itt we are from new york

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > itt we are from new york

Khorne: May 1, 2002

thathonkey posted:

*cant comprehend basic traffic rules and signage*

Driving in NYC was easy as poo poo. I don't get why it's so hyped up. Just don't expect to park anywhere and the driving part is simple.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 18:46

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:34

CISMALES DID 9-11: Jun 5, 2002; chaotic good STEM major; INTJ

Khorne posted:

Driving in NYC was easy as poo poo. I don't get why it's so hyped up. Just don't expect to park anywhere and the driving part is simple.

same reason as anything in NYC gets hyped up -- people from that area think everything they do is exceptional or different even though it's all seen in any metro city

# ? Feb 16, 2015 18:46

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Baba Booey!

# ? Feb 16, 2015 18:48

Alec Bald Snatch: Sep 12, 2012; by exmarx

pays way too much for subpar marijuana

# ? Feb 16, 2015 18:50

fuccboi: Jan 5, 2004; by zen death robot

Host: Caller, you're on the air.
Caller: Thanks so much for taking my call. You know we're talking about the GOP-controlled Congress but if we looked at the voting record for when the Democrats had a supermajority you'd find that there are some striking similarities especially when you consider the smell emanating from Howard Stern's balls.
Host: Whoop...Thanks very much caller, oh jeez sorry folks, one of those was bound to slip through.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:02

Hingehead: Nov 24, 2013

Bonzo posted:

Baba Booey!

Back in 1997, My brother used to work in a medical building right across the street from Howard Stern's studio. They were looking for random people for them to pick a song and sing it. My brother was one of those three people, he randomly picked a tape, brought it to the studio , but he didn't know the lyrics since he randomly selected the tape. Howard actually thought my brother was retarded because of this difficulty in singing the lyrics.

My brother did ended up winning two tickets to San Francisco, but the airliner went out of business by then. Howard lives up to the name of a cheap jew.

quote:

"Headphone Karaoke Contest. 11/11/1997. 7:30am
After the break Howard came back to try out this bit he had prepared. He said that they have the K-Y jelly there for him to try to have sex with the Real Doll too. He said that if it was at home with him he would have done it already. He said that she was untouched so far but he'll get around to it eventually. He said that he doesn't have to worry about her being moved because she weighs so much.
Howard said he has three listeners there and they're going to listen to songs through headphones and sing along to them on the air. He spoke to the first guy who was going to be singing ''Like a Virgin'' by Madonna.

Howard had Gary setting this guy up to do his thing but they ended up arguing about the whole thing. The first guy eventually started to sing but Howard said it was the worst bit he had ever come up with.

Howard had the second guy trying to sing ''With Or Without You'' by U2. That guy didn't know the lyrics so he was having a problem getting the lines out. It was making Howard laugh though. He let the guy go through most of the song. He said they may have just found a lead singer for their band (The Losers). Howard eventually cut the guy off and said he thought that he was retarded or something during that song.

Howard had the third guy, Tommy, sing ''Heard it Through The Grape Vine.'' The guy went through it and had Robin and Howard laughing. Howard cut him off and said that he knew who he was voting for. He was going for the second guy and his ''With or Without You'' cover. The vote was unanimous so he was the winner. He had won tickets to San Francisco. Gary said he had tickets to Green Day if the guys wanted them. Howard talked to the guys for a short time and let them go.

http://www.marksfriggin.com/news96_97/nov-97.htm

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:12

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Khorne posted:

Driving in NYC was easy as poo poo. I don't get why it's so hyped up. Just don't expect to park anywhere and the driving part is simple.

Probably because it uses the traditional grid layout instead of whacky street plans found in other cities like SF or DC.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:12

Monkey Fracas: Sep 11, 2010; ...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!; Grimey Drawer

It is both a cultural center and an enormous rat infested garbage dump full of assholes

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:14

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

Khorne posted:

Driving in NYC was easy as poo poo. I don't get why it's so hyped up. Just don't expect to park anywhere and the driving part is simple.

If you don't need to park it's great. Cars are really useful in NYC if you're driving straight through to some other place that does have parking. Got it. Sounds ideal.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:16

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Monkey Fracas posted:

It is both a cultural center and an enormous rat infested garbage dump full of assholes

there's a good reason why rich people flee the city in the summer.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:18

Maka: Mar 18, 2001

*infiltrates south FL and won't shut up about how great new york is*

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:20

The Duchess Smackarse: May 8, 2012; by Lowtax

Of the various vacations I've been on, New York City was my favvy fav. Though it did smell like hot asphalt and garbage.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:22

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

gannyGrabber posted:

favvy fav

Are you 5

That reminds me though. I grew up in the same building that Flava Flav lived in in the 90s. He'd always wear white fluffy coats and other pimp poo poo and say "Hey cutie!" When I walked by from ages 4-6 and having no idea who the gently caress he was, I was like :stare:

STRANGER DANGER

I wonder if I messaged him now if he'd remember me

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:29

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Frosted Flake posted:

"I remember New York before Giuliani came in and cleaned it up. It had character ."

http://imgur.com/a/PETBA

^ Character.jpg

This New York was an actually good cool city and that anyone tries to claim turning all the strip clubs off Times Square into Starbucks was an improvement is all the proof I need that mankind is being overrun by lizard people

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:30

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

This New York was an actually good cool city and that anyone tries to claim turning all the strip clubs off Times Square into Starbucks was an improvement is all the proof I need that mankind is being overrun by lizard people

If they want a taste of "old 42nd Street" tourists need to go past 8th and 9th Avenue by the Port Authority bus terminal. At 2 in the morning. With their wallets showing :getin:

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:34

Erethizon_dorsatum: Nov 14, 2009

*insists on haggling for every loving thing*

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:39

Sheen Sheen: Nov 18, 2002

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

This New York was an actually good cool city and that anyone tries to claim turning all the strip clubs off Times Square into Starbucks was an improvement is all the proof I need that mankind is being overrun by lizard people

It wouldn't be a New York thread without someone saying "No, you see, New York was so much better when it was even MORE of a filthy, crime-ridden shithole!"

If New York turned back into 1970s New York tomorrow, 99% of the people who think this way would barricade themselves inside their $8000 a month walk-in closets and pray for a quick death.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:40

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

This New York was an actually good cool city and that anyone tries to claim turning all the strip clubs off Times Square into Starbucks was an improvement is all the proof I need that mankind is being overrun by lizard people

Movies like the Taxi Driver, Warriors or Death Wish are really neat since they capture the pre-banker apocalyptic feel of the city really well.

It was basically closer to the Purge irl.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:43

Khorne: May 1, 2002

thathonkey posted:

If you don't need to park it's great. Cars are really useful in NYC if you're driving straight through to some other place that does have parking. Got it. Sounds ideal.

There's plenty of parking in most of the boroughs. I mean if you are going somewhere just know where you are going to park before going there. There's no need to drive once you are in the city.

I don't like NYC much, I'd avoid living there, but it's fine to visit. I find it pretty draining. Their pizza is the best I've ever had though. It's not just hype.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Feb 16, 2015

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:46

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Sheen Sheen posted:

It wouldn't be a New York thread without someone saying "No, you see, New York was so much better when it was even MORE of a filthy, crime-ridden shithole!"

If New York turned back into 1970s New York tomorrow, 99% of the people who think this way would barricade themselves inside their $8000 a month walk-in closets and pray for a quick death.

Crime only happens in New York so you folks from flyover states like Anacostia will just have to trust me that it's really really scary

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:47

CISMALES DID 9-11: Jun 5, 2002; chaotic good STEM major; INTJ

Khorne posted:

There's plenty of parking in most of the boroughs.

I don't like NYC much, I'd avoid living there, but it's fine to visit. I find it pretty draining and inconvenient in general. Their pizza is the best I've ever had though. It's not just hype.

Their pizza is good if you like that thin floppy stuff which is probably my least favorite kind of pizza

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:48

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Khorne posted:

Their pizza is the best I've ever had though. It's not just hype.

lmao, other cities have just as good pizza if not better

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:50

Khorne: May 1, 2002

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

Their pizza is good if you like that thin floppy stuff which is probably my least favorite kind of pizza

I care most about the taste. It tastes absolutely amazing. I like a thick pizza as much as the next guy, but it wouldn't really improve NYC pizza any.

etalian posted:

lmao, other cities have just as good pizza if not better

Sometimes at some places. But there's good pizza everywhere in NYC.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:50

Big Black Brony: Jul 11, 2008; Congratulations on Graduation Shnookums.
Love, Mom & Dad

Of course I live in this area of South Florida! But only in the winter times!

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:50

fuccboi: Jan 5, 2004; by zen death robot

Lets see work on the island and make 50k or do the same job in manhattan and make 200k but accept a 6 hour daily commute

welp

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:55

EB Nulshit: Apr 12, 2014; It was more disappointing (and surprising) when I found that even most of Manhattan isn't like Times Square.

Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Lets see work on the island and make 50k or do the same job in manhattan and make 200k but accept a 6 hour daily commute

welp

Take the $200k job and pay $3k/mo for a studio right across the street imo. 1-minute daily commute.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:05

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

EB Nulshit posted:

Take the $200k job and pay $3k/mo for a studio right across the street imo. 1-minute daily commute.

Then you can brag about making $200k while having the same standard of living as someone making $50k anywhere else :buddy:

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:07

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

etalian posted:

Probably because it uses the traditional grid layout instead of whacky street plans found in other cities like SF or DC.

Speaking of which, driving in London is a circle of Hell that Dante somehow failed to describe. Luckily they have the most highly-trained taxi drivers in the world (to get a cab driver's license in London you have to know every single goddamn street and every landmark and they test you on it thoroughly), so you don't actually have to drive there unless you're a masochist or a local (but I repeat myself).

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:09

Snowy: Oct 6, 2010; A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VokYv274fVM

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:11

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

Khorne posted:

There's plenty of parking in most of the boroughs. I mean if you are going somewhere just know where you are going to park before going there. There's no need to drive once you are in the city.

you're right that does sound really convenient

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:16

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Lets see work on the island and make 50k or do the same job in manhattan and make 200k but accept a 6 hour daily commute

welp

It pretty the crazy the commute people do just have a white people single family house with picket fence.

A hour or two on the diesel commuter train, then having to transfer over to the subway system.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:18

Fuck da Mods: Jun 27, 2013; fina get poz'd?

poop on the streets,

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:19

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

*pours a glass of ~~tap water~~ microscopic shrimp*

*everything is truly better in NY. no wonder our pizza and bagels are so exceptional.*

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:21

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:23

Monkey Fracas: Sep 11, 2010; ...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!; Grimey Drawer

whoaoohh dat bagel is HUGE

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:24

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

thathonkey posted:

you're right that does sound really convenient

Yup park curbside in the right neighborhood and wake up to find the best parts of your car taken off/stolen from the inside. Easy driving lemme tell ya

Or you could always spend $30 a day for the privilege to park in the only slightly more secure lots scattered around the area

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:24

fuccboi: Jan 5, 2004; by zen death robot

Stand clear of the closing doors, please!

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:24

EB Nulshit: Apr 12, 2014; It was more disappointing (and surprising) when I found that even most of Manhattan isn't like Times Square.

Cuckoo posted:

Then you can brag about making $200k while having the same standard of living as someone making $50k anywhere else

haha nope

someone making $50k somewhere else can afford better than a lovely studio that doesnt even have central ac

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:24

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Monsters attack and try to destroy NYC since they got tired about hearing how it's the best city in the world.

(Loki did nothing wrong)

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:24

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:34

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

etalian posted:

Movies like the Taxi Driver, Warriors or Death Wish are really neat since they capture the pre-banker apocalyptic feel of the city really well.

It was basically closer to the Purge irl.

The Warriors is actually a documentary about trying to take the NQR trains after 11 pm.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:27

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