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Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
food is a blessing

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Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

Ocean Book posted:

food is a blessing

so is cum, which is why i always get down on my knees and clasp my hands together over a big meaty cock to say a prayer before i go to town on it

matrix ripoff
Mar 16, 2005

~~~~~~~
i only suck dick in self defense
~~~~~~~
and at the bookstore
~~~~~~~
i used to work with this old grandpa man who'd go out to chipotle like constantly and he'd call it "chi-pottle" because ha ha that's humor when you're his age

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

matrix ripoff posted:

i used to work with this old grandpa man who'd go out to chipotle like constantly and he'd call it "chi-pottle" because ha ha that's humor when you're his age

i hope he's dead now

matrix ripoff
Mar 16, 2005

~~~~~~~
i only suck dick in self defense
~~~~~~~
and at the bookstore
~~~~~~~

A misanthrope posted:

i hope he's dead now

:(

jesus that's cruel; he was a swell fella who loved his kids and grandkids

Muerte
Jan 22, 2015

What does praying do? Nothing that's what, go take your attention seeking bullshit to your church and pray for your meals there. I don't want my children introduced to your weird and creepy bullshit.

E; I don't have kids but you know

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Muerte posted:

What does praying do? Nothing that's what, go take your attention seeking bullshit to your church and pray for your meals there. I don't want my children introduced to your weird and creepy bullshit.

E; I don't have kids but you know

I pass a crystal three or four times over my meals before eating so I can maximize my magnetism intake.

I also only eat at restaurants built on top of ley lines if I can.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

matrix ripoff posted:

:(

jesus that's cruel; he was a swell fella who loved his kids and grandkids

oh that's different then i REALLY hope he's dead now and that it hurt

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Hi, welcome to heaven. Ok let's get right to this.

Baptised...check. You gave thousands of dollars to local charities, good, good. Oh! Says here you went on a humanitarian mission to nurse Ebola patients, that's great!


Oops...hold on. Ooh, seems you didn't pray before you ate that fast food burrito that one time?

Hmm yeah my hands are tied here. It's off to hell with you.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

Hi, welcome to heaven. Ok let's get right to this.

Baptised...check. You gave thousands of dollars to local charities, good, good. Oh! Says here you went on a humanitarian mission to nurse Ebola patients, that's great!


Oops...hold on. Ooh, seems you didn't pray before you ate that fast food burrito that one time?

Hmm yeah my hands are tied here. It's off to hell with you.

lol at this guy who doesn't understand how prayer works.

You pray over food to ask for protection from food poisoning. You pray in church to get into heaven.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Applewhite posted:


You pray over food to ask for protection from food poisoning.

The Lord does not appreciate you praying to pagan diarrhea gods.

sexy young infidel
Nov 13, 2014

Faggot of the Year
2012, 2014
actually OP its probably the best time to pray over food, is when its lovely fast food, the most likely kind to make you sick... wow, didn't think of that did you?

Helpimscared
Jun 16, 2014

burritolingus posted:

Should be thankful for every meal because there's someone out there not eating and hungry.

How is me praying going to fix that?

a star war betamax
Sep 17, 2011

by Lowtax
Gary’s Answer
yeah it's definitely disgusting that people believe in God and follow religious observances op

matrix ripoff
Mar 16, 2005

~~~~~~~
i only suck dick in self defense
~~~~~~~
and at the bookstore
~~~~~~~

A misanthrope posted:

oh that's different then i REALLY hope he's dead now and that it hurt

I.... jesus what's wrong with you

i'm going to pray for you
































TO GET HIT BY A TRUCK!!!!

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
I just wish...just wish that for once something really bad would happen...something that would put all you spoiled brats out to pasture...something that would make you really appreciate every tender morsel that touches your undeserving lips...

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

a starwar betamax posted:

yeah it's definitely disgusting that people believe in God and follow religious observances op

Wooten posted:

Grog think sun okay with abortion.

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

Applewhite posted:

lol at this guy who doesn't understand how prayer works.

You pray over food to ask for protection from food poisoning. You pray in church to get into heaven.

prayer is about quiet reflection and being thankful for all that u have. it isn't about wishing for stuff or trying to get into heaven. why don't you try talking to a real religious person once in a while

Sibilant Crisp
Jul 4, 2014

Muerte posted:

Just say Taco Bell, there is no other Mexican drive through unless you live in Mexico.

I live in Arizona and there are at least 500 different variants of 'berto's' every 10 feet here.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Cnut the Great posted:

why don't you try talking to a real religious person once in a while

I can't, we don't have chipotle in canada :(

Muerte
Jan 22, 2015

Butyraceous posted:

I live in Arizona and there are at least 500 different variants of 'berto's' every 10 feet here.

I'm in Arizona as well we fall under the Mexico catigory.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Cnut the Great posted:

prayer is about quiet reflection and being thankful for all that u have. it isn't about wishing for stuff or trying to get into heaven. why don't you try talking to a real religious person once in a while

If it's about quiet reflection then why do they say it out loud? Checkmate, Christians.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

Hi, welcome to heaven. Ok let's get right to this.

Baptised...check. You gave thousands of dollars to local charities, good, good. Oh! Says here you went on a humanitarian mission to nurse Ebola patients, that's great!


Oops...hold on. Ooh, seems you didn't pray before you ate that fast food burrito that one time?

Hmm yeah my hands are tied here. It's off to hell with you.

Praying over food used to an offering to god, not to thank him for it.
So these dumb fucks were offering god $4 for eternal life basically.

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

Applewhite posted:

If it's about quiet reflection then why do they say it out loud? Checkmate, Christians.

so taht others may know and be inspired by god's boundless glory

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy

Panniculus Rift posted:

put them jesus beats in..


.. and ride
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTTUBdUkCVo

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Cnut the Great posted:

so taht others may know and be inspired by god's boundless glory

If God's glory is so boundless, why does he need some douchey loser to rep for him?

Infidel Castro
Jun 8, 2010

Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice




Dear Jesus, bless this chicken burrito that got torn by the girl while she was wrapping it up, and and may you bring down fiery judgement on Matt for not putting enough loving guac on. Amen.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

happyhippy posted:

Praying over food used to an offering to god, not to thank him for it.
So these dumb fucks were offering god $4 for eternal life basically.
You voted this deal: +1
Reason: "omg thank you so much for finding this i always thought salvation would be more difficult"

a star war betamax
Sep 17, 2011

by Lowtax
Gary’s Answer
as an atheist..... life just makes sense. for instance

Hungry Joe
Nov 27, 2006

DDFH
Dear sweet 7lb 6oz lil baby Jesus, thanks you for this bountiful splendor before us

On tha real my parents pray before meals in public all the time

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

Applewhite posted:

If God's glory is so boundless, why does he need some douchey loser to rep for him?

look, i don't really know, but i'm sure it all makes sense. it's a religion that's been around for thousands of years. it's been thoroughly vetted for flaws and logical errors, and it's come up clean. otherwise it wouldn't have survived so long

Phlairdon
Apr 15, 2003

If you can't stand up you can't do war!
OP didn't specify to whom they were praying to. Might've been a satanic prayer, in which case that's pretty :black101:

The 5th Foid
Nov 22, 2014

by Ralp
They were thankful OP

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
lol gently caress people who believe in a higher power, amirite?

exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


I ate a whole bunch of eggs and yogurt before an important meeting at work today and now I'm praying that my bowels hold up for another two hours.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

exquisite tea posted:

I ate a whole bunch of eggs and yogurt before an important meeting at work today and now I'm praying that my bowels hold up for another two hours.

Are you posting this from the meeting?

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Applewhite posted:

lol gently caress people who believe in a higher power, amirite?

A higher power that cares about what loving salad dressing they will use, yup.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

happyhippy posted:

A higher power that cares about what loving salad dressing they will use, yup.

God cares about everything. He is infinite, which means He has an infinite amount of time to devote to each and every one of us.

anchoress
Dec 24, 2011

by XyloJW

Applewhite posted:

God cares about everything. He is infinite, which means He has an infinite amount of time to devote to each and every one of us.

he has an infinite amount of time but he clearly doesn't use it

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exquisite tea
Apr 21, 2007

Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."


Applewhite posted:

Are you posting this from the meeting?

We're about to get started and my gut is already at a low rumble, it's gonna take a miracle to keep this in until 3.

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