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*Herds her cats inside and shuts the door*
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Feb 25, 2015 19:27
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:13 |
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*There is a pitched firefight on the lower levels in which many guards are killed* *It's business as usual for the guards further up the tower*
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Feb 25, 2015 19:38
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No! Stop! Think of everything we could achieve if you joined me!
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Feb 25, 2015 19:51
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*Spends entire first two acts fuming at hero's accomplishments and swearing that he'll watch hero suffer a long and painful death* *Leaves the room when hero is being slowly lowered into vat of electric eels*
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Feb 25, 2015 19:54
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*receives work orders for the day* IMPORTANT! VITAL MISSION: Venture forth to the Hissing Wastes and stand guard at 37° 31' 30" N 122° 02' 10" W. Defend AT ALL COSTS! *location is an abandoned campsite with one chest containing 38gp, wool, a copy of The Busty Draconian Au Pair vol. 7, and a pair of shears*
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Feb 25, 2015 19:55
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issue an amber alert
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Feb 25, 2015 19:59
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*Guards' helmets reduce peripheral vision to practically zero* *Strobing red alarm lights aren't helping*
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Feb 25, 2015 20:05
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STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!
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Feb 25, 2015 20:25
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"you'll never take me alive!" *is captured instantly* *is alive*
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Feb 25, 2015 20:57
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"Now... die!!!" *Minions blurt out "Yes, Master" and fall over dead*
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Feb 25, 2015 21:10
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cyberbug posted:"Behold... my true form!" A grizzled, bearded town drunk slumped by a pile of crates does a double-take, looks accusingly at the bottle of hootch in his hand, and then pitches it over his shoulder where it smashes off-camera.
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Feb 25, 2015 21:33
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Points gun at hero, gun makes slide racking sound for no apparent reason.
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Feb 25, 2015 21:42
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I'm a big tough jerk, there is no way I will be easily dispatched by the spunky female lead.
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Feb 25, 2015 21:57
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*removes knife from leather sheath, which makes the sssshhhiiiinnnngggg!!!!! sound of metal on metal* *looks at knife, confused*
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Feb 25, 2015 21:59
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*swivels chair around to view captured, beaten hero* "You see, everything goes according to plan. Today the mods sticky the thread, and tomorrow the entire Internet will overflow with catchphrases and memes." *hero spits blood* "You'll never get away with it!" "But I already have, ralp. Just accept it. Just-" *pauses dramatically* -post." *a torturous "noooooooo!" can be heard from very far away* wearing a lampshade fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Feb 26, 2015 |
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Feb 25, 2015 21:59
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-V9T0SiWvA
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Feb 25, 2015 22:12
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"We are not so different, you and I." *is immediately eviscerated by hero's Disemboweling EyeRoll attack*
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Feb 25, 2015 22:18
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HatfulOfHollow posted:issue an amber alert Are you sure, sir? That does mean changing the light bulb.
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Feb 25, 2015 22:48
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no no no, it's a misunderstanding - surely when the mods here of this I'll be back to my magistrate duties at once!
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Feb 25, 2015 22:55
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*3 cop cars chase wrongly accused hero, all of them crash and collect workers comp and full lifetime pension for injuries*
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Feb 25, 2015 22:57
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Vendor buy bank guards!
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Feb 25, 2015 23:01
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Feb 25, 2015 23:24
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*starts to peruse but slips on banana peel.*
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Feb 25, 2015 23:29
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*No John, you are the demons!*
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Feb 25, 2015 23:47
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"So Mr handsome, you made it past all my heavily armed and highly trained Ninja guards?" "But now you have to face the....JUGGERNAUT hahaha" "This unstoppable machine of death will be too much for you, Mr Handsome!" ... "Oh hey, c'mon do you know how much that thing cost?!" "Alright, alright - you can take the Queen! Down the hall and first left, she's almost eaten all our biscuits anyway and I'm sick of her saying that my grandpapa did a better job at this" ... "Right, he's gone - who wants to see how much the UN will pay us not to fire a nuclear missile into the sun?"
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Feb 26, 2015 00:10
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*falls into laundry cart*
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Feb 26, 2015 00:23
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prophet45 posted:Points gun at hero, gun makes slide racking sound for no apparent reason. *Fires three shots* *gun is empty* *fistfight ensues* Missing Name fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Feb 26, 2015 |
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Feb 26, 2015 01:22
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*slips on the puddle of oil cunningly spilled by the hero* WHOOOAAAAAAAA *cartoon sound effects play phweeweeweeWEEEEEEE*
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Feb 26, 2015 01:39
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*Leaves keys in the ignition of all vehicles*
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Feb 26, 2015 02:59
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I'm the black guy who sees the hero's getaway car fly over after jumping off a bridge and says "WHAT THE F-" only to be cut off by an explosion as bad guy tanks bust through the wall behind him.
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Feb 26, 2015 03:56
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"go get him hes getting away!" *turns to guards* "get him go hes getting away!" *turns to guard* "you go with them! help them get him! hes getting away!" *turns to other guards* "you imbeciles! help him help them get him! hes getting away!" *turns to religion* "god please help! go with them to help them help him help them! he's getting away!" *turns to channel 4* "ooooh, The Voice!" *watches The Voice* *likes Pharrell but wishes he would speak up more*
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Feb 26, 2015 04:08
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"So we meet again! You've done well to come this far but alas your heroics are at an end. "Guards! Seize him!" "Oh? But how can you seize what you can't...sees?" *drops smoke bomb*
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Feb 26, 2015 04:21
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*catches breath* WONT SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON
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Feb 26, 2015 04:28
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*glances up at security monitors* *shakes newspaper, goes back to reading*
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Feb 26, 2015 06:08
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyovPddRJyM
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Feb 26, 2015 07:12
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*Decides the Castle pantry needs as many guards watching it as the front door*
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Feb 26, 2015 07:15
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*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* "How many bullets did I fire? Are you feeling lucky?" *runs away*
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Feb 26, 2015 07:29
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"I'm not paying you to think!"
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Feb 26, 2015 07:31
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My blonde hair gives me the power to not react to getting punched.
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Feb 26, 2015 07:38
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:13 |
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im the guard who took this job to help pay for his kids college fund. I grazed through high school and flunked out of my passion, journalism. The job offer mentioned possible danger pay, and it was literally twice what i'd be making at the mine, so i'd be an idiot not to take it. My wife was thrilled, we'd finally be able to afford to fix up the basement  My boss seemed kinda strange, but he was a doctor so he must be smart right? Anyways the work isn't so bad, i just walk around in a figure 8 most nights and call in an-----~tossed off a roof to die with a broken back, staring up at the sky thinking about my children~
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Feb 26, 2015 07:49
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