Grognards.txt NEXT: Goodnight, Sweet Wince

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Grognards.txt NEXT: Goodnight, Sweet Wince

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

The pearl farmers must now hire either fishmen or divers, but they can afford to pay them since the price for pearls is so high. As the economy restabilizes in a new equilibrium, more money is circulating and there's no slaves anymore. A suitable end to a heroic campaign. Well done, all!

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 07:50

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 10:17

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Hipster Occultist posted:

I don't know what to say to this other than "haha nope"

This is the kind of thing that can only have actually occurred through some massive and deliberate misunderstanding of the rules, because even the most brazen and flat-out lying edition warrior would know better than to just make up something as ludicrous and impossible as this.

So now I want to know the details.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2015 21:09

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

ProfessorCirno posted:

The comments overall are amazing, because almost every single one ignores what Urquhart says and goes "ACTUALLY I BET IT WAS 4e, IF HE PLAYED 5e HE'D KNOW HE'D KNOW."

The thing is, I can see perfectly why a video game developer would think 5e would be difficult to translate into a digital medium: computer games are not yet capable of making all the "DM's call" decisions on a case-by-case basis that running 5e seems to require by design.

I'm still salty we won't see a 4e-based computer game.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2015 01:20

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Somebody does their homework. For those not from north Texas, the Dallas Eagle is a well-known leather bar in Oak Lawn, a historically gay neighborhood near downtown.

EDIT: Apparently from a sock of the same guy:

quote:

So I've been running a 5E campaign for a couple of months now and I've got to confess that I am having some major problems with a player who recently joined us. Now we've all been excluded from something in our lives and many of us know the bitter taste or rejection. Which is exactly why banning this player from our game is not necessarily the best solution. I aim for an inclusive and tolerant group, where prejudice and narrow minds are excluded.

All started well and the problem player, let's call him Bob, rolled up a Dwarven fighter called Thorbol. Now I foolishly let Bob run an evil PC, so Thorbol was a violent Dwarven psychopath. This would have been fine and Bob was really getting into the role, until the party hired a plump halfling torch-bearer as a cohort. One fine day, after setting up camp, Bob declares that Thorbol is going to go into the halfling's tent and 'sort the little punk out'. Thorbol pins the screaming halfling down on his bedroll and proceeds to work his 'beer-can thick fuckmeat all the way up the halfling human being's shitpipe'. Now this left the whole party stunned. We tried to laugh it off. But Bob was dead serious. What followed were five stomach churning minutes of graphic descriptions of all the terrible sodomy Thorbol visits on the halfling cohort. I mean, this stuff is properly whack.

Anyway, that started making us uncomfortable. But things only got worse. He began to assault the halfling on a nightly basis, until I ruled the halfling decided to hang himself in an inn rather than subject himself to further raep. Then, when the party met a gnomish illusionist NPC, Thorbol successfully surprised him and proceeded to 'open up his quivering mantwat with his master Dwarven rod of pain and pleasure'. With each session these incidents became more and more graphic. Bob also began to change. He got a glazed look in his eyes when he described his scenes of merciless anal piracy, sometimes retreating to my washroom for half an hour before returning to the gaming table. Occasionally, he would be visibly erect in his sweatpants.

I have done everything I could to crack down on this behavior. I have tried having Thorbol contract fantasy AIDS, but Thorbol keeps making his Constitution saves and he simply uses this as a pretext to 'charge up neg holes with his toxic poz seed'. He has now singlehandedly started an AIDS epidemic, sodomizing his way across halfling burrows.

Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with Bob?

I don't know who this fella is but I hope he never stops posting these.

Lemniscate Blue fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Feb 22, 2015

# ¿ Feb 22, 2015 19:22

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Something that occurs 5% of the time and an extra fighting style that you probably won't use much anyway: A metric fuckton of passive bonuses.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 19:16

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

The number of gamers who have been in the hobby for years or even decades that I have introduced to the idea that "class and concept are not synonymous" is loving bewildering.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 03:43

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

FMguru posted:

And the worst collection of grognards I ever saw was when I used to read the Traveller Mailing List.

The list of banned topics on the TML was hilariously long, and a good deal of it boiled down to the unlikely economics of the setting. Because some people just cannot deal with space opera not being realistic.

# ¿ May 18, 2015 05:59

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

LatwPIAT posted:

This might have something to do with the best-designed Call of Cthulhu-scenarios being designed such that you only roll against skills to determine whether you progress well or progress badly[1]. You always find the clues necessary to progress; the question is whether you find the clues that will make winning/surviving easy, or if you have to desperately stumble around in ignorance, trying to snatch ~~victory~~survival from the jaws of defeat. In such a situation, a secondary roll is in many ways superfluous and somewhat contrary to the intent of allowing a roll in the first place.

[1] And sometimes die horribly, because a core component of CoC-as-played is to emphasize that characters can die, to make sure that nobody ever feels safe, as a component of horror.

So... fail forward, then?

# ¿ May 20, 2015 16:54

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Antivehicular posted:

Are there any games that actually use this "save point/save state" idea, or did someone make this up just to grog about it?

The poster who asked about it originally was interested in using it and was asking people for their experiences with anything similar. Most people who answered did so productively, talking about Paranoia, Eclipse Phase, time travel, precognition, and other things in various games that might be related. The quotes that have been posted here are either one dude freaking out about it, or a reaction on another forum asking for validation that the guy freaking out isn't being a weirdo grog about it, which he totally is.

I assume they are from the same guy, because he just can't let it go. He posted elsewhere protesting his "bullshit" thread ban because he wouldn't stop being an rear end in a top hat about it. It's funny, really.

# ¿ May 26, 2015 05:21

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

ProfessorCirno posted:

I legitimately envy Ettin's place in the greater grognard religious mythology

You nearly took down ENWorld single-handedly, that's nothing to sneeze at.

# ¿ May 30, 2015 15:39

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Mormon Star Wars posted:

Contribution: Did you know that fighters are overpowered in that storygame D&D 4e?

quote:

If you build your Fighter competitively, min/maxing his defenses and ability scores, you don’t have the points to spare to round out his non-fighting abilities. He’ll lack the Charisma to form words, the Intelligence to actually have anything to say or the Wisdom to notice that anything is going on around him.

Aside from everything else I'm getting a kick out of this, where the standard array has one attribute at 8 and even your other "low" attributes are 10 or more - average or above.

Obviously there's no such thing as average, though, it's a straight binary. You're either Einstein von Wizardheim or it's "Pass me a longsword and tell me about the rabbits."

# ¿ Jun 2, 2015 22:34

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

You could weight a d20-based mechanic the same way, though, depending on where you set the threshold for success, failure, with-a-twist, etc. It's just that part and parcel of that d20 worship is an unexamined assumption that it's a binary pass-fail mechanic, and a lot of people are so wedded to that assumption that anything else seems alien.

Which makes the widespread love of catastrophic and embarrassing critical failures in the same crowd just a bit weird, but there you go.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2015 17:26

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Bieeardo posted:

That dorky old man reminds me of SA's very own happyelf, who ate at least two permas before the admins decided he wasn't worth the bandwidth.

Which is ironic as all hell, given what the chat threads have become.

We are all hpapylefs now.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 15:02

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Grog on Imgur?

I wonder if he wears a mask?

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 16:59

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Bieeardo posted:

I just learned that I can make people believe anything I say, by turning it into an image macro.

Welcome to Imgur/Reddit!

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 17:58

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Yeah, between the stupid way of handling a puzzle and the hooker thing, I have to wonder what the ~~girlfriend~~ did that was so terrible. In my head it was "calling the group on their poo poo".

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 19:05

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Leaving aside anything else there, -10 to 10 is a spread of 21.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 05:28

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

ProfessorCirno posted:

Surprise! It's all EN World!

TGD would probably be totally ok with a ranger healing themselvs using skill checks (so long as it was coded in the rules!); ENWorld is where doing literally anything requires magic.

Also from that thread:

quote:

The issue is not that the Ranger looks like Aragorn. The Ranger should look like Aragorn but not because Aragorn is "the ranger". It's just that Aragorn has all the abilities a D&D ranger would have. It's a fluke that matched perfectly.

This is contrary to everything I understand about the origin of the class.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2015 04:14

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

spectralent posted:

"Registered in 2010" is what gets me. Though only 53 posts. Maybe he literally registered in 2010 and came back just now?

Is the whole "you're secretly fascists" thing really that common in grogdom?

Eh, I regged at rpg.net in 2006 or so and I have less than 200 posts there. I just don't usually have that much to add to most conversations. Same on SA really, though I have started to post more here lately.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2015 19:07

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Reading the rest of that thread.

God drat, Ettin really is some sort of boogeyman for them, isn't he? I think he's mentioned at least as often as ShannonA, who is the subject of the thread.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2015 02:07

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

These people need to read them some loving Hemingway.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 02:38

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

FMguru posted:

I'm a little put off by the lack of support for 5E, given the way D&D has always had lots of supplements and modules and campaign guides. What do you say to that, grog?

I simply do not get the idea that just because I don't need a lot of supplemental material then it must be an unequivocal good thing that a product is poorly supported. I only started to see it from 5e enthusiasts in response to the criticism of its release schedule. "I always hated how much was released for 1e, 2e, 3e and 4e, it was terrible and 5e's lack of releases is exactly what I want!"

Run that by me again, please?

# ¿ Jul 27, 2015 02:21

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

gradenko_2000 posted:

With regards to the errata, there's a somewhat off-putting trend I'm observing that just because WOTC says it's only a clarification of what was allegedly already written into the game and not any sort of balance change, that people are willing to swallow that hook line and sinker. What would be the harm in admitting that the game isn't absolutely perfect at first pass and there's stuff that needs fixing?

Uncharitable answer: because 4e was pretty steadily erratad.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2015 07:39

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Halloween Jack posted:

That's actually much much better than what a lot of games do, where the skill list is insanely long and insanely specific because it's more "realistic" to divide Science and Art into five sub-skills. I hate that. It encourages a dynamic where players are supposed to be shamed into spending points on skills they may never use. Sometimes books even encourage this instead of fixing their loving skill system.

Oh, don't worry, GURPS does that too.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2015 18:08

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

ProfessorCirno posted:

At one point in 4e they were going to have a "ki" power source, but then they realized how racist it was to have "IS ASIAN" as a power source and changed the monk to be psionic - thus why it sorta doesn't fit in with the other psionic classes.

Allegedly the Runepriest and Seeker were originally designed for the Ki power source as well, which might explain why they are so orphaned in terms of support and why the Seeker in particular isn't really very good.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2015 00:57

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Plague of Hats posted:

I couldn't find anything more on the Dancey hilarity in a cursory Googling, but I did find this!

—posted TYOOL 2015, August 21

Okay, seriously, was there a widespread dislike of the amount of official material released for 3.X and 4e, and I just never managed to come across any of it?

Or is it something people are now claiming they always disliked in reaction to the criticism of 5e's rather sparse release schedule?

(Also, Monte Cook never had anything to do with Pathfinder, if anyone was wondering.)

# ¿ Sep 3, 2015 02:43

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Arivia posted:

goddamn it vampire man don't wear your corset backwards

The manliest corsets are the ones you can lace up yourself with no help from anybody.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2015 01:24

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

I gotta say the Time school described there sounds loving amazing.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2015 00:05

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 10:17

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Didn't hpapylef come back under another name, and last about a year before being perma'd again?

# ¿ Oct 16, 2015 16:14

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Grognards.txt NEXT: Goodnight, Sweet Wince