|
Helmholz posted:Tell me your darkest pub sins. I don't want to hear any lame wordplay joke answers about courtrooms, either. Post your foulest tavern-related misdeeds ITT. One time I blacked out in college and kept spilling strangers drinks. Eventually enough people wanted to fight me that I was kicked out. I tried to run home and tripped and scrapped up my face, knees, and elbows pretty good. A stranger brought a bloody me home at around 3 am asking my roommates if I belonged to them. Good times
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:11
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 22:11 |
|
|
Didn't tip in some dive yank bar
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:12
|
|
|
snorted crushed up urinal mints
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:15
|
|
|
Sometimes you just wake up with blood on your clothes and a deep dark feeling that you're a psychopath
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:15
|
|
|
ScratchAndSniff posted:I ordered an appletini. And then he roughly railed your rear end ironically
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:25
|
|
|
you guys know
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:29
|
|
|
echronorian posted:Sometimes you just wake up with blood on your clothes and a deep dark feeling that you're a psychopath Same but it's always piss
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:47
|
|
|
Cucking Mama posted:these are going to be really tame except for the made up ones op
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:48
|
|
|
The worst thing you can do in a pub is order a load of different pints and then finish on a Guinness, seriously you fuckers know who you are and I hate you.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:52
|
|
|
i stole someones drink once
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 13:54
|
|
|
i speeled my dreeenk, OP
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 14:11
|
|
|
I guess this is sort of an ongoing thing. Whenever I go to the bathroom in one specific bar in town, I always end up carving a dick into the wall above the urinals. There's quite a few dicks up there now.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 15:06
|
|
|
one time i got blackout wasted at some shithole all-you-can-drink college bar and had to take one of those nasty runny liquor shits except the stall door in the bathroom was broken and would swing open if I didn't hold it shut, since I was way too drunk for that kind of coordination I just ended up taking a big gross poo poo with the door wide open and my friends staring/wondering what to do with me. then i threw up in the parking lot and sold a guy the rest of my weed
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 15:14
|
|
|
StoneOfShame posted:The worst thing you can do in a pub is order a load of different pints and then finish on a Guinness, seriously you fuckers know who you are and I hate you. this guy posts "10 ways to annoy your bartender" listicles on facebook
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 15:42
|
|
|
Bitchslapped my boss in the face for spilling beer on my pretzels. In the morning called up to apologise. Got told "well actually, it's not me you should be apologising to, it's <Indian friend>. You were saying some pretty racist poo poo to him last night and he's pretty loving upset". 2 hours later finally get in touch, launch into huge apology. "Mate, I wasn't even at the pub last night" Thanks boss!
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 15:45
|
|
|
I usually dont drink but after I broke up with a girl and came back in town I figured, why not? Went to a bar that people know me and really know I dont drink. Before hand we drunk a buncha whiskey and did adderall and walked to the bar. I was fine cause of the adderall but, I guess it wore off and blacked out randomly without drinking anymore. Anyways, apparently I ordered the drink and gave the bartender all I had, which was like 2.50 after the cover. I didnt bring anything more than ten bucks cause I knew I would be wasted. He said "Well I guess if you need it... " I replied, "I dont need it but i want it! Ha!" and took it and left the crumpled money on the bar. Then I preceeded to chug it and throw it at the band when they were playing. Then I went to the bathroom and super glued a diorama of cowboys and dinosaurs on the back of all the toilets. I was a total rear end apparently but I got the carte blanche cause people knew me and I am generally the one taking care of idiots.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 16:32
|
|
|
sidviscous posted:Bitchslapped my boss in the face for spilling beer on my pretzels. you got owned by your boss
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 16:34
|
|
|
this would be a very long serious post OP
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 16:35
|
|
|
After the first hole I pull out my steel spikes. Deal with it. 
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 17:28
|
|
|
Knocked over a small wall which fell onto the edge of a table which ripped the tabletop off the support pedestal catapulting two drinks and an ashtray lightly coating several patrons in a fine mixture of booze and ash.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 17:47
|
|
|
SpaceAceJase posted:Fingered a girl on the dance floor. Fingered my future wife while we sat at the bar, yeah I was pretty wasted at the time
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 17:51
|
|
|
jazzyhattrick posted:I once took perkins' wig and had one of the clerks hide it. It was damned funny watching him run around middle temple asking chaps if they'd seen it. On balance though it wasn't conduct befitting a Q.C. Fffffffffffffffffffff
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 18:19
|
|
|
1gnoirents posted:this would be a very long serious post OP Go on..
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 18:28
|
|
|
was super wasted and fingered this guy next to me thinking it was a girl turns out it was a girl i was aiming for but i had fingered her boyfriend instead. He's my best friend today
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 18:32
|
|
|
Robo Reagan posted:you got owned by your boss You can't even get mad if that happened to you cause it's such a good ownage. Plus he owed you one
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 18:49
|
|
|
Coke. Lots and lots of coke. Also one time I told a guy that would leave me alone that I would never, ever, ever date or have sex with him and no one like me ever would. He tried to kill himself that night.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 18:54
|
|
|
threw a menu placard through a tv
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 18:55
|
|
|
Ordered a beer.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:00
|
|
|
Zzulu posted:was super wasted and fingered this guy next to me thinking it was a girl Got super wasted at a bar and fingered myself. I was not the girl I was looking for
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:01
|
|
|
so im at the bar drinking alcohol when hundreds of cops start coming in... theyre just fuckin around doing cop poo poo. u know the deal. well im pretty tipsy by that point and i end up literally blasting each cops body to pieces with a series of precise open palm tiger style strikes. they kicked me out but i destroyed nearly a thousand cops that night
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:08
|
|
|
spilled a full drink went to the bar to ask for a towel and instead they gave me a free full drink that I spilled too because I was hosed up
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:15
|
|
|
actually there was another time where I was at a bar on Saturday night which was apparently lovely hiphop night so i danced with some black girls and a dude got shot in the parking lot when the place closed. i had to stay there like 2 hours before the cops would let me leave
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:16
|
|
|
On one St. Patty's day I stole about 10 pint glasses by stashing them in my winter coat. I did this because there was a sign saying they were going to have "prizes" at the bar and at no time did I ever see or hear anything about prizes. After I walked home, I saw my friend and a Russian bartender at the same bar had kicked him in the nuts. So we walked back to the bar and smashed all the glasses in the parking lot. At that point it was about 3:30 so I stopped at the gas station and picked up a bunch of pickled polish sausages to eat. I don't think I fingered anyone that night, but I did do a shot out of a dirty ashtray on a bet...which won me another shot.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:19
|
|
|
lines of cocaine off a big mirror me and my friend found behind the radiator in the bathroom (i'm talking like two feet by four feet surface area, like a hilariously large mirror just plopped down behind the radiator)
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:22
|
|
|
i bought a bottle of french wine off some army dude in the parking lot of a bar once.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:31
|
|
|
echronorian posted:Oh wait did you mean the best things we've ever done at a bar? Don't need to lie about being at the closing of the matador. It's ok that you were not actually there.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:33
|
|
|
Didn't tip the polite $4 per drink, order just a beer during the peak hours of the busiest bar crawl instead of the old fashioned (which I had just read about on a buzzfeed article when the bartender asked me what I wanted) thus insulting the bartender's trade. Once I noticed that my drink wasn' that strong (I could tell as I had been drinking heavily all night) and instead of pestering the bartender for free liquor I just slinked away and called a cab.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:37
|
|
|
Edit: nah
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:41
|
|
|
It was my birthday at some lovely college bar, and everytime I turned around someone handed me a shot. Vague memory of some blonde wishing me a happy birthday; I somehow managed to mention the tradition of birthday blowjobs. "I ought to punch you!" My buddy managed to get me out of there and I puked out the car window the whole way home. Made to the back yard to barf everywhere and roll in it.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 22:11 |
|
|
One time I ordered a sazerac and the bartender gave me Sazerac rye neat instead of making me the cocktail so I poured it on the bar and called him a filthy pleb before throwing a couple of bills in his face and leaving.
|
|
#
?
Feb 9, 2015 19:55
|
|