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the ability to effortlessly pee through morning wood
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Feb 8, 2015 22:53
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the ability to know whether or not a man has testicles by feeling and prodding thru the scrotum, squeezing. maybe plucking a hair or two
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Feb 8, 2015 22:54
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You can grow a lovely patchy neckbeard instantly, but its not very long, maybe only 7 inches.
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Feb 9, 2015 00:22
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The ability to change your hair color from brown to a slightly darker brown
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Feb 9, 2015 00:25
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The ability to turn wine into water.
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Feb 9, 2015 00:26
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Get your audio/video/graphics settings perfect on the first try, every time.
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Feb 9, 2015 00:33
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You have the ability to recall all inane and insignificant details from your life with perfect accuracy. You lack the ability to make anyone else care about them.
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Feb 9, 2015 00:44
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the ability to make quality LPs
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Feb 9, 2015 00:45
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The ability to shoot turds out of your butt with the power and accuracy of an airsoft pistol.
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Feb 9, 2015 00:55
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mastervj posted:This would be worth a fortune.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:01
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Internet Kraken posted:You have the ability to recall all inane and insignificant details from your life with perfect accuracy. You lack the ability to make anyone else care about them. this one sucks irl 
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Feb 9, 2015 01:17
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The ability to turn into three cows. Drawback: you have their intelligence too. The ability to be a non-symptomatic carrier for any disease you contract, STDs included.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:28
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MechaFrogzilla posted:The ability to be a non-symptomatic carrier for...STDs this, however, owns
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Feb 9, 2015 01:30
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Explain. At the very least you would have full-time employment as the person who puts the microwave instructions on the box. At the best you would be a new age nostradamus and people would shower you with gold.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:31
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The ability to get rid of any trash without polluting the environment, but you have to eat it to do so
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Feb 9, 2015 01:31
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every computer you use automatically has your login and password details remembered for all your accounts but when you get up and someone else tries, they are gone!
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Feb 9, 2015 01:31
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Moola posted:every computer you use automatically has your login and password details remembered for all your accounts Making people disappear is a pretty cool power imo
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Feb 9, 2015 01:32
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being white
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Feb 9, 2015 01:35
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The ability to always roll 7 on 2 dice, except when gambling.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:36
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SurfinArbiter posted:Making people disappear is a pretty cool power imo NO drat IT YOU KNOW THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT poo poo
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Feb 9, 2015 01:36
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gannyGrabber posted:The ability to always roll 7 on 2 dice, except when gambling. That can be lovely if you're playing D&D or magic the gathering :< but I guess you don't really use 2 dice for that that much
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Feb 9, 2015 01:39
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SurfinArbiter posted:The ability to get rid of any trash without polluting the environment, but you have to eat it to do so The ability to eat, digest and gain sustenance from trash no change in taste
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Feb 9, 2015 01:40
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The ability to use any tag when you post on SA with no consequences. Just use "ban me" every time
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Feb 9, 2015 01:40
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Anal taste buds.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:41
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Say Nothing posted:Anal taste buds. You'd be tasting poo poo almost all the time
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Feb 9, 2015 01:42
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Invincible while asleep. World's fastest sitter Pubic hair that is 8 times stronger than normal. The ability to smell dogshit anywhere in the world. Sperm that you can command to be infertile. Super hearing. But it only hears soap operas.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:42
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perfect rapport with any/all minorities
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Feb 9, 2015 01:42
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Bacontotem posted:
You'd win all the musical chairs
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Feb 9, 2015 01:45
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Xray vision that can only see cat assholes. The ability to digest diamonds and gold. 1 dollar man. Always have a spare dollar in your pocket. But no other greater amounts of money. Rat poo poo man. Knows where all rat poo poo in the world is. Doesn't work on mice or help find the rats. Canned goods man. Has the ability to know if food served was canned or not. Only works if he doesn't go. Bacontotem fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Feb 9, 2015 |
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Feb 9, 2015 01:45
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The ability to shoot lasers out of your eyes, but it only works when you're fully erect.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:55
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Any time you legitimately want a sports team to win, they lose. If you think this can be used for gambling, profit or even sabotage read the first sentence again.
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Feb 9, 2015 02:11
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hard counter posted:Any time you legitimately want a sports team to win, they lose. If you think this can be used for gambling, profit or even sabotage read the first sentence again. Get a friend to bet on the other team and then split the money 50/50 E: also you bet on the opposite team. Boom. Gana get money one way or another.
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Feb 9, 2015 02:15
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Perfect knowledge of all cheese, but it all tastes the same to you. The ability to fart on command in a movie theater. Knowledge of what the shittiest item in a store is. Bacontotem fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Feb 9, 2015 |
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Feb 9, 2015 02:18
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You have the ability to communicate with all canines, including wolves. However, you acquired these powers through dishonest means, so all canines openly disrespect you, especially wolves.
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Feb 9, 2015 02:25
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super strength, but only in the gym/working out
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Feb 9, 2015 02:27
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FooF posted:The power to manipulate/kill anyone with a last name that ends with "s." manipulate? can i get all of bill gates' money?
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Feb 9, 2015 02:28
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Cake Smashing Boob posted:super strength, but only in the gym/working out You'd get mad GAINS
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Feb 9, 2015 02:28
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World's stinkiest shits
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Feb 9, 2015 02:31
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FooF posted:The power to be utterly irresistible to women between 5 & 6 on the "hot" scale. FooF posted:The power predict with 100% accuracy the final score of any WNBA game. FooF posted:The power to manipulate/kill anyone with a last name that ends with "s." FooF posted:The power to read the minds of those with an IQ lower than yours (read: no one). FooF posted:The power to dodge bullets from any gun manufactured before 1965. FooF posted:The power to convincingly dismantle any argument about fast-food restaurants. FooF posted:The power to double-post without feeling like an idiot.
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Feb 9, 2015 02:34
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Mr.Pibbleton posted:The ability to say the n-word and have it be socially acceptable. This just in: being black is now considered a superpower. Too bad it doesn't go together with being impervious to bullets.
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Feb 9, 2015 02:37
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