At first it was only one or two every few days, shortly after that it became between 10 and 30 voicemail messages a day. He's received about 300 or so messages from her since the first, all of about 4 minutes in length. Twelve hours.

He contacted the local PD and explained the situation and they assured him they would handle it. She is still calling, leaving messages as I type this.

And now, without further ado:

Voicemails from a demented elderly woman

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dvorak
Sep 11, 2003

WARNING: Temporal rift detected!
After doing the right thing isn't enough, all you can do is listen.

Spiderjelly
Aug 22, 2006

Sign of evil.
a yankee

Beast Pussy
Nov 30, 2006

You are dark inside

I was laughing so hard I had to get myself a glass of juice.

Captain Candiru
Nov 9, 2006

These hips don't lye
I was hoping she'd have broken out some of the "black guys" nicknames in one of those phone calls.

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride

Lipstick Apathy
those 4 black guys

Naylenas
Sep 11, 2003

I was out of my head so it was out of my hands


Listen to it with this underneath.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0v6dmme1DU

The Taint Reaper
Sep 4, 2012

by Shine
I had a demented old lady who wrote me a letter about leaving my Siberian Husky in the snow during the day and that it was animal cruelty because she could see our Husky on the snow mound(the dog would sleep in the snow) and that she has watched the dog for hours and it had not moved or eaten anything.

I wrote her back telling her I bought the dog in at night and she just likes being out during the day and we feed her when she gets inside.


The next day she was throwing baguettes over the fence and the dog was going ballistic because "OMG FOOD" but everything fell out of the dog's reach. I had to convince her that the dog was not being abused by showing her the crate of kibble and Styrofoam containers of meat I would cook for the dog.

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax

Kumbamontu posted:

those 4 black guys
https://www.facebook.com/thosefourguys :stare:

Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008


u know, u can probably go on your carriers website and completely block the number


as in, he wont even know when she calls

Kakarot
Jul 20, 2013

by zen death robot
Buglord

Naylenas posted:

A friend of mine started, in December, getting calls from an old lady regarding some money owed to her by a "Troy". This isn't my friend's name. He assured her that he wasn't Troy, that he didn't know who has her money. She accused him of lying. She called back constantly, so he blocked her number.

But she kept leaving him voicemails. At first it was only one or two every few days, shortly after that it became between 10 and 30 voicemail messages a day. He's received about 300 or so messages from her since the first, all of about 4 minutes in length. Twelve hours.

He contacted the local PD and explained the situation and they assured him they would handle it. She is still calling, leaving messages as I type this.

And now, without further ado:

Voicemails from a demented elderly woman

cry more noob

Beast Pussy
Nov 30, 2006

You are dark inside

Zeike posted:

cry more noob

Top quality comedy.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
it sounds like a guy trying to sound like an middle age woman

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
play this in the background for maximum effect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVekJTmtwqM

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum

Kumbamontu posted:

those 4 black guys

I didn't see this coming

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum
Is she reading all of this?

ComradeChrist
Feb 29, 2004
Xtreme Radical Leftism!

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

u know, u can probably go on your carriers website and completely block the number


as in, he wont even know when she calls

He did, and it now no longer rings at all. However, he was informed they cannot block her in the voicemail system. So it just goes straight to voicemail now, and has for almost two months now.

Since this came up another one came in:
You mean the voicemail box of Troy the crook!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsi7BplRsq0

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx
Why doesn't he just answer and call her a dumb oval office every time she calls, and then hang up?

edit: or sue her for harassment.

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

He should just give her the $500.

fakeaccount
Jun 22, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
He should unblock her and put her on 3 way calls with phone sex lines

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

This is like Raleigh Soliloquy.

krampster2
Jun 26, 2014

Why's this old lady hating on malnourished starved people so much? Bet she goes to Africa with her gang of four black dudes and just beats on starving kids for fun.

fakeaccount
Jun 22, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

fakeaccount posted:

He should unblock her and put her on 3 way calls with phone sex lines

I mean seriously, he he should straight up call up a phone sex line and describe in graphic detail how he's beating off while she tells him he's the devil eating crackers

ComradeChrist
Feb 29, 2004
Xtreme Radical Leftism!

fakeaccount posted:

I mean seriously, he he should straight up call up a phone sex line and describe in graphic detail how he's beating off while she tells him he's the devil eating crackers

I'm driving around in my big black hearse with four black guys! I'm the devil eating crackers! I am the whore master!

Here is where the 'Whore Master" quote comes from:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uuYX6XTu18&t=180s

Cracked_Gear
Nov 4, 2013

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uuYX6XTu18

"My cats have the dry food but they want the canned!"

so sad and funny

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
why do I have to subscribe to listen to the old lady this is bad and dumb

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


I'm the black guys in the op

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

junkies are scum

Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.
Rich Evans as Mrs Plinkett.

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.
Uncle Teddy:

87, whoremaster, crazy man

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
where is the $500 op

where is it

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum
She's like 90 years old, her husband Mr. Teddy A.K.A The Whoremaster is already dead and she's this mad about 500$

Also lol at her getting scared, changing the locks and demanding he leaves the money on the porch instead of in the umbrella.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL
i don't think she sounds like an old lady at all.

this is probably some kind of art project.

Joust
Dec 7, 2007

No Ledges.

Rambling Robot posted:

i don't think she sounds like an old lady at all.

this is probably some kind of art project.

You're a rotgut.

Frogisis
Apr 15, 2003

relax brother relax
With all that talk about not eating enough and starving yourself? She old, dude.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012
just get a new number

Cracked_Gear
Nov 4, 2013

she reminds me of my grandma after she had a few beers :(

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

Cracked_Gear posted:

she reminds me of my grandma after she had a few beers :(

she threatened to get 4 black boys to chop off your fingers till you gave her $500?

Naylenas
Sep 11, 2003

I was out of my head so it was out of my hands


I like that she thinks people will commit felonies for her because $500

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Beast Pussy
Nov 30, 2006

You are dark inside

Naylenas posted:

I like that she thinks people will commit felonies for her because $500

Because her dead husband bought them hamburgers or something.

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