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Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



something awful horoscope section

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

INTROVERTS: You will find a fresh perspective in an old place; remember to dwell on your successes.

EXTROVERTS: Don't hesitate to do the task you've been putting off, it will prove easier and more fruitful than you imagined.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

INTUITORS: Over hard; Extra pickles, no mayo; Medium-Well; Limoncello

SENSORS: set to long range, execute metaphasic sweep, keep an eye near the particle debris fields on either side of the Kobayashi Maru

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

THINKERS: Put an egg under your hat today; it will remind you of the fragility of life and to keep your hat on because it's going to be cold

FEELERS: Today key phrase is 'frightful mango'- remember key phrase 'frightful mango' - please proceed to task place 4, lift handset, and signal understand using key phrase 'frightful mango'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

JUDGERS: In the town where you were born lived was a man who sailed to sea and he told you about his life in the land of submarines. So you sailed up to the sun until you found the sea of green and you lived beneath the waves in your yellow submarine.

PERCEIVERS: You grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side, where staying alive was no jive. Had secondhands, mom's bounced on old man, so then you moved to Shaolin land.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

post yr horoscopes itt

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Huge Lady Pleaser
Jun 17, 2005

hello how r u doing im just looking for ppl 2 chill wit relax go out n have funn if ur looking for da same thing hit me up
Nap Ghost
2/27 OP: you will be tempted to post a horrible thread today. It will be best if you avoid the forums altogether. Lucky numbers: 69, 420, 1

nononsense
Feb 28, 2013
I blame all my poor life choices and worries on an old 1957 horoscope calendar that I still use every year.

Today is worse than usual. "What you thought was rock-solid turns out to be a bit squishy -- but that might not be such a bad thing. Your ability to surf through ambiguity should serve you quite well today." It's clearly mocking me.

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
I only listen to John Cage stuff, and only the later stuff at that

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012
mine says im gay

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



Aries: CANCER
Taurus: CANCER
Gemini: CANCER
Cancer: CANCER
Leo: CANCER
Virgo: CANCER
Libra: CANCER
Scorpio: CANCER
Sagittarius: CANCER
Aquarius: CANCER
Pisces: CANCER

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
its a horrorscope!!

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
oh actually no cancer for me a capricorn, all is well

CCrew
Nov 5, 2007

Holy poo poo those predictions are super accurate! I hope this is a good month for Leo's! What's up with Saturn lately though?

Pajser
Jan 28, 2006

Christmas Present posted:

Aries: CANCER
Taurus: CANCER
Gemini: CANCER
Cancer: CANCER
Leo: CANCER
Virgo: CANCER
Libra: CANCER
Scorpio: CANCER
Sagittarius: CANCER
Aquarius: CANCER
Pisces: CANCER

i meet a cancer about a month ago.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Sagittarius (27 Feb 2015): you are, and continue to be, hung like a horse.


*looks down*
It's true! :aaa:

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



what also matters is what planet you were born on

Mercury: You will meet a person who will become important to you
Venus: It is a bad day to start a new project
Earth: Two deep incisions from nipple to bellybutton; lift/tear flap upwards and stuff into mouth; chew and swallow and eat until broken
Mars: Try not to let your failures define you

Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

CCrew posted:

Holy poo poo those predictions are super accurate! I hope this is a good month for Leo's! What's up with Saturn lately though?

I thought Leo's were the sun?

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

Libra(27 Feb 2015): your gay


hmm interesting

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Demora
Aug 13, 2004

It wouldn't be the Enterprise without a Sulu at the helm

You will die. Eventually. And your lucky numbers are 3, 9, 12, 31, 42.

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