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Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
i turned 21 in prison, but i broke out when the sheriff napped and now i hunt for those who wronged me with the big iron at my hip.

only the thoughts of my juanita keep me company, and i love her even though she is in the arms of the oilman big jim. ill ride up on my horse white as a pearl, and grab her and ride off after that steam train in the sunset where ill make my fortune and hide it in a cave up in the hills.

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Chrpno
Apr 17, 2006

truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
*solo*
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
one day ill siphon enough gas and make it to the big city and be a movie star

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
only with an affected accent and brand name denim will i affirm my masculinity

Wizzle
Jun 7, 2004

Most
Parochial
Poster


I like inexpensive beer and inexpensive whiskey.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Space trucker is weary of the long trip to Uranus.

Wizzle
Jun 7, 2004

Most
Parochial
Poster


I pretend to be disrespectful of women but truthfully I'm on the receiving end of an abusive relationship.

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
wasted and wounded in the dusty trails of the arizona, with only my old grand dad to comfort me

PTSDeedly Do
Nov 24, 2014

VOID-DOME LOSER 2020


I'm playing music that originated in the southwest but I wish that the confederacy won

Doctor J Off
Dec 28, 2005

There Is
john henry died with a hammer in his hand in protest of the infernal steam shovel. likewise, ill die with a cheeseburger in my hand with a tv on, but by god we'll stop obamacare

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
My truck, my dog, and prison

Stottie Kyek
Apr 26, 2008

fuckin egg in a bun
I'm a big shapely rear end in blue cut-off jean shorts and long legs in cowboy boots. I don't exist above the waist, I'm just an rear end and legs.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Chrpno posted:

truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
*solo*
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving truck driving girls driving
truck driving girls driving

This. I never listen to country music but I put some on on songza a while ago and every song was exactly that.

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
*is your poo poo-kickin' speed-takin' truck-drivin' neighbor downstairs*

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
I done my man wrong.

Ancient Mariner
Jan 14, 2015

by Lowtax
itt

fuccboi
Jan 5, 2004

by zen death robot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ9QvfnIJUk

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics
stfu op

Leg0z
Apr 30, 2003

I'm crushing your head!
*is girl that just turned 16

Julien Sorel
Jan 27, 2006

Voted Worst Marksman of 1830
*enjoys lemonade*
*comes from small town*
*city folk, i just don't get them*
*wife/girlfriend dies of cancer or car crash shortly after prom*
*lot of porch sitting*

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Discharged a firearm into the jukebox because it played a sad song.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Driving my International Harvester down the highway, going super slow because I'm a loving piece of poo poo rear end in a top hat.

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics
I prefer to list/discuss stuff that happens enough to be referenced on tvtropes

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX
yeah ive been living on a train for about 160 years, no big deal

Pot Smoke Phoenix
Aug 15, 2007



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Dinosaur Gum
**plays self backwards and sounds like Pharrell's "Happy"**

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
*Shoots a man in Reno*

Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?
and although i screamed and cried and hollered right out loud
it was three fifteen to four when they found me buried in the ground

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
i'm just a simple man and it ain't in my nature to be p.c. and uptight people constantly get offended by my down home country racismwisdom

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
*Trains as a metaphor for life/freedom*

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Mama said, the pistol is the devil's right hand

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer

Splatmaster posted:

**plays self backwards and sounds like Pharrell's "Happy"**

*plays self backwards and my wife comes back, my dog comes back, I'm sober and employed*
Edit: the dog is my wife, cause I'm from the south

Tite Barnacle fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Feb 25, 2015

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX

Zeroisanumber posted:

*Trains as a metaphor for life/freedom*

metaphor? the trains represent trains

Phobic Nest
Oct 2, 2013

You Are My Sunshine
My story ain't complicated but it has a clever twist at the end.

See I changed a couple of words around in the last chorus. Now I'm as big a cheating whore as her, ha ha!

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
"Get yer tongue out my mouth 'cause I'm kissin' you goodbye!"

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
*hitchhikes to Mobile, AL with a ghost trucker*

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Monkey Fracas posted:

*hitchhikes to Mobile, AL with a ghost trucker*

one of my bucket list items that sadly i think will never be crossed off

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


well i was drunk the day my mom got out of prison and i went to pick her up in the rain but before i could get to the station in my pick-up truck she got runned over by a damned old train

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


im just going to sit in this old bar drinking wild turkey or maybe jack daniels listening to george jones until im drunk enough to drive back and beat my wife whose cheating on me with the very same banker who just seized by brothers house because cottons down to a quarter a pound

Nefarious
Sep 26, 2000

by XyloJW
im gay

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a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

white people are the best people

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