Meet John Rodgers: Journalist, Ponzi Scheme Operator and so much more

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Meet John Rodgers: Journalist, Ponzi Scheme Operator and so much more

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Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

DISCLAIMER: This is a rabbithole down into the depths of a man that can only be described as the most evil being you will ever still feel pity for. Please do not contact him, if we are ever to contact him we can do it in a civil manner and I'm sure he will be over the moon. The entire time I looked into this it felt like something straight from GBS so even though I don't typically post I felt obligated to do so.

Everyone, meet John Rodgers.

This man publishes a local quarterly paper in Louisville, Kentucky called Hike's Point News. At first glance, it's merely a bad publication. Check the site out here:

https://www.hikespointnews.com

If you dig deeper, though, it gets much, much worse.

He is a former priest who is now a salesman, and he sells a product of his own design. It is a diet supplement he calls Ascension (literally a snake oil salesman):

He sells this, but he also allows people to join his "Hike's Point Women and Mens Program", which is a pyramid scheme where you have a referral number and try to sell as much of the stuff as possible. Please note some of the ingredients are Shark Cartilage and "Devil's Root".

Also on his website, he sells the "Cover Model" spot. It costs only "$2,500.00 to put your image on the cover of Hike's Point News (unless we waive this fee)".

He publishes all of this himself. There is no "we", and I sadly suspect that he waives the fee in exchange for certain...privileges.

Here is an interview featured in the publication - you almost can't believe it isn't satire:

I will leave you now with an entire 140 page issue of the magazine.

http://hikespointnews.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/859575.pdf

There are a lot of local ads, another way this guy schemes money off people, but it includes his own fiction about an America in 2017 that is overrun with gays and has literally become Hell (among countless other great articles, the newest issue features "Has Anyone Ever Shot At You With a Gun?"). I can't seem to find the latest issue, where he removes the table of contents "to provide more content, you'll find the stories anyway" and runs a dating ad for himself on the cover page. I will scan it if there is interest.

Oiled and Ready fucked around with this message at 11:59 on Feb 7, 2015

# ? Feb 7, 2015 11:55

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:32

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

A scholar who owns his own successful small business and he's single? Im very interested. Whats his thoughts on MsM and muscle worship

# ? Feb 7, 2015 12:01

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

in a shocking turn of events a priest becomes a sort of scam artist :smuggo:

# ? Feb 7, 2015 12:21

Howard Beale: Feb 22, 2001; It's like this, Peanut

I sure do know a lot more about David Owner of Fern Creek Transmission than I did before

# ? Feb 7, 2015 12:26

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

I'd like 3 minutes with that "model"

So I can show her how to take a better pose

*Photo by John Rogers

# ? Feb 7, 2015 12:35

Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

Howard Beale posted:

I sure do know a lot more about David Owner of Fern Creek Transmission than I did before

Why doesn't he dream in color? I suspect David may be a liar. I need a follow up.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:13

givepatajob: Apr 8, 2003; One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.

I'm glad he's moved on since the Jump to Conclusions mat.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:17

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

He looks like he should be some corrupt mayor for a podunk Southern town.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:18

Two Piece: Jul 30, 2011; ~*wonk*~

That interview is so hard hitting, really going for the tough questions. I bet David was loving choking on that pie.

No idea why the gently caress he brought a wrench to a dinner though.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:24

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

id like 45 seconds with that model

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:29

Joust: Dec 7, 2007; No Ledges.

Apply the pie.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:30

Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

DISCLAIMER: It is dangerous to consume too much John Rodgers in one sitting. Please take a 10 minute break every 60 minutes for your own health.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:34

Psygnosis: Jul 30, 2003

Oiled and Ready posted:

DISCLAIMER: It is dangerous to consume too much John Rodgers in one sitting. Please take a 10 minute break every 60 minutes for your own health.

Is this suppose to be his version of "Obama's America"?

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:39

The Taint Reaper: Sep 4, 2012; by Shine

For a moment I thought he was the My Pillow guy.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 13:41

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

# ? Feb 7, 2015 14:16

Kilmers Elbow: Jun 15, 2012

# ? Feb 7, 2015 14:35

Shasta Orange Soda: Apr 25, 2007

vote my family for best family of prostitutes 2018

# ? Feb 7, 2015 14:37

Drunkboxer: Jun 30, 2007

Oiled and Ready posted:

I think this is just another ad, the interview format is an attempt at humor.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 14:43

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

Kilmers Elbow posted:

he has such sights to show you :cenobite:

# ? Feb 7, 2015 14:45

Kilmers Elbow: Jun 15, 2012

# ? Feb 7, 2015 15:22

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

He's no Alex Jones that's for sure

# ? Feb 7, 2015 15:56

Mr. Pumroy: May 20, 2001

the base of the washington monument doesn't really have steps. unless they signed it inside the monument, but that seems weird.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 16:02

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

theoretically if this guy is getting sex once a month from those cover "models" after several years that could add up to an unfathomable number of sexes

# ? Feb 7, 2015 16:14

Kimmalah: Nov 14, 2005; Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

Psygnosis posted:

Is this suppose to be his version of "Obama's America"?

It's another John Titor story, just without the time travel stuff that made it sort of interesting.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 16:54

Clipperton: Dec 20, 2011; Grimey Drawer

hang on, who was it who conquered america exactly

# ? Feb 7, 2015 17:15

Kimmalah: Nov 14, 2005; Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

Clipperton posted:

hang on, who was it who conquered america exactly

I think it's a "Choose your own boogeyman" story - federal government, Russia, China, etc. etc.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 17:43

dougdrums: Feb 25, 2005; CLIENT REQUESTED ELECTRONIC FUNDING RECEIPT (FUNDS NOW)

the gays

# ? Feb 7, 2015 17:48

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

Oiled and Ready posted:

DISCLAIMER: It is dangerous to consume too much John Rodgers in one sitting. Please take a 10 minute break every 60 minutes for your own health.

Goatstein posted:

King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches.

As his trusted associates T-Von and Mook-Mook the Bushman pushed open the grand organic farm-grown cruelty-free redwood doors paid for by his 95% tax rate, he stepped into the antechamber of the gold-domed palace. Outside, ShariaVentalism reigned, but in here his word was law, and all his white teen sex slaves cowered before his glare more than even the hemp whips of their latte-drinking tweeded atheist masters.

He walked down the hallway toward his office and a prisoner in chains passed before him, lead by two turban-wearing Mexicans. He spotted the King and began shouting curses.

"You loving fascist! I knew it! I knew it! I told them, but they wouldn't listen, that your health care platform was a slippery slope to all this! You won't get away with this! The will of the Free Market will not be denied!"
"Seelenceo een the prezence of the Keeng, preesoner!"

King Obama spotted a chance to improve his ill mood.

"Bring him here. Good. Give me his file." The king looked over the prisoner's dossier. A long list of crimes against the state, and a repeat offender.
"You'll never get away with this! Never!"
"Hush now, Mr. Jack. We have ways of dealing with unruly sorts such as yourself."
"Praise be to Allah, seenyor."
"Peh! I spit at your torture! The Free Market gives me strength!"
"Oh, no, not anything as gauche as that."

The King grabbed a syringe from the outstretched hand of one of his nearby breakdancing bodyguards, and plunged it into the man's helpless neck.

"Now you are immune to rubella."

Kyle's lingering, echoing screams of tormented horror brought a slight smile like a crack in Obama's stony brown face as he walked into his lavish velvet-lined office and shut the door behind him. He motioned for his bodyguards to leave the room, and he addressed the giant screens hanging over his desk.

"Screen one on. Connect to Emperor bin Laden of Eurabia. Screen two: Hugo Chavez of the U.S.S.A.R.. Screen three: The High Elder of Zion."

The three figures appeared live via satelite.

"Gentlemen," began Obama darkly, "it's time to have...a conversation."

# ? Feb 7, 2015 20:30

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Give Pat a Job posted:

I'm glad he's moved on since the Jump to Conclusions mat.

# ? Feb 7, 2015 20:33

Clipperton: Dec 20, 2011; Grimey Drawer

dougdrums posted:

the gays

# ? Feb 7, 2015 20:34

Math Debater: May 6, 2007; by zen death robot

reading that "america 2017" story was honestly a pretty sexually arousing experience for me

# ? Feb 7, 2015 20:48

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Math Debater posted:

reading that "america 2017" story was honestly a pretty sexually arousing experience for me

ahh hey!! youre that guy!! ffrom that video!!!

# ? Feb 7, 2015 20:59

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Gonna go ahead and get on page 1 for when this thread goes places

# ? Feb 7, 2015 21:04

Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

Math Debater posted:

reading that "america 2017" story was honestly a pretty sexually arousing experience for me

Amrerica*

I think John got a little aroused while writing it too. He seems to get a little sidetracked trying to figure out who's family would make the best prostitutes. Fun fact: he is divorced with two young daughters.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 00:41