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The ability to say out loud when somebody is "too black" and not always catch poo poo for it from people of mixed race who heard. Being of similar proportions to Manute Bol but white and moderately successful in Hollywood. E: Internetjack posted:The power to summon a single ping pong ball from anywhere in the world to the palm of your hand, once per day. dog buttz posted:You can summon a vagina onto the palm of your hand. It's like a portal so your dick doesn't come out the other side of your hand. Sponge Baathist fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Feb 8, 2015 |
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Feb 8, 2015 08:50
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a superpower where you can eat all the salt you want
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Feb 8, 2015 09:14
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The ability to transform an empty DVD into a Don Bluth movie. If you have a case to go with it, the cover won't change to go with the movie.
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Feb 8, 2015 09:17
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the ability to down a bottle of vodka and not feel drunk
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Feb 8, 2015 09:19
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Glasgow Kiss posted:the ability to down a bottle of vodka and not feel drunk that's not mediocre
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Feb 8, 2015 09:35
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dog buttz posted:The ability to sober up instantly neither is this
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Feb 8, 2015 09:37
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enraged_camel posted:neither is this You get drunk with Putin, he tells you everything. Then you immediately sober up, hold a press conference. Putin is DESTROYED!
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Feb 8, 2015 09:42
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The ability to get drunk off Listerine without going blind
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Feb 8, 2015 09:49
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the ability to imagine anyone you see as a beautiful woman, no matter how ugly/actually a man they are.
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Feb 8, 2015 16:37
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Ability to instantly eliminate any awkward boners you get.
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Feb 8, 2015 16:55
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CharlestonJew posted:the ability to imagine anyone you see as a beautiful woman, no matter how ugly/actually a man they are.
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Feb 8, 2015 18:42
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if you look like the OP it wouldnt
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Feb 8, 2015 19:13
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:I specifically said things that wouldn't help you get laid. no its ok they would just be too scared and intimidated to talk to them anyway
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Feb 8, 2015 19:15
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The power to make any partner of yours feel the missionary position isn't "boring", "stale", or "conservative". The side effect is they realize what they're really talking about is you.
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Feb 8, 2015 19:17
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I want the power to have a timetable and map of public transportation in my head at all times, that changes with each region I go to.
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Feb 8, 2015 19:37
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you have telekinesis but the only things you can move are dead leaves
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Feb 8, 2015 19:39
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your poop smells like cinnamon buns
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Feb 8, 2015 19:40
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"Exact Change Man" - always has exact change for any purchase he makes
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Feb 8, 2015 19:43
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Business Gorillas posted:you have telekinesis but the only things you can move are dead leaves Come October I'm gonna make some cash on the side, maybe buy a PS4 or somethin'.
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Feb 8, 2015 19:43
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always know exactly how long you will have to wait for things, such as how long it will take before the doctor actually sees you, how long it will take before the line of cars in front of you lets you get off/on the highway, etc. note this only applies if you have no other events you're currently anticipating or could be anticipating in the future (i.e. you cannot know how long you need to wait for death because tomorrow your car is going to break down and you'll be anticipating the arrival of a taxi to come take you to work) Ignatius M. Meen fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Feb 8, 2015 |
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Feb 8, 2015 19:58
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u can turn ur pancreas on and off at will
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Feb 8, 2015 20:03
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CharlestonJew posted:the ability to imagine anyone you see as a beautiful woman, no matter how ugly/actually a man they are. I'm pretty sure there's a jack black movie about that. It has George from Seinfeld in it too
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Feb 8, 2015 20:10
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SurfinArbiter posted:I'm pretty sure there's a jack black movie about that. It has George from Seinfeld in it too no that power just reversed the ugly/beauty appearance scale for jack black
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Feb 8, 2015 20:11
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Instantly knowing the optimal time to microwave something. This would be worth a fortune. Seriously.
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Feb 8, 2015 20:40
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Never saying "You too!" after being told to enjoy your movie/meal.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:00
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Your finger can get really hot. So you could like, maybe heat up some beans in a pot without using the gas. It's alright, like. Re-heat cooling coffee or whatever. Maybe jab a villain with it. It's not hot enough to melt metal or anything though.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:07
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you have eidetic memory, but only towards rerun episodes of Perfect Strangers.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:15
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enraged_camel posted:neither is this but you'll have a horrible hangover for a full day
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Feb 8, 2015 22:22
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Feb 8, 2015 22:25
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Didn't the dude from OZ murder the poo poo out of a dude with his nails though? Couldn't pin it on him, because seriously... Who kills a dude by scratching him to death.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:29
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yea that was a good episode
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Feb 8, 2015 22:30
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Abilityt o turn invisible once at a depth >4000 meters under water ability to breathe under lava dig a hole 2x as a fast as a normal person
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Feb 8, 2015 22:38
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The ability to hold your breath indefinitely and remain totally functional however the oxygen deprivation still affects your brain
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Feb 8, 2015 22:44
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Go back in time one minute but it takes you 59 seconds of screaming to do it and you don't remember anything that happened during that time when you go back.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:47
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Mornacale posted:The ability to talk to squirrels. Hey!!
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Feb 8, 2015 22:49
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the ability to get an erection when you're horny
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Feb 8, 2015 22:49
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dog buttz posted:The ability to sober up instantly this is too good without some sort of drawback how about the ability to sober up in one second, but the entire agony/nausea of the hangover you would have had is crammed into that second
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Feb 8, 2015 22:51
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the ability to cook a small potato, peel it by hand, stuff it in your rear end in a top hat, and mash it using your thumb as a potato masher.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:51
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Nefarious posted:the ability to get an erection when you're horny I'm bob dole and this isn't funny
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Feb 8, 2015 22:52
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a hole-y ghost posted:the ability to cook a small potato, peel it by hand, stuff it in your rear end in a top hat, and mash it using your thumb as a potato masher. subscribe to my youtube channel
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Feb 8, 2015 22:53
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