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every elvis impersonator should end their career as toilet elvis; the private elvis that died on a toilet. when an elvis impersonator dies, they should dress their corpse like late era elvis, place it upon a wheeled toilet and pull it onto a nightclub stage with a rope while viva las vegas plays loudly. people should clap, then when they are done they can pull toilet elvis offstage directly into a large furnace. the greasy smoke of their fat and hair will float up to heaven, where elvis waits.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:32
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 02:35 |
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ha ha yeah, i guess thats their PEROGATIVE
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Feb 5, 2015 20:33
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I guess.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:34
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I mean, I'm saying it should be a law.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:34
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are there still lots of elvis impersonators I feel like we're getting pretty far away from a generation in which he was relevant Even Vegas has almost nothing to do with Elvis at this point
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Feb 5, 2015 20:36
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dad gay. so what posted:ha ha yeah, i guess thats their PEROGATIVE 
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Feb 5, 2015 20:38
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FYI if you are gen y and didn't get the reference, elvis was a man who died on a toilet.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:38
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Graceland was tacky E: you couldn't look at the death toilet because it was upstairs
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Feb 5, 2015 20:38
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also bobby brown sang a song called "my perogative", for reference
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Feb 5, 2015 20:40
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 IM DYING ON THE TOILET
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Feb 5, 2015 20:40
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to connect the dots, elvis and bobby brown were both singers, hence the reference
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Feb 5, 2015 20:41
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Being Elvis isn't a choice, you don't just wake up one day and claim "I'm Elvis". I was born this way, and it took a lot of strength and courage to come out of the bathroom and embrace the Elvis lifestyle.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:41
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a little backstory, bobby browns daughter is dead, like elvis
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Feb 5, 2015 20:41
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elvis was also from tupelo, mississippi which is on the mississipi river which feeds into the gulf of mexico, which is near georgia, where bobby browns daughter was brutally murdered
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Feb 5, 2015 20:43
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it's not really funny nowadays, but way back when if you mentioned that a man died on a toilet to your friends they would laugh so hard and for so long that you would miss like half of st. elmos fire and need to rewind the tape.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:45
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back then we watched things on tape.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:45
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Wasn't there a photoshop friday with an Elvis bumper sticker that was something like "Gotta go to toilet. YEAH! UNGH! I'm dead." I couldn't find it.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:46
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I have the flu, so I can't remember, but you're probably right, friend.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:47
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elvis was known to eat a peanut butter & banana sandwich, it was one of his favorite foods. it was made from bread, peanut butter, and bananas. this was what lead to his obscene death in the bathtub of his one bedroom apartment.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:48
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elvis met bobby brown and whitney houston in 1975 at a liquor store in memphis, he bought them a bottle gin, and they partied til the crack of dawn, at sunrise he killed whitney houston and drank her blood
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Feb 5, 2015 20:51
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if you pray to elvis, nothing happens. no one knows why, but some people believe it may be due to the fact that he faked his toilet death and is still alive.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:54
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Feb 5, 2015 20:55
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dad gay. so what posted:elvis met bobby brown and whitney houston in 1975 at a liquor store in memphis, he bought them a bottle gin, and they partied til the crack of dawn, at sunrise he killed whitney houston and drank her blood I can believe it. Did you know Buddy Holly did it with Chuck Berry's wife backstage during a concert and Berry was yelling at him to finish because he was going to miss his cue? When people say that the present is perverted, maybe they should picture Buddy Holly making time inside Chuck Berry's wife while Chuck stands behind them tapping a watch.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:57
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BeefThief posted:
so is garrison keillor, judging by his radio program
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Feb 5, 2015 20:59
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death by floaters
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Feb 5, 2015 21:00
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chuck got cucked
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Feb 5, 2015 21:26
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just imagine.. a poo poo that's so great you die
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Feb 5, 2015 21:41
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Thanks! My day was seriously lacking without that. I wanna stick those in those gaudy 50s themed diners we have everywhere around here. Next to the blank velvet paintings of Elvis and Marylin Monroe and James Dean high fiving with Jesus or whatever it is they are doing.
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Feb 5, 2015 21:47
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I remember changing the radio station on a field trip (that I barely remember) to Elvis. It was a Broadway trip. Anyway the black kid rooming with me freaked out because apparently Elvis was racist or something. I literally had changed it to Elvis for like two seconds. It was instantaneous Elvis hate. Black kid got triggered by Elvis.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:04
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You got some good ideas Frankie
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Feb 5, 2015 22:10
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I have the flu and I'm trying to make the world a better place.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:18
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mysterious frankie posted:I have the flu and I'm trying to make the world a better place. You're doing gods work I too also feel that there should be a dead toilet Elvis impersonator law
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Feb 5, 2015 22:19
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There's that guy who gets his soul sucked out through his butthole by an Egyptian mummy that Elvis kills.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:20
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every time i go to my gastroenterologist he asks how's your poop and i say well it ain't gret but it's not elvis-bad, he puts that down in my chart, he pretty much rules
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Feb 5, 2015 22:21
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im farting alot today, i had beef stroganoff for lunch f.y.i.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:22
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dad gay. so what posted:im farting alot today, i had beef stroganoff for lunch f.y.i. I had Dayquil I'm pooping out nutty diarrhea.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:23
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this thread reminded me of the time my uncle burst in on me while I was making love to a lady in the missionary position, and started screaming the lyrics to love me tender directly into my butthole. wow, thanks gbs. dunno how I'm going to explain all the coital weeping that is sure to follow this breakthrough to my wife.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:28
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The butthole is an aural cavern that when buffeted by sonar waves of sound reduces the sex desire. He did it for a good reason.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:29
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if you take tours of elvis's house, they don't let you see the dump that killed him he's also buried in the backyard by the pool. maybe the poop is buried with him.........
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Feb 5, 2015 22:31
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 02:35 |
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opened my mouth at the moment of climax &, instead of my normal Home Improvementesque "AUGH???" gently caress sound, the clear and strong voice of my uncle howling "AND I ALWAYS WIIIIIIIIIIIIILL" came echoing out.
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Feb 5, 2015 22:34
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