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Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Pvt.Scott posted:

Fanfic is a grand human tradition stretching back in time before the advent of the written word.
I've heard this a poo poo ton lately and I'd actually say it has it backwards. "Creative remixing," "writing in a shared setting," whatever you want to call it has had a long tradition dating back into the immemorial past. Saying that all of this is retroactively "fanfic" seems like looking at the history of human water transport from the first dugout canoes up through the navies of World War II and saying, "Container transports are a grand human tradition. Look at all of the containers those boats transported!"

Anyway carry on with the Yudding.

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Nah, it's just weird that in 1000 years some Harry Potter fanfic might be considered part of the canon.

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012

Pvt.Scott posted:

Nah, it's just weird that in 1000 years some Harry Potter fanfic might be considered part of the canon.

You think we'll remember Harry Potter in a thousand years?

Stravinsky
May 31, 2011

Pvt.Scott posted:

Fanfic is a grand human tradition stretching back in time before the advent of the written word. Storytellers have always used the ideas and works of others, especially characters, to inspire them and to reach an audience familiar to the original stories. The myths and legends of Coyote and Heracles and Moses that are accepted in modern times as canon are just collated and edited fanfic of the original tales. Some dude didn't just sit down one day and write the myths of the Greek gods as a complete work. Somebody just decided to write down what the countless storytellers and socially stunted hermits were making up. What we're left with is a curated "best fanfic of 387 b.c.e." anthology.

I am so ready for this thread.

E: the modern bible was curated by committee and general consensus, but even today we have the apocrypha that some accept as canon and some do not.

This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen

Stravinsky
May 31, 2011

Pvt.Scott posted:

Nah, it's just weird that in 1000 years some Harry Potter fanfic might be considered part of the canon.

This is second place though

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
Have people not been retelling and changing stories throughout history? No story is created whole cloth.

CestMoi
Sep 16, 2011

It is truly ironic that Homer wrote fanfiction of his favourite Greeks and likewise, in Marge gets hosed by everyone in Springfield I have written fanfiction of HOmer.

CestMoi
Sep 16, 2011

Pvt.Scott posted:

Have people not been retelling and changing stories throughout history? No story is created whole cloth.

When you think about it, whenever you speak you are doing fanfiction with words that other people have made up.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

CestMoi posted:

It is truly ironic that Homer wrote fanfiction of his favourite Greeks and likewise, in Marge gets hosed by everyone in Springfield I have written fanfiction of HOmer.

See? This guy gets it.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Pvt.Scott posted:

Have people not been retelling and changing stories throughout history? No story is created whole cloth.

Homer did not think he was writing about fictional characters created by another author - and the Greek gods and heros were not invented by any particular author, they were actual beliefs held by many people. Myths and religious beliefs are not the same thing as fiction, edgy atheist comments notwithstanding. (and while I'm sure you could dig up some nut online who actually seriously believes Hogwarts is a real place, that's not really the same thing as beliefs held on a cultural or social level)

Nessus posted:

I've heard this a poo poo ton lately and I'd actually say it has it backwards. "Creative remixing," "writing in a shared setting," whatever you want to call it has had a long tradition dating back into the immemorial past. Saying that all of this is retroactively "fanfic" seems like looking at the history of human water transport from the first dugout canoes up through the navies of World War II and saying, "Container transports are a grand human tradition. Look at all of the containers those boats transported!"

Also this.

Earwicker fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Feb 23, 2015

A Major Fucker
Mar 10, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
everyone here from phiz is mad

CestMoi
Sep 16, 2011

Raspy, I think you are mad.

A Major Fucker
Mar 10, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
i can't be made mad

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nessus posted:

I've heard this a poo poo ton lately and I'd actually say it has it backwards. "Creative remixing," "writing in a shared setting," whatever you want to call it has had a long tradition dating back into the immemorial past. Saying that all of this is retroactively "fanfic" seems like looking at the history of human water transport from the first dugout canoes up through the navies of World War II and saying, "Container transports are a grand human tradition. Look at all of the containers those boats transported!"

It's a purposefully flippant and simplistic interpretation of history through a modern lens, I'll admit. Fan Fiction in the Internet Age is really its own beast; a terribly written, cum-soaked beast.

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012

Pvt.Scott posted:

It's a purposefully flippant and simplistic interpretation of history through a modern lens, I'll admit. Fan Fiction in the Internet Age is really its own beast; a terribly written, cum-soaked beast.

poo poo, man, you ever read Ovid?

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer

Pvt.Scott posted:

See? This guy gets it.
It's only ironic if he' Greek, though.

The Unholy Ghost
Feb 19, 2011
If decent Harry has appeared for 2/3 chapters (including the first) and obnoxious Harry has appeared for only 1, then shouldn't the chapters with the obnoxious Harry be considered the ones written by a guest author, at least so far?

(obligatory im gay)

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers
Harry is the author's best guess at what a human is like.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


petrol blue posted:

Harry is the author's best guess at what the author to a fellow human is like.

FTFY

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

So apparently this was on a Berkley reading list for a fanfic course?

There's some pretty great tumblr drama over the course, since apparently you're not supposed to give fanfic reviews with constructive criticism.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Tunicate posted:

So apparently this was on a Berkley reading list for a fanfic course?

There's some pretty great tumblr drama over the course, since apparently you're not supposed to give fanfic reviews with constructive criticism.

If there's one thing people should do in school that they don't do now, it's learning how to properly give and take a critique. Art classes in college were funny when everyone seized up at critique time.

Added Space
Jul 13, 2012

Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!
From the latest chapter:

HPMoR posted:

"What else is Dumbledore to think, that you are an actor in a play whose stupid author has never met a real eleven-year-old? Only a gibbering dullard with a skull full of flaming monkey vomit would think - ah, never mind."

Guys I don't think he likes us. :ohdear:

DACK FAYDEN
Feb 25, 2013

Bear Witness

Added Space posted:

From the latest chapter:

Guys I don't think he likes us. :ohdear:
I prefer to believe he doesn't like himself.

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers
What is 'like'? Is 'like' rational? :geno:

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
The only rational emotion is a detached smug disdain.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Reviews for Chapters 2 and 3

quote:


cheekylildevil chapter 2 . Feb 28, 2010
Finally! A writer who has more than one chapter prepared! Please excuse my outburst there, I got a little exited... It's lovely to see that this chapter not only lives up to the previous chapter but is quite possibly better than it.

I loved the conversation at the beginning, stating the grounds on which the experiment was to be attempted, and the line on his biting the maths teacher, not to mention the ground on which he agreed to be a student. Just out of curiousity, how exactly does his sleep pattern work, I found it confused me slightly.

Thank you for another excellent chapter,

Indi



quote:


anonnatymousMARTIN chapter 2 . Mar 1, 2010
This is hilarious! I love all the technical slangs and the reactions Harry has towards McGonagall's visit and Magic defying the laws of Science.



quote:


HarmoniousPie chapter 2 . Mar 1, 2010
I'm hooked. This is amazing and hilarious and I loved McGonagalls line at end.

Plase update soon.



quote:


Jarno chapter 2 . Mar 2, 2010
Nice story, it has to be one of the most interesting as well as one of the most refreshing plots I've read in the last year or so. I do hope you are going to continue this story.

There is one thing I'd like to comment on, and that is the science though.

Changing into a cat does not violate the law of energy. While energy can not be destroyed, it can however be changed. There is nothing that doesn't say that the energy isn't put into another form during transfiguration.



quote:


DarkHeart81 chapter 2 . Mar 2, 2010
LMAO! Loved this chapter. I feel so stupid now... lol I could have done logarithms in my sleep back in high school... But now, I look at them and go that's a math problem? lol Loved the story about Harry biting the teacher. And the sleep cycle thing is and interesting twist. Can't wait to see what it's like for him at Hogwarts.



quote:


BellaDrogo chapter 2 . Mar 10, 2010
This is amazing! You must be really smart or really good at faking it! I honestly can not wait to see where it goes!



quote:


Hedwig's Owl chapter 2 . Mar 11, 2010
OK, it's only chapter 2 but I have to review right now because I'm laughing so hard I've got tears in my eyes. This is *perfect*. I love the concept and you write science!Harry so very well, plus his parents are great and I *love* that he bit the teacher and that McGonagall's got his measure so quickly. I love this fic!



quote:


happylady chapter 2 . Mar 14, 2010
I love post, that so very funny even the Professor had a hard

time keeping herself from laughing. If the rest of the story

is like this... count me in for the long haul

Until next time

Gloria



quote:


LonelyAura chapter 2 . Mar 26, 2010
X...D... I laughed for five minutes straight! Oh my god, you are an amazing author! Though I didn't get many of your words being below the eighth grade...



quote:


Bob Dole chapter 2 . Apr 3, 2010
De-fricking-lightful!

I am officially ecstatic to have found this story.

I've been laughing aloud for parts of it and almost squeeling with glee (in a very manly manner of course) over the discussions of proper observation and such. Rationality, curiosity... such WONDERFUL traits of ours, aren't they?



quote:


He Who Comes With the Dusk chapter 2 . Apr 10, 2010
Once again, an excellent chapter. Written well, and McGonagall seems very in character. Fine work once again.

And the back story you're forming for Harry is excellent as well! He *bit* a teacher! And "**She didn't know what a logarithm was!**" Priceless. In his defense, I'd have been rather upset too.

Once again, anxious to finish this review and get to the next chapter.



quote:


BeLlIxiEs chapter 2 . Apr 25, 2010
ok...SO i am dying of laughter here...is that even possible?

this is awesome! and oh so original!

thank you!

i must keep going now...

CHeers



quote:


Viridian chapter 2 . May 31, 2010
Oh ... just ... awesome! I loved Harry setting up the conditions for the "experiment" and making sure beforehand that both his parents accept the results. And the bit with Harry thinking about the history of physical and natural science - only for all of that to be flushed down the train by McGonagall's transformation (and his reaction to it ... the law of conservation of energy!) Ahhh, that was just priceless!



quote:


hhrforeverhhr chapter 3 . Mar 1, 2010
very very nice, i am loving how you are writing this story. i can't wait for the next chapter, update soon! wow, best story eva!



quote:


J-Kid chapter 3 . Mar 1, 2010
Oh, I am looking forward to reading more of this! What fun. I think I will look forward to Rational!Harry. I wonder how he will react to the Weasleys and Hermione and other characters in the HP series? (Well, considering Hermione is the secondary char. I've got a pretty good idea what will happen there. But it would be cool if he decided she was irrational- because sometimes Hermione IS irrational about various things (brilliant people can still be irrational, after all)- and they had to work to understand each other at first.



quote:


cheekylildevil chapter 3 . Mar 1, 2010
Wow, just incredible. I think this may be your best chapter yet, I adored the sheer amount of curiosity you could feel coming from harry as I read this, and the emotion as harry was told about his parents, and his quote at the end nearly moved me to tears.

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece with the world.

Indi



quote:


BenRG chapter 3 . Mar 2, 2010
A very interesting story concept and one that I've only previously seen approached from a humourous perspective (Rorsharchesblot's "Better Living Through Chemistry" for example).

It should be interesting to see what this very clear-minded Harry makes of the wizarding world and its inherit contradictions, stupidities and illogical thought-patterns. I'm REALLY looking forward to how the kid uses arithmancy, potions and ancient runes, the most scientific of the Hogwarts diciplines IMHO. I strongly expect his experiments to start racking up explosions fairly quickly.

I'm pretty sure that this Harry will be suited for Ravenclaw, although Dumbledore may wish him to be in Gryffindor and force the Hat to sort him appropriately. It should be very interesting to see how this very different personality handles the adventures awaiting him.

I have to congratulate you in making Harry still recognisably a pre-teen boy. He can be frightened, overwhelmed and his thinking disrupted by his emotions. It is the downfall of too many HP fanfictions that they make Harry virtually an adult (if a somewhat bipolar one). You seem to have avoided that trap so far.

BenRG's Rating: 8/10



quote:


Nachoman1 chapter 3 . Mar 3, 2010
Alright, Petunia spurned Vernon and managed to land a book eater and physics professor. Thus, a Harry who lives by the cientific method and is even more scientific literate that I was by his age enters Hogwarts.

Terrifying. Astounding. Now you even managed to write the most convincing explanation on the mechanics of the Killing Curse that I have read these past few years.

You have me with hook, line and sinker. Take as long as you need to update: quality work can't be rushed.



quote:


Cinnamon Selkie chapter 3 . Mar 3, 2010
Thus far I find this story absolutely brilliant. Please update it soon. Cinnamon.



quote:


riayi chapter 3 . Mar 12, 2010
It is so very satisfying to read a well written story, where fare is not substituted by fair, or there with their, and has a fun and original premise, that really, I don't know what to say. Rationalist Harry is such a refreshing change, that I can already imagine the following days, years, or months checking daily to see if you've added another chapter. In chapter 5, the scene with Draco was specially nice, and I guess it can lead to all kinds of interesting (and fun, again) changes to their relationship. The intermissions in italics are a bit of a puzzle, but I suppose everything will get explained eventually.



quote:


uo-chou chapter 3 . Mar 19, 2010
Interesting. So behind his rationalist exterior, Harry is still a normal boy. Excellent. I don't like Harry Stu's. Keep up the good work.



quote:


liareh chapter 3 . Mar 27, 2010
CH 3 Review:

For all of Harry's rationality, I am glad that there are small bits and pieces of him acting like a 11-yr old - whether it was hating his parents arguing/not arguing, biting incident ( rather, his response to his parent's relating the incident ) and now wandering away from McGonagall for a minute. Finally of course, his reaction to hearing Mc Gonagall's recounting of his story ( now, history).

I am glad that he is sounding 11 yr old still.

Good going.



quote:


He Who Comes With the Dusk chapter 3 . Apr 10, 2010
Still fantastic, and I love this Harry more and more! You are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors, and this is quickly becoming one of my favorite stories.

Also, one question I forgot to ask: Is the 26-hour sleep-cycle based on a real medical case, or on the one xkcd strip where the guy's internal clock is drifting west? (I assume, based on the knowledge you seem to have, that you read xkcd (a webcomic). If you don't, you should.) Or neither?



quote:


LuMiLoS chapter 3 . May 3, 2010
I have sampled many Harry Potter tales that exist within an alternative universe similar, but diversely separate from the mainstream. Needless to say I have seen many that brought shame upon the novel, but you're story is one that I will always look upon with respect and admiration to its creator.

Using big words and phrases is fun :))

P.S. ur awesome



quote:


Darkness Consumes the Souls chapter 3 . Jun 29, 2010
...emotions are irrational...hes a whiny bitch...its like a hermione canonharry...book smarts...at least so far.

there is a reason smarter people are cold and less connected to emotions...he does not understand the reality of the world or is in ignorant bliss of it...innocence is overrated.

only when someone that is smart realizes how lovely the world is do they become truly intelligent...harry is a draco malfoy in the muggle world.



quote:


Melverne chapter 3 . Nov 17, 2010
drat fine chapter. It was much more serious than the previous two. Following a rough outline of JKR's work you have introduced several alterations which have peeked my interest. I am looking forward to see what happens next. It didn't take five chapters to capture me.

-Melverne



quote:


Please write a book chapter 3 . Nov 26, 2010
I mean, please write *another* book, one with your own characters and world. You have the gift for making characters real-your version of Harry Potter is already vastly more real to me than Rowling's-and putting them in situations that reveal their character and give them interesting choices.

I would gladly buy a novel of yours.

Gratefully,

Mickey.

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo
Chapter 4: The Efficient Market Hypothesis

quote:


Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling is watching you from where she waits, eternally in the void between worlds.

A/N: As others have noted, the novels seem inconsistent in the apparent purchasing power of a Galleon; I'm picking a consistent value and sticking with it. Five pounds sterling to the Galleon doesn't square with seven Galleons for a wand and children using hand-me-down wands.


It's a children's book! Sheesh.


quote:


__________________________________________

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."

__________________________________________

Heaps of gold Galleons. Stacks of silver Sickles. Piles of bronze Knuts.

Harry stood there, and stared with his mouth open at the family vault. He had so many questions he didn't know where to start.

From just outside the door of the vault, Professor McGonagall watched him, seeming to lean casually against the wall, but her eyes intent. Well, that made sense. Being plopped in front of a giant heap of gold coins was a test of character so pure it was archetypal.

"Are these coins the pure metal?" Harry said finally.

"What?" hissed the goblin Griphook, who was waiting near the door. "Are you questioning the integrity of Gringotts, Mr. Potter-Evans-Verres?"

"No," said Harry absently, "not at all, sorry if that came out wrong, sir. I just have no idea at all how your financial system works. I'm asking if Galleons in general are made of pure gold."

"Of course," said Griphook.

"And can anyone coin them, or are they issued by a monopoly that thereby collects seigniorage?"


Ugh. We're back to "absurd polymath Harry Potter" in this chapter, I see.


quote:


"What?" said Professor McGonagall.

Griphook grinned, showing sharp teeth. "Only a fool would trust any but goblin coin!"

"In other words," Harry said, "the coins aren't supposed to be worth any more than the metal making them up?"

Griphook stared at Harry. Professor McGonagall looked bemused.

"I mean, suppose I came in here with a ton of silver. Could I get a ton of Sickles made from it?"

"For a fee, Mr. Potter-Evans-Verres." The goblin watched him with glittering eyes. "For a certain fee. Where would you find a ton of silver, I wonder?"

"I was speaking hypothetically," Harry said. For now, at any rate. "So... how much would you charge in fees, as a fraction of the whole weight?"

Griphook's eyes were intent. "I would have to consult my superiors..."

"Give me a wild guess. I won't hold Gringotts to it."

"A twentieth part of the metal would well pay for the coining."

Harry nodded. "Thank you very much, Mr. Griphook."

So not only is the wizarding economy almost completely decoupled from the Muggle economy, no one here has ever heard of arbitrage. The larger Muggle economy had a fluctuating trading range of gold to silver, so every time the Muggle gold-to-silver ratio got more than 5% away from the weight of seventeen Sickles to one Galleon, either gold or silver should have drained from the wizarding economy until it became impossible to maintain the exchange rate. Bring in a ton of silver, change to Sickles (and pay 5%), change the Sickles for Galleons, take the gold to the Muggle world, exchange it for more silver than you started with, and repeat.

Wasn't the Muggle gold to silver ratio somewhere around fifty to one? Harry didn't think it was seventeen, anyway. And it looked like the silver coins were actually smaller than the gold coins.


Totally a 10-year old, yup. Totally.


quote:


Then again, Harry was standing in a bank that literally stored your money in vaults full of gold coins guarded by dragons, where you had to go in and take coins out of your vault whenever you wanted to spend money. The finer points of arbitraging away market inefficiencies might well be lost on them. He'd been tempted to make snide remarks about the crudity of their financial system...


It's a children's book about going to magic school and riding on broomsticks and fighting evil wizards! Sheesh!


quote:


But the sad thing is, their way is probably better.

On the other hand, one competent hedge fundie could probably own the whole wizarding world within a week. Harry filed away this notion in case he ever ran out of money, or had a week free.


Can we get the guest writer from Chapter 3 back? Please?


quote:


Meanwhile, the giant heaps of gold coins within the Potter vault ought to suit his near-term requirements.

Harry stumped forward, and began picking up gold coins with one hand and dumping them into the other.

When he had reached twenty, Professor McGonagall coughed. "I think that will be more than enough to pay for your school supplies, Mr. Potter."

"Hm?" Harry said, his mind elsewhere. "Hold on, I'm doing a Fermi calculation."

"A what? " said Professor McGonagall, sounding somewhat alarmed.

"It's a mathematical thing. Named after Enrico Fermi. A way of getting rough numbers quickly in your head..."

Twenty gold Galleons weighed a tenth of a kilogram, maybe? And gold was, what, ten thousand British pounds a kilogram? So a Galleon would be worth about fifty pounds... The mounds of gold coins looked to be about sixty coins high and twenty coins wide in either dimension of the base, and a mound was pyramidal, so it would be around one-third of the cube. Eight thousand Galleons per mound, roughly, and there were around five mounds of that size, so forty thousand Galleons or 2 million pounds sterling.


Why do you even need a Fermi calculation, or any kind of calculation, when you can simply ask the banker right next to you how many coins you have and how much they weigh?


quote:


Not bad. Harry smiled with a certain grim satisfaction. It was too bad that he was right in the middle of discovering the amazing new world of magic, and couldn't take time out to explore the amazing new world of being rich, which a quick Fermi estimate said was roughly a billion times less interesting.

Still, that's the last time I ever mow a lawn for one lousy pound.

Harry wheeled from the giant heap of money. "Pardon me for asking, Professor McGonagall, but I understand that my parents were in their twenties when they died. Is this a usual amount of money for a young couple to have in their vault, in the wizarding world?" If it was, a cup of tea probably cost five thousand pounds. Rule one of economics: you can't eat money.

Professor McGonagall shook her head. "Your father was the last heir of an old family, Mr. Potter. It's also possible..." The witch hesitated. "Some of this money may be from bounties placed on You-Know-Who, payable to his ki- ah, to whoever might defeat him. Or those bounties might not have been collected yet. I am not sure."

"Interesting..." Harry said slowly. "So some of this really is, in a sense, mine. That is, earned by me. Sort of. Possibly. Even if I don't remember the occasion." Harry's fingers tapped against his trouser-leg. "That makes me feel less guilty about spending a very tiny fraction of it! Don't panic, Professor McGonagall! "

"Mr. Potter! You are a minor, and as such, you will only be allowed to make reasonable withdrawals from -"

"I am all about reasonable! I am totally on board with fiscal prudence and impulse control! But I did see some things on the way here which would constitute sensible, grown-up purchases..."


"I am totally on board with fiscal prudence and impulse control" - Totally something a 10-year would say.


quote:


Harry locked gazes with Professor McGonagall, engaging in a silent staring contest.

"Like what?" Professor McGonagall said finally.

"Trunks whose insides hold more than their outsides?"

Professor McGonagall's face grew stern. "Those are very expensive, Mr. Potter!"

"Yes, but -" Harry pleaded. "I'm sure that when I'm an adult I'll want one. And I can afford one. Logically, it would make just as much sense to buy it now instead of later, and get the use of it right away. It's the same money either way, right? I mean, I would want a good one, with lots of room inside, good enough that I wouldn't have to just get a better one later..." Harry trailed off hopefully.

Professor McGonagall's gaze didn't waver. "And just what would you keep in a trunk like that, Mr. Potter -"

"Books."

"Of course," sighed Professor McGonagall.

"You should have told me much earlier that sort of magic item existed! And that I could afford one! Now my father and I are going to have to spend the next two days frantically hitting up all the secondhand bookshops for old textbooks, so I can have a decent science library with me at Hogwarts - and maybe a small science fiction collection, if I can assemble something decent out of the bargain bins. Or better yet, I'll make the deal a little sweeter for you, okay? Just let me buy -"

"Mr. Potter! You think you can bribe me?"

"What? No! Not like that! I'm saying, Hogwarts can keep some of the books I bring, if you think that any of them would make good additions to the library. I'm going to be getting them cheap, and I just want to have them around somewhere or other. It's okay to bribe people with books, right? That's a -"

"Family tradition."

"Yes, exactly."

Professor McGonagall's body seemed to slump, the shoulders lowering within her black robes. "I cannot deny the sense of your words, though I much wish I could. I will allow you to withdraw an additional hundred Galleons, Mr. Potter." She sighed again. "I know that I shall regret this, and I am doing it anyway."

"That's the spirit! And does a 'mokeskin pouch' do what I think it does?"

"It can't do as much as a trunk," the witch said with visible reluctance, "but... a mokeskin pouch with a Retrieval Charm and Undetectable Extension Charm can hold a number of items until they are called forth by the one who emplaced them -"

"Yes! I definitely need one of those too! It would be like the super beltpack of ultimate awesomeness! Batman's utility belt of holding!


Okay, that's a little more like a 10-year old. Credit where it's due.


quote:


Never mind my swiss army knife, I could carry a whole tool set in there! Or books! I could have the top three books I was reading on me at all times, and just pull one out anywhere! I'll never have to waste another minute of my life! What do you say, Professor McGonagall? It's for the sake of children's reading, the best of all possible causes."

"...I suppose you may add another ten Galleons."

Griphook was favouring Harry with a gaze of frank respect, possibly even outright admiration.

"And a little spending money, like you mentioned earlier. I think I can remember seeing one or two other things I might want to store in that pouch."

"Don't push it, Mr. Potter."

"But oh, Professor McGonagall, why rain on my parade? Surely this is a happy day, when I discover all things wizarding for the first time! Why act the part of the grumpy grownup when instead you could smile and remember your own innocent childhood, watching the look of delight upon my young face as I buy a few toys using an insignificant fraction of the wealth that I earned by defeating the most terrible wizard Britain has ever known, not that I'm accusing you of being ungrateful or anything, but still, what are a few toys compared to that?"

"You," growled Professor McGonagall. There was a look on her face so fearsome and terrible that Harry squeaked and stepped back, knocking over a pile of gold coins with a great jingling noise and sprawling backwards into a heap of money. Griphook sighed and put a palm over his face. "I would be doing a great service to wizarding Britain, Mr. Potter, if I locked you in this vault and left you here."


You really would, Griphook. Do it. Do it! Lock him in the vault!


quote:


And they left without any more trouble.


Awww. He missed the chance. :smith:

Arc Hammer
Mar 4, 2013

Got any deathsticks?
Jesus h christ that was annoying. How drae a book about wizards and broomsticks not have a functioning bank system! Though you must wonder how many of these supposed "fkaws" in Rowling's writing are really her fault and how much of it is yudkowski putting words in characters' mouths to make them look stupid next to harry.

Also, I just thought of something from chapter 1. Why does harry still have the same squib neighbor as he did in the books? Am I to believe that a super rich scientist teacher dad is going to live in the suburbs of little whinging?

petrol blue
Feb 9, 2013

sugar and spice
and
ethanol slammers
Is his dad rich? I was getting "pretentious douche with airs", but that might just be the, uh, default.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.

Grimey Drawer

petrol blue posted:

Is his dad rich? I was getting "pretentious douche with airs", but that might just be the, uh, default.
My money's on the ever-permeating spirit of the author.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Arcsquad12 posted:

Jesus h christ that was annoying. How drae a book about wizards and broomsticks not have a functioning bank system! Though you must wonder how many of these supposed "fkaws" in Rowling's writing are really her fault and how much of it is yudkowski putting words in characters' mouths to make them look stupid next to harry.

Also, I just thought of something from chapter 1. Why does harry still have the same squib neighbor as he did in the books? Am I to believe that a super rich scientist teacher dad is going to live in the suburbs of little whinging?
Obviously the fact that hundreds of bored and neurotic nerds talking on the internet for years discovered logistical flaws in the universe established by one middle-aged British woman is proof that she's a hack. Wisdom of the crowd, man! Consult the internal HP markets!

As for the latter I doubt he's super rich. Assuming he's a tenured professor or something, that's good money but it's middle/upper middle, not super posh Richie Rich. I think in the books Harry's family were solidly middle class - he wasn't in a state of material want, just emotionally so.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Arcsquad12 posted:

Jesus h christ that was annoying. How drae a book about wizards and broomsticks not have a functioning bank system! Though you must wonder how many of these supposed "fkaws" in Rowling's writing are really her fault and how much of it is yudkowski putting words in characters' mouths to make them look stupid next to harry.


Yeah. It's easy to make characters stupid and then say 'lol you are stupid'



If you want to do something clever, come up with a convincing reason WHY something works as it does (even if it doesn't seem like it should on the surface level). Like, The Strange Disappearance of SallyAnne Perks, for instance, explains why a really minnor character mysteriously vanishes midway through the series. Instead of just pointing and saying 'lol it is dumb that rowling forgot a character I am SMRT smart'.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
The disappearance of a student at Hogwarts is no mystery. The school has more than enough money and political clout to cover up the occasional student death.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


^^It's a "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" type of critique, particularly since Rowling sort of makes a point of keeping a large roster of characters going (and then killing many of them in the last book). It's still kind of an absurd mystery (disguised as criticism) but at the very least it fits with the...spirit, I guess...of the novels. This dreck certainly does not.
EDIT: On further reading I take it back, the story becomes a mystery in its own right. It even covers a few plot holes Rowling left in.

Yeah who honestly gave a poo poo about the banking system. It was there to be cool and to say "this kid has money, our plot moves along"

poo poo I just thought of what would happen if Big Yud gave Three Parts Dead this sort of treatment. It'd be totally insufferable. That book also loves its tangents, but those are actually interesting as opposed to this.
He'd probably make me wanna strangle Tara, even if she was originally a good protagonist :(

Seraphic Neoman fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Feb 24, 2015

Bobbin Threadbare
Jan 2, 2009

I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Arcsquad12 posted:

Jesus h christ that was annoying. How drae a book about wizards and broomsticks not have a functioning bank system! Though you must wonder how many of these supposed "fkaws" in Rowling's writing are really her fault and how much of it is yudkowski putting words in characters' mouths to make them look stupid next to harry.

Also, I just thought of something from chapter 1. Why does harry still have the same squib neighbor as he did in the books? Am I to believe that a super rich scientist teacher dad is going to live in the suburbs of little whinging?

I'm pretty sure the flaws in Rowling's books stem from "she is not an economist, nor did she think she would need to consult an economist to explain a background detail in a children's book about magic and wizards."

Yudkowski sure showed her, didn't he?

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

I'm pretty sure the flaws in Rowling's books stem from "she is not an economist, nor did she think she would need to consult an economist to explain a background detail in a children's book about magic and wizards."

Well maybe she ought to have if she doesn't want Hogwarts to fold due to crushing debt as repair and reconstruction costs vastly outweigh any income from tuition, especially as enrollment drops to an all time low as having a lot of murders and dark lords showing up is not good pr.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I would no poo poo read a story about a magical banker who helps run a wizard bank and goes on banking adventures, though. Exploring what the 'normal' world is like for wizbiz would be lots of fun, because much like school, I imagine their banking is full of hilarious misadventures.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Night10194 posted:

I would no poo poo read a story about a magical banker who helps run a wizard bank and goes on banking adventures, though. Exploring what the 'normal' world is like for wizbiz would be lots of fun, because much like school, I imagine their banking is full of hilarious misadventures.

what is a "banking adventure"?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Earwicker posted:

what is a "banking adventure"?

Hostile takeovers and repo jobs, mostly.

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Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Night10194 posted:

I would no poo poo read a story about a magical banker who helps run a wizard bank and goes on banking adventures, though. Exploring what the 'normal' world is like for wizbiz would be lots of fun, because much like school, I imagine their banking is full of hilarious misadventures.

Terry Pratchet's Making Money is sort of this.

The Craft Trilogy is this but about equity (except instead of money it's your soul)

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