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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless





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Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!
the police have always been very forgiving with me as a white man in a southern city

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
The only good cop is a dead cop

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!
when i was a teenager i was caught in the act committing several felonies and let go. probably would've shot me if i was a black teen. owns for me, bad in general

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe
I disagree, OP.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!
i like how when you become a police officer you automaticaly lose your ability to communicate like a normal person and everything you say comes out in cop vernacular

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
the police academy movies are a documentary

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!
once iw as being menaced by a lunatic with a crowbar, who was outside my house walking around and running up to my car like he was about to hit and retreating again to keep pacing. it was a school day and there were kids going to the bus stop and poo poo like fifty feet away

anyway the police show up and they're all "why do you need a crowbar adn why are you talking to yourself" and he told them that he had to defend himself against the zombies that were somehow related to a BDSM sex club i was running, which was a front to break into his house and rearrange his poo poo

they didn't even take the crowbar away they just told him to leave for the day. i was all, drat

RattiRatto
Jun 26, 2014

:gary: :I'd like to borrow $200M
:whatfor:
:gary: :To make vidya game

Frog Act posted:

i like how when you become a police officer you automaticaly lose your ability to communicate like a normal person and everything you say comes out in cop vernacular

It's called "power". People that know to have power(a gun and a uniform in this case) just get the worst out of themselves

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

RattiRatto posted:

It's called "power". People that know to have power(a gun and a uniform in this case) just get the worst out of themselves

some tiny measure of power doesn't automatically make you an inarticulate retard

"we can see, uh, that the subjects uh, escape, uh transpired in uh, this general direction before, uh...he was apprehended, uh"

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012
another one of these threads?

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

Darkman Fanpage posted:

another one of these threads?

skittering brood of the hellthread

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
I smoked weed with a cop once. He seemed p. cool.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Frog Act posted:

skittering brood of the hellthread

idgi

Funkysauce
Sep 18, 2005
...and what about the kick in the groin?

Frog Act posted:

some tiny measure of power doesn't automatically make you an inarticulate retard

"we can see, uh, that the subjects uh, escape, uh transpired in uh, this general direction before, uh...he was apprehended, uh"

LOVE THIS. This is pretty much how every cop talks. If you watch the show COPS you can see these po'dunk hillbilly cops speak exactly like that.

Not to say that cops anywhere else don't sound the same.

MarioTeachesWiping
Nov 1, 2006

by XyloJW


more like this pls

RattiRatto
Jun 26, 2014

:gary: :I'd like to borrow $200M
:whatfor:
:gary: :To make vidya game

Frog Act posted:

some tiny measure of power doesn't automatically make you an inarticulate retard

"we can see, uh, that the subjects uh, escape, uh transpired in uh, this general direction before, uh...he was apprehended, uh"

there is a really nice theory from complex systems that basicly mathematically shows that the more you go higher in a ranking(power in this case) the more incapable
people you will find (relative to that level)

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

:agreed:

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
cops gay so what

Benjamin Arthur
Nov 7, 2012

Ancient Mariner
Jan 14, 2015

by Lowtax
Cops are actually good and cool

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

RattiRatto posted:

there is a really nice theory from complex systems that basicly mathematically shows that the more you go higher in a ranking(power in this case) the more incapable
people you will find (relative to that level)

seems like this explains congress more than the police. police are just the retard dregs of society beating up the other retard dregs

Harton
Jun 13, 2001

redshirt posted:

I smoked weed with a cop once. He seemed p. cool.

I sold weed to a cop once.

I've known his wife from since we were kids, so she called me and asked if I could sell her like 10-20$ worth. "I was like sure just come by whenever and I'll hook you up". So she calls me later and was like "my husband is gonna come pick it up I'm stuck at work". So I proceeded to poo poo my pants for a half hour waiting for him to show up. He was in uniform and everything and just gave me 20$ and I gave him the weed. I was all like " I'm not sure what it measures out too, I DONT HAVE A SCALE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!"

Clitch
Feb 26, 2002

I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

Frog Act posted:

seems like this explains congress more than the police. police are just the retard dregs of society beating up the other retard dregs

Nah. Congressmen are mostly installed puppets these day.

Rising to the level of your incompetence, as a phenomenon, is mostly an extension of that old GBS favorite, the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

Demonachizer
Aug 7, 2004

lol

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Harton posted:

I sold weed to a cop once.

I've known his wife from since we were kids, so she called me and asked if I could sell her like 10-20$ worth. "I was like sure just come by whenever and I'll hook you up". So she calls me later and was like "my husband is gonna come pick it up I'm stuck at work". So I proceeded to poo poo my pants for a half hour waiting for him to show up. He was in uniform and everything and just gave me 20$ and I gave him the weed. I was all like " I'm not sure what it measures out too, I DONT HAVE A SCALE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!"

lol that's even better.

The cop I smoked with was like a captain or something too. I was wicked nervous but the chief of the fire department told me he was cool.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
Please make all police goons who post in their dumb hugbox thread GiP and Coupons only.

Thank you in advance.

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
cops are actually really good especially if you are a goon because they protect you from adult bullies

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.
i have a friend who once confessed to me how me how great judge dredd would be if it was "real life"

he's a police officer now

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

Harton posted:

I sold weed to a cop once.

I've known his wife from since we were kids, so she called me and asked if I could sell her like 10-20$ worth. "I was like sure just come by whenever and I'll hook you up". So she calls me later and was like "my husband is gonna come pick it up I'm stuck at work". So I proceeded to poo poo my pants for a half hour waiting for him to show up. He was in uniform and everything and just gave me 20$ and I gave him the weed. I was all like " I'm not sure what it measures out too, I DONT HAVE A SCALE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!"

that guy seems monumentally stupid for buying weed in uniform

which reminds me, they drug test cops a lot, so whats the deal with the like loose cannon "Training Day" style cop stereotype? are there really cops out there who will like do coke with you if you testify falsely or something

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


Chinatown posted:

Please make all police goons who post in their dumb hugbox thread GiP and Coupons only.

Thank you in advance.

The cop chat threads are like a zillion times better than the D&D cop threads tho

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Fat Lowtax posted:

The cop chat threads are like a zillion times better than the D&D cop threads tho

a low bar

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
cops drink and smoke weed too :aaaaa:

big business man
Sep 30, 2012

Frog Act posted:

that guy seems monumentally stupid for buying weed in uniform

which reminds me, they drug test cops a lot, so whats the deal with the like loose cannon "Training Day" style cop stereotype? are there really cops out there who will like do coke with you if you testify falsely or something

most drugs are undetectable via urine samples in like 3-4 days

Pannus
Mar 14, 2004

some cops are actually pretty cool guys but maybe not in the usa

Clitch
Feb 26, 2002

I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

Chinatown posted:

Please make all police goons who post in their dumb hugbox thread GiP and Coupons only.

Thank you in advance.

Let's just put identifiers in their titles like the old 'Yiffy' stars.

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 13 hours!

Daedra posted:

cops drink and smoke weed too :aaaaa:

i've met some cool detectives who were complimentary about the quality of weed, and just took it and were like really obvious about going to smoke it. but most of the time the police are all uncritical and serious when they look you in teh eyes and say something like "you know pot dealers will sell pot to kindergardners, right? all they care about is the cash, those bastards"

that is verbatim what my friends were told when the cops smelled weed while asking them to move their car off the street and then brought like fifteen dudes in to execute a search warrant and completely ruin their poo poo over nothing

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burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Cops are actually pretty good and I like feeling safe thanks cops.

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