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Nov 7, 2005

im the young stud neighbor your momma warned you about :getin:

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DONT THREAD ON ME
Oct 1, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Floss Finder
should have cast bill gates as the billionare, imo

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

should have cast bill gates as the billionare, imo

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

VendaGoat posted:

50 shades of Beige

When I worked at sears in college dumb house wife sluts used to come in and ask me to make their paint more "beigey" and I wanted to murder them with my dick. Sometimes I did.

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

BKPR posted:

dad grey.

so what

cosmicjim
Mar 23, 2010
VISIT THE STICKIED GOON HOLIDAY CHARITY DRIVE THREAD IN GBS.

Goons are changing the way children get an education in Haiti.

Edit - Oops, no they aren't. They donated to doobie instead.
I'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with my wife. (I like my wife)

ham_sanitizer
Jul 12, 2014

professional swine bather

cosmicjim posted:

I'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with my wife. (I like my wife)

can i have sex with her if you're not using her?

OMG JC a Bomb!
Jul 13, 2004

We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.
E.l James made her husband read her book as she wrote it.

Can you imagine him sighing in resignation as he's forced to read his wife's fantasies of taking a rich young man's huge cock into her sweaty, fat vaginal folds?

Oh jeez....

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
you can trust me when I say suburban moms are getting kinky sex on the reg.

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

Motherfucker posted:

you can trust me when I say suburban moms are getting kinky sex on the reg.

oh poo poo!

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
what even constitutes as kinky anymore even? everyone I've hosed over my life has become more and more degenerate - is anybody really blown away by any of the sex in this book and under 40??

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

my bike club was walking out of the pizza place tonight and there was a big lineup at the movie theater and it was mostly geezers and their wives so my friend says "50 shades of grey?" hahahahahahha

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW

numberoneposter posted:

my bike club was walking out of the pizza place tonight and there was a big lineup at the movie theater and it was mostly geezers and their wives so my friend says "50 shades of grey?" hahahahahahha

lol no way

Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.

Bert Roberge
Nov 28, 2003

Nation posted:

dad gay, so what

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

al bundy didnt get any on the side

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
i just want to massacre women with my dick and fists

TheMostFrench
Jul 12, 2009

Stop for me, it's the claw!



Top City Homo posted:

i just want to massacre women with my dick and fists

The Elder Scrolls modding thread is that way.

dads_work_files
May 14, 2008

important_document.avi

*sighs* yet another thing that mainstream society got wrong about the bdsm community *voice is muted by zipped up gimp mask as i am ridden around the room by a portly 60-year-old woman in leather chaps and a max headroom mask*

iSheep
Feb 5, 2006

by R. Guyovich

"hey, you're not peg! BWWWUUUAAAHHH"

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
I've been beating the wife for years now. This movie is kids stuff.

Relin
Oct 6, 2002

You have been a most worthy adversary, but in every game, there are winners and there are losers. And as you know, in this game, losers get robotizicized!

Monstrous Dooklord posted:

If you read the books it actually treats S & M really weird, it's all really tame babby bitchs first butt plug type stuff but the underlying principle across all the books is that it's deviant no good stuff that the girl tricks him into not liking because it's Wrong and he's only into it because he got raped by some older lady when he was 15. It's really the boring book worm girl who wins his heart and makes him get wifed up and caked up and have a baby. So it introduces women who think S & M is light spanking and a buttplug and having a billionaire feed you hamburgers to the concept of power dynamics, while also showing that it really is just deviancy you can will out of a man through withholding sex. The movie is even more forward about this so lol if you think anyones even getting laid over this piece of poo poo.
so its a bait and switch? really because none of the marketing ive seen alluded to that

ZergRushing
Oct 1, 2004
ive been having kinky sex on the reg for years because im not a fat smalled dicked goon like most of america

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Relin posted:

so its a bait and switch? really because none of the marketing ive seen alluded to that

the later books have some hosed up poo poo, he rips out her tampon because THEY MUST gently caress and flips it across the room like wet spaghetti. Then he makes her have a baby so he can suck her tit milk

Clitch
Feb 26, 2002

I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus
E.L. James is the same age as most of your mothers.

Kink has been way more pervasive in suburban bedrooms than you think.

Your parents kept you out of their bedroom closet for reasons other than Christmas presents.

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

dads_work_files posted:

*sighs* yet another thing that mainstream society got wrong about the bdsm community *voice is muted by zipped up gimp mask as i am ridden around the room by a portly 60-year-old woman in leather chaps and a max headroom mask*

OWLS!
Sep 17, 2009

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
This is literaly a movie based on twilight fanfiction.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

should be homer simpson

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Motherfucker posted:

you can trust me when I say suburban moms are getting kinky sex on the reg.

yeah, BDSM is basically made for middle aged fat white people so they can pretend to be interesting and delay the affairs for another 5 or 10 years

I haven't read the book but I like to think of it as some con. Fresh out of college lady finds out a billionaire wants to bone her but she's not down with the kinky poo poo so she turns him in to a beta and spends the rest of her life enjoying all the money and cocaine she wants

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
Farmers prefer fifty shades of grain.

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
yeah these books are like how TV and movies like to have their awards shows where celebrities pat each other on the back for being so progressive but in all their poo poo their basic message is that every woman is a heart-to-heart convo away from being a full-on, man-hating lesbian and every dude is gay if you give him some booze

O. Henry O-Face
Sep 16, 2009

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

yeah these books are like how TV and movies like to have their awards shows where celebrities pat each other on the back for being so progressive but in all their poo poo their basic message is that every woman is a heart-to-heart convo away from being a full-on, man-hating lesbian and every dude is gay if you give him some booze

I mean... If it's REALLY good booze...

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
bdsm seems like a lot of effort

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
why does anybody care about this stupid sex book

Xile
Nov 25, 2005

On the Seventh Day he made the Whopper.

cosmicjim posted:

I'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with my wife. (I like my wife)

Hollis Brownsound
Apr 2, 2009

by Lowtax

1gnoirents posted:

why does anybody care about this stupid sex book

Personally I just think it's hilarious that fat middle aged white ladies are taking the bus to work in the morning, publicly reading the female equivalent to Letters to Penthouse.

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

1gnoirents posted:

why does anybody care about this stupid sex book

fascism is inherent to humanity's basic needs

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

1gnoirents posted:

why does anybody care about this stupid sex book

maybe i''ll get laid?

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

Zzulu posted:

bdsm seems like a lot of effort

bdsm is for people whose sex drives have, through chemical abuse and physical neglect, diminished to the point where they need a complex series of psychological triggers to begin to feel arousal

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A Winner is Jew
Feb 14, 2008

by exmarx

VendaGoat posted:

50 shades of Beige

Irvine?

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