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meanwhile i'm becomoing a savvy connoisseur of sex tourism hotspots
Somebody fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Mar 20, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 16:52
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i'm a gay narcissist, i want to gently caress myself. my mirror is covered in dick smudges This thread will be my diary Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 16:54
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move back to the West before you get your fingers cut off by thai mobsters, you dolt |
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Feb 12, 2015 17:03
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Let's not kid ourselves, you do not have your poo poo together. Get out of Thailand dude. Thai bargirls are going to whittle you down to nothing and they will laugh (so will I) and then you'll be deported anyway if you are lucky. |
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Feb 12, 2015 17:33
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Day 1:.no matter how fast i turn around I can't get my (non mirror) dick to line up with my (mirror) rear end. May be impossible (note to self: see if vietnamese library has Einstein book)
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:04 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 17:41
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Dude...if this woman really is racking up a shitload of debt with Thai loan sharks who are going to be coming looking for you to pay it back...well, my advice would be to just go home. You're sleeping on a mat on a floor, relying on your mother to bail you out, overstaying your visa, getting hooked on meth, the list goes on. This is not going to end well. I used to know a guy here - he was a teacher, probably early twenties. At first he seemed pretty cool, like he had his poo poo together. Then, one day, he had a seizure in front of his kindergarten class. Frothing at the mouth, hit his head on the table on the way down, scary poo poo. He brushed it off, then had another one a couple of weeks later. Turns out he'd been taking a shitload of Xanax (easily available over the counter here in Thailand if you know which pharmacies to go to) and when he ran out of money towards the end of the month and couldn't afford it, bam, withdrawal seizures. I tried to tell him how he could seriously actually die from this poo poo, and he just told me to chill out. Then he started smoking meth. I think eventually his Mom bought him a ticket home before he ended up killing himself. Basically, I'm picturing you as that guy. Thailand is a great place to live, but you gotta have some self control when it comes to women and drugs, man. Bardeh fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Feb 12, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 17:43
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Day 2: library has Einstein book but it's in vietnamese fml. hired a bargirl to translate it.pricey but she says she can do it quick, three days, tops
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 17:48
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The Alchemist posted:Yeah, I got rid of the drug part, and I would actually like some advice where and how to find some actually decent, nice girls. You happen to have any tips? The truth is that most 'decent' middle-class Thai women won't date foreigners. Especially not foreigners who are currently sleeping on their friend's floor. Despite the rep that Thailand has for all the sex tourism, most Thais are actually pretty conservative when it comes to sex and dating. One-night stands and casual sex just aren't a thing, really, outside of the sleazy tourist spots. That's not to say that there aren't nice girls out there who will date you...it's just that they're likely to be poor, or from a poor family, and you're a potential ticket out of that. So when things don't work out, they can often take it badly, as you've already discovered. Bardeh fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Feb 12, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:00
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I love how drug-fueled adventures shave expectations of standard of living and health to a nub |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:03
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The Alchemist posted:Yeah, I got rid of the drug part, and I would actually like some advice where and how to find some actually decent, nice girls. You happen to have any tips? The same as in any other country. If you don't want to end up with a drug addicted crazy person, don't hang around with drug addicted crazy people. Work on yourself, get a job and stop hanging around in bars. You can't have everything in life. If you choose a crazy life of nonstop fun and no stability, you'll end up hanging around crazy people. Good with the bad, I guess. |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:07
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The Alchemist posted:She might kill herself before that. She already tried to hang herself the day I left her. That's her problem not a foreign sex tourist's problem. You are a rube and your "friends" will string you along for exactly as long as it takes for your (mom's) money to dry up. Hope you don't get hosed too bad in this process. |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:18
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day 3: i'm in thailand today,. how did that happen? (maybe meth)
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:22
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Why are you staying in Thailand? Like, that seems to be non-negotiable to you, but why? |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:33
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day 4: i'm beginning to think that bargirl wasn't a bargirl at all, but instad a common whore. thank goodness i have no interest in loving anyone except for myself. she could have really taken me for a ride!
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:35
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Instead of stressing so hard on finding a girl, get your poo poo together and get rid of your ex girlfriend (sever, etc). Make sure you have no debts or left-over mob connections, and then find a real place to live. |
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Feb 12, 2015 19:19
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The Alchemist posted:Yeah I'm done with one night stands I think, I'd like to find a girl who isn't that fast to progress. There was one really really good one I met in Chonburi but she was upper-middleclass and was used to getting pampered so I friendzoned her to save her from disappointment she would've had experienced when I couldnt provide same lifestyle as her international business dad. Yes, I would suggest bringing online dating into the mix. |
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Feb 12, 2015 19:30
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| Thank you for doing all the back story summary poo poo in the OP, OP, and the helpful title | |
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Feb 12, 2015 19:44
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my bony fealty posted:move back to the West before you get your fingers cut off by thai mobsters, you dolt Ya like if this guy lived in Idaho he would be a upstanding taxpayer with 2.3 kids and a dog and a minivan right? |
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Feb 12, 2015 19:47
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day 5: had a great idea (while smoking meth) which was to smoke more meth. after I did that i watched an episode of the twilight zone called "mirror image" and realized i've been going about this all wrong. what I need is a doppleganger that i can gently caress (do not care if he is evil)
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 19:54
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The Alchemist posted:I made an online dating profile on a thai dating website, but all the women are looking for someone older than me Great plan! I'm guessing this is more of an attempt at a "Show people how awesome my life is! Man will they be jealous, the boring losers!" thread then a "I really could use some help" thread. |
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Feb 12, 2015 20:14
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| Your story isn't nearly as entertaining as you think no matter how many E/N threads you make about it. Hell long-winded letter obsessed goon is more interesting | |
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Feb 12, 2015 20:32
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day 6: disaster and disallusionment. the doppleganger looked just like me, but when we hosed, i felt the rear end-pleasure but i did not feel the cock-pleasure. i wasn't really loving myself. i was only loving my twin. not the same thing at all. on the plus side, did not feel any pain when i killed and dismembered him. additional drawback: he smoked half my meth Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 20:56
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Are you able to date girls from wherever you're from? Are you German or Dutch maybe? |
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Feb 12, 2015 21:02
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The Alchemist posted:Oh hey and I apologize everyone who tried to tell me my life's a mess, and I brushed it off like "Oh, you are just jealous". I'm starting to get it that this isn't ideal. Lol |
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Feb 12, 2015 22:41
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The Alchemist posted:I decided to make a new thread, because the last thread was about a marriage that is not now happening as we split up. Basically I will use this thread to rant after the major fuckups that are more of a rule than exception in my life now. I am making this thread for myself, as writing all this poo poo down might maybe get the things in right order in my head and I could somehow work it out what am I doing wrong. That said, feel free to comment, point, and laugh at me. I'm going to bullet point the stuff you've been saying: - Broke off engagement - Got into meth - Committed crimes after meeting a meth head with mob ties - Overstayed Visa - Owed money to three different guest houses - Passport taken away - Ex took your deposit - Ex is pushing debts on to you The Alchemist posted:Oh hey and I apologize everyone who tried to tell me my life's a mess, and I brushed it off like "Oh, you are just jealous". I'm starting to get it that this isn't ideal. I never read your previous thread, but you didn't brush it off, you're brushing it off. The only real advice you're getting is to get out of Thailand before you end up dead in a gutter, yet you continue to act as if you're having some sort of wacky and zany adventure. To date, all you've really done is rack up debt, sleep with unstable women, and smoke some meth. Moving to Thailand was a terrible idea and if you stay there, it'll only get worse. Cut your loses, and go back home. |
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Feb 12, 2015 23:45
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Previously, on goon gone retard: 
To be continued|
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Not enough meth. Do more. |
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Feb 13, 2015 00:24
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| Do they Tinder in Thai? Do that | |
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Feb 13, 2015 01:15
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Your question seems to be "how do I find dates" when your question should be "how do I scrape up enough money for a plane ticket back home before I get murdered". |
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Feb 13, 2015 01:45
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detectivemonkey posted:Your question seems to be "how do I find dates" when your question should be "how do I scrape up enough money for a plane ticket back home before I get murdered". 1. step one: find a date 2. have date buy him a plane ticket home |
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Feb 13, 2015 02:03
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Go home. |
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Feb 13, 2015 06:08
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You are most likely going to die horribly via drug related poo poo (does any really believe this guy is going to stay clean?) or via mobsters and I actually really cannot feel any sympathy for your stupid rear end. Wait no, I feel sorry for the mom who's funneling money to a son who's going to get sent back as a corpse |
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Feb 13, 2015 06:41
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there are 3 ways out of this, death by od in a southeast asian brothel, death by detox in a southeast asian prison, or going home. go the f home |
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Feb 13, 2015 07:08
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day 7: what am i doing here in taiwan, chasing the dragon of loving myself? i'm sick...i'm bankrupt...and worst of all i'm out of meth. finally broke down and called my mom. she sent me $400 for tickets back to the states. "tickets back to the states" is our code for "more meth" (incase interpol is listening)
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Mar 21, 2015 |
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Feb 13, 2015 08:16
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How about you go somewhere else instead of saying you don't want to involve her in your drama and then involving her anyway? Like home. Go home and your ex can't stalk you. |
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Feb 13, 2015 08:20
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OP your life sounds amazing, don't listen to these idiots. This is the bohemian fantasy you always dreamed of. |
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Feb 13, 2015 14:25
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Hey, op, yolo. Probably not long, either. |
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Feb 13, 2015 15:25
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go to bangkok heard there are girls there |
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Feb 13, 2015 15:55
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The Alchemist posted:So I've been talking with this 18yo girl all day on a dating site, she lives close by so I suggested we go lunch tomorrow. The only thing bothering me is that the crazy ex also lives by, and seems to stalk me. Every time we have had guests she just sort of appears out of nowhere, so its like she is always watching. Like I stated in earlier thread, she is 34yo and crazy meth head, and I feel really bad if the 18 year old gets somehow involved in this drama. Be sure to tell her about your ex, your meth habit and your petty crimes as soon as you meet her. Girls love a bad boy. Be sure to go into detail when it comes to telling her about your sex life with your ex as well. |
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Feb 13, 2015 16:03
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OP you met a nice girl, already. It is your mother. She is the only one that will get you out of this, ask her money for a ticket home immediately. |
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Feb 13, 2015 16:27
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 20:53 |
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The Alchemist posted:Yeah, I got rid of the drug part, and I would actually like some advice where and how to find some actually decent, nice girls. You happen to have any tips? America. Idiot. |
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Feb 13, 2015 17:32
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