The buttered popcorn flavor Jelly Bean should be destroyed

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The buttered popcorn flavor Jelly Bean should be destroyed

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CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

detectivemonkey posted:

Holy poo poo tutti frutti is my favorite and if someone gave me a tutti frutti that actually tasted like socks I would spend the near year learning Krav Maga just so I could come back and loving destroy them. That's bullshit.

It's really one of the most evil things I can think to do to someone that isn't breaking any laws. They're all non-toxic, but from various accounts on YouTube each one tastes frighteningly accurate. They stop short of actually making one that's poo poo flavor, but the vomit one actually tastes of bile, and the moldy cheese actually tastes of rot. This I hard from someone on YouTube who has actually tasted decades old canned food that has gone bad.

The buttered popcorn has Rotten Egg as its twin, but nobody picks the popcorn anyway. If you're faced with one of these packs someday, pick the light blue ones, since the Toothpaste flavor is basically just mint. Hopefully they don't read the box and realize you took the easiest one.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 05:31

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 18:59

Howard Beale: Feb 22, 2001; It's like this, Peanut

Pick posted:

The Jalapeno jelly belly has actually been discontinued.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 05:42

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

the jelly belly factory is in Fairfield, California, about halfway between San Francisco and Sacramento on Interstate 80. if u love jelly bellies and live in nor cal but haven't been to the factory you need to step up your candy game for serious

# ? Feb 12, 2015 06:24

Corn Glizzy: Jun 28, 2007

Male Tears posted:

Juicy pear is the best

# ? Feb 12, 2015 06:28

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

i have not had a jelly bean in years but now i want them more than anything.gently caress you gbs.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 06:31

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

that's not a jelly bean, pick. that's a jelly BELLY.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 06:43

madeupfred: Oct 10, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

CrashCat posted:

It's really one of the most evil things I can think to do to someone that isn't breaking any laws. They're all non-toxic, but from various accounts on YouTube each one tastes frighteningly accurate. They stop short of actually making one that's poo poo flavor, but the vomit one actually tastes of bile, and the moldy cheese actually tastes of rot. This I hard from someone on YouTube who has actually tasted decades old canned food that has gone bad.

The buttered popcorn has Rotten Egg as its twin, but nobody picks the popcorn anyway. If you're faced with one of these packs someday, pick the light blue ones, since the Toothpaste flavor is basically just mint. Hopefully they don't read the box and realize you took the easiest one.

The vomit tastes like actual, real life vomit. It's so potent I threw up. They're really loving bad!

# ? Feb 12, 2015 07:33

LEGO Genetics: Oct 8, 2013; She growls as she storms the stadium
A villain mean and rough
And the cops all shake and quiver and quake
as she stabs them with her cuffs

make op take the BeanBoozled challenge for his blasphemy

# ? Feb 12, 2015 07:43

ohnobugs: Feb 22, 2003

Male Tears posted:

Juicy pear is the best

Like biting into a car air freshener. Buttered popcorn's bad but these are the worst.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 07:54

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

OMGVBFLOL posted:

the jelly belly factory is in Fairfield, California, about halfway between San Francisco and Sacramento on Interstate 80. if u love jelly bellies and live in nor cal but haven't been to the factory you need to step up your candy game for serious

There's one in Wisconsin too and you can take tours and taste every kind of jelly belly they have, as many as you want it's fun.

the chili mango is surprisingly good.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 09:11

Slightly Absurd: Mar 22, 2004

I went to the Fairfield one a few times as a kid, and I remember my family buying bigass bags of deformed jelly bellies on the cheap. Crazy weird mutant jelly beans.

Edit: Ah, they're "belly flops."

# ? Feb 12, 2015 09:19

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

it's the mooooost wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeaaaar

# ? Feb 12, 2015 09:29

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

CrashCat posted:

It's really one of the most evil things I can think to do to someone that isn't breaking any laws. They're all non-toxic, but from various accounts on YouTube each one tastes frighteningly accurate. They stop short of actually making one that's poo poo flavor, but the vomit one actually tastes of bile, and the moldy cheese actually tastes of rot. This I hard from someone on YouTube who has actually tasted decades old canned food that has gone bad.

The buttered popcorn has Rotten Egg as its twin, but nobody picks the popcorn anyway. If you're faced with one of these packs someday, pick the light blue ones, since the Toothpaste flavor is basically just mint. Hopefully they don't read the box and realize you took the easiest one.

dont sign your posts

# ? Feb 12, 2015 09:32

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

a hole-y ghost posted:

dont sign your posts

am i the easiest one

dammit.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 09:40

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

it's the mooooost wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeaaaar

It's the most hosed up looking candy I've seen but I really liked the Starburst candy corn too. It's a hell of a feat to make candy corn tasty.

Of course nobody believes it's possible so they're usually still in huge piles after Halloween. Kroger ended up selling 12 ounce bags or whatever for a quarter each or something and people still wouldn't buy them because the concept is just that ugly.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 09:44